dark white and light black

After recovering from my illness, I quickly submitted my resignation letter to the company, and then quickly found a new job, leaving myself almost no breathing room.

Now that I have made up my mind to bid farewell to the past completely, I will not give myself any chance.

On the day I left the company, Sui Yuan blocked me at the entrance of the parking lot, as if he wanted to say something to me...

I smiled wryly, what else can I say?Didn't you tell me all about it?

"I know you don't want to see me, I'm leaving, you can feel at ease.", I didn't give him any chance to justify, so I drove away without looking back.

Time seems to have passed for a long time, so long that I can't remember clearly...

What does it matter?Anyway, there is no expectation in my heart, no love or hate, nothing.

It's nothing more than living like a walking dead. No matter how long or short the time is, what's the difference?

One night, I had a strange dream—I rarely dream, or even if I do, I can seldom remember it—I dreamed that I was standing on a large grassland, and looking around, there was only I was alone and I was scared and tried to find company.I ran in a panic on the grassland and suddenly fell into a trap. The trap was dark and deep. I fell in the air for a long time before I finally landed on the ground.I searched for the exit in the trap, but suddenly I heard the cry of a wild animal behind me.I looked at the beast and found that the beast turned into a man.Its terrifying face gradually flattened, and finally transformed into Sui Yuan's appearance.Suddenly I was not afraid in my heart, and I smiled at him, from the bottom of my heart, and got what I wanted.But Sui Yuan looked at my face, but suddenly became furious. He shouted at me: "Get out! You pervert! You're gay! Get as far away as possible! Otherwise, I'll hit you every time I see you..."

Maybe Sui Yuan's appearance in the dream was too ferocious, or maybe the dream was too frightening——I suddenly woke up from the dream.

The scene after waking up made me feel even more bizarre - I was actually sitting at the desk, holding a pen in my left hand, writing on a piece of pink letter paper that came out of nowhere, and the handwriting on the letter paper was crooked , it hurts my eyes...

It said - "Wang Ye, goodbye."

I turned around and saw myself in the full-length mirror—the person inside had bloodshot eyes and a tired face, like a bloodthirsty devil, looking creepy under the dim moonlight...

For the first time in my life I felt the chills.

It turns out that everything can’t be counted, and those bits and pieces of ups and downs that I thought I was young were all fake.That short period of joy and that long period of pain are also fake...

I have always been used to shutting myself up because I am afraid of being deceived.But I have been living in deception all the time—being deceived by myself...

Is there anything more ridiculous than this?

How could I forget why our family has always lived on the ground floor?

My grandfather passed away that year when he stepped on the air and fell down the stairs while sleepwalking—I was only six years old that year.

That day, I sat at the desk from midnight to early morning.

I lay down on the table and cried for a while, laughed for a while, then picked up a pen and wrote a long letter to Sui Yuan.

In the letter, I apologize to him—I apologize for my complaints and expectations for him over the years; I apologize for the impolite question not long ago; I apologize for those pink letterheads; I apologize for my obsession...I ask him forgive me.

"It doesn't matter if you don't forgive, it's my fault.", I said in the letter.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth, went out for a run, passed by the mailbox and mailed the letter.

I went home and went to the bathroom, took a shower, shaved, put a pool full of hot water, and lay in it.

Then, I took off the razor blade and lightly scratched the wrist of my left hand...

The hot water made the pores of my whole body very comfortable, I smiled quietly and closed my eyes...

The author has something to say: There are several endings~~~

The reversal is so precise~~~