Ambiguous addiction

At three o'clock in the middle of the night, Ye Xi woke up suddenly in his sleep. He felt a cool breeze on his face. He slowly opened his eyes. The bedside lamp was turned on, but the light was captured by the person lying beside him. Blocked more than half.

"Why did you wake up? Is the light too dazzling?" Lu Churan's voice came from the top of his head, and he pressed his face to his chest to block out more light, holding a book in his hand The magazine gently fanned him.

"Why are you staying up so late?" Ye Xi rubbed his eyes, stretched out his arms to wrap around Lu Churan's waist.

"I was woken up by mosquitoes. Autumn is the peak breeding season for mosquitoes. I don't know how they flew up to more than ten floors. Maybe they took the elevator up with someone." Lu Churan said, pulling up the quilt to cover Ye Xi hugged his arm, "I wanted to hit it but I couldn't hit it, it kept circling around my ears, so I turned on the light to see where it is. You go on sleeping, I will sleep when I drive it away."

"En." Ye Xi responded, but didn't close his eyes, raised his face and looked at Lu Churan's chin with dark eyes, "You are so kind to me, you don't sleep just to drive away mosquitoes for me."

"Don't be moved and cry, I'm just worried that when it bites your face, I can only slap you." Lu Churan's voice was low and soft, and he couldn't help laughing, "Shh, go to sleep, stop talking , it’s hard to fall asleep when you’re fully awake.”

"It bit you here." Ye Xi ignored Lu Churan's words, and touched the red and swollen little bag on his arm that was bitten by mosquitoes with his fingers, "Do you want me to disinfect you with some saliva?"

"Don't make trouble, it's disgusting, don't." Lu Churan stuffed his hands back under the quilt.

"Lu Churan."

"Ok?"

"You opened so many skylights and replaced so many coffee grounds in my house, but I sold it, do you feel reluctant?"

"It's okay, and I don't have any special feelings. Are you reluctant?"

"I'm very willing." Ye Xi shook his head, ran his hand up the line of his arm, squeezed his shoulder, lingered on his beautifully shaped collarbone, and lowered his eyes in embarrassment to look at his eyes, "I originally I feel that I made a wrong decision to buy that house and move to this place because the days of living there were uncomfortable and I didn't have any good memories. But now I find that the result is good, that is... It’s because I can’t live there anymore, that’s why I stayed here and experienced what happened here, and then suddenly one night I woke up in a daze... When someone didn’t sleep and hugged me, Get rid of the mosquitoes for me." He probably fell asleep in the middle of the night, and everything that should be said or should not be said escaped from his mouth, "I am so happy."

Lu Churan couldn't tell whether this was a kind of confession, but he felt that Ye Xi was so cute when he stammered about the true feelings in his heart, so he couldn't help but bow his head and kiss him.

Ye Xi closed his eyes to accept this kiss as a reward, enjoying the treatment of being touched by Lu Churan's hair, feeling like a small animal being combed by its owner, so the drowsiness returned unconsciously, and it didn't take long He fell asleep again.

Lu Churan clearly felt that Ye Xi's every approach, every hug and kiss began to make him feel real. Although he knew that he couldn't say he liked him, and he didn't trust the relationship, But after the bond between the two fell to the freezing point, it began to warm up again. It was in the stage of constant heating up, and the speed of climbing was increasing every second.

A few days after the Mid-Autumn Festival, the National Day came again. During the National Day, Ye Xi participated in several class reunions, all of which were arranged during the day. In the evening, when the sun went down, he hurried to find Lu Churan for dinner, and he was going to bed before ten o'clock at night. Sleeping to catch up on sleep has suddenly become the routine of the elderly.

Every time he came back from a party, he was covered in cigarettes and alcohol. Lu Churan blocked him at the door and searched him. He didn't bring the cigarettes back before letting him in, which annoyed him with a headache. "Why did you become a teacher? You You should go to the airport as a drug dog."

Lu Churan was not angry when he said that, but still had that flat and indifferent face, "You can choose to go to the hotel to take a shower before coming back."

Ye Xi was choked for a few seconds, "You only give me a few hundred dollars a week, and you don't need to ask someone to borrow money when you pay the bill. How can I have the money to go to the hotel to take a shower?"

Lu Churan didn't know what to think of, and suddenly smiled, "It's pretty good."

