choose

He avoided talking about his mother and grandfather in front of s, and he avoided talking about Severus in front of his mother or grandfather.

Severus patted Draco a few more times, and said reluctantly, "Draco, I have always respected your mother. What she did was very respectful. But..."

"Dad, I thought you were on my side!" Draco said angrily.

Severus smiled wryly, and said, "Draco, of course I'm on your side. It's her loss that Hermione didn't catch such an outstanding young man like my son. But..."

Severus' eyes wandered for a moment before continuing, "Draco, if I loved you a little less, I'd be glad you would live with me and your father after marriage. But for now, I just want you to be selfish." A little, a little light on your shoulders, happy, like Theodore Nott, living the life that young people should have. I also went to college, and I know most young people at this age should spend their spare time Spend on parties and relationships, instead of helping me take care of your father like you. Draco, you don't have to put so much responsibility on your own shoulders. Follow Hermione to Baltimore, I know your grandfather is there There is also business waiting for you."

Draco glanced at his stepfather with emotion, but still insisted, "I have a reason to stay in Boston."

Severus thought for a moment, then asked tentatively, "Your grandfather?"

Draco moved his feet uneasily, clearly unwilling to talk about his grandfather in front of Severus. —he'd seen Severus and Abraxas quarrel in the hospital corridor.But since Severus asked, Draco had no choice but to say, "Dad, I suspect my grandfather is showing signs of dementia. I advised him to see a doctor, but he scolded me."

The black-haired doctor looked at his son with concern. —may God forgive him, he wasn't worried about Abraxas' health at all, but it was clear that both Lucius and Draco loved the old man who kept getting in the way of his relationship with Lucius.For Lucius' sake, he agreed to Abraxas' visitation rights to Lucius early on.Then, Severus and Abraxas, who hated each other, consciously staggered each other's visits to Lucius.

Considering Lucius' happy smile after Abraxas' visit, Severus suppressed the sour water in his heart, and said comfortingly: "What are the symptoms? Maybe it's just old age memory loss."

Draco described uncomfortably: "Recent things are forgotten as soon as they are said, insomnia, headaches, paranoia, er, mild delusions of persecution."

Severus thought for a while, and said, "It sounds a bit like vascular dementia, but paranoia and delusions of persecution are a bit like Alzheimer's. What are the manifestations of paranoia and delusions of persecution?"

Draco gave Severus a perplexed look.

The black-haired vascular doctor rolled his eyes inwardly, and said, "Your grandfather wouldn't say that I waited for him to die so that I could occupy your father's property and start abusing your father?"

Draco's surprised expression well illustrated the correctness of Severus' guess.

Severus resisted the urge to say something nasty, and told the truth: "This is not a new symptom at all. In fact, he said those words in my face four years ago."

Despite trying to control his tongue, Severus couldn't contain the malice in his words. —Actually, Abraxas hadn't seen a doctor at Hogwarts Hospital since Lucius' stroke, saying it was to prevent Severus from murdering him.

Then, the black-haired doctor gritted his teeth and told his son his diagnosis: "Vascular dementia is more likely. Early intervention and treatment can prevent acute attacks such as cerebral infarction, thrombolysis and proper vasodilation May relieve symptoms."

Looking at his son who looked shocked, Severus said with relief, "Draco, take your grandfather to the hospital for treatment as soon as possible." ——If Abraxas had another stroke, the burden on Draco would be even heavier up.

Draco nodded and said sadly, "Dad, do you think I really can't leave Boston?"

Severus logically came up with a question: "Then why don't you live with your grandfather?"

Draco faltered, "I, um, my grandfather was glad I could take my father home to live in."

At this moment, the black-haired doctor felt that the conflict between himself and Abraxas was extremely absurd: both of them were fighting for Lucius's benefit, but they fought each other to the death.If I can get along with Abraxas, I, Lucius and Abraxas live together, plus those servants hired by Abraxas, why should Draco worry about the three of us?

So, Severus said, "Draco, you go and have a good talk with Hermione. I... I'll call your grandfather, maybe the three of us don't need you to worry."

To make his words more convincing, Severus forced a smile.

】

"Doctor Snape, your family dinner was not going well?" Dr. Lee came to the conclusion sensibly.

Severus sighed and said, "Draco asked to live with me and Lucius after the two of them got married, but his girlfriend refused. Now, the two of them are having a cold war."

"How do you feel about that?" Dr. Lee continued.

Severus said bitterly, "Feeling? I feel guilty and ashamed of it! If I had done better, if I hadn't been so useless, how could- God, few young people today want to live with their parents Together? Even if Draco broke up with his current girlfriend, how can he find a good girl who is willing to marry him by this standard?"

