ring the bell

Zhong Linyang fiddled with his fingers leisurely.The nails are rough, and may have been worn off a little during the fight. The dazzling mustard green is adorned on his fingertips, but it looks particularly clean and translucent, like the heart of tender baby vegetables.

"I don't remember," he said.

These four words should never be the answer to "like it or not".Xu was stunned by his words, and suddenly burst into a smile, very softly, "I see," he sat down, and shook out a Dubao from Zhong Linyang's cigarette case, "** .”

"Are you so happy?" Zhong Linyang raised his eyebrows.

"I understand what you mean." Ke Xu bit his cigarette holder and spoke vaguely.

"You understand? You think I'm being stubborn." Zhong Linyang also smiled, without that aggressive sharpness, he looked tired, "Permission, why should I lie to you? What's the point of digging into the past? See I felt weird when I saw that tattoo, it’s OK, it’s OK, and it’s so ugly, what kind of crazy did I commit back then?”

Seeing Li Ke's slightly confused, injured expression, his tone became a little softer, "I really don't remember."

The licensed cigarette couldn't be lit, and the cluster of flames on the cigarette butt was like a projection without temperature.He didn't know if it was the smoke, or the fire, or himself again. Putting down the smoke, he went to see Zhong Linyang, "You pierced it in with a compass. It was midnight after piercing, and you climbed to my window , Turn it in and show it to me. You said you were bored, and you said it didn’t hurt.”

"Oh, we're still neighbors."

"Your aunt and my mother are co-workers, and they both live in the houses assigned by the police station." Xu Ke pressed the sore corners of his eyes, "Have you lost your memory?"

"Broken head."

Xu Xu forced himself to swallow the indiscriminate breath, the smoke was squashed by him, his eyelashes trembled, "You still remember me."

"Remember part of it."

"Okay." Ke Xu paused, then asked again, "What have you been doing for the past two years? Continue to go to school?"

"No."

Xu immediately regretted asking two questions in succession, because Zhong Linyang was obviously not going to answer the first one, so he had to ask again from the beginning, "Are you in Beijing?"

"Yes," Zhong Linyang's long legs were tucked under the small table, obviously very uncomfortable, he simply leaned on the back of the chair, stretched his feet under Li Xu's chair, and stretched his legs comfortably, he still did not forget the little girl She seemed to adjust her skirt, "You went back to Liucheng during the winter vacation and cried all the time under the bell tower until you vomited. I saw it. You still care about me."

Xu Ke was dazzled by his sudden sweet smile, "And then? You came to Beijing?"

"Well, I want to see what other places are like. Will I still be shouted and killed? You know, in that kind of small place, some people call you a rotten **** disgusting thing like everyone else during the day , knocking on your window at night, trying to take off your pants, and try to stuff his ugly thing into your ass," Zhong Linyang said worriedly, "there are many such people, especially those who marry The old bachelor who doesn't have a wife is so idle every day that he can't get rid of it. I have already made my grandma so angry that I can't get out of bed, and I can't cause trouble for her children."

Xu Kong opened his mouth, his scalp was numb, and his voice was hoarse, "You can come to me."

"I can still jump off the building." Zhong Linyang smiled vividly.

"I'm serious." Xu Xu felt pale.

"I don't want to look for you when I come here," Zhong Linyang immediately poured a bright black on his pale face, "I want to see the big city, not you. Facts have proved that I will still be treated as a monster here "He twisted the wig around his fingers, and when he turned it around, a circle of ambiguous light and shadow of the bar was reflected, "but even if I am a monster, this place can accommodate me. It allows me to exist."

Xu Xu was speechless for a long time, he sat stiffly on the chair, and the streets and alleys of Liucheng spread out in front of him.The sky is gray, turning crimson only in the evening, and the same gray towns are crowded with gray factories and people.He saw gossip, fine bubbles rising from the gray sea, each of which was a noisy human head, and he saw insults and harassment, the bubbles gathered into a huge ball, Zhong Linyang's red school uniform was wrapped in it, and then, The ball exploded, and the sea of ​​gray was choppy in an instant, Zhong Linyang's school uniform turned into a fiery red sunset, filling the entire field of vision like splashing paint.

Now he was obviously not dreaming, but he could clearly see that evening, Zhong Linyang's death was so real, but the real Zhong Linyang was alive and right in front of his eyes.

"You are not a monster." Xu Xu could only say this in the end, "This look suits you very well."

"Wow," Zhong Linyang squinted his eyes and exaggeratedly exclaimed, "Actually, I don't have to pretend to be a woman, but I just think walking with you like this will make you feel more comfortable."

"Are you almost homophobic by me?" He asked again, putting his hand on the back of Xu Xu's hand, pinching hard, leaving deep marks.This is what he has loved to do since junior high school. He loves to leave his mark, Xu Xu never resists or complains.

"No," Xu Xu was in a hurry this time, and almost stood up again, "How could that be!" He felt that this person hadn't listened to him at all just now.

"That's good." Zhong Linyang moved his hand away and tapped on the table lightly, "I ran into you today, just to tell you that I am still alive, I have no missing arms or legs, and I don't have any opinions on you. You actually didn't do anything back then. Wrong. Let's meet as old classmates, you don't have to live so entangled every day, it's good to live, don't always want to die. Your mother doesn't want you to meet her at a young age. "

"What do you mean?" Li Ke frowned.

"You really want to die recently, don't you? How many times have you scratched your wrist with the utility knife? It's the same useless as when you were a child."

"how do you know?"

Zhong Linyang stuck out his tongue, got up and left, the bar was bustling with people, Xu Xu saw him go out, and opened the door by himself after a few seconds, looking all over the street, there was no figure of the short knitted sweater and pleated skirt.Chasing east or going west, Xu Xu chose the latter, stepping on the skateboard, he looked randomly all the way, "Zhong Linyang!" He shouted loudly, "My **** Zhong Linyang, run away from you!" Paralyzed, run, run your mother!"

Soon he couldn't swear anymore. After staying in Beijing for a long time, he had completely forgotten all the swearing words in his hometown. He also knew that the yelling he greeted his family like that was useless except to vent his anger.After looking for several traffic light intersections in this way, I calmed down a little, Xu Xu felt that he probably chose the wrong direction.Stopping under a ginkgo tree, he wanted to take out the Dubao that had been crushed by himself and take a couple of bites. He touched his trouser pocket, but found nothing.

He was so impressed that he put it in his right pocket, and Zhong Linyang was smiling when he put it away, "You still care about me." The words were still ringing in his ears.

Khan has been out for a long time, and now it is a little cold due to the wind. Xu Xu turned his empty right hand over and looked at the back of his hand. Where is there any trace of being pinched? It is as empty as the palm of the hand, and it is even and smooth. .