Ye Xi was dumbfounded by his smile, and couldn't refute anything, so he could only nod along in a daze, "It's pretty good."

Lu Churan pulled him into the house, closed the door, and heard him ask behind him, "You don't smoke, and you don't like to drink, so what do you do during class reunions? Focus on eating food?"

"I seldom go to class reunions, and I don't go if I can. It's boring to reminisce about the past. It's all about the stupid things in the past, and others will remember your stupid things for you." Lu Churan said, "What's happening now I'm There is nothing to talk about with them, there are too few common topics.”

"Some people's experience and knowledge are also very interesting. You can also see how those little idiots grow into old idiots." Ye Xi stretched out his hand to hug him, but Lu Churan held him a few steps away. The people in the class don’t like me. Maybe I’m from a bad background and have a bad personality. They look down on me, but they don’t dare to bully me when I live in the class teacher’s house, so they isolate me. Now I go to the class reunion every year to enjoy it to the fullest. They have the expression of being slapped in the face. What are you doing, what's wrong with hugging?"

"Smelly." Lu Churan just said one word, and Ye Xi stomped his feet in anger.

"What about the middle school and high school reunion? You don't want to meet your ex to see how he's doing?"

Lu Churan looked normal, and helped him take off his clothes and threw them into the basket containing dirty clothes, "He seems to be abroad now, and he won't come to attend. There is nothing to see. It has nothing to do with me whether he is doing well or not." .”

Ye Xi instantly lost interest in inquiring, but felt that Lu Churan's almost ruthless indifference reassured him inexplicably, so she forcibly hugged him before taking the clothes to take a bath.

After the National Day holiday, Ye Xi continued to work overtime for a week until eleven o'clock in the evening every day. Sometimes Lu Churan would come to bring him dinner, and sometimes he would go to "tobecontinued" to find Lu Churan for dinner. Back to the company to work overtime.

At night, there is usually no one in the company by seven o'clock. Ye Xi doesn't like to be alone, but as long as he thinks that Lu Churan is on his way, the disgust in his heart will be replaced by anticipation in an instant.

His eyes were a little tired from staring at the screen for a long time. He played with his mobile phone for a while, looked through the chat records of group photos sent by his classmates, stretched in his seat, stood up and turned off the lights in other places in the office, leaving only himself The light at the position, the moment the light went out, I heard the sound of the elevator door opening, and when I turned around, the familiar figure had already arrived.

The second Lu Churan's eyes met Ye Xi, a slight smile appeared on his face, he approached him and glanced at his face, and then lightly kissed him, "Are you a cactus spirit?" , I don’t drink water all day long, and my lips are dry and white.”

Ye Xi smiled, wrapped his fingers and followed him back to the seat, "Then did you kiss me and tie my mouth?"

"It's pretty tight, I won't kiss in the future."

Lu Churan put the thermos box on Ye Xi's table, picked up Ye Xi's cup and went to the tea room to pour water for him.

Ye Xi didn't sit down, but followed Lu Churan step by step. He didn't want to look sticky like a big man, so he grabbed Lu Churan's clothes, with a natural smile in his eyes, and said in a serious tone. Tell him, "No."

Lu Churan turned back and stuffed the water glass into his hand, opened the insulated box, the smile on his face never restrained, "Mr. Ye Xi, are you acting like a spoiled child to me now?"

Ye Xi didn't say a word, leaned over and pouted, Lu Churan fixed his eyes on him for two seconds, was attracted by the unrestrained childishness on his face, relaxed inexplicably, bowed his head and kissed him in a good-tempered manner. With a smack of his lips, he whispered one centimeter away from his lips, "kid."

Ye Xi pulled Lu Churan back to his seat, and pulled the chair of the colleague next to him to sit on. He lowered his head and dug the rice, while Lu Churan watched him eat.

It was dark and quiet everywhere, Ye Xi felt that this atmosphere gave him an indescribable sense of comfort, his every gesture was within Lu Churan's line of sight, and there was a safe and intimate distance, so safe that they could not see each other. Disturbing the other person, yet so intimate that you can touch his fingers just by reaching out.

The phone vibrated in Lu Churan's trouser pocket, which broke the silence especially obviously. He opened the phone and checked the messages, and said to Ye Xi: "I can't come over tomorrow night, Qi Nian made an appointment with me to come to the store Are you coming to see me for dinner?"

