Hedgehog

Ji Rongfu is really good at self-restraint, he didn't directly open the floor-to-ceiling windows and throw me out.

So I just slipped out while he was changing and took a taxi home.That's what I am, proficient in all kinds of ways to leave without saying goodbye.

I used to be a little psychopathic for a while. I suffered from insomnia all night long. I often turned on the TV to watch late-night emotional programs on local TV stations. I watched all kinds of people struggling at the bottom of society cry on the programs, "He doesn't love me anymore" "She cheated on me" "He hits me all day and I still can't do without him", the central idea of ​​this program can be summed up in one sentence, it is called: No matter how stupid people are, they have sex.

Human nature seems to be inherently cheap. When many people fall in love with someone, they seem to give up their brains. No matter how bad others treat them, they can't make up their minds to leave.Although I'm not that stupid, I feel sorry for it.

Falling in love is a high-risk thing with no rewards. The smarter the person, the more pitiful they will be at this time, because they are clearly aware of the consequences, but they still go forward.The person I respect the most in Huatian is actually Ye Xiao, a real genius, as smart as a fox.However, every time Nie Jing had a new scandal with someone, the light in his eyes dimmed like a barometer.

The matter of liking someone is actually cutting open one's own chest, taking out one's heart, and handing over one's hands to others, how will others treat them, treat them as treasures or discard them like trash, hold them in their hands or crush them with their feet , are things out of your control.

A little bit of luck, the love between the two is just icing on the cake.In case of winning the first prize, Mingzhu casts secretly, but the consequences will be devastating.

I don't do finance like Ji Rongfu, but I also understand that the risk-benefit ratio is not worth it.

But the reason is the reason, as strict as iron stone, involving Ji Rongfu, the way he smiles, the light in his eyes, the breath and heartbeat that can be easily touched in the last second, like plants growing out of the cracks in the stone, everything is in harmony. Come alive.

I didn't know how to choose, so I just walked away.

"parking."

I got out of the car in front of the big patch of roses. After a rain, a lot of flowers fell. In fact, there is nothing to see here during the day. The leaves are covered with dust, and there are sewage stalls on the ground. The good memory of last night It's more like an illusion, just like recalling that my alma mater has its own soft light filter after graduation.

I continued to walk forward, the city was a little dull in the afternoon, it was getting dark, the guy playing the guitar was singing there again last night, the piano case was in front of him, and there were a few banknotes scattered inside, probably enough for him Take a bus back and forth.

I walked past him and he looked up at me and continued to sing his sour ballad half dead.

I took two steps, then turned around suddenly, and walked in front of him.

"Guitar."

He was stunned, he looked younger recently, the age of college, with a soft beard on his lips, thin and dirty, and the collar of his T-shirt was as old as dried fungus.

I said it again: "Guitar!"

He literally turned over the guitar.

He is so poor that he still dares to play Gibson. This piano is almost tens of thousands, so he is lucky not to die of poverty.

I took the guitar and started to play Yuan Rui's pieces, playing the fingers, strumming, palmmute, playing the rock passages that flashed through my mind, and playing Eric Clapton's Solo that I have heard thousands of times...

People passing by were taken aback, probably thinking I was a lunatic, and the guitarist could hear the skills I used, and his face was stunned.

Then I gave him the guitar back, took all the money out of my pants pocket, and threw it into his case.

"This is the money you can earn from music in your life." I told him calmly: "You play rubbish, and your singing is worse than crying. Go back to your hometown and find a good girl to marry."

Then I kept walking until I heard the young man's voice in disbelief.

"Lin Sui?"

I had a hunch what was going to happen, but I turned around and saw the young man chasing after me with a look of surprise on his face.

"It's really you, Lin Sui, I'm your fan!" The young man ran after me without even looking, and looked at me excitedly, his eyes seemed to be on fire, and then he looked at me in surprise I, said that sentence I don't want to hear the second time in my life.

He said: "It is because of you that I embarked on the road of music."

I sat on the side of the street and used the coin-operated public phone to call Su Ying.

I got the money back from the young man's piano case, and he wished he could give me the guitar. It's really generous, no wonder he's so poor.

It took Su Ying a long time to pick up, and it seemed very noisy over there.

"Hello? Who is it?" She probably thought it was some director group who called him, and her tone was as sweet as honey: "I'm Su Ying, what can I do?"

"I'm on Poplar Street, pick me up at three in the morning."

