Jiang Hao

ready. "

"You never mentioned it to me." Cai Xia spoke slowly, carefully chewing the few words I just said.

"I've told you so much about things that don't even come out of the horoscope, so you don't have to think about it."

"..." Cai Xia is smart, and it is impossible to fool the past with a few words, "So, do you want to tell me when you really decide to go abroad? Or do you want to make sure you can go out after the English test? Tell me again? Or... after you applied to the school?" Cai Xia's reaction was exactly what I thought, he paused, and added, "Brother Kun, what should we do?"

It didn't make sense, so I stood up and gave him a wink, telling him to follow me, "I'll talk about it later."

I took Cai Xia back to the dormitory.

On Friday afternoon, the instructors' dormitory was full of students who came to ask for leave for the weekend, and there were many people coming and going.I walked with my head down and didn't say much.

After entering the room, I turned and closed the door, looked at Cai Xia and said, "Can we talk about this later, I have an exam next week, so I really don't have time."

"..." Cai Xia couldn't hold back anymore, with tears in his eyes, "Brother Kun, why are you so selfish?"

Cai Xia never said that to me.The selfishness in me has caused the current situation, and I hate it deeply, but I am powerless to break free.But when the word came out of Cai Xia's mouth, I couldn't bear it.

The darkest side of my heart was exposed. I was panicked at the moment, and subconsciously blurted out, "If you think I'm selfish, get out of my way and never come again." After I finished speaking, I began to regret it, and I wished I could swallow this sentence.

This kind of regret is unprecedented and has never appeared between me and Cai Xia.

Cai Xia looked at me in shock, tears welling up in her eyes, "You...say it again."

"..." I was silent, unable to open my mouth, "I..."

"Don't say it," Cai Xia came over and hugged me hard, rubbing against my arms, "Don't say it, Brother Kun."

Cai Xia has been with me for the past two years, I bought him a lot of things, and I also paid for the usual expenses for going out.

These things have definitely improved Cai Xia's life. From a certain level, I have also found some balance because of these material sacrifices, the balance against the guilt in my heart.

But at this moment, he hugged me with all his strength in his arms. Compared with my so-called material sacrifice, that kind of emotional catharsis is very different.

I really looked up to myself and looked down on him for the innocuous money in exchange for his affection.

We went to bed, on my flimsy dorm bed.

The corridor outside was filled with the voices of students talking, Cai Xia was crying silently, and I was extremely excited.I put my arms around Cai Xia, wanting to melt him into my body.His body clamped around me, and it was difficult to breathe.

Don't go abroad... During the climax, he repeated this sentence.

I was infected by the atmosphere, and responded with my mouth, okay, don't go.

He's too smart to believe what I promise when I ejaculate; I'm too selfish to say a word that doesn't come close.

Cai Xia wasn't going to spend the night in my room, we fucked twice, after that he got up and got dressed and stopped talking to me.

When I walked to the place where the school bus departed, I said to him, "Why don't I put you on the school bus, so you don't go out to take the bus."

Cai Xia glanced at me, turned around and continued walking towards the school gate.

I followed quickly, seeing that there were no people around, I took his arm and made him look at me, "Talking to you, people go back on Fridays, and there must be more people on the bus."

"It's okay." Cai Xia shook off my hand and added, "I can go back as I came here."

He purposely tossed himself to make me feel uncomfortable and feel bad. This behavior was just like every time I went to Jiang Hao, and he deliberately made the other party unhappy.

I was a little angry, but after all, I had only spent an afternoon with him, and I couldn't bear it anymore. I turned around and stopped in front of him, "Then don't go back... Either stay in my room, or listen to me, and go back on the school bus."

Cai Xia looked at me, as if he was struggling whether to continue the behavior just now.If he said something similar to 'Brother Kun, why are you pretending to care about me so much now? ', I might really turn around and go back to the study room.

I don't know, but in my heart I hope he doesn't.

"Brother Kun..." Cai Xia said, sighing, "Can I stay with you this weekend and accompany you in self-study."

Relieved, I agreed without thinking carefully, "Okay, if you don't feel bored."

Cai Xia came over and put her arms around me, completely ignoring the people around me walking past.

I frowned and pushed him away, this is school after all, "Don't do this."

I often go to Cai Xia's school to look for him. In his school, I rarely have intimate behaviors. Most of the time, I walk side by side with him, just like the most ordinary friend on campus.

