drifting dreams broken heart

Shu will buy two breakfasts every morning, and that one is for Mo Bai. Mo Bai once rejected his offer, but Shu is obviously indifferent, and still puts breakfast on Mo Bai's table on time every day.For her who has to stay up late and study hard every night, getting up early in the morning to buy breakfast is indeed a luxury.Not long after, Mo Bai also frankly accepted this fact.

Shu always maintained an arrogant and stern attitude, walked into the classroom, took out breakfast from her schoolbag, shared her share, put it on the table without saying a word, turned around and left, even unwilling to accept Mobai's cautious thanks .But after class, he wandered around Mo Bai as if he wanted to find his lost soul, looking for some jokes to make jokes.

Shu clearly understands that he and this guy in front of him will not have a pure friendship, but even though he knows well that Mobai will still use more than friends to prevaricate himself, Shu still stubbornly believes that there is hope.Of course the results were disappointing as expected.What is gratifying is that Mo Bai is indeed treating the rat with a more intimacy than ordinary friends. Except for him, other boys have never enjoyed this preferential treatment.But it was also this ambiguous attitude that completely pulled the mouse into the abyss of empty obsession.Once the mouse feels the lingering hope, it will cast 12 points of enthusiasm, but in the end it can't escape the result of being hit in the head.

"Maybe it's because I'm slowly enjoying this process. Could it be that I have a tendency to be masochistic, no way." When alone, Rat always thinks about these questions.Shu could see that Mo Bai didn't hate herself, and she was a girl who longed to be loved.

That girl would neatly transcribe the lyrics of Simple Love and Qilixiang in the notebook; she would watch the life and death of the male and female protagonists in Korean dramas, and she couldn't help herself when she saw the tears flowing; I will give myself a headphone cable; I will stack a large glass jar full of thousand paper cranes and send it to myself on my birthday; I will put my hands in my ears in winter ... Shu thought quietly, stuffed his schoolbag into the desk, took out the steamed stuffed bun and gnawed on it, it was so salty, Shu frowned, and didn't stop chewing, only a fool would believe that love is always pure and without sorrow.The mouse swallowed hard, and the bun in his hand felt a little saltier.

As the summer vacation approached, Shu and Mo Bai had a big fight.The reason is also very simple. During the chat, Mo Bai inadvertently expressed his persistent goal of keeping his first love in college. There is no doubt that these words were obviously aimed at the mouse.Shu looked at her with disdain, but did not speak. Mo Bai continued to sell her pure love values, and described the scene where he and the unknown man in his heart raised eyebrows and respected each other as guests. , suddenly felt quite annoyed, but didn't say anything.At the end, Mo Bai added mockingly, don't think too much, it's not you.

This sentence angered the rat.

"I really hope you find a scumbag, the type who is especially good at coaxing girls with sweet words, and then let you experience your platonic spiritual love, and finally completely crush you childish dream mice." The mouse's tone was strong.

Mo Bai was taken aback for a moment, and then he was not to be outdone, "That's impossible, my other half will never let me down. With my personality, that kind of scum will never appear around me, I will Automatically blocked. If there is a fish that slipped through the net, it might be you."

"Me? Usually teasing you with smooth talk?" Rat raised his voice.

"You can't say that. Anyway, I won't meet a scumbag. You are just worrying too much."

"Then you should continue to maintain your standard, be sure to carry it out to the end, and be unwavering."

"I will, I will love him well, support him silently behind him, work hard together with him, and create a small world that only belongs to the two of us. Don't marry yourself."

"Sure enough, he is a guy who lives in a dream, go and live your big dream." Shu thought to himself, frowned, got up and left the classroom.

Walking on the road, the more the mouse thought about it, the more angry it became.

"It's fine if you don't agree. I don't say anything when I talk about childish love dreams, but what does it mean to target me everywhere and always treat me as a negative example? Could it be that treating someone who doesn't like you well will make yourself cheap The mouse suddenly felt that his previous actions were quite stupid, because such wishful thinking might be worthless in the eyes of others, and he realized that the sympathy with Mo Bai was after all an illusion, so he should stop those unnecessary efforts and give each other some face. The most important thing to do is that it is not such a painful thing to become a passerby with Mo Bai now.

The change in attitude began to appear that day, the whole afternoon Shu lay motionless on the table, absent-minded and impatient with Mo Bai's questions.Even in order to avoid meeting Mo Bai who was sitting in the front row, the mouse changed to the back door of the classroom.From that day on, he never took the initiative to chat with Mo Bai again, and even canceled the breakfast service. Although such an approach was very rude, it was in line with the mouse's style of doing things.And Mobai was not to be outdone, at first he would jokingly try to test the mouse's emotions intentionally or unintentionally, but it didn't last long, and he became quite mean, as if from a certain day he made up his mind not to get entangled with the mouse anymore, indifferent There is nothing less than that, and it even has a strong sense of disgust and condemnation, which is unexpected by the rat.But that was the end of the matter, and there was nothing wrong with these details, and the rat was very open-minded.

The awkward relationship between the two became completely familiar strangers after a summer vacation.At the beginning of school, Shu heard that Mo Bai had moved out of the school dormitory and rented a house outside.The rented room is said to be quite far from the school, Shu wanted to ask Mo Bai why, but suddenly felt that he was ridiculous, so he gave up immediately.

The two once had a brief exchange when they were having a graduation meal, and it is better to smile and get rid of the sorrow than to repay the grievance.Shu sent Mobai a postcard, which printed the scenery of the university campus where Shu was about to report.Mo Bai gave Shu a set of T-shirts, which were limited edition short-sleeves from a certain brand that Shu had always wanted, and he winked at him vigorously.During the conversation between the two, Mo Bai kept smiling all the time, and folded his hands holding the small printed canvas satchel in front of him, asking the mouse to take good care of himself in the field.The two briefly chatted about a few irrelevant topics, and neither of them touched the core content.After such exchanges, Shu was convinced that he did not feel the sense of belonging that he had returned to the original point, and even felt a little unwilling, which made him even more distraught. After a simple exchange of pleasantries, the two left in a hurry, without even leaving a contact information.

Shu looked at Mo Bai's disappearing figure, recalling the three years they had passed.Everything has quietly changed, and everything seems to be the same, the familiar figure, the friendly voice, the distant longing, the misty dream, just like the carbon paper that has been moved, even if it is rearranged, there will still be some subtleties and irreversible differences.