Sugar paper

I will never forget that kiss as long as I live.

Apple flavored.

He closed his eyes and sucked my lips softly.I couldn't close my eyes the whole time.

After the kiss, he said he was going to take a shower and go to bed, and asked me to go back early.

I stood at a loss for a while, not knowing what he meant.

He turned to me and said, "Did you graduate from junior high school?"

I nodded blankly.

"Do you want to stay here forever?"

I don't know what he means, is he trying to keep me?Like my sister was bagged out before?I thought he meant that, as long as I can be with him, I can do whatever I want, even if I take care of him, I immediately shook my head resolutely, expressing that I don't want to stay in the guild hall for the rest of my life.

"Then you go to take the IELTS test first. I will consider when you get 7.5 in IELTS. I will reimburse you the test fee."

I nodded numbly, not knowing where this was going.I didn't even know what IELTS was at that time.

When I think about it now, I don't know whether to be grateful to him or to resent him.I was originally a person in an iron cage. Because of my ignorance, I felt no pain, just like what Mr. Lu Xun said about a person who was about to suffocate in an iron cage, but he woke me up and told me to go out. In the cage, I found that the road was full of broken glass, and I found that there were many things that I could do nothing with all my strength, so I became more awake and more painful.I don't know whether to be grateful to him for keeping me awake or to resent him for making me miserable.

In any case, I regarded him as a god at that time and did not want to disappoint him.

I bought vocabulary books, downloaded listening materials on my mobile phone, and bought countless teaching aids.My foundation is very poor, and I have long been unwilling to study, but because of his words, I feel full of hope.But I ignored it at that time. In fact, he didn't make any promises.

I studied very hard, because I still have to work in the guild hall, and the time is fragmented, and it is difficult to have a whole block of time to calm down.In the middle, there were even two times when the money was deducted because I was too absorbed in listening and did not hear the order of the foreman.

After Du Chaoan heard about it, he directly asked me to ask for leave from the foreman. He said that he would pay me the salary, and I could use the room he rented out to study there, but it was only for three months.If I can't get a 7.5 in three months, everything doesn't count.

I have never tried to study so hard.

I learned that my eyes are blurred, my head is dizzy, and my dreams are all memorized words during the day. When I take a nap during a nap, I will cry when I can’t understand.Then I took the test for the first time and got 6.5 in the test. I was ecstatic that the hard work of this month and a half was not in vain, and I was also panicked. At that time, there was still one and a half months before the three-month appointment.

I didn't dare to sleep, and I didn't even have the appetite to eat. I was especially afraid that I would fail the test he set.

But many things really cannot be improved in a short period of time, and miracles do not happen to people like me.

Getting 6.5 in the exam is already far beyond my ability. I should be thankful for getting a 7 in the next exam. The more I want to improve, the harder it is.Until the end of three months, I did not get a 7.5.I was crying when I went to see Du Chaoan.

Du Chaoan was very busy that day, talking business in English with people on the phone.

After he hung up the phone, he said to me who was still choked with sobs, "Can you roughly retell what I just said in Chinese?"

I nodded hesitantly, and only repeated about [-]% or [-]% of what I said.There is still a big difference between the English in the test and the English in practice, and listening is my weak point.

I thought we were all over.Head down sad.Suddenly, I felt a hand rubbing my hair.

Du Chaoan smiled softly: "Don't cry, you have made great progress. Although you haven't reached 7.5, I have seen your efforts. My company has a lot of business with the UK now, and I may basically stay here in two months. I'm in England, would you like to come with me?"

I looked at him blankly, and he took out a tissue to wipe my tears.

"Really...really?"

"I never lie to you."

"But why..."

"Because you look cute when you cry." He glanced at me, then went to call his phone again.

So there it is.

Inexplicably, it seems that the hand of fate is pushing it, and it seems that I have earned it by myself.

I don't want to stay in the guild hall. On the one hand, I really like Du Chaoan. I was very young at the time, and my thoughts were not complicated. I think I like him, and I just want to be with him forever.On the one hand, it is also because I am already tired of the life in the guild hall, a life with no hope at all.

