The world's number one girl attack [Rebirth]

Is there any difference—?If there are two different personalities, then Xia Zhiyan will definitely help Xue Shu kill the new personality without hesitation.But now, both personalities are Xue Shu, but one is the past, the other is the present and the future.One is the previous life and the other is this life.

They are all Xue Shu.No one is attached to whom.

Xia Zhiyan couldn't make a choice at all.

He took a deep breath and sat there with chills all over his body. He knew exactly what answer Xue Shu wanted at this moment, but he couldn't speak.He has no way to kill the other because of one.

Moreover, he is not qualified to make this choice at all.

The floor-to-ceiling windows beside the two of them were facing the city towers, and the neon lights lit up step by step, like running water pouring down from the top, suddenly illuminating Xue Shu's handsome face, the eyebrows were really pale, and the expression on his face was also blurred. Following Xia Zhiyan's silence, he disappeared little by little.

The whole person is not very real.

Xia Zhiyan didn't feel flustered for a while, and could only say: "I've said it before, in my heart, you are the same person."

"Really?" Xue Shu twitched the corners of his mouth and said calmly, "I almost believed it."

Xia Zhiyan: "..."

"If it was him who asked this question just now." Xue Shu raised his eyes to stare at Xia Zhiyan, his black eyes were calm and numb, "Your answer would be completely different. You will coax him, but you will not coax me."

"You can't even pretend to lie to me." Although it was an accusation, Xue Shu seemed to have known this beforehand and didn't have any expectations, so his voice was very light, with no extra emotions other than calm.

Xia Zhiyan was speechless, and felt a pain in his heart.

The meal was full of mixed emotions. When Xue Shu went to pay the bill, Xia Zhiyan was still sitting in the original position, aimlessly putting rice grains into his mouth.He took out his mobile phone and searched for schizophrenia, but none of the cases came up like Xue Shu.

After leaving the Quzhou restaurant, Xia Zhiyan originally thought that leaving that place would make him more or less relaxed, but the facts proved that the big stone in his heart was still tightly pressed, and he never moved away.The car was speeding down the road, Xue Shu drove the car without saying a word, Xia Zhiyan wanted to say something to him, but moved his lips, but he didn't know where to start.

Along the way he received several more calls.Xiao Liu sent the itinerary of the next day's publicity activities to his mobile phone, but he looked at the timetable line by line, but he didn't have the heart to look at it at all.Yao Yao sent him a few more scripts for him to choose, but the names of the people in the scripts all wandered away like tadpoles in his eyes.

He was in a flustered mood, and searched for a while for symptoms such as two personalities, but he couldn't find any results, so he simply turned off the phone.

The car stopped under the hospital, Xue Shu turned off the ignition, glanced at him, and asked, "Are you going back to the set at night?"

"I don't have a scene tonight." Xia Zhiyan said, in fact, the crew had scheduled a scene for him tonight, but he just sent a text message to confirm the cancellation with the director - he still has no intention of going back to filming now.

This day was like riding a roller coaster, with my mood going back and forth, up and down, if it wasn't for my strong enough mental quality, I would have been tossed into a second insanity.

Seeing that Xue Shu pursed his lips and said nothing, he tentatively said, "You finally came out, I want to spend more time with you."

Xue Shu turned his head to look at him, his brows and eyes softened a lot.

The sense of compulsion in Xia Zhiyan's body was much less, and he was slightly relieved.

Xue Shu went to go through the discharge procedures, and Xia Zhiyan went to the ward to pack his things.Xue Shu lived here for more than two months, leaving behind a lot of things, some clothes and so on, Xia Zhiyan packed them all away.There are a few magazines beside the bedside of the hospital bed, which are the weapon illustrations that Xue Shu has been looking at when he was bored in the past few months.

Next to it was a used ballpoint pen.

Xia Zhiyan opened it to take a look, and saw that the pages in the middle of the magazine were destroyed in a mess, and various things were drawn crookedly with a ballpoint pen. When Xue Shu was bored, he scribbled casually, occasionally mixed with "the Yan" two words.Although it was very messy, Xia Zhiyan could almost imagine that the other party was crossing his legs in boredom, blushing and heart beating.

