Kuai Chuan Zhi Won't Love You Again

Xie Ling, how long have we known each other?

...Thinking about it, it should have been ten years.

Yes, from the young and ignorant adolescence to stepping out of the campus and facing the society, there were also conflicts, separation and strangeness during the period, but no matter what, we have known each other for more than ten years.

Perhaps, a certain love or marriage we have encountered will not last so long.Like a long stream of fine water, moistening things silently.

You know what, I keep thinking, we'll always be together.When you get married, I will buy a room next to you and commute with you every day; when you have a child, I will let my child marry your baby; when we are old, we will sit together every day Chatting on the benches in the park, looking at the scenery, and trembling home wrapped in a coat when it was cold.At that time, I should still like to listen to Kunqu Opera, or you still like to watch cartoons.We will always be together, from, to 80 years old.

People always ask me, if you really like someone, how can you keep your mouth shut?Those young children are quite right, if they really like someone, even if they don't say anything, there will be a little star in their eyes.I've also thought about it, life is so short, you may die one day, even if there is a next reincarnation, I will never recognize you again.If you are sincere, you can do it in this lifetime, and the entanglement from generation to generation is always a matter of effort.I can't do it.

As you always know, my family and I were not always close and I often felt like an outsider.Today I bought a book by Xiao Hong from the side of the road. The name is "Hulan River Biography".I looked at her, as if I saw my younger self-although the experience was different, the mood was so similar.It's just that her grandfather is a ray of light in her life, and you are like a ray of light to me.

In fact, I still depend on you more than I like you, and I dare not resort to it, but it is only because I am afraid of rumors from the outside world.I am an ordinary person, living conscientiously, always wanting to escape suffering.I like you, but you don't have this idea. For me, this is the first pain. Originally, if I confess to you, the best result is to pretend not to know. For me, this is It is the second level of suffering; if you hate me, it is the third level of suffering for me.As I said, I am an ordinary person, I just want to enjoy peace of mind, and I don't want to let myself get stuck in it.

Xie Ling, my mother called me yesterday and told me that my uncle passed away.In just one year, a very healthy person was lying on the cold ground because of some kind of disease, unable to hear or see, the whole world was destroyed the moment he closed his eyes.How long can our nostalgia last?We're all stray dogs, we're all too busy crawling from one puddle to another.

Yesterday my mother burst into tears, she said that it has been eight years since I left.My grandparents were in good health when I left, but now both of them are gone.Uncle was still alive at that time, but now it has become a term in other people's mouths.My mother asked me, when will I be back?

The snow this year seems to be clearer than in previous years.A real pure white snow, which makes me miss our hometown even more.We are all children of the North, and sooner or later we will return there.Maybe you are different from me, you can settle down anywhere, but I only build my nest in my dreams.Now, the dream is shattered, where should I go?

My mother told me that she wanted to see me get married and have children, and the same with my younger brother.She won't trouble me when she gets old, not only because I am a daughter, but also because she doesn't want to cause me more trouble.At this point I have to admit that I have always loved them, and for this reason, I have always resented them for so many years.

Maybe my mother didn't hate me like I did you, but it wasn't pure love either.

Not long ago we talked about Wen Shao.I asked what do you know about him, you said that you have met many people, some warmth and memories make people obsessed, but no one can make you worship.If a woman starts to worship a man, she probably is not far from love.I suddenly realized that we are almost 30 years old, and we must abide by its rules to survive in this society.And before you finish it, you find a more suitable outlet.

I'm not the only victim in this unfair relationship.In fact, in the name of "I love you", I did a lot of things to indulge myself, and those things had nothing to do with you.My own cowardice and humbleness have nothing to do with my love for a person of the same sex. This is my own choice—to love a person, even if you give everything you have, the mistakes he made should not be shirked on others.

Tomorrow, Jiang Chi and I will travel to the Northeast.I heard that there are ice sculptures over there, but I don't know how it is different from ours.I still won’t go home during the Spring Festival this year, but after the beginning of spring, I will probably leave here.With so many years of luck, maybe I can also find a kind man with whom I want to spend my life well.

In fact, looking forward or looking backward, who can escape such a fate?After all, I am devout to life, and I only hope that I can go on peacefully in the future.

Xie Ling, will you get married? When will you get married?Wen Shao is a rich and big boss, I haven't told you yet.In the past few days, I often have nightmares, and when I look back, I find that another year has passed.

I know you love me too, although it's not that kind, but the feeling of mutual affection doesn't need to be so clear after all.I think we will love each other like this.I believe there will be a second decade between us, a third decade...until the hair is gray.

That's all for now, good luck.

Su Nianjue spread out the paper, and the moonlight quietly fell.Christmas is coming, and it will be a new beginning.

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Su Nianjue took a simple shower in the bathroom.The water was slightly cool, and the chill slid down from his back to his ankles.His mouth seemed to be chewing a piece of broken ice, and the roots of his teeth were sore and cold.

