my you

"He used a ballpoint pen and pierced his own throat."

Lu Ding huddled in the corner of the single bed, listening dully to Teacher Yang's words.

"It was too late."

"Ah."

"I can't understand the relationship between you two," Teacher Yang paused, "The people over there are more or less because they are greedy for each other's bodies, but you...have you really never done it?"

Lu Ding shook his head, "No. I thought, if he gave me his body and mind, if he had to marry another girl in the future, wouldn't there be nothing to give to her, and I would regret it."

"Take care of yourself, he is protecting you."

"Really?" Lu Ding stroked the safety button on his chest with his fingers, "Who wants such stupid protection from him. Even if my parents know that I like him, so what? At worst, they will send me to live next door for half a year... ..."

"Lu Ding," Teacher Yang frowned, "Fang Sheng is the one who knows what's going on over there the most. Do you think the pain he experienced will make you feel it again? Now that things are like this, you still want to Broken pot, broken, are you really worthy of him?"

"Is he worthy of me if he committed suicide?" Lu Ding suppressed the sore throat, "Fucking idiot, when he did this, his brain was muddled."

"What your parents mean is that they still want you to spend the remaining four months."

"Come on, where is it?"

"Go to bed after taking the medicine," Teacher Yang still put a handful of candy on his table, "It will take a long time, and you will forget it slowly."

Lu Ding sat on the toilet, looking down at his toes.

Fang is dead.

He just sat there like this, tears streaming down unconsciously, dripping on his clothes, dripping on his exposed knees, it was icy cold, which made him shiver.

In such a hot weather in August, he actually felt cold.

Lu Ding folded his arms, trembling uncontrollably.At first, his hands were shaking a little, and he couldn't hold the roll of paper. The white roll of paper rolled out of his hand and scattered all over the floor.

The trembling spread to the whole body.

Then from the slight shaking at the beginning, to the big shaking of the whole person.

The bangs on the forehead have been swaying so that people can't see the trajectory clearly.

He held his breath, not daring to cry out.

If he cried out, Fang Sheng would definitely laugh at him when he saw it.

His vision began to blur, his heart throbbed, his breathing rhythm was disturbed, and his brain began to lack oxygen.

I want to control myself, but I just can't control it.

"Stop shaking."

The body was still trembling involuntarily.

Lu Ding slapped himself on the face, "I told you not to shake! Why are you shaking?"

He huddled himself into a ball, his face buried in the protective shell of bent arms.

The hypoxia continues.

The desire to survive forced him to gasp for breath.

Take another breath.

Just one bite.

Suddenly a gust of fresh air poured into his lungs, choking him so much that he began to cough uncontrollably.

"Lu Ding!"

"Can you speak?"

Throat dry to uncomfortable.

Lu Ding got up from the toilet, as if he couldn't see anyone beside him, he stood by the sink and took two sips of tap water.

This time not only did not relieve the uncomfortable dry cough, but made his stomach freeze for a while.

My head also started to swell and hurt, and there was a throbbing around my temples.

His scalp was numb, and the numbness and pain quickly spread to his cheeks, then to his arms and hands, then to his legs and feet.

My eyes were so crying that I couldn't open them, and my palms were sweaty.

"Are you lying to me?" Lu Ding casually grabbed the arm of the person next to him, "How could Fang Sheng die? He must not be dead! He is not dead! He will not die! You lied to me!"

Lie to me!

He is not dead!

Probably because of the violent cough just now, Lu Ding's voice was hoarse, and his roar gradually turned into a low sob.

He didn't believe it.

Unless you see Fang Sheng's body with your own eyes.

Otherwise, he would never believe it.

"doctor!"

Lu Ding vaguely saw the surname Han running over with a medicine box and injecting something into his arm.

It's a sedative.

right.

He's definitely looking like a lunatic now.

So what's the point?

He fell asleep, and the surroundings returned to peace.

In the dream, I saw a figure walking against the light, and the dark brown face with bright eyes.

He should stop kidding himself.

The warm sun in Lu Ding's heart has set.

Lu Ding woke up once in the middle of the night and couldn't fall asleep again.

The spasm and pain in the chest became more and more clear in the middle of the night.

Lu Ding got up from the bed, walked around the ground twice with his bare feet, and after confirming his position, he knelt down on soft knees.

"Snapped!"

Crisp slaps sounded, one after another.

"I used to be so smart as to give white chrysanthemums!"

"Snapped!"

"When we were together with Fang Sheng, we had a fart fight."

"Snapped!"

"How many hurtful things have you said to Fang Sheng in the past two days!"

"Snapped!"

……

That face was swollen badly, and in the end Lu Ding couldn't feel the pain anymore, but the place where he slapped was hot and numb.

He headed in the direction of Fang Sheng's dormitory and smashed his head on the wall in front of him.

Again and again, without stopping.

"I'm sorry."

"I killed you."

"I regret."

"It's my selfish wish to be with you forever."

"I love you."

Lu Ding came out of the small black room where he stayed for six months. At the end of November, when it was the coldest time, he stood on the ground covered with a thin layer of snow in a thin shirt, but he didn't feel it at all. cold.

He raised his head to look at the snowflakes falling in the air, and gave a soft "Huh?"

Why is there no sun?

He stood at the door of the treatment center, staring blankly at the parents and sister who came to pick him up.