Xia Zhiyan was holding these magazines, wondering if he should put them away and take them home.He stood there, confused.

"The formalities are completed." Xue Shu pushed the door open and came in, his eyes flicked on the magazine in his hand, and his face suddenly darkened.

He stood at the door, and the temperature in the room suddenly dropped by eight degrees.

It's not right for Xia Zhiyan to take it back now, and it's not right to stay here, it's really the first and the second big.What he did just now seemed to remember and miss that Xue Shu in front of this Xue Shu.

In any case, it is always unwise to offend the people in front of you for two magazines.

"Let's go." He threw the magazine aside.

However, Xue Shu strode over, threw the magazine into the bag, and said expressionlessly: "Let's take it back, what if I give up my body to him in a few days?"

Xia Zhiyan: "..."

He moved his lips, not knowing what to say.

Xue Shu also seemed to realize that his tone was a bit harsh, rubbed the center of his brows, was silent for a while, and said, "I'm sorry, I made trouble for no reason."

Xia Zhiyan shook his head: "It's me who should say I'm sorry."

Both of them fell silent suddenly.

It's as if now all they can say is "sorry" and "it's okay".Xia Zhiyan clearly didn't want to do this, he wanted to do something to make Xue Shu happy.But once I speak, no matter what I say, I feel heavy.He owed a lot to Xue Shu in his previous life, and he didn't realize it.He originally thought that treating Xue Shu seriously in this life and liking him well was a kind of repayment.But now Xue Shu from the previous life is back, existing in the absurd way of the second personality, which makes his kindness to the young Xue Shu become something between them.

With such a situation now, Xia Zhiyan only felt that he was about to be played to death.

Xue Shu said, "I'll go down and pay the fee first."

Xia Zhiyan also nodded and said, "Get out of the car, and I'll go down within 10 minutes after I pack up my things."

Xue Shu looked at him, moved a little stiffly, and left.

Leaving Xia Zhiyan sitting alone in the dead silent ward, he sat down on the bed, buried his head in his palm, and took a deep breath.He was about to collapse, but he couldn't show it in front of Xue Shu.He knew that even if he showed a little struggle and unnaturalness, it would be like a thorn in the opponent's heart.

Xia Zhiyan sat with his shoulders shrugged for a while, before he glanced at the wall clock on the wall, 5 minutes had passed.

He packed up all his things, subconsciously walked to the curtain and took a look, only to see Xue Shu's slender figure standing downstairs in the inpatient department.The other party stood there and stood quietly for a while, the fingertips hanging by his side were a little flickering.

At first, Xia Zhiyan didn't know what it was, until he saw Xue Shu turned sideways and took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lit it and took a puff.Under the street lamp, blue smoke dissipated in the air.

Xia Zhiyan stood at the window for a long time unable to move.

Xue Shu doesn't smoke, and has never even touched it.But 27-year-old Xue Shu will.He is not addicted to cigarettes, but occasionally smokes one.

Xia Zhiyan's throat moved, as if something was stuck there.He scratched his hair, his mind was in a mess, and he thought over and over again the few questions that Xue Shu asked him.Suddenly he understood what was making him flustered.

He was able to believe that the two Xue Shus were the same person—or, he forced himself to think so.

But the point is, the two Xue Shus don't think so.

Perhaps Xue Shu in the previous life could be rational and not compete with Xue Shu in this life for his body.Because he knew that this was himself in his youth, he would not kill his past—but what about the young Xue Shu?For him, he didn't know the existence of adult Xue Shu from the beginning to the end, so when he suddenly knew that there was an extra personality in his body.What would it be like to feel that body is occupied?

To him, the self in the previous life was completely strange, but half of everything should be given to that stranger, time, life, father, money, including Xia Zhiyan.

——As long as he is Xue Shu, the possessiveness in his bones will never allow this kind of thing to happen.

Then, when he found out, he would definitely kill the second personality without hesitation, that is, kill Xue Shu in front of him.