After taking a shower, I dried my hair with a towel, and the water droplets fell into the collar and wet the pajamas.Jiang Chi called and urged her to go there early.She put down the towel, combed her hair with a comb, and then gently let down the broken hair on her fingertips.

She and Jiang Chi agreed to leave early the next morning.Because the distance was too far, Jiang Chi invited her to stay at home for one night, which was more convenient.Su Nianjue took out a bunch of keys from the cabinet.This is the spare key left to her by the other party when she was a guest at Jiang Chi's house a few times ago.It can be said that here in Jiangchi, she feels trust and respect.

Part of the hair that had just been cut short fell on her neck, and Su Nianjue stretched out her hand to pin it behind her ear.I carried a small bag with clothes, toiletries, and various outing items in it, and my mobile phone and wallet in another bag.

She was wearing a small blue down jacket, sitting in front of the mirror and looking at herself, she saw the wrinkles around her eyes, dull skin, and droopy face, she stretched out her hand, smeared lotion on the palm of her hand, and then patted on the face.In the silent room, with dim lights, she was reflected in the mirror.Then I put on makeup seriously, drew my eyebrows, drew an eyeliner, followed by lipstick, and a little bit of blush.

Go out with your bag and stop a taxi at an intersection.She gave her address and fell asleep in the car.

She opened the door with the spare key Jiang Chi left for her. With a "click", she stood at the door, but Jiang Chi didn't come out to greet her.Su Nianjue gently put the bag at the door, took off her shoes furtively, and paced the room holding the key.

Jiang Chi was on the phone from the kitchen balcony.Su Nianjue stepped on white socks, and the man in home clothes turned his back to her.The temperature in the room was very high, and Su Nianjue saw a drop of sweat falling from the tip of his nose.

"I've already said that they have nothing to do with each other. She will go to the Northeast with me tomorrow. What else do you have to worry about?" Jiang Chi stuck the phone to his ear, put one hand in his trouser pocket, Bending slightly, his tone was a little hasty.

"Wen Shao, you are always like this!" Jiang Chi yelled angrily, "It's fine that you lied to her back then, but now I want to help you lie to Su Nianjue! She never told Xie Ling about your matter, which means your Those fantasies don't exist at all, do they?"

He paused for a while, his attitude eased, and he let out a long sigh of relief, "We're going out tomorrow, don't call me anytime soon, buddy, I'm enough to do this."

Jiang Chi hung up the phone and cursed angrily.He turned around and saw Su Nianjue standing in front of him.The bag on her shoulder was not put away yet, she just looked up at him.Only then did he realize that her hair was loose, and the down jacket was open, revealing a silver-white gray sweater.

It's all quiet.The palms were wet with sweat, the heart was beating violently, and the breathing was cloudy and heavy, interlaced.

"It turns out...you lied to me too."

Su Nianjue lowered his head, "Didn't you agree to go to the Northeast tomorrow?"

What a beautiful dream, why was it destroyed by my own hands?

She ran fast, opened the door, and didn't even have her shoes on.The white socks left marks on the ground, and she ran and ran, feeling like a gust of wind.Jiang Chi chased after her like a turbulent night. She ran up two flights of stairs, and when she didn't know where she was going, she ran out of the stairs, and then ran into the elevator door.

"Bang" - the door closed.She saw half of Jiang Chi's face, pale, his lips were purple, trembling weakly.

She didn't understand what he was sad about.

She leaned against the corner and suddenly noticed something.There was no one in this elevator.Only herself.She stretched out her hand, and the makeup on her face was peeling off.Black eyeliner flowed from the corners of the eyes, and the blush caused skin allergies due to the temperature.She scratched her face, it was red, she thought it was her own blood.

She couldn't see Jiang Chi roaring outside.He kicked over the "Under Repair" sign and kept calling.One of his slippers fell to the ground.He heard a rumbling sound inside.But she doesn't know.

She just realized that the elevator stopped suddenly.There was no signal on her phone, she saw on the screen, and about a minute later, the elevator began to plummet.Like in a dream, keep falling, falling...

This feeling is all too familiar.She knew that her body was falling when she was a baby.

She pressed all the buttons according to the method in memory, the elevator stopped, and began to sink after a while.

Su Nianjue knew that he must be in a mess right now.

She began to hate Jiangchi, but also began to miss that home.

She misses Xie Ling and the warmth of interlocking fingers.

But it was too late, too late.

She took out a lipstick from her bag, the color was bright red, hot and restless.

What should be said?

She wrote "I" and then "you" on the billboard with lipstick, with a heart drawn in between.

The lipstick broke, and the elevator made a dull "hum--" sound.

Keep sinking.

Black comes down completely.

"Xie Ling, that's it."

Please don't miss me because I won't miss you.

"The audit is passed, the host is about to leave the demonstration area, please pay attention to the host, please pay attention to the host..."

Su Nian stood in the air and glanced at the body, "Has the review passed?" The system didn't speak, and she said to herself, "Let's leave then."

Then the system discovered that this girl who had been reluctant to show her tears suddenly squatted in the space.The sobbing was faint but clear—she was crying.

The author has something to say:

Am I screwed up again? ?