There is no longer light in his eyes, just like everyone living here, living mechanically every day, and just living.

During the period after returning home, Lu Xiao was the first to notice that something was wrong with Lu Ding.

At that time, when she heard that Lu Ding was sent to that messy treatment center, she made a fuss, but her parents still thought she was right and insisted not to take Lu Ding back.

Lu Xiao planned to go by himself, but was forced by his parents to put him on the plane back to Shanghai.

Fortunately, Lu Ding is quite normal during the day, except for being a little dazed, he can do whatever he is asked to do.

The first time she found out that something was wrong with Lu Ding was because one night when she got up to pour water, she saw that the lights in Lu Ding's room were still on, and there were small rustling sounds.

She pushed open the door and saw Lu Ding curled up in a corner wrapped in a quilt, his eyes fixed on a corner. From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Lu Xiao approaching, waving his hand to hit someone without thinking.

Who knows how long he's been in this state.

Lu Xiao himself is a doctor who treats mental illness, so he felt that something was wrong at the first time. When he was about to send Lu Ding to the hospital, he was stopped by his parents, saying that Lu Ding hadn't been at home for a long time, and it would be better if he waited a few days.

The next morning, seeing Lu Ding's normal appearance, Lu Xiao frowned even more, and called An Shaowen over.

An Shaowen also felt that something was wrong, so he pulled Lu Ding into his room.

First, he said that their team had already won the championship of the college league, but Lu Ding didn't respond.

Later, when An Shaowen said that he wanted to drag Lu Ding to the Internet cafe to find Yu Zhang to play games, Lu Ding was shaking like a sieve.

An Shaowen narrowed his eyes and tried to ask him about Fang Sheng, but Lu Ding directly covered his head and shouted the pain, which startled the three people in the living room.

When he left, he shook his head at Lu Xiao.

At the beginning of December, Xingchuan University specially arranged an entrance examination for Lu Ding. If his grades are good, he will continue to follow the class. If he is not good, he will take classes with the next class.

But he got a single digit for a perfect score of [-].

This result was beyond everyone's expectations, especially Liu Xiaoxia.She clearly saw that Lu Ding sketched and took a lot of notes on the textbook, and according to Lu Ding's sensitivity to mathematics, he would never get such a result no matter what.

His parents beat him up because of this, thinking he did it on purpose, but the teacher at the school said he didn't look like it, and suggested taking Lu Ding for a psychiatric appraisal.

The final result showed that Lu Ding was already moderately mentally disabled and could no longer continue to study at Xingchuan University, so the school directly handled the withdrawal procedures for him.

Lu Xiao pulled Lu Ding and stood aside, looking at his parents coldly.

"This is the result you want."

"It's just a little schizophrenic. It's not as serious as the doctor said, and it's moderately disabled..."

The corner of Lu Xiao's mouth twitched, "Mom, I'm also a doctor, and I know best how serious Dingding is."

Liu Xiaoxia muttered, "Maybe one day I'll be fine."

"I want to take Dingding to Shanghai."

"What do you mean?"

"Dad, Mom," Lu Xiao closed his eyes, and opened them after a while, "It's been so many years, you should have taken care of it enough, it must be like this, isn't it all caused by you? If you still want him This son, if you want me as a girl, let me take Dingding to Shanghai for treatment. My intern tutor is an expert in this field and can always find ways to improve Dingding's situation. But if you insist on dragging his illness , maybe it will be more serious, and if he does something..., he can be judged not to be criminally responsible according to the law."

"Sister," Lu Ding gently tugged at Lu Xiao's sleeve, "I'm hungry."

Lu Xiao glanced at him, then looked at his parents again, "What do you think?"

"Okay." Father Lu stood up and sighed helplessly, "Let's go."

Lu Ding didn't bring much luggage, a skateboard that looked relatively new, a square box, a pair of cotton trousers and a diary.

When approaching the house that Lu Xiao rented, Lu Ding suddenly stood still.

Lu Xiao turned around and saw Lu Ding staring at a boy playing the piano on the street motionless.

"Sure, what's wrong?"

"Sister," Lu Ding pointed to the piano not far away, "I want that too."

Lu Xiao really didn't really want to agree to Lu Ding.One is because she rented a house cheaply, and she didn’t rent a big one. The second is because a good piano is expensive. If she continues to learn, the tuition fee is not a small expense, and she has to pay for the living expenses of two people. It would be nice to have a fixed treatment fee with Lu, and it would be nice to be able to make ends meet.

"Sister." Lu Ding blinked and looked at him.

Lu Xiao glanced at the piano again, "Okay, after you buy it, learn it hard, and if you can't learn it well, I'll beat you up."

"Understood." Lu Ding smiled and took Lu Xiao's arm. The big man, about 1.8 meters tall, jumped up and down happily like a child.

Lu Xiao sold a lot of skirts, and almost emptied more than half of his wardrobe.

Regardless of whether it was a few hundred or tens of thousands of skirts, they were all sold at a discount, and they bought a pretty good piano for Lu Ding.

She watched the dark piano being moved into the house, which was out of place with this humble house.

But as long as Lu Ding is happy and her condition can be controlled, she will be happy.

According to Lu Ding's musical attainments, Lu Xiao would be very satisfied if he could play a little star or something.

What will happen to your life in the future, let's leave it for later to think about it.