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This is my third year with Mo Qi.

Sometimes I feel that I am like an overused container. During the day, I have to follow him among the dignitaries, comfort him softly in those turns or behind the scenes, and calm his emotions for the time being.At night, he would have to bear his excess energy, often accompanied by the stress and irritation accumulated throughout the day.

I even feel that cuddling with him for a night is more tiring than playing the piano for a day outside.The closer he gets to me, the more numb I become.

I looked down at his hair, and asked him, "Mo Qi, what shall we do in the future?"

He looked up, sweat dripping down his jaw.

"Who would have thought of this." He reached out and brushed my hair, then buried his face, and said in a muffled voice, "Why do you only ask questions that only young girls ask?"

I stopped talking, and raised my chin with him, and my consciousness began to slacken.His passionate lips were on my neck, right where the aorta was.

In a daze, I thought, if he had murderous intentions now, and he just slapped me, I would have no power to resist.In the dimness, I heard him say in my ear: "Then I like it too. Xian'er, the person I like the most in my life is just you."

I have a very strange problem, no matter how I drink the day before, I will never look good the next day.

It was winter.One time I was late with the banquet, and things were not easy to talk about, so I almost collapsed in the restaurant in the end.When Mo Qi carried me home, I couldn't even go to the bathroom to vomit.

I woke up very late the next day, and it was almost noon by the sky.I remember I had nothing to do today, I just lay on the bed and watched Mo Qi without going out.

That day was supposed to be a rest day, but Mo Qi walked around the hall in military uniform.When he saw that I was awake, he sat down beside my bed.

Mo Qi is already the director of the third branch of the Beijing Supervision Office.I looked at him and said with a soft smile, "Director, do you also wear military uniforms at home?"

Mo Qi rubbed my hair and helped me up to lean against him.He stretched out his arms and hugged me gently, and asked, "Xian'er, do you feel better?"

I rested my chin on his shoulder, the headache still lingering and not getting better after a night of rest.But even if I said it, it didn't make much sense, I just smiled and said, "It's much better."

"Xian'er," Mo Qi helped me up, put his arms around my shoulders, and looked at me, "I was suddenly notified by the higher authorities that Liu Dutong from the Central Committee is coming, just tonight."

"Xian'er," he said in a low voice, putting our foreheads together, "I know you were very tired yesterday, but...the matter of Liu Dutong is very important, you have to go with me."

Such things cannot be excused.I sighed, relieved my dizziness and said, "I'm fine, I'll go with you tonight."

He put his arms around me and patted my back repeatedly.I buried my face on Mo Qi's neck, and smelled the vague smell on his body, as if it could relieve my dizziness.

Liu Dutong's ostentation was bigger than I imagined, and almost all the top figures in the inspector's office came.Mo Qi sat with the directors of several other institutes, second only to the director.

I've already played three pieces in a row, but Liu Dutong didn't want me to stop. It seems that I'm going to play all night.Either way, it's better than going out for a drink.

I looked up from the interval of playing the piano to look for Mo Qi. He was holding a wine glass and talking to Liu Dutong, and it seemed that the conversation went well.If he is successful, I will be at ease.

Halfway through the banquet, Liu Dutong raised his hand to stop my piano: "Boss Qin is working hard, come out and use something."

I turned out from behind the screen, thanked Liu Dutong, and sat next to Mo Qi.

"Boss Qin's piano skills are superb, why bother to sit at the bottom?" Liu Dutong said.

Director Lu next to him said: "I don't even know, Boss Qin and Director Mo are familiar, and every time Boss Qin attends the table, he follows Director Mo."

This person has always been on bad terms with Mo Qi, so I have to play 120 points and be careful.

Liu Dutong glanced at Mo Qi and me with a half-smile, and said with a smile, "Boss Qin must be tired today, so come over to me."

I had a bad premonition in my heart, so I turned my head and glanced at Mo Qi.He whispered: "Go."