"Doctor Snape, you have no objection to the idea of ​​living with your married son?" the psychiatrist asked.

Severus shivered slightly, and said with a wry smile, "Yes, I'm... shameful, isn't it? I'm expecting Draco's wife to do things I can't do myself. Speaking of which, I saw Lucius a few days ago When I was with my father, I wanted to fight him. If I were under the same roof as Abraxas, we would both kill each other sooner or later. I should really control my temper."

"Doctor Snape, you mean, you met Lucius' father?" Dr. Lee continued to find something wrong with Severus' words.

Severus nodded, and said: "Yes, originally I wanted to ease the relationship with Abraxas, so that Draco would not have to worry about me, Lucius and Abraxas. As a result, after meeting, we broke up again."

"At least, you have met. I have to say, this is not a small progress for both of you." The Asian psychiatrist comforted.

Severus sneered to himself inwardly: yes, for the two paranoids.

"So, what happened when Detective Britten was home last weekend?" asked Dr. Lee.

Thinking of his husband, a smile appeared on Severus' lips: "Lucius is doing well."

【

When Severus and Draco went to fetch Lucius, the light blond man had absolutely no memory of inviting Hermione to his house for dinner.He was busy putting the necklace on himself. Lucius pressed one end of the necklace to the collarbone with his uncontrollable left hand, and held the other end of the necklace with his right hand, repeatedly experimenting with how to connect the two ends together in front of the mirror.

Lucius smiled as soon as he saw Severus enter.With some difficulty, he knelt down in front of Severus and motioned for his husband to help him put the necklace on.

Severus smiled and took the two ends of the necklace, helped her husband fasten it, and adjusted the pendant to Lucius' chest.

Then, Lucius' eyes rested on the pair of earrings on the table.

"Which one should I wear?" Severus looked at Lucius who was hesitating between several pieces of jewelry like a small animal, and felt that he seemed to be in a better mood.

Lucius hesitated between several pieces of jewelry, and finally pointed to a pair of snake-shaped stud earrings, motioning for Severus to help them put them on.

After helping her husband put the studs on, Severus couldn't help but kiss Lucius on the ear.

This made the light-blond-haired man extremely proud.Suddenly, as if he remembered something, he carefully took out a large notebook from the bedside table and stuffed it into Severus' arms.

Severus took the book that Lucius regarded as a treasure, but he was reluctant to open it in his heart: this book was almost entirely sketched by Lucius for his imaginary two children.In the world Lucius had in mind, he was a wealthy wizard who could transform into a wyvern.There, Lucius laid two eggs.After several months of incubation, two baby Wyverns, named Septimius and Lucia, emerged from the eggs.Under the pen of Lucius, these two small reptiles that can take human form continue to grow.The black-haired and black-eyed little boy (whose drawing was based on Severus) was always unhappy; the other platinum-blond haired little girl looked like a copy of Luciana.

According to Dr. Lee, everything Lucius imagined was his projection of reality: in reality, the relationship between Lucius and Severus was not tolerated by Abraxas because the two of them could not have children, so Lucius imagined that he could have children; In reality, Lucius and Severus worry about money, so Lucius fantasizes that he is very rich; here, Severus is paralyzed because of a car accident, and in his dream, there is an omnipotent potion; Unhappy, Lucius imagined it after the sullen Severus in his youth.

God, Severus didn't want to open that book and listen to Lucius gossip about those two kids who didn't exist.Before the accident, Severus and Lucius had indeed considered using a surrogate mother to have their child.Even, Lucius even thought of the child's name: if it's a boy, it's called Septimius; if it's a girl, it's called Lucia.

Thinking of what he had lost in that car accident, Severus felt as if he was being stabbed by a knife: If my driving skills were better, the child between me and Lucius might really be two or three years old, right?

On the other hand, Lucius excitedly opened the book and pointed out to Severus the scene on the latest page where a large wyvern was playing with two small wyverns under him.On the screen, the little black animal seemed to have a hint of unbelievable surprise. Lucius circled the happy animal with his fingers, as if showing off to Severus.

Severus kissed Lucius who hadn't been this happy in a long time, and agreed, "Yes, dear, the child is very happy."

Lucius tugged on Severus' sleeve and thought for a long time before finding the right words.The man with light blond hair said in a vague voice, "It's not dirty anymore."

Severus's heart ached again as if he had been picked out: If it wasn't for me being an idiot, how could Lucius have been humiliated like that?

While trembling in his heart, Severus said with a gentle smile on his face, "Lucius wasn't dirty in the first place."