That's when I started to believe in miracles.It will really appear, appearing in people like me who are ordinary, without any shining point, living in the mud.

My sister didn't respond at all to my going with Du Chaoan.

She said with a half smile, "I wish you never to come back."

Then she asked Du Chaoan for a large sum of money, and she said that she would treat me as dead, and the money would be my insurance compensation, and she should have some compensation for pulling me up.

I went to the UK to study the preparatory school first, and Du Chaoan helped me arrange the school.

I live with Du Chaoan.

My homework foundation is very poor, so it is very difficult to learn. Du Chaoan will teach me some homework when he is free.I still remember when I was studying mathematics, there were some Latin letters, and I always pronounced them with a blunt accent. Du Chaoan corrected me while laughing. I got up, and later, in order to make him laugh, I sometimes deliberately pretended to be stupid.But he can't always pretend to be stupid, he actually likes smart people.

I remember that there was a school event where everyone was required to bring snacks, and they had to complete it with their parents.At that time, Du Chaoan's business in Europe was gradually expanding, and it was a thousand times busier than before.Even if we live in the same house, we rarely meet each other and talk a little more.

I left a small note on the refrigerator saying that I will bring homemade snacks next week. If he is not free, I will buy two by myself. I can make up my impressions.

I was hoping he could see it.

Then at two o'clock in the middle of the night, he knocked on my door and woke me up from the bed. He said: "I have to catch a plane at six o'clock and go on a business trip for a week. If you want me to do it with you, crawl now." stand up."

I just put on some clothes and followed him to the kitchen.

He checked several menus with an iPad, then found the ingredients from the kitchen, and began to knead the flour clumsily. He was busy with work at that time, and he didn’t really get enough sleep. Just fell asleep on the sofa.

I have been in England for a year and he has made no advances to me.But when it comes to details, he is so provocative and distracting.He provided for my food, clothing, housing and transportation, but he never said that he wanted anything from me.I'd rather he wants something from me.But he is too strong and I am too weak. Even if he asks for something, I cannot help him.

Maybe he just had good intentions, seeing a young man with a bleak future had a heart of compassion, and used me to do good deeds.But at that time, I was looking for evidence that he liked me every night, deceiving myself and others, I thought he didn't want to have anything to do with minors, he didn't want to hurt me.In this fantasy, I made him perfect and loved him even more.This is a cycle.

The change in our relationship was also at the end of that year. He finally had some free time. I vaguely remember that he won a big project.He was in a good mood talking on the phone at home at night, and vaguely I heard him asking someone to go to the bar and asking someone to find a cleaner boy to accompany him.I understand what he means.

Of course I know that he is not the kind of person who guards his body like a jade.He is very open about sex, both of them can afford to have fun with each other, both of them are healthy and healthy, and they can have fun without their other half.Anyway, it's all about having fun, and strangers are safe.

When he was about to go out, I stopped him and didn't allow him to go.

In fact, I have no such position.

My hands were shaking when I stopped him, I was afraid that he would expose that I was not qualified to take care of his affairs, and I was not his anyone.

But youthful spirits always act impulsively, my hands are one step ahead of my brain, and of course there is no way out.

I said: "Don't look for others, am I not good? Am I not good-looking? Am I not clean? Isn't it the way you like?"

Du Chaoan was a little annoyed and a little funny and said: "You can't afford it. I just want to find friends with benefits. It's not good for both of us if you get stuck."

I said, "Then why did you bring me here from China all the way, since you don't want me!"

He thought for a while and said, "I brought you here because I thought it was good for you. After studying for so long, you have broadened your horizons a lot. Why do you still stick to this kind of thing? You will have a very good future." , don’t waste it on me.”

He was right, he never lied to me.He didn't mind at all what the truth did to me.He has enough confidence to always tell the truth.This really hurts me more than lying to me.

You lie because you are afraid of losing. Only when you are facing the cats, dogs, tables and chairs at home, you are afraid of exposing your ugliness and selfishness.