I couldn't say anything more, so I stepped forward and stood behind Liu Dutong.

Liu Dutong chatted with someone, poured a glass of wine and held it in his hand, then turned to me and said, "Boss Qin is a national player, let Liu give you a toast."

I can't refuse, so I have to smile.

Director Lu said next: "Everyone here has heard Boss Qin's music to some extent, and it has always been melodious. Should we all toast to Boss Qin?"

Everyone laughed and poured wine, saying respect to Boss Qin.

I couldn't, I went down from the upper seat and went back one by one.When the respect came to Mo Qi, everyone was drinking a little too high, and there was a lot of noise in the venue.Someone even yelled, "Boss Qin and Director Mo have been inseparable for many years, shouldn't they have a drink to show their friendship?"

Everyone burst into laughter.

In the capital city, it's okay for a man to occasionally look for a young lady, but if he has been ambiguous with another man, he will be stabbed in the back by others.

Mo Qi's complexion was not very good-looking.I hurriedly said with a smile: "What are you talking about? Qin was poor when he was young. Thanks to Director Mo's care and help for many years, he can grow up to this day safely. If the director needs anything, Qin should naturally help him with all his strength to repay the director. Loving for many years."

One of them said: "This patronage, to what extent is the patronage, and where is the patronage going?"

The crowd laughed again.

Mo Qi's face was livid, she gritted her teeth and didn't speak, nor looked at me.I looked at him and suddenly felt something digging in my heart.I remained calm on the surface, and said: "Director Mo is upright and upright, and has always been upright."

"What about Boss Qin? Could it be that King Xiang has no intention, and Goddess has a dream?" Liu Dutong asked suddenly.

I was surprised that Mo Qi didn't mention any conflicts between him and Liu Dutong before he came.Why are you targeting him all of a sudden?

My thoughts changed sharply, in front of Liu Dutong, Mo Qi must not be involved in this kind of questioning.If one is not good, his business operations over the years will be in vain.

I took a good look at Mo Qi, but he still didn't look at me.I understood, looked at him and said in a slow voice: "Director Mo is a talented young man with a bright future, and Qin is yearning for him."

My voice was rough, and I continued: "Qin has repeatedly expressed his favor to Director Mo, but Director Mo has always..."

Mo Qi suddenly looked back at me, her eyes were as bright as knives.

"Director Mo has always ignored it, and reprimanded Qin for being incompetent and corrupt in character." I looked into his eyes and continued firmly, "Qin has been pestering endlessly, but Director Mo has always been upright and upright. Bewitched by Qin Mou. And advise Qin Mou to abandon the dark and turn to the light, so that he can do it himself."

Mo Qi pinched the wine glass so tightly that her knuckles turned white.He looked at me without saying a word.

I looked him in the eyes, desperately hoping that he would say nothing, but secretly hoping that he would say something, just a little.

After all, Mo Qi didn't say anything, turned to everyone to raise their glasses and said: "I let everyone misunderstand, I punish myself with a drink." After finishing speaking, he picked up the wine glass and drank it down in one gulp.

misunderstanding.

I said the words myself, and Mo Qi's words still made me shudder unavoidably.Mo Qi, do you really think of me like this sometimes?Starting with the farce that you and I knew was a misunderstanding in itself.

I recovered and looked at Mo Qi, his adjutant hurried over and said something to him.After Mo Qi heard this, she waved her hands to everyone and said excuse me, then turned and went out.

When I turned my head again, I saw the officers who were full of benevolence and morality just now were all holding their wine glasses, with excitement, secrecy and some kind of excitement on their faces, and they all surrounded me in unison.Leaving Mo Qi is like the only sheep among wolves.

I don't remember what happened that night, can't remember.

I only remember that my eyes were bloodshot, and there were bloodstains on the skirt of my clothes.I don't know if I vomited it myself or someone else hit it.It doesn't matter what it is, anyway, there is not much difference in feeling.