Su Ying wouldn't let me hang up the phone.

"Wait, why are you going there? I can't leave now," she said in a tone: "I'm on the set, and it was recommended to me by Lu Yan. I won't finish work until half an hour later. Said to invite me to dinner after filming..."

"Really, he is too hungry."

Su Ying's voice stopped abruptly, and after a few seconds, she asked cautiously, "Are you drinking again? Lin Sui..."

I hung up the phone.

I didn't want to drink, and I didn't want to go home. I walked slowly along the street. The street was warm from the sun. I found a tree and sat under it, like a homeless man curled up in a ball.It is said that there is a star in Hollywood who also likes being a homeless person. In fact, there are many benefits to this. A homeless person is a person outside the society. When you sleep on the street, you will feel that the world has nothing to do with you, and you don’t need anything. Think about it, don't worry about it, this feeling is too wonderful.

I even leaned against the tree and fell asleep. There are many tiny seeds on the bark of the poplar tree, like a kind of round pear I ate at my grandma's house when I was a child, and I had to peel it to eat it.I remember when I was eating pears, my grandma told me a story, saying that she gave birth to seven children. Once, when she got an apple, she peeled off the skin and cut the flesh into seven parts, each of which was as small as an orange segment.She said that she ate the skin of the apple herself, the skin of the apple is so sweet...

Ji Rongfu told me that there are all living beings and that our souls are equal.

How are our souls equal?Even the skin of an apple is so sweet to me.

I woke up and saw Lu Yan.

His car was parked on the side of the road, perhaps for a long time.He was wearing a mask, a hat, a baggy black T-shirt, and jeans. He was sitting next to me. He was probably quite tired, with only a pair of narrow eyes half-drooped, but they still had a special sense of sharpness.It looks like a psycho murderer staring at a homeless man.

Sure enough, Su Ying told him anyway.

"Morning." I greeted him and looked around: "Guess, if I say that Lu Yan is here, how many people will gather around."

He grabbed my upraised hand.

"Don't make trouble, come back with me."

His hands were very strong, and he dragged me into the car directly, and tied me up with a seat belt. He probably smelled the dirt on my body, and his face darkened.There are too many ironies in this world. Lu Yan, who is obsessed with cleanliness, just likes Ji Luo's family who steals food behind his back.

He was driving pretty steady, and I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed over the seat to rummage.The back seat was empty, Lu Yan dragged me back and pulled over to stop the car.

"What are you looking for?" The lights in the car were very bright, and he looked at me coldly with deep eyebrows. I suddenly thought that he could play a detective or something, because he always gave people a feeling of being judged when his face was downcast. a feeling of.

I looked at him and suddenly smiled.

"I want to throw something, is there anything I can throw?"

He frowned, as if he didn't give it.

I pushed open the door and got out of the car.

Lu Yan also chased after me, the street lights were pale, he was wearing a mask and hat, only showing dark eyebrows, followed me silently.This section of the road is under construction recently. The construction section is separated by a green iron sheet on the left, and the unfinished community is on the right. It gets darker and darker as I walk for a while. I turned around and looked at Lu Yan.

He also looked at me silently, the light of the street lamp shone on his shoulder, and we faced each other like two lunatics.

People in this world are so strange. In the past seven years, there may have been a second when we wanted exactly the same thing. In that second, we may all get what we want.But no one said anything, and no one did anything, and finally today, they still acted like they regretted it.It is better to say that they are smart people than two idiots. At least the idiots don't think too much, and they don't feel regretful.

There is fine sand on the road under my feet, and it’s already getting cold at night. There are little lights on the building pendant towers in the community like floating bridges on water. Lu Yan’s eyes are hidden in the shadow of the brim of his hat, but I know him looking at me.

For a moment, I seemed to have something to say.

But Lu Yan's cell phone rang.

He reacted almost instantly, picked up the phone, and said "Hi", as if something was being said there, he agreed, and then said, "I shouldn't be going back tonight."

It's not the agent, it's Ji Luo's family.

I continued walking, and Lu Yan disappeared. I knew he would not give up so easily. Sure enough, after walking for a while, his car drove up and followed me slowly. This car should not belong to him. Lu Yan likes it Things have a commonality, not too ostentatious, but they are all good things that can be seen at a glance. If he is not a star, he is also good as a collector. He is the kind of person who likes beautiful jade and porcelain. A delicate balance has been achieved. It is not unreasonable for him to be the leader among young male stars in the industry.