I said angrily: "Then I'll be your friend with benefits and your bed partner. Don't think too much, I'm so young, maybe I won't like you in a few years! I'll fall in love with someone else! Who will fall in love with you?" It’s not sure how deep it is!”

He leaned against the door frame, his nose straight in the sun and his lips thin.

He seemed to weigh the credibility of my words.Finally he said, "You go take a shower first, I'll make a call."

After clarifying, our relationship entered a new chapter without any buffer.

Sitting in the bathtub, my mind was in chaos, not knowing what I said or did just now.Du Chaoan came in directly.

He took off his clothes as he walked towards me, and when he came to me, he was gone.

He turned on the shower over the tub and the water sprayed all over my face and I couldn't keep my eyes open for a moment.

I felt him sit in, and before I wiped the water from my eyes with my hands, his lips were already close and began to kiss my neck.

I put my arms around him, accepting the gift of his lips and teeth.

His kisses were wet, as was the shower water.

I am a fallen leaf in the heavy rain.

He didn't kiss my mouth, but kept rubbing his lips against my earlobe, neck, and the sensitive zone of my collarbone.I was hard when he started kissing me.Du Chaoan seemed to have smiled, he said that young people are amazing, they are hard when touched.I blushed and kissed his cheek.

He made me lie on my back on the edge of the bathtub, and the whole body pressed up from behind me, and I felt his heavy organ rubbing against my back.But he didn't move for a long time, he just gnawed at my back.

I grabbed his hand a little eagerly, hoping he would help me soothe the swelling underneath.

My frankness amused him, and he told me to be good and not to worry.

Then we continued to kiss passionately in the back hug position, and his fingers were wrapped in lubricating fluid and began to mess.My legs are weak, my body has been drained of strength, I am a fallen leaf whose veins have been drained.

I began to moan softly, half-truthfully.I know moaning is aphrodisiac.

I grab his genitals with my hands behind my back and rub my hips there flatteringly.

But he just fiddled with his fingers slowly until he felt it was soft and moist enough that he tried to put his murder weapon in there.

It hurts a lot.The moment of entering was like Ling Chi, and I straightened my spine instantly.

He hugged me, straightened up and completely submerged.Cold sweat broke out on my forehead.

But at this time, I somehow thought of those MBs in the clubhouse who used to be gay men. I don’t know if they are also like this when they have sex with others.

However, Du Chaoan didn't allow me to be distracted. Before I could recover, he slammed into my inside at a fast pace. My entire upper body seemed to be squeezed out of the bathtub, and my soul was about to be knocked out of my internal organs.I begged him to be slower, and I begged him to be faster.I don't know whether I want him to be fast or slow.

He put his fingers into my mouth and stirred my tongue, I obsequiously hooked my tongue around his fingers, trying to lower my waist to provide him with the most convenient position.

I feel like water has started to come out from under me, it's all wet.The corners of my eyes have been stimulated to tears.The bathroom was full of obscene cracking and my moaning.I was masturbating by myself, but he found out, and he pinned my hands to my back again, not allowing me to touch my lower body.

My front is hard and uncomfortable, and my back is empty and uncomfortable.

Fortunately, he is really an old hand on the bed. After a while, he was able to find my sensitive spot and poked it hard. My moaning voice changed, and I lay limp in his arms.He lifted me out of the water in a shameful gesture of urinating for a child, holding my two legs, and my lower body was still tightly connected.

I was ashamed and indignant at this position, and felt a strange pleasure at the same time.The water under us has gradually cooled, but our bodies are still hot.When I didn't realize it, a thread in the back of my head seemed to snap, and by the time I realized it, I had ejaculated.Was shot by Du Chaoan.

Du Chaoan turned me around so that I could see the muscles on his body, and I was embarrassed because I was lean and had no muscle mass.He wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes when I came, and then pressed me into the bathtub, continuing to move my waist.After a while, he also pulled out and released, and the white cloudy liquid sprayed on my collarbone.He lay quietly on top of me for a while.