The pain in my head, stomach, and limbs has made me numb, and I can't even tell where the wine has been spilled.

I told myself it was all a misunderstanding.

What keeps me awake is the cold with bare skin.My clothes were torn, my hands and feet were tied with thick hemp ropes, and I was held high in the air.

At that moment, I experienced unprecedented panic. I looked around desperately until I found a huge artificial lake not far from the guild hall.

I was in mid-air, the feeling of weightlessness mixed with the stimulation of alcohol and the coldness of the wound made me sober.I looked at the quiet stars in the night sky, but what I thought of was Mo Qi's eyes.

The moment I touched the ice water, I heard Mo Qi's voice changed: "Qin Xian'er!"

Water poured into my throat and nasal passages, urgently oppressing my brain.Feeling suffocated is more of a struggle than being drunk.Luckily the cone pain only lasted for a moment and I lost all consciousness soon after.

I woke up shortly after, with a tremendous pressure squeezing my lungs and forcing my eyes to open.

Mo Qi hugged me, half kneeling by the artificial lake, there was no one around.

His body was soaked, and water was dripping from his hair.He leaned me on his shoulder and asked anxiously, "Xian'er? Look at me, Xian'er?"

I looked at him, trying to remember how he looked at this moment.I waited for a long time before I could speak.

"Mo Qi... I owe you the truth..." With the last of my strength, I grabbed his collar tightly, exhaled hard, and tried to make a sound, "But I didn't expect... I ...so cheap..."

I woke up suddenly from the dream, the movement was too big, and my right arm hit the bedside table.There was a jingling sound from the things above it.

"Qin Xian'er?" The same voice was still under the window, still a little confused, maybe I was woken up.

"What's wrong with you?" He seemed to stand up and walked down the corridor.

Because of the palpitations in my dream, I took a moment to say: "It's okay."

I closed my eyes, but couldn't fall asleep because of tossing and turning, the stars in the night sky were all in front of my eyes.I lifted the quilt, walked slowly to the door of the east chamber, and looked at Mo Qi.

"Why did you come out in the middle of the night?" Mo Qi rubbed her eyes and stood up, "It's already autumn, you need to wear some clothes."

I walked outside the house and stood on the porch of the east wing.I only wore a set of white unlined clothes, and it was indeed a little thin to stand in the September night.

"Xian'er?" Mo Qi had fully woken up, walked down the steps and looked at me.

"Misunderstanding?" I said suddenly.

Mo Qi was stunned.

I didn't rush him, just stood straight like this, waiting for his answer.

"Never." Mo Qi said after a long time, "Xian'er, there was never a misunderstanding between you and me."

I looked at him with mixed feelings in my heart.Years of pain and scars have scabbed over a long period of time, and even if they are opened again, they will not ooze blood, leaving only a scar.

I was silent, finally nodded and said: "Okay."

"Xian'er." He stopped me who was about to turn around.

My heart hurt, I couldn't control my expression for a while, I just turned my back to him and waited for his words.

"You hate me, I deserve it." There was a tremor in his voice, "But even so, can you let me... see you more."

My chest was filled with qi and blood, and my mind faintly began to faint again.It's just that this time my throat seems to be a little fishy.

"Whatever you want." I tried my best to leave two words for him, and closed the door behind me.

Back in the East Chamber, I couldn't hold back anymore, and spurted a big mouthful of blood straight forward.The whole person staggered and fell forward to the ground.

The cold ground brought me back a little bit of my consciousness, and I pressed my forehead against the rough ground, trying to calm down, pressing back the words I wanted to say and the blood that flowed out.But this time, I can't seem to do it.

I watched the viscous blood meandering on the ground, leaving red traces, flowing along the slope of the ground to the table legs.

When it is blindly black, it still has bones, and when it is very red, it turns to ashes.

The author has something to say:

The last sentence comes from a couplet chanting charcoal by Xu Zonggan in the Qing Dynasty.