Collection of essays

Time will never stop because of anyone; nor will it speed up because of anyone.It is always like that, walking unhurriedly.

Today marks the full month of Anyang and Shen Mu's acquaintance.

It was also Shen Mu and Ling Zimo who had known each other for a full month.

During this month, Shen Mu became friends with Anyang and Ling Zimo, but his friendship with Ling Zimo was a little more than that of Anyang.

Because in Shen Mu's eyes, Anyang is just a brat, and he has always regarded him as his younger brother; while Ling Zimo and his temperament, character, and even hobbies, for some reason, always agree with each other by accident, every time he finishes the first half of a sentence, Ling Zimo He can always guess the second half of his sentence with a tacit understanding, and he does the same with Ling Zimo.

In a nutshell, in Shen Mu's eyes, Anyang is his younger brother, and Ling Zimo is his confidant.

But Shen Mu regards Anyang as his younger brother, but Anyang not only regards Shen Mu as his elder brother.

Because of the two of them, Shen Mu still dreamed of his mother at night, and woke up to find himself standing in front of the window, but his mood has improved a lot, so he ended his suspension of school.

Today is Friday, and the school will be on holiday tomorrow.So in the last class, the students' mentality was very impetuous.

Under the banner of tutoring, Anyang applied to be at the same table with Shen Mu after Shen Mu returned to school.

As a result, Shen Mu always received countless small notes every day.

Shen Mu rolled his eyes, picked up the note at hand with a helpless expression, and opened it—"Shen Mu, do you have anything to do tonight~ If you have nothing to do, accompany me to eat skewers~"

"Aren't you going home?" Shen Mu turned his head and asked Anyang directly.

"It's okay, my mother is on a business trip today. I haven't eaten skewers for a long time!" Anyang replied with a smile.Looking at his wandering eyes, Shen Mu knew that this kid was playing with some dishonest ideas.

Forget it, anyway, this brat won't hurt him.

Thinking in this way, Shen Mu made a decision that he would regret and feel guilty for in the future - "Then go."

At night, night falls.

Shen Mu sat on the barbecue booth, looking at Anyang who was eating the skewers and drinking beer, he felt more and more that he had led this good student to the wrong.

"Alright, drink less, alcohol hurts your stomach." When Anyang opened the second bottle, Shen Mu finally couldn't help but stop him.

An Yang blushed, and stared at Shen Mu in bewilderment: "Amu, you are worried about me. Amu, do you like me?"

Shen Mu didn't bother to complain about Anyang's name he changed without permission, nor did he bother to complain about Anyang's drinking capacity.He snatched the beer from Anyang's hand, and repeated for the 720th time: "No, thank you. Ghosts will like brats like you."

"But I like you, I like you so much, I have liked you since the first time I saw you in the first year of high school. Amu, it has been a month, and I have finally arrived by your side, and I have been with you for a month. You really, Don't you care about me at all?"

Shen Mu looked at Anyang's red eyes, and felt a little unbearable, but he knew that it would be the greatest cruelty to give Anyang hope at this time, so he had no choice but to say truthfully: "Anyang, I have always regarded you as a younger brother."

Then, when Shen Mu saw Anyang's tears flowed down instantly.

But this child who was squeamish like a girl a month ago didn't cry at the moment. He just forced a smile while making excuses, saying that the skewers were too spicy, and tears came out of him.

Shen Mu knew that Anyang didn't want to show weakness in front of him anymore.

He began to know that Shen Mu hated the weak, so he worked hard to be strong.

Shen Mu felt sorry for Anyang.

But he could only sit opposite Anyang and watch, and then handed him a tissue.

Can't cross the line, can't let him misunderstand, can't give him hope.

The more cruel you are to him, the sooner you can make him let go.

Shen Mu thought so.

But it was just what he thought.

The dinner that day broke up like this.

That night, for the first time, Shen Mu did not dream of his mother.

He dreamed of Anyang for the first time.

Eyes flushed, she said to him, "I'm sorry."

With red eyes, she told him that she loved him.

With red eyes, she said goodbye to him.

The surrounding suddenly turned into the roof of their teaching building, and then Shen Mu watched helplessly, Anyang sat on the railing, fell backwards in front of him.

Just like his father back then.

Only, this time there was no splash.

He rushed over, but saw that there was no Anyang's body downstairs.

There are only people, crowds of people, the familiar and the unfamiliar.They were all laughing, grinning, hideously grinning.

As they spoke, their words were unbearable, and turned into sharp swords, piercing all of them, surrounded by a young man in the center.

That boy is Anyang.

He squatted on the ground and covered his head with his hands. Shen Mu could feel that he was in pain.

Shen Mu suddenly noticed that a woman in the crowd raised her head and showed a familiar smile.

It's his mother.

Shen Mu heard her and said to himself: "Sooner or later, you will lose everything like me."

"Why, I am in such pain, but you, as my son, are happier than me."

"Come down and accompany me, Shen Mu."

"My favorite son, hahahaha..."

Her face began to distort, and the faces of the people around her also began to distort.Shen Mu suddenly opened his eyes, it was fine, he was still standing by the window.

He sighed, habitually took out a cigarette from his trouser pocket, and lit it.

For some reason, this dream made him very uneasy.

After he finished smoking, he went back to his room, turned on his mobile phone and connected to the Internet, and then the QQ message rang like crazy.

The heart beat suddenly and violently.

An invisible force drove him to open QQ.

It's the class.

After reading the news in the class, Shen Mu froze in place.

