Reluctant

The day I saw him.

At that time, I must... give him a good hug.

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Please call me Shuai Dust x

Damn, my BE is finally over hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(59)

After leaving the marriage registration form with the younger brother, Bai Huan thanked him and got up to leave.

It was getting dark, and most convenience stores closed before six o'clock.

Bai Huan didn't bring anything except his card and cash, and was going to go to a 711 convenience store (24h) to buy something.

The Thames River at night is a little quiet, and the bridge is filled with a quiet atmosphere, there are few people, and the neon lights are a bit dazzling when it shines into the sight.

Bai Huan sat leaning on one side with the long bread and milk he bought, looking at the calm and turbulent Thames River, his eyes raised a little far away.

It's a little cold near the water in winter, Bai Huan only wore a black windbreaker, the material was a bit thin, when the wind blew, there was a sound of hunting by the bridge, he didn't want to eat something after buying it, Bai Huan just hugged Convenience bag in a daze.

Bai Huan didn't bother to pay attention to the dull pain in his stomach that he hadn't cared for for a long time, and he leaned against the wall and began to close his eyes and meditate.

The next morning, he was woken up by the sound of playfulness. Bai Huan opened his eyes, just in time to see a group of girls whispering something around him. He could vaguely hear the pronunciation of a few words, "death", "lie", "god" "(die, lie down, God)

Bai Huan was speechless for a long time before standing up from the ground, his voice was a little cold, "I'm fine. (I'm fine) thank you."

"Oh! You look familiar!" A blond girl exclaimed in surprise (please don't question her speaking in English... I really can't translate?_?), "It looks like a person walking out of a painting."

Bai Huan smiled politely, although his face looked tired, he still looked good, "Miss, you must be joking."

"Oh no! I must have seen you in some painting!" The blonde girl frowned, then turned to discuss with her sister.

Bai Huan was a little dumbfounded, but he was not in a hurry anyway, so he simply stood aside and watched.

"Yet! I remembered! You are the one that Su often draws!" A girl suddenly pointed at Bai Huan happily, and Bai Huan glanced at her, and a gleam of light suddenly flashed in his eyes, "Su?"

"Su is a well-recognized master in our neighborhood! His paintings are really great!" The girl took Bai Huan's words and said.

Bai Huan's footsteps were unsteady for a moment, and there was an element of expectation in his voice, "Then where does he usually appear?"

Seeing this, the girl quickly pointed to the streets past the Thames River, and said softly, "Su usually sketches over there. He should have arrived by now, you can go and have a look."

After hearing this, Bai Huan smiled at the girls, thanked them and ran over there.

Su?

Su.

In the end...in the end...is it...?

The sky in London has always been cloudy and rainy, but today's sky is exceptionally blue.

When Bai Huan was halfway running, he stopped suddenly.

I vaguely saw someone pointing at him and saying something.

very surprised.

The more Bai Huan listened, the more he wanted to laugh, so he slowed down and continued walking.

"Yesterday I went to Su's place to pick up the paintings, and asked who the characters in those paintings were... Su said it was his husband." A woman who was a little closer to Bai Huan said to another woman.

"Wow~ I guessed that Su has a lover!"

"Su is a very gentle person."

……

Bai Huan stopped three meters away from that person, looked down.

The man was sitting cross-legged on the ground, lowering his head and drawing on paper.

It seems that some flesh has grown, and the clothes don't look so empty on the body.

Her hair has grown to below her shoulders, and when she lowered her head to draw, a few strands hung slightly on the paper.

Maybe it was because of standing and looking at Su She for too long, the angle of the sun was a bit off, and Bai Huan's shadow was cast on the drawing paper.

Su She paused for a few seconds while drawing, and asked in English without looking up, "Can I help you?"

Bai Huan took a few steps forward, looked down at Su She.

Something seemed to be stuck in his throat, and Bai Huan's hanging hand trembled a little.

Seeing that there was no one answering for a long while, Su She looked up suspiciously and the shadow was cast on the drawing paper again.

A drop of icy cold water hit her face and slid down her cheeks.

"I miss you so much." The trembling voice came to her ears, and Su She's mind went blank.

After the Qingming Festival, Bai Huan's face was full of tears.

"Su She, I miss you so much."

Hoarse and dry voice.

Because of raising her head, Su She's hair slightly covered her eyes, making it impossible for Bai Huan to see clearly.

Reaching out her hand to touch the cold water droplets on her face, Su She hurriedly threw away the drawing book and stood up, "Bai...Bai Huan."

Bai Huan didn't speak, but looked at Su She with blurred vision.

Su She's eyes, Su She's nose, Su She's mouth, Su She's face.

