Baiyun ambition

The spring rain is long overdue.The rain began to fall endlessly, and the apricot blossoms on the roadside were all beaten to their branches and leaves. I don't know if they can last until Qingming.

Yan Xiru is singing this excerpt of love in an orderly and sweet way, but the two fold plays of "Emotional Movement" and "Love Investigation" have been sung, and it is the turn of this fold "Love Hearing", and they sing for a long time without stopping. To sing forever.

Spring is coming to an end, only lovers in love, spring is endless.

Jiang Jian thought that the boss was possessed by evil spirits, and he read some obscene words and songs all day long at work, which made his expression so turbulent.

Yan Xiru didn't argue with him, and continued humming.Ordinary people say that gods are good, but they don't know that the depths of the white clouds are more carefree.

Lu Fuding plans to leave the hospital.The single room was too comfortable, and the new nurse would still chat with her, already reluctant to let go, Yan Xiru forced him out of the hospital. "Your son is leaving soon. As a father, you still want to hide in the hospital and enjoy the blessings. Go and smash your medicine, old man."

Lu Fuding let out a "hmm", reluctantly.

Yu Fangyun coaxed him: "Master, it's okay. In the future, we will hire more people in the store, and it won't be too busy."

"I'm not afraid of my own hard work, I'm afraid that my son will be fooled by others without knowing it!" Lu Fuding glanced at the silly apprentice as he said, "Why am I telling you! You two stupid A virtue!"

After leaving the gate and sent him to a place where no one was around, Yan Xiru directly left the old man alone, lowered his head to rub Yu Fangyun's ear, and finally found a chance to say some promiscuous words.Lu Fuding on the side would rather be ashamed of his old eyes, see the shadow of the mountain under the water, and turn a blind eye.

There was thunder in the rain that day, and the water splashed everywhere, and the moss on the bluestone slab was noisy.

A few graduate students came to the ward of general surgery. Yan Xiru was demonstrating the operation for them. He received several consecutive calls from Zheng Changyuan, so he had to answer them. The other side didn't speak. There was a lot of noise, mixed with the cries of women and children, and suddenly came There was a loud crash.

Yan Xiru was shocked, and shouted Zheng Changyuan's name.

The other person answered him and said a few more words, Yan Xiru finally heard clearly.But he opened his eyes wide and froze on the spot in disbelief.The students only saw the professor's arm slumped down, and the oval forceps in his hand hit the ground with a bang.

Yu Fangyun came home from overtime work, and saw someone sitting at the door of his house from a distance. He thought it was Yu Lin and couldn't find the key, so he walked a few steps and saw that it was Yan Xiru.His hair was beaten into smooth hair by the rain, his hands were curled up on his knees, and he looked devastated.

He blamed: "It's raining so hard, why don't you know how to take an umbrella?"

Yan Xiru didn't answer, and grabbed his hand, which was many times warmer than his own.After entering the door, Yu Fangyun wet his hair with hot water, wiped off the mud spots on it with a towel, and put his fingers under it to loosen the sticky hair.Yan Xiru remained silent, all thoughts were covered by the buzzing sound of the hair dryer.

The noise stopped abruptly, Yu Fangyun stood in front, covered his head with a fluffy towel, and heard the voice of the person under the towel, who was not warmed by the heater at all.

Yan Xiru said: "Liao Sijun is dead."

Liao Sijun died in a car accident this morning when the rain was heaviest.

The day before, he and a young doctor went to the county hospital below Longshan Mountain to support the operation. The operation lasted all night, and he drove back by himself.It was raining in the early morning and the mountain road was rough and slippery.Liao Sijun's car slid out of the road while turning, and rolled all the way from the hillside to the foot of the mountain. Half an hour later, the car and the person were found.The driver still had a breath, but he no longer had a heartbeat.

Liao Sijun's wife usually took the children alone, and her daughter was only seven or eight years old. When she heard the news at the door of the emergency room during the day, she grabbed the ground with her head and passed out from crying.Liao Sijun left in a hurry, without leaving any relics or last words for them, just let go.

After hearing what he said, Yu Fangyun's hands were also stiff.What a decent person Liao Sijun was, he was alone when he left the hospital, and there was no one to see him off when he left the hospital.

Yan Xiru hung his head in silence, there was a mark on the bridge of his nose, whether it was tears or rain.

It was a bit late at night, and he lay down with Yu Fangyun and his clothes in his arms. His hands and feet were cold all day, and he heard the continuous sound of rain outside the window.

With such a heavy rain, the tired birds have no way to return to their nests.Yan Xiru was preoccupied, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Yu Fangyun only turned on a small lamp beside the bed, and turned sideways to meet him in the dim light.