Thinking of this, Xia Zhiyan's blood rushed to the top of his head, his hands and feet became cold.

No matter how much he thought they were the same person, it was useless.All the things he is struggling with now are useless.As long as those two personalities don't think they are the same person, this struggle and entanglement will continue, and eventually both will lose.

He didn't know how long he stayed in the ward in a daze until the door was pushed open. Xue Shu waited for a long time without seeing him go down, so he came up to look for him.

There was still silence on the way back.

Xia Zhiyan closed his eyes at first, trying to pretend to be asleep, but his mind was in a mess and he didn't know how to deal with it.

In the dimness, he felt that Xue Shu took a thin blanket and covered him.

Xia Zhiyan's nasal cavity was sore, and the lights of two cars hit his face from time to time, making his eyelids flicker.He finally couldn't help opening his eyes, and asked directly: "Do you know any doctors who can solve problems in this field?"

"Are you awake?" Xue Shu glanced at him, stretched out a hand and pulled the blanket on his body up, and said calmly, "When I first came out, I already contacted a psychologist."

Xia Zhiyan quickly asked, "What happened?"

"It's useless." Xue Shu said: "He prescribed me medicine. In the case of personality dissociation in medicine, most of the final solutions are one personality killing the other personality, that is to say, either I kill him , or he kills me."

"I know everything about the other me. When I first came out, I drank medicine to curb his existence."

Xia Zhiyan: "..." He was wrong, it turned out that they were killing each other.

Xue Shu paused, and then said: "But there is no way. The way the drug works is to distinguish the two personalities through their different behaviors, so as to select the receptors in a targeted manner and kill one of them. But Me and him—me and my teenage self, are completely one person. The drugs can’t tell who is who, and in the end there will be indiscriminate attacks.”

"After I drank the medicine, I had a severe reaction in just a few hours. I felt cold sweat all over my body, my whole body was cold, and my heart rate also accelerated a lot, and I almost had a sudden stop. Then I lost consciousness and waited until I woke up again. At that time, another me has already occupied the body."

Xue Shu's tone was light, but Xia Zhiyan was suffocated. He couldn't believe that Xue Shu was so cruel to him. After a while, he asked hoarsely, "Does he know nothing about all this?"

Xue Shu twitched the corner of his mouth lightly, mocking himself a bit: "Yes, he doesn't know."

Xia Zhiyan clenched his fists, his heart throbbing, angry and distressed, full of anger, but he didn't know who to vent to.He never thought that Xue Shu really wanted to kill himself, it was himself, and he could do it.If it had succeeded then, that sticky boy Xue Shu who had been with him day and night for the past three years would have completely disappeared, no, or it would not have appeared in front of his eyes in the first place.

The fear of loss flooded Xia Zhiyan like a tide, and he could hardly breathe.His eyes darkened, he was anxious and angry, but his rationality told him not to be angry with Xue Shu.What right did he have to be angry?

Xia Zhiyan didn't start, trying to calm down his emotions. After the anger in his blood disappeared, only heartache and self-blame remained.Once he tried to imagine Xue Shu's suffering, he couldn't forgive himself.

He really didn't know what to do.

The car stopped smoothly under the apartment building, and there was silence everywhere, it was already late at night.The window was open a slit, and it was completely dark outside.

Just as Xue Shu was about to push the door and get out of the car, Xia Zhiyan grabbed his wrist.

Xia Zhiyan was sitting in the passenger seat, his heart was still in a mess, he was full of thoughts, but where did he start?

Xue Shu's wrist was a little stiff, but he didn't move.

"Tonight." Xia Zhiyan licked his dry lips and asked uncertainly, "Shall we sleep together tonight?"

Xue Shu was a little stunned, and his expression suddenly became strange—the numbness was mixed with a little surprise, and it seemed that there was still stiffness and grievance, and finally turned into a face with no expression, slightly dazed.

Seeing that he didn't respond, Xia Zhiyan leaned closer and hugged him from the side.

-

2008/05/19

Xue Shu's diary: I was bored every day in the hospital bed, and I couldn't walk with a broken leg, so I could only scribble.