hot fire

一

The sunlight penetrated through the gaps in the curtains, and the breeze blowing made the light and shadow flicker on the bed.

In Taipei at the end of November, the weather is rare.

The alarm clock rang precisely at half past six.

"Xi..." Qi stretched out his hand, pressed the alarm clock next to the bed, and turned over to wake up the people around him.

"Hmm..." Xi poked her head out from under the quilt, obviously not getting enough sleep.

"Good morning." Qi smiled and kissed Xi's lips lightly.

"Morning." Xi replied sleepily, then rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom.

After making the bed, Qi also went into the bathroom.

"Are there many patients today?" She asked Xi who was brushing her teeth.

Xi thought for a few seconds, then nodded.Then he asked Qi the same question with his eyes.

"It's okay, it's just that there is a new intern coming today."

"Well, sometimes it's troublesome to take care of children." Xi spit out the bubbles in her mouth.

"Yeah, I can understand how you felt when you were annoyed by us." After Qi finished speaking, he put the toothbrush into his mouth.

"I'm annoyed by you, not including you." Xi said, pecking Qi on the face.

The two of them quickly cleaned up and went out, bought breakfast at a breakfast shop near their home, and Xi sent Qi to the bus station two stops away from the hospital. Even if their relationship recovered for more than a year, it was considered stable, but the two People are still cautious and low-key, and don't want people to have the opportunity to gossip.

"Remember to eat, see you tonight." They kissed each other quickly, then Qi got out of the car, and Xi continued to drive to the hospital.

Qi got out of the car and got on the bus directly behind. The place where Xi put her off, all the buses that stopped could go to the hospital, so sometimes she even got worse than Xi because of the rare virtue of "bus lanes". Get to the hospital early.

Xi, on the other hand, drives to and from get off work regularly every day. The car is parked in the parking lot of the hospital, and then she goes upstairs by the elevator closest to the psychiatric department, starting her busy day.

"Morning sister." When the elevator passed the first floor, Emily entered the elevator with a group of people.

Emily is the only person in the hospital who knows about the relationship between Xi and Qi.

Xi smiled at her.In crowded places, she seldom speaks.

The two got out of the elevator together and walked to the office side by side.

"Is Qi here too?" Emily asked in a low voice beside Xi.

Xi just nodded slightly. She didn't like that Emily was too "concerned" about her and Qi's affairs, but she also knew that Emily was a very important friend of Qi. During Qi's four years in the United States, Emily was by Qi's side.

Emily also knows that Xi doesn't like her asking too much, so she only makes sure that Qi has come to the hospital every morning, which is regarded as a daily concern, and she will ask Qi about other things, although sometimes Qi doesn't pay much attention to her.

However, life is only fun if there are some small gossip to listen to. Emily's thoughts are always pure and childlike, except when she has to be "professional".

"Emily, can you help me..." Xi started a busy day.

Qi also started a busy day.

In a blink of an eye, it has been more than two years since Qi returned to Taiwan, and he has also survived from R1 to R3 where he is about to start intern management.

Every time he faces a group of new interns, Qi can recall all the things he faced with Xi back then, the shyness of observing Xi from a distance at first; the anxiety of talking to Xi for the first time; ... Qi never knew that there were so many intersections between herself and Xi, much more than she originally thought.

"Sister, can I ask you a question?" A junior asked her with a self-confident smile.

"Yes, but if your question is too weak, I will refuse to answer." Qi's response was indifferent.

Compared with Xi, Qi may not be as cold as Xi, but he can't get close either.

All those rumors about Xi, now it's Qi's turn.

"Don't you find it bothering you about what's there?" Qi once asked Xi like this,

"Just don't bother with them. After you get used to it, it's nothing to worry about." Xi replied.

Qi often feels that although she is only one year old Xiaoxi, compared with others, she also looks mature, but in front of Xi, Qi still doesn't understand why Xi can always face everything calmly, except that she accidentally saw Xi Apart from being speechless, Xi is always so cold and unmoved that Qi sometimes can't help thinking: Does Xi really live in this world?Why is she so calm about everything that happened around her?

When he was about to get off work, Qi's cell phone rang, and a line notification appeared on the screen, it was Xi.

Xi∣Is there any way to leave early today?have a meal together.

With Qi around, Xi would rather take her work home than stay in the office for an extra second.

Qi∣Should be fine, wait for you at the bus stop?Qi will send back soon.

Xi∣[-]:[-].

The communication between them has always been like this, short and to the point, without redundant words.

Such a relationship may still be a relationship of "feeding" each other.

Nothing has changed, but maybe everything has changed.