"When Liao Sijun left, he told me that he had seen all kinds of hardships this trip, but he didn't feel discouraged, nor did he think about giving up. He always felt that good and bad depend on each other, and who knows if it will be bright when he goes down." Yan Xiru closed his eyes, Even this little light felt dazzling, "At the beginning, we all believed that we would have a good death...so any setbacks were nothing."

Yu Fangyun gently covered his eyes with his fingers, and heard his dull voice.

"...But people have to live, and they have to live to continue."

The last time Yan Xiru saw Liao Sijun was New Year's Eve.That late-night conversation is still vivid in my mind, and my heart is full of emotions, but this time at the funeral, there is only speechless choking.Zheng Changyuan and Lu Chizhang came together, and Shen Weizhou was on a business trip, so he came back temporarily to say goodbye to his old friend.

At that time, in the eyes of the four of them, Liao Sijun was an unattainable senior. Later, when they got along well, they realized that they were all big boys with no heart.They have slept and traveled together as classmates for five years, and have been drunk together for several times. Now, they passed away early, and the rest of them were blown away by the apricot blossom overnight.

Liao Sijun's wife was sobbing in front of the grave that she almost fainted. The youngest daughter sobbed softly with her mother, but she looked at the black and white crowd curiously from the corner of her eye.She didn't quite understand the sadness of the people around her, but when she looked up, she found that a good-looking brother was also looking at her, so she approached him.

Yu Fangyun gently pulled her soft little hand to protect his back.Those who came to see her father off included the dean, the secretary, the director, and half of the hospital staff who came to present flowers to him. The respect that Liao Sijun didn't receive during his lifetime was all taken back after his death, making it even more grand and solemn.

Thinking about you is gone, but who will care about the living?

Yan Xiru and his party walked out of the cemetery. Several rows of white apricots were planted on both sides of the road, and the wind would fall on the shoulders of passers-by.In the distance, Yu Fangyun stood under a tree and waited for him.

"I'm going back to the hospital. I'll be on duty later, so I can't accompany you..."

Yan Xiru lightly touched his forehead with his palm: "Don't worry, I'm fine."

The apricot blossoms on the top of the head that seemed to be on the verge of falling are also blooming at this time, and they are reluctant to leave the support of the branches, only people are the most ruthless.

The four returned to the university in a detour, the restaurant they used to frequent across the cafeteria was still open, the owner had not changed, the terrace was still dilapidated as before, facing the artificial lake that had never been clear, in the distance It is Tao Li Tower.

Zheng Changyuan leaned on the railing, squeezed a can of beer, and told Yan Xiru: "Friends from the Organization Without Borders said that Liao Sijun had contacted them before being transferred to Zhetaki, and submitted all the information. When he was in school, he confessed that his real ideal was to become a A doctor without borders thought that this time he could finally leave everything behind and realize it, but in the end it still didn't happen."

"Wife and daughter are here, how do we go?" Yan Xiru took a sip of wine, squinted at the sparkling water on the lake, it was no different from when they left.

Zheng Changyuan lit a cigarette, and the ash was finely dusted on the ground: "Liao Sijun was sent to Tongshan No. 1 in the past, and was promoted all the way. When you and the hospital had a quarrel over Lu Chizhang's matter, he happily rejected the one sent by your government. Quota, after you come back, you will be qualified to lead a graduate student, lead a doctorate, and always overwhelm you. Who would have thought... the world is impermanent, it is probably like this."

Yan Xiru shook his head: "When Liao Sijun was in the department, I did not give up on him. At that time, there were constant rumors among colleagues, both openly and secretly accusing him of being ambitious, eager for quick success, and even forgetting why he became a doctor in the first place. But in the end, the man who dedicated himself to his profession first It's him too."

Holding the tin can, he spilled the last bit of beer on the ground: "Perhaps, this is the home of the so-called idealists. We all think that we can change the world, but in the end, only ourselves can be changed by time. What a long time , time is not old...it's all bullshit."

The warm wind was blowing and the smell of alcohol made everyone feel a little drunk.Suddenly there was a loud shout from behind—"Zheng Changyuan!" Shen Weizhou beckoned them over, "Your partner drank too much again."

Zheng Changyuan hurriedly pinched his cigarette and ran over, seeing that Lu Chizhang had already drunk silently and lay on the table, with empty cans lying on the ground at his feet, his blushing like a monkey's ass.He was anxious: "Shen Weizhou, don't you know what to watch?!"

"I've seen that he didn't fall into the mud." Shen Weizhou shook his hands, "I'm going to go to the hospital, you can continue to watch him drink."

Lu Chizhang has always been the most undrinkable of the four of them, but he loves to drink down his head and get drunk all the time.He didn't know where the brute force came from after drinking, and pushed Zheng Changyuan's arm away: "Let Yan Xi Rulai drink with me!"

Ten Lu Chizhangs added up can't make Yan Xiru drunk, so I can only helplessly watch him get more completely drunk.

