The years you healed

"Brother!" Jiao Chenxi shouted eagerly.

He just let him go, hanging his head in frustration.

Jiao Chenxi knew that there was no point in catching up now. Before his mood was adjusted, the thoughtless communication would undoubtedly aggravate his heart disease.

It's just that I didn't expect that that night——

"We don't want to be together anymore." Wu Qi said sullenly with his head down.

Jiao Chenxi was startled, and immediately froze in place.

"what do you mean?"

Wu Qi closed his eyes hopelessly: "I know my condition is getting worse day by day, I... really can't hold on any longer, I'm so tired."

"So you're... breaking up?"

This was something that Jiao Chenxi never dreamed of. At that moment, he seemed to be unable to hear his own voice.

He knows that this is a common problem in the emotional aspect of patients with depression. They often don't know how to express their love for someone.In the end, they couldn't control their emotions, because they were afraid of hurting each other, they would only choose to distance themselves silently.

Seeing Wu Qi drooping his eyes, not daring to look at himself, and nodding his head with minimal movement, Jiao Chenxi suddenly panicked, trying to change his mind with comforting words.

"If it's because of illness...it's okay, we can face it together..."

But when he just touched his finger, Wu Qi instantly retracted it like an electric shock.

"I know, I know you will say that. You are very good, I like you very much, but the more I like you, the more I feel that I am not worthy of you."

While talking, Wu Qi lowered his head to cover his face, and could vaguely hear his low voice choking.

Seeing him suffering so much, Jiao Chenxi suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness, which was powerlessness that he had never felt before.

"Brother..." He didn't touch his body this time, but moved his face closer and called him softly.

"You can find the good in others, why can't you look back at your own good points." Jiao Chenxi's eyes were red, and he held back his tears. "And... us, we obviously got together with great difficulty, don't say give up so easily."

Wu Qi raised his eyes and saw Jiao Chenxi's awkward appearance, obviously he felt very uncomfortable, but he still had to hold back.

Wu Qi understood that this kind of suffering and pain was brought to him by himself. A sunny boy like Jiao Chenxi could have lived a happy life because of his own incompetence...

"I know what's going on with me. I really feel like I'm hopeless." Wu Qi looked up at Jiao Chenxi.

"Now the more I want to get closer to you, the more I want to push you away, far away." Wu Qi's tone was a little weak. "I can't bear to make you sad, but I can't make you happy. You used to laugh every day, but now I can't give you anything but sadness and bad heart. I think, as long as we know that we are still in the same In the world, I am very satisfied."

Jiao Chenxi covered his mouth and kept shaking his head, tears could not help but slipped from the corners of his eyes, he stepped forward and hugged Wu Qi tightly.

Wu Qi didn't dodge, but with empty eyes, he said lightly, "I've thought about this decision for a long time."

Hearing this, Jiao Chenxi sobbed. It turned out that the blandness and estrangement during these days, and his deliberate avoidance were all paving the way for this moment.

"You are a very good doctor and you will definitely develop yourself, so don't waste your time on me anymore."

While reluctant to push him away, at the same time, I don't want to bring my negativity and depression to him, and wish to keep him far away from me, the farther the better.

Jiao Chenxi sniffed, gently pushed him away, looked at Wu Qi's face with red eyes, his appearance was still the same as before, but he seemed to have changed suddenly.

"Are you serious?"

He would occasionally hear Wu Qi having negative thoughts before, but it was the first time he heard Wu Qi voluntarily giving up treatment.

He is not afraid of Wu Qi expressing his negative emotions, but he is afraid that this kind of negativity will become his attitude one day.

"Every word I say is from my heart. You can treat me as a scum or a scum, but I'm really... sorry." Wu Qi lowered his head and closed his eyes in pain.

Jiao Chenxi gritted his teeth, grabbed Wu Qi by the collar, and looked at him fiercely.

"Can you say that again!"

His eyes were moist, and he couldn't help shaking while speaking: "You fucking put me to sleep, and now you don't admit it!"

"I……"

Wu Qi didn't know what to say, usually the most annoying thing was Jiao Chenxi crying, this was the first time I saw him lose his temper, and the tears couldn't stop falling down.

