long regret

It was a night that seemed to be silent in an ancient city on a barren mountain, so quiet that there was no sound.

I suddenly realized that I did drink too much.

I don't have much strength in my body, but I try to keep my eyes open and look at him.

After all, I really still can't rely on my own inferences, logic and other things to guess what kind of state the emotions in the world are.

Because it failed.

He stood there in panic, just now he explained incoherently and in a panic, sentence by sentence, as if mocking, leaving me speechless.

Turns out he didn't like me.

So don't come and kiss me.

I looked at him, but he turned his head sideways and glanced somewhere on the floor, his lips were tightly pursed and his brows were frowning.

I feel very weak, my heart is tight, and I am grasped by unknown things. I try to take a deep breath but I can't calm down this feeling.

It's a feeling I've never had before.

I sat up propped on the bed, and pulled off the thick coat with the remaining strength. I didn't want to talk to him, because I really didn't know what to say.

Take off a sleeve, and there is no more strength.

I looked up at him, but saw him staring at me blankly.

At that moment, I just felt that my breath suddenly became short of breath, my nose was a little sore, and my eyes were hot like tears.

Oh, this is called grievance.

He was dumbfounded, then immediately stepped over in two steps, reached out his hand to hold my arm, and said in a panic: What's wrong with you?

I do not know.

He didn't help me up, he still looked at me stupidly: What's wrong with you, Ye Zi?Where is it uncomfortable?

have no idea!I don't fucking know! !

I shook him off with a flick of my hand, I didn't bother to care about my coat, so I turned over and lay down on my side, sleeping.

In fact, he couldn't sleep.

It was getting dark in the north, and the night was as deep as a thousand-foot-deep pool.

Quiet.

asphyxia.

Only the two dragon and phoenix red candles on the table were flickering with dim yellow light.

I turned my back to the outside, and felt that Chang Han spread out the quilt, gently took off my shoes and coat, and covered me tightly with the bright red quilt.

During the vernal equinox season when the north is still carrying the cold air from the ground, I traveled thousands of miles from the West Lake to Beiman with him.

I thought he liked me.

However, the reality made me pay more attention to these things and feelings that I don't quite understand for the first time.

The so-called feelings.

He doesn't like me, but wants to marry me.

If he fell in love with someone in the future, would he want to marry a second concubine like others?

what about me.

After all, I drank too much, I could hardly think for a long time, my eyelids became heavier and heavier, and I finally wandered in a daze.

In the feeling of grievance and displeasure, I could feel him lying on my back.

His breath is long, caressing my hair.

I was so close to him that I could touch him as soon as I turned around.

But I feel that maybe I will never touch him.

Who can tell me, do I know what it means to like now?