I still don't want to go to school today

"My mother... my grandpa," he took a deep breath, and changed the subject for the third time, "I... I was about... when I was eleven or twelve years old, something... made my mother very angry."

"That should be the worst time for my grandpa. But I didn't know at that time... I just remember that one day he suddenly came to pick me up from school alone. I was... quite happy at the time."

Xu Zhijian came over and handed him the milk.When holding the glass, he found that his palms were too wet, and he seemed to be sweating a lot.

"Looking at it now, he should have sneaked here from Linshi by car. But at that time, I left with him without thinking. It was normal at first..."

"But then I found out that he wasn't taking me home. I became more and more... scared. My mother found me very late, and there were still police... It became a big mess."

He failed to make things clear.Head ache from restlessness.

"Anyway... it's my fault. I shouldn't have left by myself in the first place, but I should have waited for her obediently there. I made things difficult for her, made her worry like crazy, and asked her to blame grandpa and dad... …The other people did nothing wrong. It should be that from that day on, they would quarrel whenever they were in the same room, and then my dad took me to Linshi, and then I met Aunt Lin... I was a mistake. I Mom and dad don't get along at all, and it took so long to leave because of me."

"And I was born with a disease, and I have been causing trouble for her since I was a child. If she gave birth to another person, who can not make her angry, can be obedient and not run around, maybe I can still love her very much—"

"Don't think so."

"It's true, I'm not blaming myself." He lowered his voice, "I always wanted to leave her and everything became like this. I always, always, always wanted to leave her. A long time ago Thinking so. She knows. That's why she is always so...extreme. I forced her to become like this."

"I said no—"

Xu Zhibian probably felt that his tone was too tough, and he immediately apologized the moment he came back to his senses: "Am I... Do you want me to walk away for a while?"

Fu Luojia was still in a daze, didn't bother to speak, just shook his head vigorously.Xu Zhiyan deliberately eased the atmosphere, hesitated for a while and said, "So you still remember what happened that day. I asked you several times before, but you still said that you couldn't remember clearly——"

What Xu Zhijian meant was that he knew these things.Of course, Xu Zhibian knew a lot about him - but there was still something wrong.

"You asked me? That day..."

Xu Zhibian put the milk aside, then bent down.A corner of his clothes was pinched, and then lifted upwards.

"This is it."

The clothes were removed to the chest, and the waist and abdomen were exposed.He didn't stop Xu Zhibian's movements, but he was still a little stiff.When Xu Zhibian's fingers touched the skin, he couldn't help shaking.

By the way, there is a scar here.Xu Zhibian did ask.

"This must be the injury that day." Xu Zhibian raised his head. "Do you remember?"

"This isn't—" He frowned, trying to remember. "It was accidentally hit."

The healed wound is slightly darker in color than the surrounding area. "But it's a knife wound."

"……how do you know?"

"I saw it."

"What did you see? Where were you?"

Xu Zhibian looked a little discouraged. "You remember that day, but you don't remember me.—No, you don't remember everything about that day."

He was speechless.

He never thought he had forgotten anything important.But at this moment, a voice suddenly came out from the bottom of my heart and crazily denied it: No.It's not like this.

Want to cover up.

"I like to follow you." Xu Zhibian was not in a hurry. "At first you didn't know, but later you knew and acquiesced to me doing this. I followed you at the time."

"You remember wrong." He sat up. "It's very late, go to sleep. Tomorrow... I'll make you breakfast tomorrow."

After a long time, Xu Zhijian said again, "I didn't. It was obvious that you were injured that day...why do you think it was you who were wrong?"

Still fall asleep at night.As soon as consciousness broke away from reality, a woman's high-pitched scream sounded in my ears.

The sound was sharper than the sound, like fingernails rubbing back and forth on the glass.The dead leaves crunched under people's feet, he was held in his arms, and he opened his eyes in a dream.

Looking around, I didn't see anyone who had been waiting for a long time.

It was a familiar scene, but a strange feeling suddenly ran through the whole body - pain.So he also called out.

The woman's screaming turned into crying.

Why are you running around with people?Why do you come here alone?Why don't you go home?it's good now!you deserve it!

He was yelled until his head was buzzing, shouting that you were dead, while struggling to crawl out of his embrace.As soon as he moved, the pain all over his body rushed to a certain place, and he touched his lower abdomen.