Ye Xi paused with his chopsticks, raised his head with a slightly wary expression, "Why did he suddenly want to eat at your place?"

"Hmm." Lu Churan thought for a while, and answered calmly, "He's going to take the exam next week, so he wants me to tell him the classic exam questions again, so I can make up for the gaps. I have another class tomorrow morning. Let him come over in the afternoon and have dinner by the way, what's the matter? Do you want to come over tomorrow?"

Qi Nian must still like Lu Churan, it must be so.

Ye Xi pondered in his heart, shaking his head with his chopsticks still half-raised, "I can get things done tomorrow, and if it goes well, I can get home early from work, can't you make an appointment for another day?" Immediately, he felt very disgusted that his tone was like a little girl making trouble in front of her boyfriend, which made him feel bad, so he wanted to take it back, "I just want to say that I can't come tomorrow, can you change the time, otherwise I..." As he spoke, he began to feel awkward again, he frowned sullenly, and decided to tell the truth in his heart, "I think, I think he likes you, can you not be with him, be with him Let's meet alone." At the end, his tone dropped, with a bit of unnatural shyness.

"Are you jealous? Haha, why are you so cute?" Lu Churan stared, a little startled by Ye Xi's sudden appearance, and laughed haha. He stroked Ye Xi's hair and looked at his face. With an awkward expression, he felt that he was starting to be cared about, so he laughed at him casually, "He doesn't like me, don't just see everyone likes me if you like me."

Damn, you believed me so much when you were talking nonsense, but why didn't you believe me when you told the truth.

Ye Xi's eyes darkened, and with a sullen tone, he pushed his hand away and said coldly, "I don't like you."

Lu Churan's expression froze in an instant, Ye Xi realized that he had said something wrong, bit his tongue, hooked Lu Churan's fingers in annoyance and clenched them tightly, and defended himself incoherently, but the words in his heart were like a mess "I'm sorry, I, I didn't mean that, I didn't mean to say that I didn't treat you...I, I mean that Qi Nian treats you, treats you..."

"It's okay, don't force yourself." Lu Churan patted his hand to soothe his anxiety, but his expression clearly had something to do with it, he looked at Ye Xi with a forced smile, "It's okay if you can't say you like me , I can wait for you, don't worry."

Ye Xi was so remorseful that she wished she could dumb herself down, and she was also afraid because of her indiscriminate words, afraid that Lu Churan would spend a lot of time on him, but because his lack of progress would all be wasted.

That would be a pity.It's a pity for others and yourself to like someone who doesn't like yourself anyway.

"Lu Churan, will you fall in love with other people who can confess to you because you can't wait?" Ye Xi asked.

"No, am I such a casual person?" Lu Churan asked him back.

"Generally, people who are not casual are not human when they are casual." Ye Xi muttered in a low voice, and in a blink of an eye, he saw Lu Churan staring at him with an angry expression on his face.

Guiltily, he put a piece of green vegetable into his mouth, and then raised his eyes to look at Lu Churan, "Then you go home early tomorrow night, I don't want to eat takeaway, I will see you when I get home."

"Okay." Lu Churan promised him, "Is it also eleven o'clock?"

"Ah."

I don't know if it's because of the pressure, but Ye Xi's work efficiency was very high the next day. He had already finished his work at 09:30, and he didn't eat anything in the evening to catch up with work. By this time, he was already hungry.

Ye Xi didn't drive to work, and Lu Churan sent him here in the morning, so he walked from the company to the nearby subway station to take the subway after work. It was the time when the big shopping malls were closed, so he went out to eat, shop and work in the mall at night. People are waiting for the subway, forming a long line outside the screen door.

When Ye Xi walked from the crowded subway station to "tobecontinued", the hour hand on his watch was pointing to ten o'clock.

He stood on the opposite side of the road and looked at the people inside the glass door. The distance was a bit blurry. He almost came out of the subway station half-running. He stood in a range where the street lights couldn't illuminate, breathing deeply and calmly, and was hidden by the thick black night. , There were two people in the store talking happily, and no one noticed the dark corner outside.

Ye Xi took out his mobile phone, pressed the first number in the communication record, and the call was answered after two seconds, "Ye Xi? Are you home?"

"...Yeah." Ye Xi lied and told the truth, "I'm hungry, my stomach hurts, why haven't you come back yet?"