Su She, Bai Huan's Su She.

"Why did you come?" Su She was panicked by his constant staring, and asked nervously.

Bai Huan tilted his head slightly, squinted his eyes and looked at Su She as if drunk, and suddenly grinned, "Am I dreaming again?"

Su She frowned suspiciously, "No."

"I've hugged a lot of people since you left." Bai Huan smiled stupidly, as if he was recalling, his expression was a little embarrassed, "I knew it wasn't you, but I still hugged you because I felt like your back. I ate a lot at that time. Other people's tofu." After speaking, he smiled softly.

Knowing that Bai Huan was in a daze, Su She subconsciously pursed her lower lip, then let go, "I... I thought you would forget me."

"Heh." Bai Huan wiped his face and let out a wry smile, "So you pretended to be dead?"

There was sadness in Su She's eyes, she looked at Bai Huan, and said after a long time, "You haven't liked me for a long time, and I'm about to die again, why did I die so embarrassingly by your side?"

Bai Huan's face turned pale, and he smiled in a low voice, "Have you liked it for a long time?...Your family likes... how long?" After a few seconds of silence, Bai Huan looked at Su She with sadness in his eyes, "Look at Su She. Quite smart, why are you still so stupid at the critical moment?...Aren't you afraid of dying alone in a foreign land?"

Su She paused and was speechless.

"At the end of the day, you still have scruples about everyone but me." Bai Huan said calmly, his expression gradually becoming a little cold.

After hearing this, Su She quickly denied, "I like you the most...I..."

"I don't believe that I will always like you. I am afraid of dying in front of me. I feel that Bai Huan's liking is vulnerable..." Bai Huan's voice sounded a little cold, but with a deep sense of burnout, "Really?"

Su She's hands hanging by her side trembled slightly.

Bai Huan looked around. Su She should be a street painter, and there were many finished paintings beside him. When he found that all the finished paintings were his own, Bai Huan suddenly couldn't breathe.

"How could I like such an idiot like you." With a choked up voice, Bai Huan bent down in pain, his hands tightly clutching the clothes on his chest.

Su She was so frightened by his actions that her face turned completely pale, and she hurried over to ask Bai Huan if he was okay.

Bai Huan gave him a slight push, and was afraid that Su She would fall, so he stretched out his hand to protect him, with a painful expression on his face, "You are cured now, and you can live well without me, right? What's the point of drawing these? "

Su She looked at Bai Huan worriedly, and said with a choked voice as if about to cry, "Bai Huan...?"

Bai Huan slowed down for a while, then let go of his clenched hands that turned pale, and said softly in a hoarse voice, "Don't cry, I'm fine."

"You...don't be brave..." Su She's voice was low and small.

Bai Huan looked at him and sighed, "Did my dad make a deal with you?"

Su She was startled when she heard the words, and opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"You eat too much sugar and your brain is stuck? Do you really think that he can protect me when I leave? He sent you to England and asked you to leave me. Then he returned Bai to me and helped me live a lifetime of happiness." A normal life?" Bai Huan's expression was a little cold, and Su She was a little dazed.

Su She nodded invisibly, Bai Huan was silent for a while, and said, "You made me fall in love with a man, and now I think it's not normal for me to like a man..."

There was a smile on the corner of his mouth, and Bai Huan's voice was very empty, "Su She, you are really funny."

As if exhausted to the limit, Bai Huan turned around and wanted to leave.

Su She suddenly hugged Bai Huan and buried her head in Bai Huan's chest.

Bai Huan let him hold him, without saying a word or moving.

"you lost weight."

It was a soft voice, with a clear crying voice.

Su She hugged Bai Huan tightly with all her strength, her tears were all on Bai Huan's body, "Why are you so thin..."

"The 390th and fifth day." Su She heard Bai Huan's voice from above her head, it was faint but very sad, "How can you be so cruel?"

So many days and nights...

You left me so many days and nights.

"It's okay..." Bai Huan lowered his head, hugged Su She back, hugged him tightly, and murmured in a low and hoarse voice, "It's okay...it's a good thing you're still alive...it's a good thing you lied to me..."

Su She was startled when she heard this.

Suddenly he couldn't stop crying.

fine…

It's a good thing you're still alive.

It's a good thing you didn't lie to me.

Being hugged by Bai Huan and whimpering softly, vague words came out, "Do you... think... you are... very smart?..."

Bai Huan's clothes were soiled by him, and he threatened, "If you get snot on me again, I'll go home and soak your ashes in water to drink."

Su She was taken aback, took a deep breath, and stopped crying.

"My ashes?" asked in a low voice.

Bai Huan finally regained his aloof appearance