He said, "Ruan Yu, you are pink."

We both did, and the realization made me happy.Even when he made me cry, it gave me a sense of security.

Because it is him.

After we caught our breath, we quickly cleaned up and went back to bed.

Du Chaoan said: "I don't have the habit of spending the night with my girlfriend. Would you like to sit down and go back to your room? Call me if something feels uncomfortable, is that okay?"

I said yes, then hugged the clothes I had taken off, and walked back to the room naked step by step.

I have traces of him all over me, and I feel happy.

He has nothing but a bed partner, and I can be that bed partner.It was a conspiracy I was playing on my own. At that time, I still had unrealistic fantasies, such as maybe making love would make feelings, friends with benefits can become true love, as written in all vulgar scripts, one day He was willing to really accept me.

Maybe some people in this world are really so lucky, but it won't be me. My miracles were exhausted when I met Du Chaoan.

three.

Du Chaoan's desire is very strong, and he will show it when he can't tell.

Probably because he realized that there is a bed partner available at home at any time, which is safe and secure, and much more convenient than going outside, so he gradually stopped looking for someone outside.

Those four years were the happiest of my life.

I even had the illusion that we were in love.

At that time, I was a young boy who had just grown up, and I couldn't help flirting, and I could make a fire with just touching it, and even smell Du Chaoan's smell, and I could be in heat.

We did it on the counter, with cream on my nipple and he licked it hard until it was red and hard.I was hugged and sat on the stage, with my legs spread open, revealing the pink place where his fingers were puffed out. I let him look at me. My clothes were all stripped off, while he was still wearing formal clothes, only revealing the extremely sinister organs.

We also did it in the study room. When he had a meeting with the human voice, I lay down between his knees, licked him, and listened to his depressed gasp.After he hangs up, hold me in his lap and let him plant strawberries on my neck.

We did it in the car too, the car ended up smelling of semen, we were both sweaty and wet hugging and panting.I wear a choker around my neck, handcuffs on my hands, and a fluffy tail hanging from my buttocks. During sex, I can only say "meow" and nothing else.

His company's toilets have also been done.I went to deliver documents to him, pulled him into the toilet cubicle and let him fuck me, I kept whispering nonsense to him in Chinese in a low voice, he was very excited that day, bit a very big one on my back shoulder Big teeth marks.It took four or five days to barely disappear.

We're really on good terms with each other in bed.Of course, it's mainly because I can do anything, as long as he wants to try, I can do it, and I don't care about shame at all.

Other than that, those four years were peaceful and happy.Since he was so busy, we basically had more than half an hour together when we had sex.Every time he travels on business, he brings me all kinds of candies.

In those four years, we only spent the Spring Festival together once.I went to Chinatown to buy red paper, and I ground and wrote Spring Festival couplets at home.Du Chaoan used to laugh at my handwriting as if it was chewed by a dog, so after I arrived in the UK, I practiced handwriting every day before going to bed, as if I was angry.After two or three years of practice, there has been a big improvement, and I have also experienced the joy of being calm.

I asked Du Chaoan what to write.

Du Chaoan wore a gray overcoat that day, and sat in the study with rare leisure to drink tea. He said: "People follow the spring, and the new year is bright and new."

After I moved the brush again and again, he finished it in one go. He looked at it, raised his eyebrows and said, "It's impressive. I'm still thinking about your dog crawling and wanting to write Spring Festival couplets. Is it because the British education emphasizes self-confidence too much, and it makes you feel conceited."

I smiled very silly, like a puppy with a bone, and wrote a lot of blessings in one breath.When I was about to post it, I asked, "Where to post it?"

He said indifferently: "The Spring Festival couplets don't quite match this small mansion, do they? If you really want to post them, you can put one on the garage door."

I was very disappointed, but what he said was not unreasonable. It is true that there is no Chinese New Year atmosphere here. It is really strange that the whole area is just us with red Spring Festival couplets.However, after writing so much, it would be a pity to throw it away. I picked the most satisfying blessing and pasted it on the garage door.But I forgot that the garage door is an electric roller door. After rolling it twice, the blessing is out of shape and shattered in the wind.

