england autumn

At the corner of the stairs, I called softly, Faey.

She turned back.

The eye circles were red, and there were tears in the corners of the eyes.

Never seen her vulnerable, isn't she the coolest, strongest, happiest person?

My heart ached, I stepped forward and took out a tissue to wipe away her tears.

She didn't move and let me wipe it.

How are you?Just now, I saw it all...

Well, it's okay, she bit her lip and tried to make a sound, I'm fine.

His face was pale, his brows were tightly furrowed, and his thin body was even thinner, how could it be better.

How are you?She asked, that day, you hung up on me, I think, you probably don't want to contact me anymore...

No no no, I shouted in my heart, I'm just afraid to hear your voice, I'm just afraid that I won't be able to control my feelings for you.

I shook my head vigorously, nodded again, and said, I am also fine.Just, I said softly, I miss you very much...

She sighed softly.

Rui, you have also seen that I am not a person worthy of love...even he...I think the person who understands me best in the world...will cheat...it's all...my fault...

She bowed her head.

I couldn't help it, and hugged her tightly, because he didn't know how to cherish, you, it's fine.

She pushed me and I didn't let go.

Give me a chance to love you, okay?I promise not to give you any pressure, don't say that I'm still young, don't say that I don't understand love, I will grow up quickly, I...

Rui, stop talking, her fingers covered my mouth, I can't hurt you.Sorry, I still have class to attend, bye.

I shouted at her back, as long as you don't hate me, I will never give up!

She paused, bowed her head and left.

When I got home, I frantically searched for all movies, TV dramas and novels about les, even if there were only some les fragments in the whole novel, I would not let them go.I don't have any love experience, I hope to find the answer in this.

I don't know if it's because of my living environment, but I like ICAN'TTTHINKSTRAIGHT and IMAGINEME&YOU the most. The stories in them seem to happen around me.And both have a picture, my favorite picture, two people in love, holding coffee, embracing on a bench, full of warmth and love.

Before falling asleep, IMAGINEME&YOU's theme song, Happytogether, still echoed in my head.

In my dream, I hugged Fei, looked at the fallen leaves in the distance, buried my head in her hair, the fragrance was unbelievably real.

The next day, I found Fei's class schedule, and every day when I thought she was going to go out, I ran to the teacher's office, "meeting" with her straightforwardly under the guise of asking questions.At first, she just nodded at me as a greeting, and I always adjusted my brightest smile just to happily say "hi" and "goodbye" to her.Sometimes, according to the weather, I prepare a cup of throat tea or hot chocolate, some small desserts, or a bunch of flowers I trimmed by myself, and put them in her office.

I don't want anything extravagantly, I just want to see her and take care of her as best I can, that's all.

I have understood that she is a person who yearns for freedom and is not restrained, so the best love I can give is to give her love without asking for anything and without pressure.

Over time, occasionally we would chat a few words when we met.

Rui, you put those things in there, don't do it in the future...

I interrupted her, Faey, if you don't like them, I'll change them, tell me, what do you like to eat?What kind of flowers do you like?

Perhaps because of the blow of broken love, there is always a trace of lingering sadness in her expression.

No, I like it very much...it's just...she seems to be weighing her words. During this period of time, I was thinking, in fact, my character...is not suitable for establishing an overly intimate relationship with others...otherwise...it will only hurt... …so……

Faey, I said sincerely, you know, during the entire Christmas period, I only wanted to understand one thing, that is, I really love you, and I hope this love brings you warmth instead of pressure.I want you to be happy, just like the always beaming Faey I used to know.If you feel pressure, you can regard it as another form of affection, friendship, family affection, anything, this is your business, I will not interfere.And my thing is to love you, if you love me too, then I am honored; if not, it doesn't matter, just treat me as a friend, is that okay?When one day you find someone you really love, I will leave automatically. This is my destiny, and I accept it unconditionally.

Rui...I...she looked up at me, her eyes were like waves in a lake, she seemed to have a lot to say, but she swallowed it back.

Thank you... she whispered.

I want to say thank you, I held her hand and said, thank you for never driving me away, thank you for your tolerance from beginning to end.