It's a pity that I have already met Ji Rongfu.

This comparison is not too fair, both to Lu Yan and to me.Ji Rongfu may also think that I am inexplicable, but it doesn't matter, it will pass soon.

After all, I met Fu Yong in his house.

It's not the first time that Lu Yan knows that he can't beat me.

When this section of the road was about to end, there was a busy city in front of him, and there were already noises coming, so he finally stopped the car.Take a pair of speakers from the car and give them to me. Red oak splicing boards fell on the ground. The first hit was okay, but it cracked after two hits. There was a crack in the wood, exposing the speakers and wires inside. Then grab it and hit it on the wall, the broken wood and metal are all splashed, which is pretty nice.

After dropping both speakers, I went back to the car and put on my seat belt.

"The speaker money will be transferred back to you."

"no need."

He said this, and he still didn't speak when he arrived at my house.

He came to my house more than once, and he was familiar with parking. I took out the key from my jeans pocket and climbed up the stairs. Lu Yan seemed to follow me. I climbed to the sixth floor. When I opened the door, he followed in silently.

I started undressing in the living room, showered, and went into the room.I slept during the day, and I am not sleepy now. I sat on the rug in the cloakroom for a while, took down the CDs that were most accessible on the shelf, put them in a camera bag, lifted the bag, and walked out. bedroom.

"Here you are." I threw the bag on the sofa: "The CD you want."

Lu Yan opened the bag: "Give me the DSLR too?"

"I don't know how to take pictures, so I'll leave it to you." I couldn't help myself, but I still said cheaply: "I heard that Leman likes photography very much, you can discuss it."

In fact, the one who really likes photography is an old director of Huatian. The old man has high artistic attainments, and the photos of actresses he took are much better than Du Xiaogang's AV movies.It's a pity that Yin Xi has been mediating in the middle, and not much has flowed out.

Lu Yan looks at the CD face-to-face like unwrapping presents at Christmas. In fact, most of them are jazz. There is an album by Queen. I like to use bass in the arrangement for a while. They have used the bass in "you'remybestfriend" good.Later, I found out that a producer listened to the demo with a mobile phone headset, which cured my obsession with bass.

I went to the bedroom and found a CD player and threw it to him. He probably hasn't listened to CDs for a long time. After all, he hasn't been a singer in these years, and he probably forgot what the recording studio looks like.Holding the new CD player to find the button, I sent the Buddha to the West, and I simply squatted down in front of him and taught him how to use it. The temperature dropped in the middle of the night, and the wind outside made the sycamore trees ring.Everything was silent in the room, except for the sound of me fiddling with the CD player.

Lu Yan sat in front of me, we were so close that we could almost hear his breathing.When I was young, because I had nothing, I was very timid. I regarded him as a scourge and hid when I saw him.A person like me, who has nothing but selfishness, will naturally not indulge himself to like someone, let alone put him higher than himself.

But I have been hiding for many years, except for a little illusory sense of security and a story that cannot be mentioned, nothing else. I did not become the person I wanted to be, and he probably did not either.

Two wise men.

Live up to the good times for nothing.

I never thought before, what kind of story would it be if I took it when he smiled and praised my name in front of the bonfire that day.

So where would we be today?

In any case, at least it won't be as close as it is now, but it's like being separated by the Milky Way.

I don't think it's a pity, the feelings in this world are just like this, young people, beautiful skins, exchanging a smile in a just right atmosphere, going down, if one party refuses, they will immediately change another party, isn't it? When making a TV series, the mountains have no edges and the sky and the earth are in harmony.There is no one in this world who is missing and cannot live, and feelings are cultivated over time.

It's just Ji Rongsu...

Where will Ji Rongfu and I be seven years from now?

Songs came out from the speakers. Lu Yan hadn’t sung for several years, but his taste in listening to music was not bad. The first thing he played was a CD by Nie Xingqiu. In fact, many songs in Hong Kong were good in the early years, because the talented people of that generation were not old yet, and the lyrics were all written. It has to be like a poem, and this drunk dream book is it.The melody is not outdated, and the level is richer than many pop songs now. Good songs have a sense of imagery. This song often reminds me of the ferry in late autumn.The reeds turned silvery white, the dark wooden bridge at the ferry, the pillars were soaked in water, the dark wooden planks were covered with hoarfrost, and there were messy footprints.Probably because this song is the theme song of "The Butterfly Lovers", in fact, others think it sounds very charming, anyway, I am a freak.

