Long river

Cen Li didn't sleep well all night.

He had many vague dreams, dreaming of his grandmother's cloudy eyes, dreaming of his father's appearance covered in blood, dreaming of his mother's back without turning her head.

When I woke up in the morning, I realized that my whole body was sore, as if I had fought with someone all night.

But the class still has to go.

When he arrived at the hospital with not so obvious dark circles under his eyes, he happened to meet Lin Feng at the door.

Lin Feng is Cen Li's senior brother, he has been a student of Cen Li twice, and he has always taken care of Cen Li a lot.

Cen Li sometimes felt that senior brother and Lao Zhou treated him as if they were raising sons.He also wondered where he made them think this way, but the concern and care were all real.Cen Li was grateful to everyone who approached him with kindness.

"Did you go mining last night?" Lin Feng was startled when he saw Cen Li's dark circles.

"Didn't sleep well." Cen Li rubbed his eyes.

Lin Feng was a little worried: "Seeing your complexion is not good, do you want to ask for leave and go back to rest?"

"It's okay." Cen Li smiled, "How are you and Sister Jiajia?"

"Hey, what can I do?" Lin Feng walked in side by side with him, shaking his head and sighing, "There is no couple who doesn't quarrel, don't worry, you will understand when you get married in the future."

After finishing speaking, he looked at Cen Li again, and asked in a low voice, "I've never seen you in a relationship, why can't you find your conditions? Why, is there someone you like?"

"No." Cen Li replied vaguely, "I'm not in a hurry."

Maybe it was because of Saturday, the number of people in the hospital increased significantly, and the emergency department became busy. It wasn't until the doctor who changed shift at noon that Cen Li breathed a sigh of relief.

Lin Feng came to find him to have dinner with him, he changed his clothes and followed him out.

When approaching the hall, a patient happened to be pushed out from the operating room, and doctors, nurses, and family members crowded the corridor.They quickly moved aside.

Fearing that others would crowd into Cen Li, Lin Feng subconsciously stretched out his hand to wrap Cen Li's shoulders, and brought him to his side.

After the crowd passed by, Cen Li saw Song Xingke standing across the corridor.

What a coincidence, Cen Li thought.

Lin Feng's hand was still around his shoulders, which made him feel a little guilty the moment he saw Song Xingke, and then he realized that he had nothing to do with Lin Feng, but what did he have to do with Song Xingke?

Song Xingke's complexion was not good, and Cen Li guessed maliciously that he just didn't sleep well last night, but Song Xingke was not sure if he could sleep or not, the dark circles under his eyes were as heavy as his two.

Song Xingke called him in a low voice: "Cen Li."

"What are you doing here?" Cen Li glanced at him, then looked away again.

Song Xingke didn't speak, he looked at Lin Feng's arm on Cen Li's shoulder, his face became more and more serious.

Lin Feng also felt the change in the atmosphere, he withdrew his hand, and said hesitantly: "Xiao Li, this is..."

"Boyfriend." Song Xingke stared at him and said, "I'm his boyfriend."

Lin Feng glanced at Song Xingke in surprise, then turned his gaze to Cen Li.

Cen Li also opened his eyes wide in shock, he was about to be so angry by Song Xingke that he couldn't speak: "Who is your boyfriend?!"

Song Xingke grabbed his wrist and said, "Xiao Li, I want to talk to you."

Cen Li struggled twice, but did not break free.

Lin Feng looked at the situation in front of him, he was a little undecided, he asked Cen Li: "What do you want me to do?"

Cen Li sighed, and said softly, "Go eat first, brother."

Lin Feng looked at Song Xingke suspiciously again, and Cen Li comforted him: "It's okay."

Lin Feng had no choice but to intervene in Cen Li's personal affairs, so he had to ask Cen Li to call him if he had something to do, and then left.

Cen Li immediately shook off Song Xingke's hand. Seeing Lin Feng leaving, Song Xingke stopped holding Cen Li forcefully and followed him to the French window at the end of the corridor.

"What's the matter?" Cen Li looked at him coldly.

"I'm sorry." Song Xingke's voice was a little tired, "I asked her yesterday, and she told me about that."

In fact, what happened yesterday was far from being an understatement.

Song Xingke was so angry that he called Lin Yuan. Lin Yuan was on vacation abroad, and was also surprised when he received his call.

Their relationship is not considered close. Of course, Lin Yuan loves Song Xingke, that is her son, but she loves too many things, love money, love beauty, love comparison, any one of them is for Song Xingke love as much.

Song Xingke forcefully dug out the facts from her back then.