"I'm sorry." Cai Xia let go of me, turned her head and apologized to me, extremely reluctant.

Cai Xia's attitude towards me has always been very clear, I have nothing to disagree with myself, and after I'm with him, there's nothing to be ashamed of.It's just that in this school, I was always timid. I was worried about my father and my family.

Seeing Cai Xia being wronged made me feel uncomfortable.

But at this moment, I suddenly felt that going abroad is a good choice. Although I have endless uncertainties and even fears about leaving home completely, at least I will no longer have the current cage that makes me stop and look around.

33

Cai Xia accompanied me to self-study on weekends.

I texted Jason, who self-consciously took the few books he needed to read from the study room, and then stopped showing up.

I flipped through various textbooks and Xueba's notes, while Cai Xia kept looking at the English book on the side.I didn't argue anymore, Cai Xia's eyes told me that no matter what I said, he wouldn't believe it.

Because that's the way it is, I'm just that selfish.

After staying for two days, Cai Xia went back.

At the end of the semester, every school is an exam season, and he also has an exam next week.

Cai Xia usually studies hard and doesn't need to spend too much effort before the exam.But no matter how you say it, you can imagine how important I am to him if he can spend a few days looking for me before the exam.

After calculating these, I looked at the English book in front of me, but couldn't read a single word.

The exam week is over, and we are entering the summer vacation.

As I expected, I entered the time to learn English sprint.

On the day I came back from the new campus, I called Jiang Hao. He happened to be participating in the competition with the teacher in the teaching and research room of the old campus.

I don't know anything about Jiang Hao's affairs at school.

When he called, he still had some things to do.I said casually, "I can go and sit in my dad's office for a while, waiting for you to finish."

I mentioned to my father before that now I occasionally ask Jiang Hao to learn English, and my father called him to the house for dinner. If there is no follow-up feedback, he will definitely not let me go.But I was not prepared to tell my dad that I came to see Jiang Hao today. It is one thing to say something casually, but another thing to let him know that Jiang Hao and I are very close. If I talk too much, I think not safe.

"Okay, then I'll call you later."

After hanging up the phone, I took the elevator to the floor of my father's office.

Knocking on the door and going in, I stayed in my father's office for a while.He asked me what I was doing here, and I said that I had an appointment for dinner with a friend in the evening, and the time had not come yet, so I would stay here for a while.

My father didn't ask much, and he didn't care much about my normal social life.

After a few words, he asked me about English again...

After deciding to go abroad, it seemed that there was only one topic left between me and my father.

I don't feel bored, after all, he pays for every exam, so I should ask about the situation.I just feel helpless, and subconsciously hope that the time to leave this school will come sooner.

I have regained the urgency I felt when I was filling out the application form for the college entrance examination. It is hard to say what the reason for this recovery is, Cai Xia?Father?Jiang Hao?Or myself...maybe all these factors exist, but maybe it's just an idea I have to excuse myself when I am forced to accept the reality.

Jiang Hao called me after a while, I stood up from the sofa, handed my schoolbag to my father, and asked him to take it home for me.

I took my wallet and cell phone and said to my father, "I'll be back later at night."

"Hmm..." Father nodded, and then said, "Looking for a girlfriend?"

"Huh?" I didn't respond for a while.Looking at my father, I remembered what happened before, so I borrowed the slope to get off the donkey, "Well, there is a girl I like." I deliberately emphasized the word girl, with the idea of ​​setting off a smoke bomb.

"It's better to study hard. You are in a critical period now... find a girlfriend, and then you have to leave. What should you do? Now you think about these things, it's not appropriate." Father said very slowly, completely different from what I wanted to express , but at least he didn't have too many doubts about the word 'girl'.

"Okay, Dad," I turned around and walked towards the door of the office, "You have to take care of this kind of thing, it's not appropriate." I said this, but I was still secretly happy.

I was guilty, and even though I knew my father had no doubts about this matter, I still couldn't help but feel relieved.

Since the holidays, I carry my computer from home to study English in the study room of the old campus every day.

My parents work at the university, and have winter and summer vacations like me. I study in the house, and my mother always interrupts me every once in a while to pour me a glass of water or a piece of fruit.

There are only a few students who are preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination in advance in the self-study room during the holidays. Sitting next to them and studying, the efficiency is much higher.

Jiang Hao will still come to school during the holidays. It is said that he has not completed all the competitions he participated in and needs to borrow time from the summer vacation.

I have never cared about Jiang Hao's participation in competitions before.