aftershock

Loosening the slender waist under his palms, Gu Lv slumped over the pillow on the other side. He covered his closed eyes with his hands, waiting for his breathing to calm down.

Under his hands, he tried to feel what kind of monsters would exist in a completely black world to disturb Jiang Yuan's tranquility. After all, this completely unpleasant act of venting made him really depressed.

Apart from feeling Jiang Yuan's silent resistance, he didn't give any proper response, although he still obediently lay beside him.

The curtains had been opened a long time ago, and the night was dark, Gu Lv opened his eyes and saw Jiang Yuan's extremely thin and bare back.

"Before we can't go back, or you can't go back."

Compared with the live heart being stabbed in the chest, the rest of the body can only be called a dull pain, Gu Lu's tone is as calm as a whisper, he seems to have accepted the possibility of not going back to the past, but Jiang Yuan is different, He used it for ten years, but he couldn't accept that he couldn't go back.

His world has always been black, even if lights are turned on for him in every corner, it cannot be illuminated.

The joints of Jiang Yuan's hands held by his lips could not be straightened at all, and he bit out bloody tooth marks of various shades. He turned around with difficulty, reached out and touched Gu Lv smoothly in the darkness, and put his hand on his small On the arm, so that some just right temperature can be transmitted.

He wanted to speak, but coughed hoarsely.

"Yes."

"what is"

Jiang Yuan didn't answer, he saw the broken moonlight piercing through the darkness outside the curtain, and asked, "Did you like me when we were in college?"

"..."

"I never had a chance to ask, do you like it?"

"Ah."

"Like I like you."

What is the same, how could it be the same, Gu Lv chuckled, "It's not the same."

"I can't go back."

"Is it."

"Ah."

Jiang Yuan kept thinking, thinking of his little uncle, thinking of Gu Xu, thinking of how they could still be buried in a tomb after a lifetime, listening to the wind and rain in the courtyard where no one would disturb them, and watching the flowers bloom in all seasons, He thought that he had asked Gu Lu that he wanted Gu Lu to be with him for the rest of his life, but he didn't realize it was not until the last second.The only thing Gu Lv likes is Jiang Yuan who is always by his side, not the current self.

He no longer wants Gu Lv's life, in fact, he didn't want it back then, he wanted to come back to see if Gu Lv was real, and it was true to want to be with him for the rest of his life, but that was just thinking, not wanting.

What a wonderful and perfect life Gu Lu would have, how dare he want it.

He just hoped that after that life, after Gu Lv's life, he could also accompany him in a tomb to see the beautiful weather and the four seasons.He waited and watched Gu Lv's fresh life, but he was too greedy, greedy for everything about Gu Lv, and got too close without knowing what to do.

"Do you want to return that butterfly to you?"

"No need."

Then don't pay it back, Jiang Yuan nodded wearily.

The sound of his breathing was too heavy, and Gu Lv would still feel a little worried about being frustrated. Turning on the light, Jiang Yuan curled up in the messy quilt, with his head resting on his arm, and fell asleep like this at some point, a tall and slender boy When he was approaching middle age, he became thin and became a ball, curled up on the scattered bed like a pangolin.

He frowned, with dry blood on his lips, probably because it hurt too much, even though it was not the first time Gu Lu knew that he had the habit of biting himself, he would still be surprised by the back of his hand full of wounds, Jiang Yuan was tormented Not lightly, Gu Lv looked at his place, it was all red and swollen with bloodstains.

After turning off the hot water in the bathroom, he was picked up from the bed. All the scenes that he didn't want to watch just now appeared one by one, tingling Gu Lv's nerves. Red and swollen shoulder blades, even a small cut somewhere behind the ear.

Those scars, either old or pink, are long or short, and Jiang Yuan usually hides them on purpose, but he is sleeping soundly at the moment, obediently letting Gu Lv touch those scars, but there is no reaction.

When it hurts, it really hurts.

When you are depressed, you are really out of breath. It seems that if you stay with this person for a while, you will not be able to bear the pain. When the pain is over, you will be too angry to be able to bear it.

Jiang Yuan was hastily tidied up, given medicine, and then thrown back into the bed. Their trip would last four days, and when Jiang Yuan woke up the next day, Gu Lv had already left.

"Mr. Jiang, Mr. Gu is in a hurry to go to another place first. I still need to stay here for two days. Can we go back together when the time comes?" Lin Ze's phone call came in, and Jiang Yuan woke up. Meng, the neck is sore.He nodded to the phone only to realize that Lin Ze couldn't see. "I know, he has something to do."

"Yes, that..."

"I still want to sleep."

"Okay, I called the hotel's breakfast, just ring the bell when I wake up."

Jiang Yuan mumbled in a daze and hung up the phone. He stared at the cabinets in the room for a long time before slowly getting out of bed and opening them all to confirm that Gu Lv had really left.

He rubbed his red nose, then slowly lay back on the bed, shrinking into the quilt.

The distance between the south and the north is much closer than the distance between Canada and China. In the past, I could bear it for ten years, but now I wake up and feel that I can't bear it, and my heart feels empty.

Gu Lv, who said he couldn't see and couldn't sleep well, suddenly disappeared.