Qi already doesn't care whether Xi admits it, or still avoids it, at least they are satisfied with the current "relationship".

Qi's eyes are still locked on Xi alone, and Xi, Qi doesn't know who is in Xi's eyes, but at least now, in Xi's eyes, she is there.

The two met in Xi's car on time, and Qi really liked Xi's natural smile in front of her, which would make the corners of her mouth rise.

"What are you laughing at?" Xi would always ask.

"You know it, I like to see you smile." Qi replied.

Xi smiled and shook her head, and the car drove away from the urban area.

Not long after, Xi's cell phone rang.

Xi is used to answering the phone with the built-in hands-free in the car. She doesn't care that Qi can hear her conversations with other people. For Xi, there seems to be nothing that Qi can't know.

Qi knows how many good friends Xi has, and he can count them with five fingers. They are all Xi's high school and college classmates. They know Xi well, but there are not many of them.Although Qi has never met them, Qi knows that they are all people Xi cares about.They are the only ones who know Xi's personal number. Xi, colleagues and supervisors in the hospital, only use the mobile phone provided by the hospital to communicate with them.

Xi is a person who is clear about public and private matters, and Qi is probably the only exception who knows both numbers.

After a burst of noise, a vague female voice appeared, "Are you busy?" This was a voice Qi had never heard before.

Xi froze for a moment.

"Hello? Areyouthere?" The other party asked again.

"Well, call again after ten o'clock in the evening, it's my time." After Xi finished speaking, she stretched out her hand and hung up the phone.

Qi didn't ask any more questions, Xi didn't take the initiative to say anything, she never asked.

Kittens don't need to know much.Qi always tells himself that.

But from the brief moment when Xi was stunned, Qi knew that person was "somebody" to Xi...

Will it be "that person" in your heart?Qi looked at Xi's profile while driving and asked in his heart.

After that, Xi acted as if the phone call didn't exist, everything was normal, as usual.Also the same as before, Xi never took the initiative to mention her own affairs.

Mr. Qi positions himself as a "kitten", just like what Xi said when he got her back.

If it is a "pet", then she will think that she is the happiest pet in the world. Although Xi has never said anything, she always takes good care of her. Follow Qi's every move.

Care without trace is often more happy and stable than spoken word promises.

Going home and working together after eating is the same "fixed itinerary" for two people. Sitting side by side at the desk, focusing on the screen, occasionally simple and intimate interactions in front of the eyes make the tedious work, because of the existence of the other party It has become a kind of companionship.

"I'm so tired." Qi leaned back on the back of the chair and stretched.

"Let's take a shower and rest when you're tired." Xi turned her head and said with a smile.

The two of them took turns taking a shower and were about to go to bed when Xi's cell phone rang.

Qi knew that it was the person who called in the car before.

Xi picked up the phone, frowned at the flickering screen, then got up from the bed, pushed the door out of the balcony, and then slid her finger across the screen to answer the phone.

Qi looked at Xi, this was the first time Xi avoided talking on the phone with her.

"Who is that person?" Qi muttered to himself while sitting on the bed.

Seeing from the room, Xi's expressionless face reminded Qi of the time when Xi coldly rejected her before she went abroad, even colder than that time.

Qi suddenly felt that the distance between her and Xi was so far away. At this time, Qi would always be cruelly reminded again that Xi had never let her into his heart.

Qi knows that Xi treats her very well, loves her very much, and gives her exclusive tenderness. Sometimes, Qi even feels that Xi doesn't care about other people except her...but the scene in front of him tells her mercilessly. She, that was just her illusion.

Always, in Xi's world, there is only herself.

Xi didn't talk for too long, and when she came back, she pulled back the quilt and lay down on the bed as if nothing had happened.

Qi looked at Xi with hesitant eyes, but never said anything.

"Don't worry, it's fine." As if feeling Qi's uneasiness, Xi reached out and held Qi's hand.

"En." Qi nodded, leaned on Xi's shoulder, and fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, Qi turned over, only to find that Xi was not on the bed.

Xi, who was wearing a coat, was smoking a cigarette on the balcony.

Qi knew that it was a sign that Xi was in a bad mood.There have been several times before, when a patient passed away, or when a senior doctor made unreasonable demands.

But this time, Qi knew that it was because of the phone call.

Qi got out of bed, hesitated for a while, and walked quietly to Xi's side.

"What's wrong?" Qi asked cautiously.

"Nothing." Xi shook her head gently.

"It's no wonder, you only smoke when you are in a bad mood." Unknowingly where the courage came from, Qi took the still burning cigarette from Xi's fingers, and took a puff himself.