】

[HP/Awake][LM/SS] Choice - BE Ending Awake Chapter-2

The first half is here.

Dr. Lee asked, "Detective Britten is less frightened?"

Severus concealed his heaviness, and said, "Lucius is much better." In his heart, Severus only hoped that he could atone for his sin with death. ——But he couldn't, he had to take care of his husband who was deeply hurt by his carelessness.

【

Six months ago, Severus had tried to hire someone to take care of Lucius at home.He'd interviewed several people, but Lucius had always been vehemently opposed to the idea of ​​letting strangers into his home.Until a guy named Rufus Fudge came to apply for the job, Lucius, who was in a bad mood those few days, didn't resist.Looking back now, Lucius' reaction at the time was definitely one of fear, not acceptance.And he, being mentally handicapped, let Fudge into his and Lucius' house just like that.

On the first morning of leaving Lucius in Fudge's care, Severus had a minimally invasive vascular procedure.After the operation, Severus had the opportunity to connect to the hidden camera at home through the Internet to see how Lucius was doing.Severus' hands trembled as soon as he opened the video window: Fudge was violently fucking Lucius' mouth on the video.

After calling Lucius' former partner, Detective Bird Freeman, Severus sped off to the house.By the time he got home, Bird had Fudge subdued.

While struggling, Fudge said, "He initiated it!"

With great experience, Bird kicked Fudge at an angle invisible to the camera, and said angrily: "The definition of rape includes verbal threats!"

On the other side, Lucius leaned against the corner of the wall and trembled, and murmured, "Use me, please don't hurt Severus..."

It was clear: Fudge threatened Lucius with words, making him think that if he didn't comply, Fudge would hurt Severus.

Severus hugged Lucius, who was dodging in panic, in his arms distressedly, but for a moment he had the illusion that what Fudge said might be the truth.

The evidence recorded by the pinhole camera was irrefutable: after Severus left, Fudge said something to Lucius, and Lucius trembled. Fudge approached Lucius threateningly, said or did something out of view of the cameras, and Lucius seemed to want to hide at first, but soon gave in to Fudge's tyranny.

Bird kicked Fudge again, who was trying to move, and said to Severus: "I know this bastard, he was expelled from the police academy for soliciting prostitutes. I need to copy and take the video as evidence, you and Lucius may need to go to the police station, I'll do my best to keep you and Lucius from getting into as much trouble as possible. - Don't worry, I'll get the bastard a good cell."

Severus didn't really care much about how Bird and his colleagues dealt with RufusFudge, all he cared about was the hurt Lucius.

——After that, Lucius fell into unspeakable fear and self-loathing.

Lucius contracted gonorrhea after the injury.In fact, the disease itself was not very serious, and a few antibiotic treatments resolved the problem.However, Lucius stubbornly believed that he was very dirty, and refused to touch Draco, and also resisted Severus' touch.

Severus repeatedly expressed the meaning of "you are not dirty" to Lucius, but what he got was Lucius' scream: "You obviously dislike me! When you hugged me, you were so stiff, you would rather take a shower yourself than If you are willing to touch me, you are still lying to me!"

Severus in the wheelchair stared dumbfounded at his hurt-faced husband, not knowing how to explain to his insane husband that the coldness and stiffness below his chest were pathological and had nothing to do with his dislike of Lucius; moreover, what Lucius said The "shower" was Severus's act of cooling his muscles in order to control the spasms in his legs.

A few weeks ago, when Severus tried to hug Lucius after injecting himself with muscle relaxants, Lucius angrily pushed Severus off the bed to the floor: "You're lying to me again! I'm not so easily fooled by potions !"

Severus felt his head buzzing as he was thrown to the ground, but he felt no pain in his body.He had only one thought at the time: I did not do a background check on Fudge to hurt Lucius, I just used drugs improperly to deceive Lucius, let Lucius beat me to death now...

Lucius sat on the bed, stared blankly at Severus on the ground for a long time, and suddenly asked, "Why don't you get up?"

Severus didn't know what to say: the truth was that his arms were weak now from the muscle relaxant he'd just given himself, and the excess muscle tone he'd normally used to help him get up was gone.

After a long time, Lucius seemed to suddenly see the wheelchair next to the bed before realizing what he had done.He yelled and got off the bed in panic. While dragging Severus onto the bed with his paralyzed body, he said in panic, "Wrong, it wasn't you, it wasn't here, it wasn't a duel! I...Merlin, I hurt you!"

With tears in his eyes, Lucius helped Severus unbutton his pajamas with his right hand and his restless left hand, and began to check whether Severus was injured.

Severus looked sadly at Lucius who was trembling, and was a little relieved that his husband didn't intend to hurt him just now - Lucius just didn't know what he was doing.