After I went to university, because the school was in another city in England, I had to leave his residence.

He gave me a lot of money, bought me a car, and rented a house for me.Anyway, I've never been short of money.

After I went to college, the chances of seeing each other dropped sharply. Du Chaoan said that it was inconvenient to go back, and I should start my life.

"I'll take it as if you are repaying me for supporting you for your education. You can try to find a boyfriend of the same age. I don't mind. You can end our relationship whenever you want."

At that time, I was very stupid, thinking that the initiative really belonged to me, but it was not, the initiative was in the hands of the person who did not love so much.I will never choose to end unless Du Chaoan doesn't need it anymore.He is the one who is really in control.

When I returned to Du Chaoan's house during my sophomore year vacation, I realized that I was no longer what he needed. I was a bed partner, and a bed partner could be replaced.I go to school, he needs someone to comfort him.

What's more, he made it very clear that he will not interfere with my finding a boyfriend, and the subtext is that I cannot interfere with his finding a boyfriend.I knew in my heart that even if I sold my ass and changed someone else, I would not be able to earn the money Du Chaoan spent on me these few years, and I might not even be able to afford the car he gave me.I really have no right to complain about his scum, because he really doesn't owe me anything.He never made things difficult for me, never lied to me, he said from the very beginning that he would only treat me as a friend with benefits, I was attached to his gentleness, gave myself false appearances, and indulged in fantasy, who can be blamed.

That day was also the eve of the Chinese New Year, and when I returned home, I was very happy, holding my transcript with all excellent grades. I felt that I had lived up to Du Chaoan’s expectations. In a sense, I was excellent.I might be worthy of him one day.

At that time, I had gradually realized the joy of learning and realized how narrow my previous life was.But I still couldn't get out of the circle Du Chaoan drew for me.

Du Chaoan was surprised when I opened the door.

I was about to run over to give him a hug when I saw a shirtless man in his late 30s coming down the stairs.

There are signs of sex on him.

I feel like an awl has stabbed my central nervous system.I couldn't say a word for almost 2 minutes.

Du Chaoan said to the man, "This is a student I sponsored, and they came to pay New Year's greetings."

The man smiled sheepishly, and said, "I'm sorry, I don't have any clothes on. My name is Fu Guangxin, and I'm Guangxin who is in Xiaoguangxin every year."

a bolt from the blue.

I think my complexion is not very good, but I have always been self-aware, and I will never cause trouble for Du Chaoan.I said, "I was a little bit motion sick just now. I'm sorry. My name is Ruan Yu, and I'm a student sponsored by Teacher Du."

I was fidgeting at Du Chaoan's house for an hour. Du Chaoan chatted and laughed with Fu Guangxin. They talked about the stock market, the gossip about the head of a certain group, and the current market situation.They really hit it off.

I found that my self-importance was completely useless, and I couldn't understand the jargon in their mouths.My straight A's were in literary history, not financial business.Du Chaoan and I have never been in the same world.

I couldn't get in a word, Fu Guangxin seemed to have just discovered my existence, and said awkwardly: "I'm sorry, I'm a bit chatty, and I can't stop the car when I talk about our industry."

Du Chaoan deliberately joked: "Teacher Fu is a giant in the industry, the more you talk, the more I will be taught."

Fu Guangxin held back his laughter and said, "I'm going to put on some clothes and pour tea. You should talk to the guests more. Why are you always talking to me?"

After Fu Guangxin left, Du Chaoan asked me how I was doing.

I said it was fine, and finally asked a little impatiently, "Does he live here?"

Du Chaoan’s eyes were full of emotions that I had never seen before. He said, “Probably not, but he might stay overnight.” Then he said to me, “I want to enter a more formal relationship, do you understand what I mean?”

I nodded and grabbed my fingers desperately.

I said, "Then my room...would it be a misunderstanding for him?"

I secretly hoped that Fu Guangxin would know about my relationship with Du Chaoan, and would be jealous and angry about it.

