Caged Birds and Birders

He took me to the bathroom to wash my hands without any distaste, and even dried me with a shirt. I just need to be like an emperor and concentrate on playing. Monkey Mountain is a bit far from here. I was so tired that my calves hurt when I walked halfway Yes, he turned his eyes and came up with a trick.

"Brother, the baby's leg hurts."

My brother listened, walked up to me with long legs, then picked me up on his back, and let me straddle his shoulders, like a pair of father and son in a zoo.

My brother tried his best to walk slowly and steadily. I was so excited today that I felt a little giddy. Such regular shaking like a crib brought me infinitely closer to the dream. Before I arrived at Monkey Mountain, I entered Zhou Gong Meng, still drooling and snoring.

In fact, why I am so weak has something to do with Brothers' Love Day. My small body can't return to normal within a week, but my brother can't bear it, and I can't resist with such a young child's body. Resentment, but I don't know it myself.

After returning home, I half-opened my eyes and watched my brother busy up and down to bathe and change my clothes. I felt like a landlord being served by a servant. Although today is Sunday, my brother didn’t wake me up. To the same, with a smile fell asleep.

When the sun rose on Monday, my brother was still in the room, and there was another voice in the room. They seemed to be arguing about something. My brother’s voice was not as calm as usual. I rubbed I walked over and saw that it was Xiaohu's cousin. He was holding the elementary school enrollment leaflet from the community, and he seemed to be arguing with his brother. I didn't care, and it wasn't Xiaohu who came to play with me.

After eating the breakfast made by my brother, I wanted to turn on the TV in the living room, and turned it to the lowest volume, hanging it high as if it had nothing to do with me.

"Qin Tian, ​​you can't let a child live such a life."

"What do you know?"

"You are not his parents, you can't let him live like a canary, he will be divorced from society."

In fact, this is not the first time someone has come to my door to persuade my brother to let me go to compulsory education. I don’t want to go out to bask in the sun at all. My brother will use various methods to reject these enthusiastic people, but this time it seems that he is at the end of his rope. This Xiaohu’s cousin is too patient. This is actually the fifth time he came to persuade him. This time he took the leaflet directly, threatening to let me enroll in school. If I don’t go, the school will come to my house Persuade me to enroll.

He seemed a little unsure this time, and turned his gaze to me who was looking at Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf. I thought that going to school and not being on Sundays could not be used as a reason to avoid the love day, so I decided to stand on my brother's side.

"Brother Ming, I don't want to go to school."

This persuasion still failed.

"Will the baby hate brother?"

What's the matter, is it because I didn't have a good night kiss to accept my game console or to prevent me from adding Xiaohu's Keke account? When talking about Keke as a communication tool, why do I have to ask my parents to agree to add friends? My friend list has only Two people, one customer service and one elder brother.

I shook my head, "Brother, baby wants to eat braised pork ribs at noon."

My brother came back from grocery shopping at noon, still holding a very handsome schoolbag in his hand, and told me that he would go to school tomorrow.

I am 12 years old this year. I don’t know what grade it should be, probably the sixth grade. Although I prefer to go straight to junior high school, I still have to prepare for the entrance exam, so I had to give up.

My brother miraculously arranged the textbooks in one afternoon, as if he knew that I would have to step on the road of compulsory education, and even the book cover is a packaged Anpanman.

The next day, I got up early. My brother made breakfast and came over to dress me when he heard the sound. I was so excited that I was dishonest. Looking at the ADHD-like little boy in the mirror, he was wearing a white shirt, brown shorts, and black leather shoes. If I didn’t know, I probably thought it was a young master from some family. I secretly kicked off the little leather shoes and changed them. Anpanman’s limited edition luminous sandals, and unbuttoned most of the buttons that my brother had worked so hard to fasten, before carrying his schoolbag to school.

My brother has been watching from the side without saying a word. When I looked at him, I barely smiled. I sat on the back seat of the bicycle and hummed happily, "I'm going to school. The teacher doesn't know. The bird said early." Early, why are you carrying a pack of explosives?"

This song was repeated five or six times, and I saw a gate like a rainbow gate, and there were many children in white and blue navy uniforms playing together, and what made me even happier was that Xiaohu was also in that small group, There was a serious-looking auntie and a bald uncle standing at the door, and when they saw me looking at him, they secretly gave me a grimace, and when I replied with a disdainful expression unique to the Qin family, that uncle actually smiled, My brother went to go through the admission procedures for me, and I was led to the classroom with Class 6, Grade 1 written on the door sign.

I want to be cool, just say that I am Qin Di, and I will end up cool, but the sky is not what people want, just standing on that big platform, I tripped over a piece of chalk, I firmly refuse to admit that it is because Too nervous, and resolutely ignored the laughter from below, said the above lines in just five seconds from getting up to stepping down, and then ended in despair.

The seat the teacher pointed out to me was next to a very strong girl. I was scared when I saw her fat arms and red face, but she was very friendly to me and gave me a very After she gave me the neat schedule, there was a lot of booing from behind, and it was only quieted down under the teacher's loud reprimand.

The first time I went to school, I didn’t even know what the teacher was talking about. I just kept looking at the fan on the head of the classmate in the front seat and the big blue ribbon of a long-haired girl next to me. After circling hundreds of times in my mind, the bell rang, and I couldn't wait to walk in front of her.She stared at me with wide eyes, as if she didn't know what happened. After I repeated it again, she blushed and touched her own ribbon, with a voice like a mosquito: "If you like it, I can give it to you."