After Lucius checked Severus' skin, he slowly got out of bed and curled himself up in a ball by the door. Lucius stared straight ahead and stated hoarsely, "I touched someone else, I hit you, you won't want me anymore."

Severus repeatedly assured Lucius that he didn't mean to blame Lucius at all, but the platinum-haired man didn't hear it and shrank in a corner trembling. Severus tried desperately to get up and pull Lucius into bed, but the muscle relaxant was still doing its job faithfully.

It took an unknown amount of time before Severus managed to get himself into the wheelchair.When he came to Lucius' side, he found helplessly that his husband had fallen asleep with tears in his eyes. Severus pulled a quilt from the bed over Lucius, slid out of the wheelchair himself, and shared the quilt with his sleeping husband.

The next morning, Severus woke up from the cold in bed.He knew he had a low-grade fever without needing a thermometer.

But Severus was happy in his heart: Lucius was hugging him tightly from behind right now.

There was a dreamy gleam in Lucius' eyes: "Wyvern, useful, warm. Severus is warm, soft."

Severus pulled Lucius' hands to his mouth, kissed her husband's hand, and said sincerely, "Lucius, you don't know how much I love your arms."

The light blond-haired man smiled and looked at his husband's face for a long time, but suddenly came to the side of the bed, limped and hid in the corner again: "I hit you, I hit you yesterday!"

In desperation, Severus dragged his body, which was weak due to fever, onto the wheelchair, came to Lucius, and hugged Lucius forcefully into his arms.Ignoring his physical discomfort, Severus begged Lucius once in the corner with his mouth and hands, dragged Lucius to the bed, and let his husband fuck him once.

Thanks to Severus' body limp from the low-grade fever, Lucius was finally convinced that he wasn't abandoned.

】

"How's your sex-life?" Dr. Lee asked the routine question again.

Severus licked his lips and said, "Very well, we are all happy after Lucius is willing to touch me."

【

Severus didn't know whether his sex-life was good, he just knew that he really needed to feel loved.

In most people's eyes, the paraplegic Severus should have absolutely no desires in that regard.But Severus himself knew that he still longed for Lucius.

Incomplete paraplegia left Severus with a modicum of sensation and control underneath.I don't know if it's a psychological effect, but when Lucius is in and out of his body, Severus actually occasionally feels blunt pleasure.

Lucius used to be a very gentle and skillful lover, but after the stroke, Lucius couldn't always control his movements.This created a situation where Lucius would accidentally hurt Severus.

To be honest, Severus didn't even hate the damage, because the lacerations that should have been excruciating pain were just dull numbness.That feeling made Severus feel...he was alive.

Although Severus' psychiatrist had encouraged his sex-life, it was the result of Severus hiding his proctologist's diagnosis from Dr. Lee. Severus had been formally warned that if his lacerations continued every two weeks or so, within a few years Severus would have to undergo an enterostomy and defecate in an artificial fecal bag.

Hence, every time Severus lay in bed preparing himself, he was filled with the guilt of drinking poison to quench his thirst.

】

After answering several more questions from Dr. Lee, Severus was finally released from the psych clinic.Before leaving the office, Severus tossed a painkiller into his mouth and rubbed his stiff shoulders.

【

Severus hoped his shoulder would last a few more years -- he didn't want to be forced to have shoulder replacement surgery anytime soon.

Severus knew that if he continued to use the manual wheelchair every day as he did now, he would definitely be aggravating the damage to his shoulder joint.However, if he uses an electric wheelchair, he will appear even more useless in the eyes of everyone.

God knows, when Severus was striding forward and looking down at the patients with severe arterial narrowing due to obesity and high cholesterol, those sugar addicts would honestly accept the operation according to Severus's suggestion.

Now, when the group of patients saw Severus, their first reaction was: "Can this man do it?" How could Severus' pride allow him to undergo an unsure operation?However, he himself knows that this kind of thing is useless, and he has to convince the patient to believe him.After a few times when patients put off surgery because they didn't trust him, and ended up having a stroke (and became Lucius' patient), Severus was even more reluctant to appear incompetent in front of patients.

Of course, there was another reason Severus didn't want to say: he didn't want to appear even more helpless in front of Lucius and Draco.

— God, when Lucius was doing well, he wouldn't even let me do my regular stress-reduction exercises.He said something like "your shoulders and hands are too precious", and rushed to hug me, patted my pressured parts, and helped my blood circulation...

——However, if I continue like this, after the shoulder replacement surgery, I'm afraid I won't even be able to get on the operating table, right?

