Mr. Choo and Hei Shijae

Osamu Dazai and Aki Takeshita have lived together for more than a month.

If you want to talk about the impact of cohabitation with Mr. Qiu, except that the three meals have a very high quality assurance (excluding annoying vegetables!), the biggest change is the improvement of the quality of sleep at night.

Mr. Qiu is simply an all-round life steward.

Ever since he discovered Mr. Aki's superb massage skills one day, Dazai has been enjoying this service every night rather unceremoniously.

Anyway, Mr. Qiu will not refuse.

Like other cohabitation benefits, Mr. Aki is not only very skilled, but also very suitable for Dazai's needs, as if it was tailor-made for him.

...It is basically tailor-made.

Thinking of this, Dazai faintly felt jealousy towards that person, and his breathing fluttered.

"Sorry, did I try too hard?"

Dazai's subtle changes were noticed by the massager, and he carefully asked questions.

Dazai closed his eyes and said, "It's okay, it's fine."

The opponent no longer responded, focusing on the changes in the technique and strength of his hand.

Dazai was so uncomfortable that he almost sighed.He finally figured out why Mr. Qiu said that his lover "wouldn't be jealous".

Think for a second.

Suppose he is Mr. Qiu's lover, he will say to Mr. Qiu, "I won't be petty and jealous", and secretly make another person who enjoys this service disappear forever-so he really doesn't mind.

If the other party has a special status and cannot be driven away, it depends on Mr. Qiu's performance: Mr. Qiu will definitely make the other party feel his deep affection for his lover.This feeling will make all those who long for love go crazy with envy and feel deep self-pity.

The other party will definitely understand that even if he is treated with kindness by Mr. Qiu for a while, he will never be able to get Mr. Qiu's love.

Tsk, how miserable.

People who have received favors are so pitiful, how can it be worthwhile for Mr. Qiu's lover to be jealous of him.

Dazai was overwhelmed by his own analysis. If he publishes a book as an emotional expert, it will be a bestseller all over Japan.

Mr. Qiu didn't know about this whole complicated inner monologue, and he was still concentrating on massaging Dazai.

Dazai pretended to be sleepy, and asked, "Mr. Qiu... tell me the story between you and your lover." As if he wanted to listen to a bedtime story.

He is in a spiritual confrontation with that person separated by space and time, and only by knowing oneself and the enemy can one be victorious in all battles.

"My lover?" Aki Takeshita repeated.

Dazai: "Yes."

"Do you really want to know?" Takeshita Akira confirmed again, he was not sure what Dazai's intention was.

"Say it, talk it up." Dazai urged him.

"……All right."

So the evening story will kick off with Mr. Qiu's promise.

Dazai: "When did you meet each other?"

Takeshita Akira: "When I was very young."

Dazai wanted to ask when exactly, but held back the next moment.Time will tell him the answer.

Dazai: "It must have been a romantic encounter."

Takeshita Akira: "On the contrary, his first impression of me was terrible."

What "a stray puppy", "dirty and stupid", Mr. Dazai's evaluation of him at that time really made the listeners cry when they heard it.

Dazai: "Pfft."

Takeshita Akira: "If you want to listen to it, don't gloat."

Dazai said perfunctorily, "Yeah, let's continue."

"At first he treated me very badly. But it wasn't all his fault. I was... quite unpopular then."

"When I was young, he was always fierce to me, which made me afraid to talk to him. For this reason, I even consulted his friends."

Takeshita Qiu said with a smile: "It's too stupid." He shook his head while talking.

Dazai: "Then why do you still like him?"

This question has been asked too many times by Akira Takeshita, only this time he answered the most cautiously: "Because he is worth it. Without him, I will live in ignorance until I die."

Dazai fell silent inexplicably.

……

"We expressed our hearts to each other on a beautiful, vast sea; and on a night when fireworks were in full bloom, he said the words 'I love you' to me."

"I, love, you?" Dazai murmured.

"Yes."

"you love him?"

"I love him." Akira Takeshita repeated in a soft but firm voice, "It's more important than my life."

"He also... loves you?"

From Takeshita Aki's point of view, when the young man asked this question, his expression was almost blank, as if it was something he couldn't understand no matter what.

"Under normal circumstances, I cannot answer for him."

Aki Takeshita still had a gentle voice, "But if you must know, I think, yes."

"Has he ever committed suicide?"

Dazai suddenly asked an irrelevant question.

Takeshita Qiu said: "He doesn't commit suicide."

Dazai was silent for a long time.

He repeatedly chewed the phrase "he didn't commit suicide", and a nameless fire rose in his heart. He didn't know whether he was angry with himself or someone else.There is deep sorrow in this anger, as well as hatred and jealousy that cannot be ignored.

"Oh." Dazai snorted heavily.

They knew who they were talking about, but they played charades tacitly, and no one was willing to lift the last veil.

"Aki-san grew up in Yokohama, too?"

"Correct."

"Where's your lover?"

"So is he."

"What a coincidence, me too."

"Yeah, what a coincidence."

silence.

"It's kind of like two crap baskets going back and forth."

"This is too poisonous."

"Did I said wrong thing?"