The phone slipped from his hand and fell to the ground with a loud bang.

Anyang, dead.

Jump 'floor.

Just like in his dream.

Forced to death by public opinion.

He was with Anyang at the barbecue stall yesterday, and Anyang's confession to him was overheard by a person who was jealous of Anyang.

That person is still a classmate in their class.

But how did he do it?

He recorded the sound, took photos, added oil and vinegar, and posted them on the post bar of their school.

This is a society that does not allow the existence of different kinds.

So, curse, slander, curse.

He also sent Anyang's personal information.

He also followed Anyang back home.

Then, send the address up.

Shen Mu couldn't understand how much he hated Anyang.

Only in the name of having the camaraderie of classmates, can they still be so ruthless.

Anyang's family education is very strict, otherwise Anyang would not be taught so well and so naively.

Anyang is afraid that his parents will find out, and he is afraid of hurting his parents.

In addition, she was rejected by Shen Mu just now.

He couldn't think about it.

he's gone.

Shen Mu was left alone, burdened with sins all over his body, and suffered torture in this world.

If it was before, Shen Mu might have collapsed now.

But now, Shen Mu opened WeChat subconsciously.

Ling Zimo.

Ling Zimo.

He sent a voice.

He said the address with a tear in his voice.

He said, Ling Zimo, I need you.

He said, can you, come here, stay with me?

This is the first time Shen Mu has shown weakness to others.

He didn't know why either.

It's just that subconsciously, I feel that Ling Zimo can be relied on.

Ling Zimo came soon.

He didn't say anything, just hugged Shen Mu.

Soon, his shoulders were wet.

He didn't speak.

Just exist.

After Shen Mu calmed down, he told Ling Zimo about Anyang.

Every word is bloody.

But Ling Zimo said: "You won't cry about this."

"What else?"

For the first time, Shen Mu felt that Ling Zimo knew him better than himself.

Ling Zimo smiled, but did not speak.

So Shen Mu started from the beginning.

From the death of his father, to the death of his mother, to his dream.

Shen Mu revealed all the scars in his heart to Ling Zimo bit by bit.

He trusted Ling Zimo.

For no reason, trust.

Ling Zimo also lived up to his trust.

He stroked Shen Mu's wound bit by bit, and said to Shen Mu in the most gentle tone——

"It's not your fault, you're fine."

"All that is just your dream, your subconscious self-blame."

"You have to believe that your mother loves you very much, and your father loves you very much. Everything was just an accident."

"Your mother chose to leave because she was afraid of dragging you down. There is no parent who does not want their children to be happy. You and your mother have no bloody feud. Everything is just your subconscious."

"You are great, you are excellent, your mother loves you very much, your father loves you very much, Anyang will not blame you, no one hates you."

"So you have to be good, Shen Mu."

Shen Mu couldn't help crying again.

The voice whimpered, like a wounded cub.

And Ling Zimo gently stroked his back and told him, don't be afraid, I'm still here.

Cry to your heart's content, vent all your emotions wantonly, I am here, I will not leave, I will tolerate everything about you, your good, and your bad.

I'm like your other self, I understand you, I tolerate you, I comfort you.

That day, Shen Mu cried for a long time in Ling Zimo's arms.

On that day, Shen Mu faintly felt that something was different about Ling Zimo in his heart.

Later, Ling Zimo brought Shen Mu, Ling Zida, and a group of social people whom Ling Zida knew to find that classmate, and everyone beat him up severely.Among them, Shen Mu beat him the hardest.

Then, Ling Zimo and Ling Zida found their friends and entrusted someone to send that person to prison again, where he was sentenced to no term.

Then, Shen Mu heard that Ling Zimo somehow found the family's ancestral grave and almost dug it.

If Shen Mu hadn't received the crying call from that family at that time.

Everything has come to an end here.

Oh, what about Anyang's family, I'm lucky.

Anyang's mother later found out she was pregnant.

It's been three months.

Ten months later, they gave birth to a girl.

Much like Anyang.

It's soft, and it will cry when you poke it hard.

And there is a kind of enigmatic love for Shen Mu.

It made Ling Zimo jealous for a long time.

Oh, at that time, Shen Mu had already recognized his own feelings, but it was Ling Zimo who confessed before him.

Ling Zimo said, do you always need your husband to do things like confession?

Shen Mu chased him and beat him for a long time.

Although Shen Mu understands that the two of them may never be able to be aboveboard and tell the world.

But there are some things, some things, in fact, as long as two people understand each other in their hearts, isn't it?

And after being with Ling Zimo for a long time, Shen Mu's sleepwalking didn't happen again.

He also dreamed once, his mother.

Different from previous dreams.

In this dream, his mother smiled softly, wishing him happiness and wishing him and Ling Zimo a happy life together.

Shen Mu knew, he let it go.

Because of Ling Zimo.

He was very grateful to Ling Zimo.

Although, when he saw Princess An later, he still thought of Anyang and felt guilty.

But everything is already developing in a good direction, isn't it?

There are always regrets in life.

But everything will pass.

good and bad.

Sometimes, there are some things, as long as you focus on the results.

Those horrible, dark processes, just let him bury them deep in his heart.

Then, the wound will heal, and then under the sunshine, new green shoots will grow.

My favorite, the years are quiet and good, and the world is stable.

Every morning when I wake up, I can see you.

Everything is as good as a dream.

The author has something to say:

Envious, his friend in reality.

I hope that someone can make him feel good every day.

Bless him.

wait for him.