】

Glancing at Lucius who was milling around the door excitedly, Severus put on a smile, hoping that what excited Lucius this time would not be too difficult.

——The last time Lucius was so excited, he picked up a light golden snake from the garden. The reptile that made the nurses scream and run away has now grown to more than a meter long at home. Lucius He had to hiss with the animal for a while when he got home, as if the two of them could really talk; the last time, Lucius caught a spider that was more than 20 centimeters long, and he was excited to share it with Severus. Animals whose scalps tingle just by looking at them; Lucius once caught a hare with his bare hands. Severus, who knew how many infectious diseases and parasites the hare might carry, had to spend a lot of effort to convince Lucius that wild animals could not Eat whatever you want, especially not raw...

The author has something to say: Hey, stepmothers (someone doesn’t need to look at others!), next time, I want to write something about HE’s light of hope in BE, what should I do?

[HP/Awake][LM/SS] Choice - BE Ending Awake Chapter-1

20. Awake of the BE ending

Note: In the following, the contents in "【】" are Severus' memories.

Awake

Glancing at Lucius who was milling around the door excitedly, Severus put on a smile, hoping that what excited Lucius this time would not be too difficult.

——The last time Lucius was so excited, he picked up a light golden snake from the garden. The reptile that made the nurses scream and run away has now grown to more than a meter long at home. Lucius He had to hiss with the animal for a while when he got home, as if the two of them could really talk; the last time, Lucius caught a spider that was more than 20 centimeters long, and he was excited to share it with Severus. Animals whose scalps tingle just by looking at them; Lucius once caught a hare with his bare hands. Severus, who knew how many infectious diseases and parasites the hare might carry, had to spend a lot of effort to convince Lucius that wild animals could not Eat whatever you want, especially not raw...

Sure enough, Lucius pulled out from under his shirt an animal of unknown species to Severus: a bird the size of a sparrow.It seemed that the bird was still in its infancy, and the golden and red feathers on its body were not fully grown, revealing golden down and wrinkled red skin.The bird's eyes are black, the golden beak looks soft, and the head is a bit like a turkey, with two tufts of down on the top.

Severus didn't know if Lucius wanted to adopt the bird now or cook it.He comforted himself: at least the bird is much better than the snake, at least the turkey won't make Minerva scream.

Lucius proudly held the little bird in front of Severus, and said happily, "Fawkes, Phoenix, I hatched it!"

Severus took the bird, hiding his helplessness and said, "Lucius, where did you get it? Will its family be anxious? Can we send it back?"

Lucius looked at Severus in confusion, thought for a long time before pointing to his belly and said, "I hatched it."

As if to verify Lucius' statement, the turkey-like bird raised its head and kissed Lucius' finger affectionately.

Severus sighed inwardly, wondering where Lucius got the egg that was about to hatch, and then Lucius caught up with the chick when it hatched, so the bird took Lucius as its mother.He smiled helplessly and said, "Okay, honey, we'll go buy a cage and food for it right away."

Hearing the word "cage", the golden-red bird jumped back to Lucius' hand.It raised its head proudly, as if to mean: "I don't want a cage!"

The black-haired doctor was amused all of a sudden: Well, as expected of being hatched by Lucius, he learned Lucius' temper so quickly!

Lucius poked the bird's round belly and said, "Fawkes, cuttlefish."

The turkey-like bird chirped in agreement.

"Okay, let's go get the cuttlefish.—Your name is Fawkes, isn't it?" Severus asked, scratching the bird's chin lightly.

Fawkes gave Severus a stupid look.

Severus felt as if he saw himself in the past.

【Severus knew that his temper was far from being so gentle in the past.In his younger years, he met all people with below average intelligence with contempt and contempt.Even after learning the hypocritical etiquette from Lucius, Severus treated his patient with civility and contempt in his heart.In the eyes of black-haired doctors who believe in social Darwinism, most of the patients who contribute to their own wallets have all kinds of weaknesses that need to be eliminated by evolution: congenital diabetes means genetic defects, acquired diabetes means poor diet, aneurysms Most represent arteriosclerosis, and arteriosclerosis is linked to poor living habits...

It was Lucius' illness that had nearly worn Severus' temper away.

When he just had a stroke, most of Lucius' body could not move, and he could only make babbling sounds, but his mind was still relatively clear.At that time, Severus was taking care of Lucius, who would try to smile with half of his face when he saw him, and thought happily: Fortunately, Lucius is still sane, otherwise, I would rather have him gone than suffer today .

After Lucius started rehabilitation, Lucius, who worked so hard to make Severus feel distressed, strengthened Severus' original idea: If things go on like this, Lucius can still be a useful person to the world.with luck