"I forgive them all, can you forgive me?" Lu Chizhang slurred his speech, and muttered what was hidden in his heart, "Forgive me for running away, forgive me for being timid for so many years, forgive me..."

The muttering sentences can't be heard clearly... I don't know what to ask the other party to forgive him.

Yan Xiru said, "Understood."

"Also... Help me take good care of my father. He is not in good health when he is old. I am too selfish to leave him alone at this time."

"Okay." Yan Xiru answered decisively, and finally showed a smile, "I will not only take good care of your father, but also take good care of your father's good apprentice."

"Zheng Changyuan, come and get your wife back." He helped Lu Chizhang up from the chair, and finally had another drink.

The breeze is smooth, the walls of the cup are clanging, and the past is melancholy, so let go.

Zheng Changyuan carried Lu Chizhang into the car, leaned against the car door, and turned to look at Yan Xiru: "We're leaving next month."

The medical station they were going to was at the foot of the main peak of Altai, next to a large natural forest, with pines, cypresses, birches, and anemones all over the sky.Even if the conditions are tough, there are at least Altay big-tailed sheep that taste fat.But after going to Tianbian for a few years, I don’t know how many times the mountain has changed when I come back.

Yan Xiru said goodbye to him solemnly: "There are mountains and waters, lotus flowers are blooming, and the moon is brighter than usual. Take a good look for me."

Young people don't know the heights of the sky and the depths of the earth, thinking that time is not old, and the years are long, and they only know it today.

——It turns out that the years are never long, what is long is white water and green mountains, and rivers and rivers with many worries.Time never grows old, what grows old is the high spirits, and the place where the young people lean on the railing.

Up to now, Liao Sijun, Zheng Changyuan, Lu Chizhang...everyone is leaving in their own way.

In the darkness, Zheng Changyuan leaned into the car and fastened the seat belt for Lu Chizhang, but the man in deep sleep grabbed his hand, wrapped it around his neck, and held his breath tightly.

"...You don't want to say sorry to me too," said Lu Chizhang, but they both fell on the mat.

Zheng Changyuan said: "Then let me tell you first, it doesn't matter."

Lu Chizhang was still reeking of alcohol, and looked at him with one wet eye, "Thank you for being with me for so many years..." The following words got stuck in his throat, and Zheng Changyuan had to stick his lips and stick out his tongue to draw it out ... some wet and lingering confessions

Zheng Changyuan kissed his unconscious eye: "Thank you too. Thank you for so many years."

The stars are scattered, and we must work hard to find our own light in the darkness.

——His lost eye eventually became a star guiding him on a long journey.

Just as Yu Fangyun came out of the isolation ward, he received a call from Yan Xiru, and the other side was strangely quiet. "What's wrong?"

Yan Xiru let out a soft "shh--" and remained silent for a long time. Finally, there was a slight call from the other end of the receiver. After a long distance, only a gentle ending could be heard clearly, and it floated to a high place.

"I heard it, the bird sings very well." Yu Fangyun said.

"I don't sing as well as you." Yan Xiru chuckled, "I wanted you to listen to the nightingale in our school, but unfortunately it's too far away. Then listen to the sound of the leaves, the sound of the wind, and then... my voice."

Yu Fangyun held his mobile phone and sat by the window sill. Today is a cloudy day, and everything is covered with dust.

"I don't know the question you asked me yesterday."

"...What?" Yan Xiru was talking nonsense in a dream, and he couldn't remember it clearly.Yesterday he fell in Yu Fangyun's ear as if he was drunk, asking him what he could change around him.

Yu Fangyun shook his head to himself, and said: "I don't know what can be changed, but if it weren't for your mother decades ago, my mother might not have escaped the typhoon, nor would I have met my father, and there would be no me." .Maybe because of your mother's sacrifice, I will exist."

"So, at least you changed my life."

Yan Xiru's breath was stopped by the words, the logic was utterly unreasonable, but it seemed very reasonable.

Yu Fangyun was determined: "Therefore, there is nothing that will not be rewarded. Don't worry, take your time, go slowly, I will wait with you."

At this moment, a small ball of moonlight broke through the dark clouds and projected onto Yan Xiru's hands, as pale as water.The torrent of time is cruel, but when you go far and look back, it is just the gentle handful of water between your fingers.

He shouted: "Fang Yun."

"Ah."

"Ever since I met you, I've always thought that it would be great if we knew each other earlier. We have so many opportunities to meet earlier. But I also thought that even if you appeared earlier, I fell in love with you earlier. At that time, I was young and energetic Being impulsive, you may not be able to properly handle this relationship." Yan Xiru clenched his thumb tightly and grabbed the running water in his hand, "So, you showed up just in time, neither earlier nor later."

Yu Fangyun's breathing was shallow, matching Yan Xiru's voice at this time.

"...Thank you for traveling through mountains and rivers to replace my moon."