Double sleep

In the living room with the mahogany floor sat four silent figures.

Ling Rusi and Ran Ran sat side by side on the sofa in the living room, her hand was always firmly holding the hand with cold fingertips.Ling Rusi's mother and father sat on both sides of the dining table.

Ling Rusi's mother calmed down a little from the hysteria in the morning, and sat beside her in a daze, the tissue in her hand had been rubbed until it became soft.There were no tears in her eyes long ago, but she still wiped them unconsciously with a tissue.

Ling Rusi's father put one hand on the dining table and smoked one by one. His fingers from smoking all the year round were already slightly yellowed.

In the morning, when Ling Rusi's mother came back from shopping for groceries, as soon as she entered the door, she saw two people lying on the sofa facing each other with a good morning kiss. That wife's voice was far more piercing than the glass she broke.

She is like an old cat, seeing a cub that was secretly taken to play with, and after returning to the nest, it was covered with a strange smell.The old cat immediately frowned, showing its sharp nails and sharp teeth, vowing to bite to death the kitten whose smell was confusing.

She questioned out of control: "Ling Rusi, what are you doing?"

Ling Rusi sat up calmly, looked back at her mother seriously, and said calmly, "It's actually my girlfriend."

Ling Rusi's mother went even crazier, almost screaming, "What do you mean?"

Ling Rusi did not give in: "Literally, I love you."

Unexpectedly put the sofa back to its original position in silence, walked over hesitantly and wanted to pass a glass of water to Ling Rusi's mother, but before the water was handed to her, her mother swung the whole glass of water mercilessly onto unexpectedly face.She pointed at Ran's nose and her voice trembled: "You...you...do you have any shame? She is your teacher, do you know that!"

She was actually holding an empty water glass in her hand, water dripped down her forehead from her splashed bangs, and a large area of ​​her pajamas on her chest was wet.

Ling Rusi came over and took Ran's hand and said, "Go take a shower."

Ling Rusi's mother rushed over to stop her, and stretched out her hand to pull away Ling Rusi's hand, she said: "You let her go, immediately, immediately."

Look, even if many things are repeated, the scenes are surprisingly similar.The manipulating hand could rewrite the trajectory of cause and effect jokingly with her, but there were many stabs and no blood left.

Ling Rusi walked away from his mother, pushed him to the bathroom, turned to his mother and said, "She won't leave. Never." The voice was flat and calm, revealing an inhuman indifference.

Ling Rusi's mother stared at Ling Rusi for a long time in disbelief. After a while, she gritted her teeth and asked, "Your parents don't want it anymore, do they?"

Ling Rusi's tone was still flat and calm: "I didn't say that, and I never thought about it." Then, the topic changed: "But, if you are forced to that point..."

He simply changed into a T-shirt, walked out from the bathroom door, raised his hand and pulled Ling Rusi's elbow, trying to stop the words she was about to say.Turning around to face Ling Rusi's mother and bowing forcefully, she said, "Auntie, I'm sorry."

She really didn't know what else to say other than sorry.The promise of ordinary lovers?Promise that I will love your daughter for the rest of my life?Guaranteed that I will always be nice to her alone?Even if she cut out a bloody heart and held it in front of others, it might just be disgusting.

They just fell in love with someone who happened to be of the same sex.No third party, no stealing.But no matter how much they try their best to love and work hard, many times they are still sick in the eyes of others.From beginning to end their love is a desperate struggle against the whole world.

But what does it matter?The man next to her was so determined, without the slightest hesitation.Mountains of swords and seas of fire rushed towards her without seeing her, that was enough.

Until Ling Rusi's father came in a hurry, Ling Rusi and Jian Ran remained silent and did not speak again.They sat on the sofa with their fingers clasped together, letting Lingrusi's mother go crazy, screaming and cursing.When her mother was exhausted, the three of them sat silently in the living room, and no one spoke again.

After smoking the third cigarette, Ling Rusi's father glanced at the clasped hands of the two on the sofa, frowned and looked away, and asked, "What's going on?"

Ling Rusi's mother choked and said, "You ask her yourself, I'm ashamed to say so."

Just about to speak, Ling Rusi held her down and patted the back of her hand: "Let me tell."

Ling Rusi let go and got up to pour a glass of water for each of her parents, and gently put it on the dining table.Then she dragged a chair and sat in the space between the sofa and the dining table.

She smiled slowly, sat down on the chair, rested her elbows on the knees of her legs, her right hand habitually turned the silver ring on her left ring finger.This moment inexplicably coincides with that night a few years ago.Only this time, there was something unexpected by her side.

Ling Rusi said softly: "Dad, Mom, let me introduce you. This is my girlfriend, who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

She spread her palms upwards in front of Ran, and unexpectedly looked up at her from the sofa, the eyes of the two met in the air, and for a moment, like bright fireworks blooming in the night sky, the hot flames burst into full bloom without any scruples.