However, Du Chaoan said: "After you went to school, I felt that your room might not be useful, so someone put away your things and put them in the warehouse. You can take them away when you are free."

A basin of cold water poured over his head.

This is a tactful order to chase away guests, and I am not an uninformed person.A drop of tear fell, and I quickly wiped it away while Du Chaoan was not paying attention, and said, "I'll go to the warehouse to have a look, and I'll take away the useful ones today, and throw away the rest for me next time. I'll tonight Back to school."

I took a biscuit box from the warehouse, which contained all the candy wrappers that Du Chaoan brought back for me.I don't want anything else.

I waved goodbye to Du Chaoan and walked out of the yard with my suitcase. I couldn't help but look back when I was about to leave.

He is no longer watching me.Fu Guangxin hugged him at the door, and they had sweet smiles on their faces.

His relationship with Fu Guangxin lasted almost two years.Just when I thought they might be so in love forever, they broke up.

The heart is not without ecstasy.

I human flesh Fu Guangxin online. I know that he comes from a superior background and a good family background. Whether it is education, family background or ability level, he is a man of the same world as Du Chaoan.But they did not come together in the end.I chuckled like a clown.

During the two years when Du Chaoan and Fu Guangxin were together, I only met Du Chaoan once. He paid me a high tuition fee, and then encouraged me, saying that my grades were very good, and he hoped that I would continue my favorite career. can always be funded.We had dinner together that day, and I didn't know what to eat. Halfway through, he received a call from Fu Guangxin. He lowered his eyebrows and lowered his eyes like I had never seen before.So I know that he really never loved me,

Maybe liked it, maybe wanted to tease it.But not love.

Knowing that the two of them broke up is because I saw an interview with Fu Guangxin on the magazine, he was with his gay man, not Du Chaoan.For more than half a year after that, Du Chaoan and I have not met each other.

When we met again, I was already a graduate student, and I had changed a lot since then.

During the three years when I broke up with Du Chaoan, I had many bed partners myself.The standard for finding a bed partner is absolutely not to be like Du Chaoan, so I reject all Asians and mature men in their 30s.The one who lasted for a long time was a little brother from Italy.He is a muscular boy who unexpectedly likes to eat ice cream.

He followed me to learn Chinese, and I followed him to learn Italian, chatting about Chinese literature and Italian literature, and then laughed at each other's strange pronunciation.

Sometimes the atmosphere is better after going to bed, we will smoke together, he is especially good at blowing smoke rings, and sometimes he will perform for me.

He said, "You are so strange, you don't love me."

I laughed: "What's so strange about this, we are friends with benefits, have you ever heard that friends with benefits have love?"

He took a puff of cigarette and said, "No, it's different, I feel that you are very lonely."

I said, "If you're not lonely, why do you want to have sex?"

He shrugged and said, "Sometimes you look at me and I think you're looking for someone else through me."

I said, "Your eyes are really poisonous." After putting out the cigarette, I said, "I think everyone has someone they want, don't they?"

He said: "Haha, why get it, it's enough to go to bed."

I said: "It's not the same. Some people exist just to keep you from getting it, not enough to go to bed, and not enough to confess. They just want to stimulate you in the dead of night and keep you from falling asleep. But you think you may dream Him, you will be so eager to sleep again."

He rolled over and hugged me, and sang an Italian nursery rhyme to me.

Later, the Italian brother graduated and returned to Italy. He finally said to me: "We have never kissed in sex, and now we are saying goodbye. Can you give me a goodbye kiss?"

I said no, but you can play handguns.

He smiled and said, "No need, I put two tubs of ice cream at your house, and I haven't finished them all. Remember to eat them, don't waste them. Count them as a gift from me."

I have never liked ice cream, so I didn't take it seriously. After almost half a year, I finally opened one of the buckets and found a note in it. He wrote in Italian: "I like you, but you have someone else in your heart. If When do you forget about him, come to me. But you have to act fast, I won't wait for you for 100 years."

I crouched on the ground and finally cried out.