In that split second, I thought of my own song.

Many people don’t believe it. In fact, when I write songs, I forget them as soon as I write them. The better the songs, the faster I forget them.

I ran into the bedroom so anxiously that Lu Yan probably thought something was wrong and followed me in.

I flipped through the sheet music in that pile of waste paper.

Turning over one by one, the writing is really good, I can see the clear prototype step by step, and I am full of shock, probably my brain is really broken, I didn’t remember where I put the things after looking through them for a long time, the waste paper was thrown away Land, Lu Yan followed quietly to pick it up.

I glanced at the bed on the other side of the room, thought about it, rushed over, found the DEMO under the pillow, put on the earphones and started listening, and checked the score while listening.

There are only two lines in the lyrics, most of which are humming, but the rhythm is really good. It is very suitable for writing love songs when the sperm is on the brain. I can’t write such a good song now. The melody is like being entangled with spider silk. , when people listen to it, the corners of their mouths turn up unconsciously. When I listen to this song, I think of the roses on the whole wall, the windy night, and Ji Rongfu's smiling amber eyes.

The lyrics of this song will probably have to wait for Bai Yu to fill in, or Chen Jing.The lyrics of love songs are not easy to fill in, and if one is not good, it will be boring. Among the listeners all over the world, China probably values ​​the lyrics the most. They all say that the lyrics of American country are important, and the first song is like a narrative poem.In fact, there are many independent musicians in China, who are very niche, and what they sell is just a lyrics, and the melody is like talking in sleep.The composer is often not well-known as the lyricist.

It's a pity that Chen Jing doesn't fill in the lyrics now. He is the king of singers now, and Bai Yu fills in all his own songs, let alone answering other people's songs.And Bai Yu is more suitable for writing about the regrets that you can't get, not for this kind of love song.In the song "Empty Joy" he filled in for Chen Jing, the chorus repeatedly hummed "Thank you, thank you, allow me an empty joy." The filling was very good.

I listened to it twice, put away my things, and was about to find a time to send it anonymously to Bai Yu, when I looked up, I saw Lu Yan standing beside the pile of waste papers, reading some papers.

He is tall, and it is easy to have the feeling of being tall and tall. His dark brown hair is smeared back, with distinct strands, and his brow bones are high, so his eyes appear deep under the light. He looked up at me, as if to resolve embarrassment He forced a smile and boasted, "This song is very good."

Writing a song is like writing a book. It can reflect your heart more than what you say. To someone who understands it, it seems that your internal organs are spread out in front of him. This is a very scary thing.

"Really? I thought you couldn't read music anymore."

Lu Yan is really self-restraining, so he didn't throw the sheet music on my face.

In fact, I was guilty. I didn't want Lu Yan to understand this song. I felt like being caught on the spot. I already understood the song but couldn't express it. This kind of atmosphere was too embarrassing.

Instead of hitting me, he lowered his head, smoothed out the folds on the sheet music slowly and restrainedly, folded them neatly, and placed them lightly by my legs.

The moment he played the score sideways, my breath missed from the side of my face. It was still the same person and eyes seven years ago, but unfortunately the smile was gone.

He put the score down and went out, and I heard him close the door.

Lu Yan and I are the same kind, but they are two extremes. A long time ago, but after we made a clear distinction, there was an interview, let the top five of us evaluate each other, he smiled in front of the camera, and said half-jokingly and half-seriously: " Lin Sui, in fact, sometimes you don't need to be like a hedgehog."

I laughed too, and said, "Won't I be a hedgehog one day?"

In fact, I am not like a hedgehog. Hedgehogs are much friendlier than me. Hedgehogs will shrink into a ball when they are attacked.I'm more like a porcupine, ramming people with thorns all over my body at every turn. There is no living thing in half a radius, and I am completely clean.

I'm used to being alone, and I even started to enjoy being alone. I checked the house routinely and found that Lu Yan really took the DSLR with him. It's really rare, he is such a principled person.

I used to be young, and I felt that our story was over at every turn. In fact, this circle is so big, there is no end, and the day after tomorrow I will record the X League. In private, no matter what, I still have to be teammates in front of the camera as before.Our story isn't over, it's just getting rotten.Just like those audiences who always regret that there is no sequel to their beloved movie, in fact, it is a real pity to film them a long and bloody second part.