Hot and humid liquid spilled out of the palm.

He rolled over from the sofa, jumped at the switch, flicked on the overhead light, and was circling around the living room like a headless chicken.

The cat nest in the corner moved, and a small head came out.

"...Sorry." Woke you up.

Hide, it's not safe here.He took the knife and looked for you everywhere.

He is dangerous.He is not your grandpa now.

See that pile of leaves?We hide behind that.It wouldn't have occurred to him to look there.

You wait here, I'll find someone to help.Don't be afraid, as long as you don't make a sound, he will definitely not find you.

—he pushed open the bedroom door.The quilt was rolled up in a corner of the bed, it was hard to believe that there was someone sleeping inside.

Suddenly everything was quiet.

There is a faint warm fragrance in the air, which is completely different from the atmosphere of the living room, like a different dimension.

He didn't make any noise, but the quilt was unrolled in a "swish", like a night-blooming epiphyllum waiting for someone to come.

The person nestled in the stamen raised his head and looked over.

He stopped by the bed. "...you didn't sleep?"

"Come up." Xu Zhijian propped up one side of the quilt with one hand, and his words were still vague.

Without thinking, he kicked off his slippers and got in.

The warm fragrance became stronger, as if Xu Zhibian's chest was the source.

He heard Xu Zhijian swallowing.

"Have you taken your temperature, and has the fever subsided?"

He nodded, and rubbed his forehead against Xu Zhijian's neck.

"...Did you come later?"

"It's the aunt I went to look for." Xu Zhibian's legs were entangled. "Of course I'm here. You just didn't see me."

Xu Zhijian let out a breath.

"It seems that time and space are out of order, you come to ask me this question now. At that time... Was it painful?"

He closed his eyes tightly.

"...Stop talking. Go to sleep."

……

This year's senior year was different from previous years. The first and second clinics were scheduled earlier, and they were used as the midterm and final exams of the senior year.The unified caliber of the teachers is that "the second diagnosis is very important", but because the winter vacation is immediately following, the schedules in the students' minds are like the tail of a dragonfly, skimming over the few days of the exam.

Mrs. Ye brought Fu Luojia to the office three times a day, and told the second doctor to see how the results of the college entrance examination were.

"The rest of the things, can we let go first, huh?" Her words became more and more earnest, "It's not worth it, Fu Luojia, it's not worth it! You will know how wrong you are in the future. My life experience is better than yours. Rich, you must listen to what I say. You can understand what I mean. Among students, even among normal male and female students, there are only a few who can go to the end, not to mention the childish disorder like playing house. relation?"

"...I know. I will try my best to achieve what you said." He has no obligation to do the rest.

"Why...why don't you have the ability to distinguish? What is good for you and what is hurting you, don't you know? What others can give you is limited after all, and it won't last long!"

"Your voice—" he gestured. "Can you lower it a little bit? I forgot to take my medicine today. My head hurts and I'm easily agitated."

Recently, he almost posted the words "I'm sick" on his forehead, at least everyone in the class avoided him when they saw it.Thanks to Tang Cheng's understanding, he preached for him: "Fu Luojia has gone crazy. Have you seen the medicine he took? It's a cure for neurosis!"

The day before the second diagnosis, the classroom was cleaned up, and he was divided into half a piece of glass.The other half was wiped by Zhou Linya. In order not to embarrass her, Fu Luojia specially wiped the outdoor side when she was wiping the indoor side, and switched places to wipe the indoor when she was wiping the outdoor.

However, we still bumped into each other while washing towels at the sink.Zhou Linya threw the water-filled towel into the sink, and a few drops of water immediately splashed on his glasses.

"I'm sorry." Zhou Linya's tone was not harsh. "Well... what's the matter with you recently?"

"..." There are quite a lot, which one should I say?He picked one at random: "My mother is gone."

"Ah?!" Zhou Linya shook his hands and turned the faucet to the maximum.Splashes of water crashed into all directions. "My God, your mother—"

"I've seen her again!! Oh my God—wasn't she fine then?! What's going on? What happened? You mustn't be too sad—Oh my God, your mother is such a nice person ...I'm so sad..."

Fu Luojia glanced at her, and found that her two eye circles were truly red.

"You have to be strong... Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

"..."