jealous tail

When I fainted, I somehow fell into the vortex of the past time. I struggled for a long time, but I couldn’t get out. I tried to think about Jinyeyu, but the more I thought about it, the deeper I fell. I wanted to open my eyes, but I was caught by the nightmare. I can't wake up like I live.

Until I heard the sound of the jingling keys, I was suddenly transparent and at ease. I fell asleep if I couldn’t wake up, and closed my eyes if I couldn’t open them. It was such a simple thing, but I was always thinking about something.

I grabbed a strong arm, called brother, and fell asleep completely.

The water in the box hadn’t completely softened the instant noodles. I received a call from the village director. My grandma died. The death was ridiculous. She choked on the shredded tobacco while smoking a cigarette while lying down, and a mouthful of phlegm was stuck in her throat. I'm out of breath.

I pulled the fork off the instant noodle bucket, stirred the noodles that hadn’t spread out, and asked the director, “Is the house okay?” The director was silent for a few seconds, telling me to go back to the funeral as soon as possible, and I could hear a hint of disgust in his tone And blame, I smiled and said yes, and then bit the dough into my mouth, it was half dry and half soft, but it had a special taste.

I asked for leave with the manager, and the family member said in the leave note was sad. I bit my lower lip when I saw it, for fear of laughing.

I just carried a schoolbag with a power bank and a bottle of mineral water in it, as well as the documents that were wrapped in plastic wrap and wrapped in layers in the interlayer, and then I set off, like a trip when I wanted to leave .

During the peak holiday season, hard sleepers were not available on the train, so I bought a hard seat for the 23-hour journey.

The compartment was in disarray, and the mixed smell made me want to throw up, like a trash can in a university dormitory that no one wants to clean.

It’s been a long time since I went back. On this return bus, I always feel that the years I’ve been out have been wasted. I looked out the window with my schoolbag in my arms.

The mineral water in the bag has not been opened, and the snack carts have been pushed past me countless times. I don’t eat or drink, I want to see if my stomach feels uncomfortable, and will I stop my absurd fantasies.

When the train arrived at the destination, I straightened my already stiff waist. Everyone crowded at the exit and wanted to get off the train as soon as possible, but I didn't want to. I checked the station sign outside the window, and I sighed, it was right.

When I stood up, I fell back on my seat. My legs were so numb that I couldn’t feel them. I looked down and saw that my calves were swollen and blue. After three times, I limped out of the car while holding on to the car seat.

The staff asked me if I needed any special help. I smiled and shook my head. I said I just squatted in the toilet for too long. The sister smiled awkwardly and gave me a hand. Then I wished her a safe journey verbally. Bar.

It takes two hours to take a bus from the train station to my hometown. In the past, there were all small black cars here to earn extra money, specially picking up individual passengers who missed the bus. The price was the same as that of the bus during the day, but it would be five yuan more expensive at night.

Now the station has been rebuilt. Although it is not as luxurious and spacious as the stations in big cities, it is still neat and clean. There are no more small black cars, and the unified bus travels every 15 minutes and is available until ten o'clock in the evening.

I took a look and then turned my head out of the station, waving at the side of the road, which means hitching a ride, a red Xiali stopped, the driver lowered the window and asked me where I was going, I said the location, and he saw me with white skin It's fine, and I'm not a local in all clothes. Ask me for one hundred and fifty.

I gave him five hundred, and told him in a dialect that I had almost forgotten, don’t carpool on the road, walk slowly, it’s better to go until tomorrow morning, the driver smiled, and said that I can walk five or six round trips even if I ride a bicycle tomorrow morning up.

After walking out of the noisy neighborhood, I looked out the window. The car walked into the suburbs. Outside the window, there was an endless corn field, the stalks stood out gloomyly, the corn cobs on the knots were big and fat, and the ears were still light white and soft. On the tip of the corn cob, it looks like a soft-boned beauty. I don’t know if it’s because too much pesticide has ruined the heart and liver.

The county town is not what it used to be, and neither is the village. The muddy road has become a cement road, the cornfield has been covered with various vegetables, the cabbage is like a turtle on the beach, and the carrot leaves are fresh and green, green and red. Chili peppers are hung in a daze, like lanterns and lanterns hanging in the city during Chinese New Year, solar energy is installed on the roofs of every house, and wireless TV receivers are raised into the blue sky.

I leaned against the car window and sighed lightly, ah, I really entered a new era.

It is not the time for everyone to catch up with a broken Xiali in the village. I have seen several BMWs on the way here. It seems that the old Wang sells vegetables well these days.

When I got out of the car, the driver woke me up who was in a daze with my eyes wide open. He said, young man, hurry home and take a rest, I am too tired looking at you.

I thanked him, the door was very light when I closed it, and the black exhaust blasted the air, so I wish him a safe journey verbally.

I was walking on an unfamiliar path. When I was a child, someone’s family had to do funeral things. The owner’s family would set up a tent in the courtyard on that day, and put the corpse and coffin in the tent for the first wave of immediate family members to mourn.

After mourning, the villagers would take a few pieces of soap or white towels to worship at someone’s home. The host’s family made the so-called “three big slices”, which is a hodgepodge of radish, fat meat, and vermicelli.

After all relatives and friends had mourned, lamas were invited to recite sutras and put the coffin in the coffin. Those who had eaten three pieces should contribute to sending the coffin to the ground. The coffin fell into the big pit on the high mountain slope. This funeral is over. This person has completely finished his life, and from now on, lonely souls and wild ghosts will gather together as companions.

At that time, the village was small, and everyone came to help when someone had something to do, and they didn’t care about anything, just being a favor, so that they could relax when something happened to their own family. Our family was special, and it all depended on the old lady to serve as the funeral cook for others. , I don’t know if she sent those out after her death and got them back.

I identified the door by the stone pier. It is very old and has lost its corners. The surrounding areas that were originally smooth by wind and rain became sharp because of the falling off of debris. I carried my schoolbag on my chest and squatted on it to look into the distance. It is much higher, but there is nothing to see in the distance.

I fell off the stone pier and entered the yard of my house that should have been a dilapidated building but was still strong because of little use. There was no tent in the yard, only a black wooden coffin parked under the lush pear tree.

The weather was hot, and her old man was unattractively dead, probably already in a coffin.

The two men sat in the Maza and ate plump and juicy crispy pears in the sun, talking about things in the crop field. The small garden has long been turned into a small vegetable field, except for this pear tree, which is full of shallots and lettuce. There are several tomato plants.

The man looked up when he heard footsteps, and it took him a long time to recognize me.

"Yo, our little doll is back, it's grown up, uncle can't even recognize it."

This is Murakami's accountant, the one who often "sends warmth in the community". I don't have the same spirit as before.

He threw the eaten fruit cores into the vegetable garden and patted his wet hands, "You will wake up your grandma tonight, and tomorrow the folks will come and help you lift the old man directly. If you are alone, you will not leave gone."

I nodded, the director had already passed me and went out, the accountant followed, patted my shoulder before walking, and whispered.

I looked at the coffin in the quiet yard. She had made it since I was born. She said she couldn’t expect future generations to make it for her. She was quite self-aware, but I didn’t know if she had burned some paper money for herself in advance. I don't have the habit of being sober.

There was a bird sitting on the tree, it was sweet and buggy, and it was waiting for a rabbit.

"Little baby, let's mourn and change."

Uncle Li said.

I picked up a lump of mud from the bottom of my foot and smashed it against a tree, startling the birds, dropping a few precarious pears and smashing overripe tomatoes.

I smiled, where I can be sad, I am too late to be happy.