In order not to hug him, Wu Qi tightly clenched his fists, not even realizing that his palms were turning purple from nails.

Jiao Chenxi stared at Wu Qi tightly, his eyes were already oozing a little red blood.

Anger rushed to his head like a flood of beasts, he imprisoned Wu Qi's hands and pressed him on the bed.

She leaned over and kissed his lips hard, and kissed all the way to his neck.

"..."

Wu Qi looked at the ceiling silently, and after a while, he felt that the person on his body gradually stopped venting, and began to tremble and sob softly.

The last line of defense in his heart suddenly collapsed, Wu Qi slowly turned his gaze to Jiao Chenxi, and saw that he was sobbing with his head bowed, in great pain.

Although Wu Qi could easily break free from Jiao Chenxi's grip, he didn't.Instead, he took a deep breath, gritted his teeth, and after a great ideological struggle, he was defeated by his own sensibility.

He looked at Jiao Chenxi's tears that were becoming more and more uncontrollable, and called softly and affectionately.

"Chenchen, don't cry, my heart hurts."

As soon as he finished speaking, Jiao Chenxi raised his eyes and looked at him with red eyes. The tenderness in his eyes seemed to be his little chess game coming back.

How much Jiao Chenxi wanted to drag him and yell at him, making him eat what he just said verbatim, but when the words came to his mouth, he could only cover his mouth and cry silently.

Seeing Jiao Chenxi being so wronged, Wu Qi regretted it, and wished he could take his heart out, and gently took him into his arms to coax him.

"I was wrong, and I will never say it again." All the toughness Wu Qi had accumulated through hard work collapsed at the moment when Jiao Chenxi burst into tears.

He hugged Jiao Chenxi who was crying like a teardrop, and the tears in the corners of his eyes couldn't stop streaming down.

"I'm just afraid of hurting you. I will always delay you with my appearance."

Jiao Chenxi shook his head again and again, and buried himself in Wu Qi's neck: "I'm not afraid of anything, I'm afraid that you don't want me."

That night, the boredom and depression that had been suppressed in my heart for a long time were finally relieved.Wu Qi, who had never cried in front of outsiders, cried like a child in front of Jiao Chenxi.

"I'm telling the truth today."

In the middle of the night, Jiao Chenxi hugged Wu Qi, his eyes were closed, and he hummed softly in his nasal cavity to express his doubts.

"Ok?"

Wu Qi: "I really don't deserve you to waste any more time, you... ah!"

Jiao Chenxi frowned tightly, and before he finished speaking, he stretched out his hand and thumped his abdominal muscles.

Get angry when you hear this!

"Brother, don't always think about driving me away. My psychological quality is strong enough. Even if you lose your temper at me one day in a bad mood, I won't leave you because of this."

Jiao Chenxi propped up his upper body, gently stroked his head, imitating Wu Qi's accent.

"Besides, you are not me, how do you know if I will regard you as a drag?"

Wu Qi pursed his lips: "This sounds a bit familiar."

Jiao Chenxi didn't deny it, and leaned over to burn a kiss on his forehead.

"In this world, everyone is living for themselves or someone else."

Jiao Chenxi paused, and said, "If you can't live for yourself, can you... live for me, live well. Huh?"

God knows how much courage it took for him to say those words.Patients with depression have a weak sense of survival. Probably in their opinion, this sentence weighs more than any other thing in the world.

"Live for you?"

Looking at Jiao Chenxi's firm eyes, Wu Qi was silent for a while, not knowing how to answer.

If he had only temporarily regained his sense of normalcy, before he could look at everything from a positive perspective, he would not dare to make such a heavy promise lightly.

After all, depression is a difficult disease to deal with.

"Brother, promise me that no matter what happens in the future, don't carry it on your own." Jiao Chenxi gently twisted Wu Qi's bangs. "Whether it's good or bad, you must talk to me when you encounter mood swings. If you are happy, you will be happy together, and if you are sad, you will be sad together. Tell me no matter what you feel, okay?"

Wu Qi nodded, the corners of his lips raised slightly.

"it is good."

What Jiao Chenxi didn't know was that there was only one short sentence in Wu Qi's letter the night before.

"For you, let's last another day."