The years you healed

——The more you care about other people's feelings, the more vulnerable you are.They tend to pay too much attention to the feelings of others, thus squeezing themselves again and again.

"My mother is a people's teacher, and your tone of voice is very similar to her." Wu Qi said softly, with a bit of happiness on his face.

Jiao Chenxi heard about Wu Qi's death of his mother when he was young. It is said that every time his mother is mentioned, Wu Qi's face is full of happiness, as if she has always been there and never left.

Jiao Chenxi nodded and replied with a smile, "That's fine."

Wu Qi glanced at Jiao Chenxi, and noticed that when the boy who was more than one year younger than himself smiled, his eyes narrowed crookedly, as if there was some kind of enchanting magic power, especially the pair of eye-catching eyes around his mouth. pear vortex.

He didn't finish what he said just now, and my mother loved to laugh too.So when he saw Jiao Chenxi smiling, he would think of his mother.

Taking advantage of this time, Jiao Chenxi cleaned up the plates, knives and forks, and sat back at the dining table.

Due to the fact that I haven't had a haircut for a long time, once or twice my hair is pressed down when I sleep, and the hair will hang to the front and be eye-catching.

Usually at this time, Jiao Chenxi would take off the hair tie on his left wrist for convenience, and tie himself into a naive crooked peach braid.

When he looked up, Wu Qi was looking at him.

"What's wrong?" Jiao Chenxi asked.

Wu Qi looked back instantly and shook his head.

"That's good." Jiao Chenxi took out a pen and a small notebook from nowhere.

"Xiaoqi, now I want to ask you some questions to collect information, it's very simple, you just need to answer yes or no, okay?"

Wu Qi: "Okay."

"Can I start now?"

Wu Qi put his hands on the table and nodded seriously.

"Do you like small animals?"

Wu Qi nodded.

"Have you had a lot of emotional ups and downs recently?"

Wu Qi shook his head.

"Slept well last night?"

Wu Qi nodded.

"How are you feeling now?"

Wu Qi hesitated for a moment, then nodded his head lightly, then made a gesture to shake his head, and finally looked at Jiao Chenxi blankly.

He didn't know if his mood could be counted as joy, sadness or something else.Jiao Chenxi recorded these in his notebook.

"One last question." Jiao Chenxi raised his head: "Xiao Qi, tell me, what is the purpose of your treatment?"

Jiao Chenxi stared at Wu Qi: "Or to put it another way, what is your reason for wanting to recover?"

"..."

Wu Qi lowered his head and didn't speak for a while.

Jiao Chenxi could see that he didn't show any resistance, so he boldly reached out and grabbed his wrist.

He asked softly: "Xiaoqi, answer me, is it because of your mother?"

Hearing this, Wu Qi's eyelashes twitched slightly, and without speaking, he nodded his head lightly, and then quickly withdrew his hand.

So for the next period of time, no matter how Jiao Chenxi asked, Wu Qi kept his head down and remained silent.

"Little Qi, look up at me." Jiao Chenxi tilted his head boredly, calling Wu Qi.

Wu Qi still ignored him, sitting opposite with his head bowed, as if he was in a daze, and seemed to be thinking about something with his head down.

No response was received, Jiao Chenxi pursed his lips slightly, lowered his head and drew something on the notebook, then leaned forward, reached out to Wu Qi and knocked on the table.

'knock knock'

"Xiaoqi, look at this."

He turned the notebook around and pushed it in front of Wu Qi.

Wu Qi finally stopped his indifference, looked up at Jiao Chenxi who was opposite him, and turned his gaze to the book again.

Above are a few villains drawn by Jiao Chenxi in a clumsy way.

"The one above, the biggest one, is you."

He smiled and tapped one of the villains with the tip of his pen.

"The reason why Xiaoqi can't feel the emotional fluctuations is because your brain is worried that you are working too hard, so it makes the emotional villain fall asleep."

While telling the story, Jiao Chenxi pointed at the villains with different postures step by step with the tip of his pen.

"Don't be afraid in this situation, because this is a self-defense mechanism of the body. The villains in charge of this level are trying their best to protect you, but they can't tell whether those emotions are good or bad, so they put all Your emotions are locked up. The methods are clumsy, but they protect you all the time."

Jiao Chenxi smiled gently.

"Look! You are not alone in this world, there are many more people willing to love you. They want you to feel their love for you, and they want your love."

Jiao Chenxi lamely drew a love heart upside down on the paper, but couldn't help but laugh silly.

Wu Qi stared at Jiao Chenxi for a long time, then slightly raised the corners of his mouth and smiled.

"Thank you."

……

After that, the two lived harmoniously and regularly together for a few days, and Jiao Chenxi became acquainted with Wu Qi tentatively.

On this day, the two were sitting cross-legged at home, admiring Wu Qi's previous paintings.

Jiao Chenxi held up a painting. It was a girl in a short white skirt, standing in a sea of ​​flowers. The girl looked back and smiled, vivid and vivid.

"The painting is pretty good, isn't it!" Jiao Chenxi praised.

"..."

Wu Qi frowned and remained silent.

Seeing this, Jiao Chenxi pretended to blame: "Tsk, student Xiaoqi, you look like a super student in the class. After the final exam, the exam score is only one point away from the perfect score, and you keep saying that you didn't take the exam. good."

Jiao Chenxi tapped the painting with his knuckles.

"Compared to my level, you are already very good!"

"But I don't like it." Wu Qi said lightly.

Jiao Chenxi was puzzled: "Don't like it? Is it because I don't like painting, or I don't like this painting?"

