Lost Dreams

Hello everyone, I am Zhang Mu.

I finally finished writing this article. I originally planned to write a special episode about Guanliang and Ziqing, but because it was too long, I forgot the original idea, so I had to give it up for now, and I will make it up in lofter later.

This article was written as a spin-off of "Last Dream" in "Hormones" that I participated in as a planning draft at the beginning of this year. I originally intended to use a Western Fantasy to participate in the draft, but I was crazy about Zhang Ailing's novels during the writing stage. So much so that it got out of control and I wrote "Last Dream" - fortunately, it is still a work that satisfies me.At the beginning, I only wanted to write the story of Yunzhu and Chuyao, so I wrote "Thin Love" from Xia Yunzhu's perspective. It was also this article that made me have a vague setting for Manqing's role. "Her character may have an interesting story!" I thought, and started writing "Last Dreams".

My first step is to sort out the relationship between the characters, and at this time I also put shackles on Man Qing-she must love Yun Zhu but can't.Also because of this, I wrote in the later period that I was very painful and entangled. I knew that Manqing had understood that Junzhu would not love her, but I still wanted Manqing to reject Ruan Yu, be cruel to Ruan Yu, and hurt herself and Ruan Yu .When I write things, I sometimes use my own rules to restrain myself, but Man Qing can barely break through the shackles I gave myself, and become a character that makes me hate, anger, and heartbroken.

Some of the behaviors described in this article are what I hate and hate, but I still write them out.When I read Zhang Ailing's novels, I saw some behaviors that made me tremble with anger. My original reading record said: "I must not have the ability to write behaviors that I cannot accept." Kind of a weird breakthrough (laughs)

At the beginning, I wanted Manqing to have a happy ending, but in the end I left her alone and died alone.At the end of my writing, I imagined a figure of her back, lying on a rocking chair, facing the sunset.She remained motionless, and at last the sun went down, and she lost her life.Since then, in spring, summer, autumn and winter, she has been sitting on that chair, letting grass and dead leaves grow under the chair, and letting the snow cover the body of the cicada.I want her to wear a blue cheongsam and have a pink dream.

Don't mention her for now.

This series is the first time I write about the Republic of China genre, and it can be regarded as a novella.I don't like to write long stories. I always think that I am restrained, easily entangled and helpless, and easy to deviate from the track. This time was also an attempt, but I didn't achieve my original goal in the end.The ending is a bit hasty, and catching bugs by yourself is prone to problems.When I re-read it again, I realized that in order to create the so-called "Republic of China" feeling, I made a lot of repetitions and redundancies, and I hope that the reading will be smoother.

I can't tell you more!I hope everyone can give me criticism or comments!Thank you so much!

Finally, I looked up to the sky and laughed, I was finally able to create other works without any burden!Whether it is good or bad, priceless, it is over!In the end, my nostalgia for this novel became just a memory.

I wish I could still dream of Manqing.

2017. 11, 27

Yu Yu