After the previous stimulation had subsided, Ling Rusi's mother was stimulated again, and her whole body trembled with anger.

Ling Rusi's father looked at Ling Rusi, sighed, tried to suppress his temper, and finally said helplessly: "You are still young and impulsive, and emotional matters are often not that simple. Even if you feel very The other party can't do it, after the passion is over, you will face the life of poor rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea, and face the accusations and pressure from the outside world. You will regret today's decision, and you will blame us for not guiding you well."

Ling Rusi shook her head with a self-deprecating chuckle. In the past 20 years, they have never been defeated by gossip, and they have never cared about the colored eyes of the crowd.

They manage their lives to be prosperous, and the prosperity of the world that should be there is not falling.The only one who shrinks like a thief in front of her closest relatives is the family relationship who steals a little of the earthly time.

Isn't it ridiculous?

Their friends, their colleagues, someone can bless them, envy them, and envy them.Even if you don't understand, you can't interfere.She kept saying that she was your best blood relative, but from before to later, and from later back to the past, she always spurned her.

Ling Rusi said with a smile: "Dad, Mom. Imagine another life I live, another possibility."

"Maybe one day I won't be able to survive the torment of my inner family, and I will be persuaded by you. I will choose to follow your so-called path and find a man to marry. In your opinion, I am back on track, but I may just find a man to sign the agreement, Hold a lively wedding in the eyes of the world."

"Pretend that I am not with you, pretend that I am married to someone else and live a so-called normal life. Then stay away from you secretly, secretly with you, five years, ten years, 15 years. Maybe we will continue to deceive ourselves like this, you guys Holding a fantasy that I will have a child, there is always hope every year after urging."

"Then, suddenly one day, maybe I'm not here anymore, so I have the courage to show you my cards and tell you my suffering, my patience and my pain. Maybe I will live like a walking dead for the rest of my life, with no desires ,Die alone."

"Or, you will feel unbearable, and will start persuading me to find a partner, at least someone to accompany me when I get old, so it doesn't look desolate. It has nothing to do with love, you will say that all relationships and all lovers are just companions in the end."

"In that case, is it really that important whether that person is a man or a woman?"

Ling Rusi's father was silent, and her mother said with trembling lips, "Ling Rusi, are you trying to force me to death?"

Ling Rusi said calmly: "Maybe it will be me who will be forced to death in the end."

Ling Rusi's mother suddenly stood up from her chair and said cruel words: "I don't want to hear your nonsense, you two are not dating today, so you don't have to recognize us two old guys, I will pretend that you were never born .”

Ling Rusi's father patted the table lightly and said, "Say less."

Ling Rusi got up and walked to the dining table, took out a cigarette from the cigarette case her father put on the table, and lit it.Take a deep breath and say to your stunned parents, "Yes, I smoke. Occasionally."

She took only two puffs, then pressed the cigarette into the ashtray, and said, "Dad, Mom. Many dead ends in life are forced out by ourselves. We are always willing to cut down the suspension bridge in front of us in order to conform to the crowd. After turning into a cliff, turn around and sneak into the crowd."

"But now, I want to take this suspension bridge. No matter what, you are my parents, and the blood relationship cannot be separated. I will not be less filial. If you really can't accept it, then calm down for a while before talking."

She said softly and gently: "Sorry, I can't find you a son-in-law and have a grandson like the normal life that most people expect. Not now, nor in the future."

After speaking, Ling Rusi waved to Ran Ran, and unexpectedly got up and bowed deeply to Ling Rusi's parents again, "Uncle, Auntie, I'm sorry."

The two walked to the door hand in hand, Ling Rusi said: "In order not to let you see us upset, we avoided you. You can stay as long as you want. Most of you come to this world only once, don't get angry because of me."

Are Ling Rusi and He unexpectedly lucky enough to come here twice?

This encounter was paid for with all her strength and her life. Even though she knew that the reality of another encounter would still be full of thorns, she would brave the thorns and move forward regardless of herself.

The two of them were exhausted physically and mentally when they walked downstairs, only then did they realize that no one had taken in a drop of water since morning.Ling Rusi went to the restaurant next to the community to order a few dishes, and left his home address and father's phone number, so that they could be prepared and delivered directly.

She and Ran walked hand in hand for a while, feeling a little tired, so they sat down casually on the stone steps of the flower bed by the side of the road.She leaned on Ran Ran's shoulder, watching the sunset, the clouds in the sky were dyed blood red, piled up in layers, swaggering like large peony petals.

Unexpectedly, a pleasant voice sounded in her ears, with the hoarse voice that had been silent for too long, and the low voice was like the strings plucking in her heart, which made her feel peaceful.

He actually said: "If one day I'm not here, don't be sad. In fact, I will always be by your side. Although you can't see me, I will always be there."

My dear, I have never left, and the end of everything is just a palm away.

This palm is separated by mountains and seas, but I am always behind you.