I was just about to reject her saying that I am a boy and don’t need hair flowers, when I saw my brother outside the window, he didn’t leave, he waved to me, bought me my favorite chocolate pudding, and bought There are many copies. I held these treasures and distributed them to the classmates around me. I also specially gave one more to the girl with blue ribbon next to her. Her face turned redder, as if it was a red apple.

The only regret this time is that Xiaohu’s class is far away from me. In the innermost class 8, the time after class is only enough for me to run to their class, and I don’t even have time to come back. When I was late, I was glared at by the teacher holding a ruler glance.

When I got home, I deliberately ignored my brother who was waiting at the door, and held hands with Xiaohu and wanted to play at his house, because he said that there was a rare species in his game, and just a few dozen steps out of the school gate, an accident happened.

A motorcycle slammed into my brother at the door. My brother didn't hide, and stood there stupidly as if he didn't see it. I was so scared that I let go of Xiaohu's hand and rushed to my brother. Eyes full of bright red blood, the beach has become a small lake.

The serious aunt at the school called an ambulance, and the motorcycle driver was taken away by the police uncle. I sat in the ambulance and kept thinking that my brother would die?Will my brother leave me like my parents? This kind of thing, the brother in white clothes next to me kept saying something, I didn’t hear anything, until the ambulance arrived at the hospital, I burst into tears and hugged my brother’s body .

A lot of people are pulling me together, trying to pull me away from my brother, but I am afraid that they will take my brother to the hell like the god of death on TV. If I didn’t deliberately ignore my brother and make him angry, I wouldn’t let the motorcycle Hit my brother.I selfishly wanted to get rid of my brother's control, but I caused my brother to die. If my brother really died, I would die too.

The ribbon girl has been by my side all the time. When I was crying with snot and tears, she handed me a small blue handkerchief, and then squatted in the corner and watched me silently.

Those uncles and aunts pushed my brother into a very scary room. I was stopped outside. Xiaohu pulled my clothes and stopped me from scratching the door with my fingers. I asked him, "Will my brother die?" He shook his head vigorously Said "Brother is so young and can't die." Yes, brother will not die, tomorrow is brotherly love day, every time he used to prepare things in advance to coax me to obey, or small toys or game discs, I haven't received this gift yet, he will definitely not die.

Finally, the closed door was opened, and my brother was sent out with a hanging bottle. He seemed to have his eyes open. I ran to him and talked to him, but he didn’t even look at me, as if I was just air, 12 At the age of [-], it seemed that something broke in my heart. Does my brother not love me? Because I don’t want to accept his bondage, he is going to die and won’t be with me anymore?

I can't just leave my brother like a hero with a backbone. When I walked into the ward, my eyes were blurred, tears covered my eye sockets, but I couldn't close my eyes. I want to tell my brother that I will never be disobedient again I won’t ignore him, and I won’t deliberately stay away from him because I made friends. My brother may have been watching my behavior. I saved all the pocket money my brother gave me and wanted to really leave him, because I picked up a welfare on the way Hospital advertisements, my diary wrote what my brother did to me on the love day, I cursed the pain he gave me, and said that I wanted to leave him forever.

Yes, when I was 12 years old at the time, I actually wanted to leave my brother forever in my dream. This backlog of thoughts for 6 years was completely extinguished by this accident. I was still afraid of my brother, but my brother told me with his own blood that I Can't leave me, when I leave him, he will kill himself, kill me.

I just went to school for half a day, and fell into an indefinite break. I stayed in my brother's ward every day, doing things within my power, and didn't even eat seriously. The nurses said that they had never seen such a sensible person like me. My child, I am so skinny that I have lost even baby fat. I have dark circles under my eyes at a very young age. I know that this is actually a sense of guilt.This is the bondage that my brother bought with his life, and it is the kind that lasts a lifetime.

After a week of being out of my mind like this, even the sister nurse looked at me from sympathy to helplessness, but my brother still hasn't woken up.

When I went home that day, I burned the notebook that recorded my brother's actions, and put all the dolls in a bag. If, if, my brother didn't wake up today, I would die with him.

However, when I approached the ward, I saw an empty bed. I broke down and cried, and kept hitting the white wall with my head, thinking that this would relieve some pain in my heart, and finally fell into a coma. , as if entering someone else's world.

A person named Mom and a person called Dad, saw me with bandages on my head, and wept loudly. The kind-looking woman with very light hair like my brother hugged me fiercely. I kept murmuring something I couldn't understand, "I'm sorry." This is the word I hear the most. It turns out that I actually have parents, and what my brother said is a lie, but so what, brother Never coming back again, who can I turn to to sue?

I seem to be living in a thick membrane. Sometimes the surrounding sounds can be heard and sometimes can’t be heard. The surrounding environment seems to be from a fairy tale, and sometimes it turns into the real world. After that, I met many people who don’t wear white coats. Doctors, they keep repeating some ridiculously simple questions, trying to wake me up. Generally, I have always longed to enter that fairy tale forever, so I often use some sharp weapons to harvest blood, because the witch in that world said that as long as I get five So much blood from a soda bottle that I could see my brother and reset everything.

After a period of time, maybe a year or maybe five years, I could no longer stand up, because of long-term malnutrition and the escalation of self-harm behavior. Nutrient solution has replaced three meals a day, and there are as many needle holes in my arms as stars.

In the end, my parents sent me to a closed nursing home. It is said that it takes a lot of money that many people can’t earn in a lifetime to live in a mysterious place. I finally escaped from the constant psychiatrist’s wheel war. When I got out of my parents’ car, Even smiling.

Standing at the gate of the nursing home was a boy with light-colored hair and soft, slightly drooping eyes, like the one I had been looking at a long time ago.

When I looked at him, he raised the corner of his mouth slightly.

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