The second year of Jianwen was the 33rd year of Hongwu as people said later.

I didn’t go back to the teacher’s school during the Spring Festival this year, because last year the Holy One and his uncle had a quarrel, and the King of Yan broke through the defenses in Beiping to openly rebel. After that, wars broke out for several months. The local parents and officials were trembling, and ordinary people even avoided the war .

The rivers and lakes and temples sit on both sides, but when the foundation is really shaken, there will be no eggs under the nest.My husband said that such a subversion of the world, I don't know how many new and old hatreds will be born in the turmoil.

Later, as my husband expected, in the autumn of the first year of Jianwen, the rewards in the north were turned over one by one: either a few small sects took the opportunity to kill and occupy the land, or bandits and robbers killed the rich households who had fled.Putting aside the war now, the rivers and lakes are full of grievances and grievances.So before the end of the twelfth lunar month, Senior Brother Ren Jin rushed to the north with a team, and I followed them through the two lakes, Jiangnan, and Henan, and finally stationed in Jinan, Shandong.

I was born in the south since I was a child, and lived until February [-]th. Before doing tasks, I only traveled to Xiangxi and Jiangnan, and I have never been to the Central Plains, let alone the north.Fortunately, more than a dozen people set off together this time, and the senior brothers had rich experience, and there was a sub-rudder to support them, so even if they had to run thousands of miles, they were not afraid.

What's more, I have a thick leather cloak sewn by my senior sister, and I was given a few mouthfuls of strong wine. You come and I meet a few rough swordsmen in the north.After all, when I was young, I always said that the sons and daughters of the rivers and lakes are aiming at Kyushu. I really saw the stars hanging down the plains, the moon surging in the river, and the blood rushing to my heart. The wind doesn't feel cold anymore.

After half a month of eating and sleeping, we finally arrived in Jinan.

The sub-rudder hid in a restaurant, we cleaned up and stayed there, the senior brother divided a dozen people into small teams, agreed on a secret code and a tracking order, and started the mission.These tasks have been accumulated for more than a month and spread all over the prefectures and counties. We will go to one prefecture at a time, and come back together after the concentration is completed.

Things went well, and when the New Year's Eve came, we even took a day off, and everyone got together to write couplets, paste peach charms, and set off fireworks.Even if Mr. Guan Zhang Luo is not concerned, we will be doing well this year.The New Year's Eve dinner was the dumplings learned by the senior sister who stole from her teacher. She left the dumplings wrapped in new copper in my bowl, and watched me bite into them in a blink of an eye.

She clapped her hands happily and smiled at me: "When I was young, I asked you what you wanted, but you only thought about Ah Jin's spicy noodles. Now that you're so old, let's make a wish, little lucky star."

We were both orphans who grew up together, we were also sick and sympathetic, and we were closer than ordinary siblings. Now we huddled together and ate dumplings, booing all over the place. I felt my cheeks turn red with that copper coin in my mouth.It's not over yet, Senior Brother Ren Jin didn't forget to come over and touch my head when he heard it.

"That's right, Shuangshuang, if you say that again, I won't make chili for you."

He laughed at me.

At this time, the new wind howled, and the doors and windows of the main hall were blown open. At this time, the seniors who were wandering outside should go back.

A little bit homesick.

I rarely think about what will happen in the future, and I can't talk about what I want, but it's not without desires.Seeing the senior sister's stubbornness, he rubbed his face obediently and put his palms together, and said solemnly: "I want to eat the dumplings made by the senior sister next year."

Everyone laughed again.

I want to get together next year, year after year, and be safe and sound.

This is the first wish I made and the last.

The new year in Jianwen was warm and unforgettable. I ate enough and dressed warmly. I was the youngest, and I was stuffed with a lot of New Year's gifts. A few unscrupulous ones even said that after tonight, I would be fifteen years old. Why should we buy a good hairpin together? I thought that it must be because there is no little girl in the family these few years, and the young hero who should be my mother and father is only thinking about troubling me.

But I thought their quarrel was just blunt. After a while, I opened the window and looked up at the bright starry sky without clouds, and my heart was still warm.Afterwards, I went back to my room and slept soundly. In my dreams, I was filled with the laughter of my fellow disciples.

Jiayan once asked me what my most feared dream was like.At that time, she felt inappropriate after asking, so she put her face on my neck and said sullenly: "I don't know you guys, so if you can just say it, it's convenient."

I asked, "What is the scariest thing?"

She didn't expect that I was willing to tell her these things, so she stretched out her arms and hugged me in surprise. I was worried that her injured leg hadn't healed yet, so I could only be rubbed by her under the quilt.

"Hey, why are you so clingy..."

She finally had enough trouble, and said out of breath: "It must be a nightmare."

I thought about it and felt bitter, "What I'm most afraid of...is a beautiful dream."

I have seen too many bloody scenes, and there are many times when my life is hanging by a thread. These are like waves scouring the sand. In the end, the only thing left in my heart is the dream of the reunion of the old people.

Jiayan bit her lip, the girl lost her shape during the escape, but now she has finally regained her shape, I looked at her from below, her beautiful eyes were clear, tears were about to fall, her round cheeks were faintly red.

"Shuang'er." She leaned down and kissed me, and hot tears fell on my face, "Cry and cry, okay?"

"I shouldn't be crying." Before I could finish my sentence, she buried herself in my neck and began to cry.

She is not a girl who loves to cry, and she cries quietly. I caressed her trembling shoulders and touched the scabs on the shoulder blades. No matter how we comforted each other, they turned pale. My eyes were sore and my voice was hoarse: " Then... accompany me to Jiming Temple to offer incense sticks."