"Okay, stop making trouble." Xi softly reprimanded her, but did not take back the cigarette.

Xi just stood up, propped her hands on the wall, and looked at the distant place quietly.

Qi put out the cigarette, walked behind Xi, put his arms around Xi, and Xi leaned gently on Qi.

"Little cat, what do you think of me?" Xi asked suddenly.

Qi knew that when Xi called her "kitten", it was when Xi disarmed and came closest to her.

"Why do you ask this suddenly?" Qi was puzzled, and he never thought that Xi would ask such a question.

"I suddenly thought of it, so I asked." Xi shrugged.

"Well... you are Xi, a safe haven, and warmth... I haven't thought about this problem in particular, I just feel very comfortable staying by your side... Is it like this." Qi replied, because of her previous experience, she was cautious Yes, omitting all words about feelings.

But what he said was still the most real feeling Xi gave her.

"What if I'm not what you think? I'm not perfect, and I have nothing to be proud of..." Xi turned around, looked into Qi's eyes, and covered her cheek with her hand.

"So what? You are Xi." Qi gently rubbed Xi's hand.

Xi put her arms around Qi, leaned on her shoulder, and said nothing.

"Cat." After a long time, Qi opened his mouth.She knew that Xi at this moment was a cat.

"Warm." Xi whispered in Qi's ear, with a smile in her words.

"Xi," Qi said, "Many times, the reason we care about a person is simply that we can find warmth and courage to move forward from her every move, every frown and smile, that's all."

Xi raised her head and looked at Qi, "But sometimes, it also makes us worry about gains and losses, even pain, doesn't it?"

Qi was stunned, she didn't expect Xi to respond to her like this, this was the first time she felt an atmosphere from Xi that she had never felt so clearly - despair.

Then Xi let go of Qi and entered the room, Qi followed behind her, returned to the bed quietly and obediently, and lay down beside Xi.

"Little cat, how have you lived all these years by yourself? Especially on those days when everyone was reunited?" Xi turned her head and looked at her and asked.

"Did you tell me when you were alone?"

Xi nodded.

"When I'm alone... just live alone, don't think about anything in particular, it's nothing special." Qi said in a tone of "no big deal".

"Do you have any other relatives?" Xi asked again.

"Dear ones...how do you define relatives? Is there a blood relationship? Yes, I have an uncle and two aunts."

Qi was surprised by Xi's sudden "curiosity", but she still answered Xi's question obediently.

"What about them?" Xi continued to ask.

"I left after knowing how I "make money"...Maybe I thought I was dirty, and then lost contact." Qi's eyes darkened, and he shrugged indifferently.

"Little cat, you are not dirty, because I washed you very clean." Xi stretched out his hand and took Qi into his arms, and said gently kissing Qi's forehead.

"Sometimes, Xi is more like my relatives." Qi said leaning in Xi's arms.

Xi put her arms around Qi and didn't reply.

"I went to Australia with you during the Chinese New Year. It's the first time in more than ten years that I don't feel lonely during the Chinese New Year." Qi curled up in Xi's arms, just like Xi said, a kitten.

That was the New Year that even Xi felt happy.

The two go somewhere where no one knows them, like couples on vacation abroad.

Flying away from Taipei, which is always cloudy and rainy, to the Gold Coast in summer, it was the first time for Qi to see Xi so relaxed.There is no pursuit of hospitals, patients, or medical records, and simply enjoy the feeling of "vacation".

Walking down the street with fingers intertwined, eating a share of food and drinking a drink together intimately, those things that lovers would do, those intimacy that never appeared in front of people in Taiwan, it seems that the ban has been lifted in Australia. Caring about the eyes of passers-by, Qi could feel that all of Xi's eyes and attention were focused on her.

That was Qi's dream, the feeling of "belonging" to Xi.

Even, when they were accosted by several boys with charming blue eyes on the beach with sunny smiles, Xi only gave him a smile that was enough to captivate everyone, then turned her head and kissed Qi without hesitation lips.

They ignore the existence of passers-by on the beach and focus on kissing each other.

"Kitten." At the end of the kiss, Xi said against Qi's lips.

The five-day vacation seemed to be a gift from Xi to Qi. Although it was short, at least they were the only ones in each other's eyes.In that strange country.

"What about Xi? Where are Xi's relatives?" Qi asked looking up at Xi.

"It's getting late, go to bed first, we'll talk about it another day." After Xi finished speaking, she kissed Qi on the forehead, hugged her like a kitten, and fell asleep.

Qi is in Xi's arms, listening to Xi's heartbeat. At this moment, she is the person closest to Xi's heart, but she is still outside and has never entered Xi's heart.