"I... used to like to paint landscapes, buildings, or the realism of some characters." Wu Qi said slowly: "I liked it a long time ago. I think that what I draw is more textured than photos. It gives it imagination and at the same time , but also experience the reality in the painting.”

Wu Qi's tone was low: "At least, I think so."

Jiao Chenxi glanced at Wu Qi and asked, "Then what happened after that?"

"Later, I tried to add some new elements like some popular comics, which is the image of this girl." He took out a painting that was almost exactly the same as the girl in the sea of ​​flowers before.

The difference lies in the girl's clothes. In the picture in Wu Qi's hand, the girl is no longer wearing a white short skirt, but a knee-length dress.

Seeing the difference, Jiao Chenxi gasped almost without leaving a trace.

Wu Qi drew the picture on the ground: "The one you saw before was edited by the deputy editor. The reason is to keep up with the trend and attract the public's attention."

Jiao Chenxi carefully compared the two paintings, whispering.

"It's obviously the first version of the dress, which is more artistic!"

"I also began to realize at that time that the things I like have deteriorated. I tried my best to like this multi-element product, but found that I couldn't do it."

Wu Qi lowered his eyes, and every time he thought about it, his heart was full of confusion and hopelessness.

Jiao Chenxi: "So you are not interested in seeing these now?"

Wu Qi couldn't say anything, just shook his head blankly.

Jiao Chenxi thought: This is why Reversi disappeared!

Knowing that he couldn't force him, Jiao Chenxi leaned back, resting his head on his hands, and lay lazily on the floor.

Slowly said: "Let me tell you a story! Do you want to hear it?"

Wu Qi let out a light 'hmm'.

Jiao Chenxi couldn't help laughing, this is the first time he has seen such a well-behaved patient since he started his career.

"I went to school early, and I was younger than the children in the same grade. I did everything for 3 minutes, and my attention was always not as good as that of other children. My parents heard others say that elementary school can repeat grades, and they also thought about letting me repeat grades. Children of the same age are in the same class, so it will not be too hard."

"But I just don't agree, because I liked my class teacher at that time, and I was worried that if I stayed in the grade, I would never see her again."

As he said that, Jiao Chenxi couldn't help laughing, then he straightened up and sat up, approaching Wu Qi jokingly.

"Do you know why I liked her so much then?"

Because of his sudden approach, Wu Qi leaned back a little like a conditioned reflex, thought for a while, and asked, "Are you a girl?"

Jiao Chenxi nodded.

"Because she's beautiful?"

"No." Jiao Chenxi shook his head.

"Because she was nice to you?"

"NoNoNo." Jiao Chenxi proudly stretched out his index finger and shook it.

Wu Qi frowned and asked, "Why?"

"Because she can tell stories!" Jiao Chenxi said with a smile: "When I was young, I loved listening to other people's stories, even the nonsense made up by the elders."

After speaking, he pillowed his arms again and lay back on the ground.

"I don't know if you know the story of the whale Alice." Without waiting for Wu Qi to react, Jiao Chenxi continued directly.

"It's okay if you don't know, I'll tell you briefly."

"Alice is the loneliest whale in the world. Humans discovered it in 1989, and started tracking recordings in 1992. It was found that its frequency was 52 Hz, while the frequency of normal whales was only 15-25 Hz. So over the years, in other In the eyes of the whale, Alice is like a mute. There is no friend around to listen to her talking and singing, no one understands when she is happy, and no one pays attention when she is sad. Because her frequency has always been different."

After Jiao Chenxi finished speaking, he took a deep breath and looked straight at the ceiling.

"The teacher said that she was like Alice in the story, lonely and lonely, as if this world was created for others, and she couldn't get involved anyway. She said..."

As Jiao Chenxi slowly recounted, the lonely face of the teacher at that time seemed to appear in front of his eyes again.

"People get lonely as they get older, but no one is 100% lonely. Before finding the meaning of life, everyone is full of expectations."

...It's just that you need to experience countless times of loss before you decide to leave.

Jiao Chenxi didn't say the last sentence.

"I didn't quite understand this when I was young, I really couldn't understand it. But when I grow up, I can understand that feeling." Jiao Chenxi's eyes showed a rare seriousness.

After Wu Qi listened quietly, he asked softly.

"Your teacher, how is it now?"

Jiao Chenxi propped himself up and sat up, lowered his eyes and said, "She passed away when I was in the third grade."

"Is... what happened?" Wu Qi continued to ask, as if he could feel the pain of the female teacher.

"It was during class one day. I heard that someone found that she had taken an overdose of sleeping pills at home."

suicide……

Wu Qi's eyebrows twitched suddenly, and he pretended to ask plainly.

"Is it also because of...depression?"

He couldn't help but worry a little about whether his end would be the same. If he really couldn't hold on anymore, would it really be a good thing for others...

Jiao Chenxi didn't answer, but looked at Wu Qi with indifferent but firm eyes, and spoke with such a calm voice that he had never done before.

"I know what you're thinking, but I want to tell you. I've experienced this once, and I won't let it happen to me again."

He lowered his eyes.

"I said at the beginning that I liked that teacher very much, but she still left. It's not because no one loves her, but because the person in her heart has disappeared. However, life is not at the end, how do you know that life can still continue?" What a surprise for you!"

Jiao Chenxi raised his head again, and there seemed to be light in his eyes.

"Xiaoqi, at least... you still have someone in your heart, right?"

Wu Qi met Jiao Chenxi's persistent eyes and nodded slowly.