……

People always look forward to some unrealistic things, such as the king of Yan retreating in the face of difficulties and reconciling with the Holy One, but the good times don't last long. .

In April of the second year of Jianwen, the emperor issued an order to quell the rebellion. Li Jinglong led 60 troops, claiming that a million troops attacked Beiping from Shandong. Defeated, retreated to Jinan.

At that time, a group of us bid farewell to the sub-rudder and planned to go to Hebei. On the way, refugees fled south one after another. With our youthful spirit, we went against the trend and hoped to settle a few more blood feuds.The senior brother said that it is inconvenient to walk in the peaceful and prosperous age, and now is the time when the chivalry is flourishing, when will we wait if we don't do anything at this time?

Chivalrous people kill one person in a thousand miles, but they are lonely heroes after all, not to mention that we are not heroes, but a group of young people with little experience.Hundreds of thousands of troops fled after the defeat of Baigouhe and Dezhou. In order to save their lives, many deserters entered the villages along the way to loot property and food.

There are even more soldiers who think that fleeing to Jinan is death, and they will be punished as deserters when they return home.

For a while, banditry was rampant in Shandong.

I have never seen Zhan Luan, but now I only feel that the hell on earth is in front of me.

The lives of refugees are like grass, being ruined and killed by others. Even if they are lucky enough to get their lives, they are already living like duckweed, with nowhere to stay.Sometimes I think that the reason why the rivers and lakes in the Yongle year were full of vitality and the dark fragrance was able to grow was because of the excessive killing and hunting during the Hongwu period, and too many displaced people flowed into the rivers and lakes and died forever.

The Battle of Baigou River had a huge impact on us, and our brothers immediately turned around and went straight to Dezhou. We killed the bandits and bandits all the way, and covered the refugees fleeing. In the end, we stepped on the front and back of Li Jinglong's army, and were caught off guard by the Northern Army chasing after us. .

After the city was broken, we fled again and again. My brothers and sisters threw me some children who were lost with their families.

April in the north is hot and cold, and it rains all night, a piece of withered grass and black ash, a few ruined tung flowers are crushed under the wheels, and the torrential rain wets my clothes.

Withdrawing all depends on luck, the city gate is getting farther and farther away, and there are mountains and fields in front of it. No one proposes to stop and repair. Everyone hopes that tomorrow they will be able to see the Mount Tai mountain system, cross the Yellow River, and hide in Jinan.

This was decided after our discussion. After all, after this battle, the medicines and food on our bodies were consumed a lot, everyone was dying, and we urgently needed a place to settle down.At present, there is not one village in ten, and the only way to escape the war is to go to the city.The prefectures and counties in Shandong closed their cities one after another to save their lives. After thinking about it, they had to flee to Jinan before that. Firstly, there were supplies to maintain the rudder, and secondly, the outcome was uncertain. It would not be too late to prepare more supplies before running away.

Senior Brother Ren Jin said that it is difficult now, but it is not the worst.

After all, we are people from the rivers and lakes, and the road of chivalry and righteousness is also smooth. Compared with these unarmed people on the road, we think that we are not fish on the chopping board, but a murderous knife.After trying to understand this truth, everyone comforted me a lot. The senior sister was so tired that she fell asleep leaning on the car board.

Night also came quietly.

I never thought this would be a farewell.

Walking to the forest road, the horse's hoof was tripped by the horse's rope. The horse let out a long neigh, and rolled into the trap with the cart. The pit was full of mud and water, and a long nail was buried. Dao wanted to rescue me, but Senior Brother Ren Jin held me back and stuffed my luggage and water bag into my arms.

"Everyone disperse!" He yelled hoarsely, his eyes were bloodshot, he swung his blade to block a big man wielding a hammer, forced a hole, and knocked me out of the ambush circle with his palm.

"Stealth! Run—"

When I was six years old, the beggar's nest was killed, and I entered the Dark Fragrance Sword Hall. My husband said: "You must remember that you are a knife, a knife that drinks the blood of the enemy, and has no self or thoughts."

Later, my senior brother took me to slash the enemy with my hands, and the blood splashed all over the ground. I stood there blankly with the dagger in my hand, breathed a few times, and finally felt a little relieved.

Sadness is for the living, so killing to stop killing is not a way to support the living.

I have never been afraid of death, I am only afraid that my knife is neither fast nor ruthless. I did not break it at that time because of protecting my family, but I will use the killing for the next five or ten years to seek relief.

When I broke out of the siege, my body was already covered with scars, but I remembered that these people were carrying the knives equipped in the army. Maybe it was not the style of the Jianghu people. If there is any survivor...

I couldn't let go of this thought, I couldn't bear to look back, but saw...

……

There are big trees planted beside the forest road, with dark shadows reflected in the middle of the night, a few strands of rope hang down from the tree branches, and a few black figures hang from them, shaking with the wind and rain.

I walked forward in a daze, and the tree with a few small bodies hanging down at the end was a few children I picked up on the road. I wanted to take them to Jinan for refuge... When I got closer, I saw blood congealed under the tree. Trembling, he raised his head, only to see a few flesh and blood that had been skinned above his head.

"Boom—"

Thunder and lightning.

The blood merged into a stream, skirted the roots of the trees, fell into the mud pit and rushed downhill.

How much hate can be hated, I can't feel it at all, my blood is surging, and my eyes are full of blood.

——The pain of annihilation, blood and deep hatred.

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