For some reason, Lu Churan heard the feeling from his tone that "when the adults are playing outside until late at night, the children are at home with a pitiful tone and tell them to come back soon".

"I thought you didn't get off work until eleven o'clock, so I'll be back within half an hour." Lu Churan looked at the time and changed his words again, "10 minutes, okay?"

"Not good." Ye Xi looked at the figure standing up in the distance, and for some reason, his eyes suddenly became hot, and he felt a sore feeling in his heart.

In fact, there is obviously nothing wrong with this, right? Three 10 minutes has been compromised to two 10 minutes, right? Lu Churan's care for him is hidden in these 10 minutes.

But he still cared and didn't want to pretend he didn't care. What he wanted was for Lu Churan to leave the person sitting opposite him right away, and he wanted to hear Lu Churan say "I'll be back now" instead of compromising. minute.

After a few seconds of silence, Ye Xi said again, with a weak nasal voice, "Can you come back, don't accompany others."

After Ye Xi said this, he immediately regretted it. He felt that his current behavior was like what a married couple who cried, made trouble, and hanged himself said to a husband who provoked bees and butterflies.

So cowardly, I seem to have been completely drawn to this person.Love is an inseparable feeling that can't go far and pour all your emotions to bet on another person's care. It's really disgusting.

Ye Xi sighed lightly, and just when he wanted to say "Forget it, just pretend I didn't say it", Lu Churan's voice came from the receiver.

"Okay, I'll be back now."

After hanging up the phone, Lu Churan said sorry to Qi Nian in front of him, "Ye Xi may have a stomachache since he hasn't eaten yet, so he has to go first. I'll tell you the rest of the topic on WeChat. Pack up your things and I'll take you to the station along the way."

"Ah, don't bother you, Mr. Lu, if you are in a hurry to go back, you should go first. Senior is not feeling well and should be waiting for you. Thank you for inviting me to dinner today." Qi Nian waved his hand, he wanted to ask Mr. Lu, you and me Is the senior already together, but he feels that it is better not to know how to speak, after all, it is Lu Churan's private matter, even though this private matter is also very important to him.

Lu Churan nodded knowingly, "You're welcome. Then you should be careful on the road, and send me a WeChat message when you get home."

"Well, okay." Qi Nian smiled at him and started to pack his things. Lu Churan pushed the door out before he finished packing. He stood there, very disappointed and smiled helplessly.

Lu Churan walked all the way to the parking lot, and was about to unlock the car next to her car when someone hugged her waist from behind.

Sudden surprise attack at night made him subconsciously froze for a moment. He almost thought he was robbed and hesitant to throw the person behind him over his shoulder to the ground. Then he heard Ye Xi bury his face behind his back, "" Lu Churan."

"Scare me, little liar." Lu Churan breathed a sigh of relief, and turned around to wrap his arms around his waist, "Didn't you say you were waiting for me at home?"

"But my stomachache is real, I didn't lie to you, I just really want to see you right away." This is Ye Xi's usual way of speaking to coax others, but at this moment he doesn't have the usual feeling of being out of touch , he looked at Lu Churan with clear eyes, even the fragility inside was so clear.

If he had never had it, he would probably not be afraid of losing it, but if he had never had it, how would he know that he needed others so desperately.

Lu Churan rubbed the tip of his nose with him, pursed her lips and remained silent, a trace of autumn wind passing by disturbed the quiet air at night.

Ye Xi's expression was a little confused, and he raised his chin slightly to kiss his lips, feeling the warmth of Lu Churan's breath caressing his face, and the colic in his stomach was offset by the soft and gentle touch on his lips a little bit.

It is more effective than quick-acting painkillers.

Such thoughts popped up in Ye Xi's mind, and then he couldn't help laughing. Lu Churan bit his tongue lightly to keep him from distracting, and he nervously grabbed Lu Churan's clothes with a "huh". , let go to touch his face again, and interacted with him passionately.

On the opposite side of the road in the parking lot, a man stood still. He watched this scene freeze in front of his eyes for a long time as if lost in his soul, before he came back to his senses and looked away, and left in the direction of the station.

The author has something to say: Lao Lu is thinking "1. Well, it's good to be in charge of me. 2. It's good to have no money to open a hotel room and not be able to find someone else. 3. If you don't have money, you can't run around and you can only go home. Good." Summed up in one sentence, "Very good."