The fact is that Lin Yuan told Song Xingke that Cen Li took the money from her in order to make Song Xingke completely let go of Cen Li and go abroad to study with a girl she thought was suitable.

She also succeeded. For a long time, Song Xingke always thought that in Cen Li's heart, there were countless things more important than him and their feelings.

He didn't doubt that Cen Li liked him, but maybe just like his mother, they all loved him, but never only him.

When Lin Yuan told him all this, Song Xingke was almost speechless. He asked Lin Yuan in a hoarse voice, "Are you not guilty?"

Lin Yuan was also a little embarrassed, and only said: "I regretted it too, but I thought you would miss him."

Song Xingke stopped talking nonsense to her, he said: "I found him, this time, no one can force him away again."

Lin Yuan was silent for a moment, then sighed, and said, "Song Xingke, the child left at that time, not only because of me."

Next, Song Xingke understood the truth of six years ago in a peeling way.

These truths made him fall into the abyss of emotion in an instant, regret like a spider web firmly grasped all the nerves, and swept him overwhelmingly.

He began to experience Cen Li's pain personally, and after six years, he finally took a step closer to Cen Li's world.

Hearing his apology, Cen Li smiled and said, "If you just want to talk about it, forget it, there's nothing to be sorry about."

Song Xingke said with some difficulty: "Cen Li, I never wanted to leave you back then."

Cen Li refrained from hearing him mention the events back then, so he stared at Song Xingke and said, "Is it meaningful to say these things now? What's more, at that time, everyone knew that you were going abroad, but I was the only one who didn't know, Song Xingke, when you Am I a fool?"

"No." Song Xingke said, "I refused."

Cen Li didn't believe it, he mocked Song Xingke: "You refused? Your passport is ready, and you told me that you refused?"

"Cen Li, I know you don't believe me." Song Xingke said, "But you should be fair to me. You have to believe me, but you are willing to believe others."

They were so close that Cen Li could almost see Song Xingke's indelible sadness through Song Xingke's eyes.

Cen Li threw away his helmet and armor in those eyes. Seven years ago, he couldn't reject Song Xingke, and seven years later, his prospects have not improved at all.

He was silent for a while, then said in a low voice: "Your mother told me that you are going abroad with that girl named Wanyi, and she said I shouldn't delay you." She also said that we are not from the same world, not before, Not now, and never will be.

"What are you thinking?" Song Xingke frowned, "I like men, don't you know?"

Cen Li didn't speak. He really couldn't recall what he was thinking at the time. Perhaps the difficulties brought by life overwhelmed his reason. Facing poverty and life and death, he couldn't spare a little thought to rationally analyze and deal with it. his love.

In fact, he had seen the girl several times.

During the last time he and Song Xingke were together, quarreling took up a considerable amount of time.At that time, he often saw the girl who came to pick him up with Song Xingke's family car after school.

That girl is lively and loves to laugh, walking with Song Xingke, anyone would think they are a couple.

They are two extremes with him, the 17-year-old Cen Li thinks quietly, one of them, like Song Xingke, lives under the favor of the world, and the other is like bacteria growing in a dark corner.

Lin Yuan told him, don't delay him.

Cen Li was terribly wronged, but Lin Yuan turned around and handed him a photo. The boys and girls standing together laughed like big patches of sunshine.

"They match so well." Lin Yuan said with a smile, "Do you think so?"

Cen Li then silenced the drums and had nothing to say.He was angry with Song Xingke, angry with himself, and angry with life.So I chose to leave without looking back.

Seeing that Cen Li had been silent for a long time, Song Xingke held his hand. Before Cen Li had time to react, he heard Song Xingke say, "Wanyi is a child of my mother's friend's family. She likes girls. I knew it from the very beginning. Are you relieved?"

Cen Li raised his head abruptly, stared at Song Xingke closely, and said after a while, "Didn't you lie to me?"

"What good does it do for me to lie to you?" Song Xingke said, "I never lied to you, Cen Li, ask your conscience, when did I ever lie to you?"

"I told you to break up, but you agreed without looking back, and now you say you like me." Cen Li whispered.

Cen Li has a cold personality and rarely speaks softly to others.Listening to his aggrieved questioning, Song Xingke's heart almost melted: "I thought couples were angry when they quarreled and broke up. How could you know that you were serious?"

At that time, Song Xingke was fighting against his family because of his reluctance to go abroad, and Cen Li was also very busy because of his grandmother's illness.

The last time he met Cen Li, Song Xingke also took him as an angry word, and after two days of calming down, he gave in and passed.How did I know this hurdle, six years passed abruptly.