"True. But sometimes bullshit is necessary for human interaction."

"What about such nonsense as Wei Wei Wei Wei?"

"If you don't mind wasting your mouth, of course you can."

"Mr. Qiu is really humorous."

"Not as good as Dazai-kun."

"Every time he chats with his partner, he always has a face like 'When will you shut up if you can't continue talking', it's really distressing."

"Then change your chat partner."

"Like you?"

"like me."

"The response was fluent. Applause."

As expected of Mr. Qiu who can talk about love with him.

"Ah."

Akira Takeshita smiled.

"Where is the sea where you express your feelings to each other?"

Dazai asked suddenly, as if he was suddenly checking the authenticity of the confession during the torture.

Akira Takeshita was not afraid of his return carbine: "It's hard to tell, it's far, far away. If you want to go, I can take you there."

Aki Takeshita just said casually, but Dazai replied, "Okay, when?"

They have lived together for more than a month.It's autumn, and Takeshita Qiu doesn't know if he can stay until the next season.

"We'll go to the beach when it's winter." Takeshita Akira said, if he can wait until then.

When Dazai heard this, his eyes twinkled slightly, and a sly smile hung on the corner of his mouth.

"Did you know that in a book, a teenager dare not kiss the angel in front of him, but use this sentence instead."

"...Is that so." Takeshita Qiu was taken aback.Then he also smiled, and said softly, "It's quite romantic."

"Mr. Qiu, what hope is there for a person to live?"

"There is still hope, such as eating potato stew tomorrow. And the new restaurant in the south is good, and the curry rice is very spicy."

"Cut... secretly changing the concept."

"I'm serious, you can try the curry rice in that restaurant." You will go there often in the future, with a friend.

"..."

Zhu Xiaqiu paused for a moment, and said again: "I heard others say that people live for themselves."

Dazai asked, "What do you mean?"

"That's what I heard from others." Can't explain why.

After all, Mr. Aki is not a universal answering machine or Oda Sakunosuke. Even if 24-year-old Dazai asks him the question of "the hope of life", he will have no answer.

Dazai stared at the ceiling without blinking.Akira Takeshita rubbed his hands to warm them and covered his eyes.

"Sleep if you're sleepy." He coaxed.

The result of the massage is nothing more than two kinds, either Dazai is drowsy until he falls asleep during Takeshita Aki's massage, or Takeshita Aki is tired and goes directly to bed and falls asleep next to Dazai.When they sleep together, both will sleep deeply.

The situation today is the former.

Dazai's chaotic mood calmed down under Akira Takeshita's comfort, and his breathing gradually became steady.

Akira Takeshita's slender fingers deftly ran through the boy's curly hair, undoing the bandages layer by layer, revealing the clear eyebrows and eyes underneath.

The sleeping boy is as beautiful as an angel.

Akira Takeshita's fingertips trembled.

Facing this familiar face, Aki Takeshita is often in a daze, wondering if the past has happened again.

The ghost was born with the abyss, and he waited for many years on the edge of the abyss, until the cloud was cleared, and the other party was willing to believe that he would not and did not want to leave.

When he came back and faced his 15-year-old lover—no, he can’t be called a lover at this time—15-year-old Dazai, his disregard for life shocked Takeshita Akira, whether it was the lives of others or his own.

There was nothing reproachful about his surprise, as he had been.Aki Takeshita just understood one thing more deeply: he and Dazai have changed in these years.

Trying to stop Dazai from committing suicide again is exhausting.

However, what made him blame himself was not Dazai's suicide, but that he once again watched Dazai's pain in his youth, but he was also powerless.

Mr. Qiu always has a touch of sadness when he came to this world, and this is the reason.

Looking at the boy's sleeping face, those related to him gazing and companionship, chasing and arguing, probing and persuading, parting and reunion, all kinds of images flashed back in Mr. Qiu's mind.

Osamu Dazai's smile, Osamu Dazai's cold eyes, Osamu Dazai's sadness, Osamu Dazai's joy, Osamu Dazai's loneliness, Osamu Dazai's danger, Osamu Dazai's hope, Osamu Dazai's confusion about "suicide" with him in the lonely night .

The 15-year-old Dazai-kun or the 24-year-old Mr. Dazai are all Dazai rulers after all.

Aki Takeshita loves Osamu Dazai to the core.

All revolving doors are extinguished.

What was left clearly in front of Mr. Qiu was the angelic boy sleeping peacefully on the pillow.

"...A teenager who dare not kiss the angel in front of him uses this sentence instead."

An impulse drove Aki Takeshita to bend down.However, the closer he got, the slower he approached.

Slowly and slowly, Takeshita Qiu's lips pressed a kiss on the young man's forehead.

The touch of a dragonfly on the water is like rain falling on the surface of a stream, gently swaying away.It seems to be the piety of the believer's lifelong belief, and the pity and love of endless sadness.

"I love him."

"Love you too."

Takeshita Qiu said silently in his heart.

"There is a visitor from another world who dare not say goodbye to you, but uses this kiss instead."

"please forgive me."

Dazai fell asleep with his eyes closed, breathing evenly.

The night fell in the sound of two people's breathing, and no one stayed.