Rest and Be Thankful

"Why did you have to do that?" Cam demanded, hissing once Rob was out of hearing.

"What did you do?" Yili replied innocently with her eyes wide open.

"Being so fucking friendly! And that last line before we parted - God, Ellie, I'm not friends with Rob!"

"No? Why? He looks really good." She gave Cam a strange look, then narrowed her eyes. "Is there a festival between you two?"

Cam frowned and looked away.How did she know?She always seemed to understand this kind of thing easily—maybe she was a "people guy" like her mother.

Cam is more like Dad—reserved, down-to-earth.Is a man of action.Cam's dad was the guy who could fix bikes, read maps, and drive the car.He can get things done, but he's not good at reading people.Not a "people guy".

Neither was Cam.

"Something really happened, right?" Ellie leaned forward on her arms, her eyes eager. "tell me."

Cam sighed heavily, paused, and said, "We just—well, we had a fight."

The jazz-style "White Christmas" came from the background music of the restaurant, and the melodious male voice set off a sense of affluence and peace, which sounds weird to Cam now.

"Conflict?" Irri repeated. "Wait—is that why you don't want to meet here?"

Cam nodded. "This is the first time I've been here since I had an argument with Rob last time."

"You had a quarrel? A quarrel with raised voices?"

"Shh!" Cam frowned, and added in a low voice, "Yeah, just shouting at each other in this place."

Eli let out a grunt in her throat. "What made you so angry, made you—oh wait, that's impossible!" She put a hand over her mouth, stifling her giggles, and glanced at the bar.Cam followed her to see—Rob was there, with his back to them, working on the coffee machine.

"Are you and Rob having an affair?" Irri asked softly, her brown eyes glowing green with gossip.

"What? No! No, we didn't! Gosh, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have to have sex with every man who's attractive!"

"Aha! So you admit he's attractive?"

"Well, yeah, obviously he's attractive—" Cam liked Rob's looks from the start.He had that West Coast look—white skin, black hair, and bright blue eyes with silvery tints.But more than that, he seemed—resolute.The kind that won't be easily shaken.It was hard to imagine anything that would embarrass him.

Eli chuckled softly. "Okay, ask him out. When he first stood here, he kept peeking at you like his eyes were glued to you. I bet he's gay—right?"

Cam shrugged. "Probably. I heard he first moved here with his boyfriend, but it is said that his boyfriend died a few years ago."

According to Mrs. McIver of the little store in town.

"Oh, that's so sad!" Ellie said, and she smiled a little. "But you can comfort him. Does he know you're gay too?"

Cam felt his cheeks heat up. "Gosh, I didn't know! I'm not wearing a shirt that says 'I'm gay' and telling the world.”

Eli chuckled softly.

Before the quarrel, Cam and Rob had been friendly.Friendly enough that they'd chat over drinks at the Stag on Friday nights, or when Cam came to the cafe to chat.It felt like to Cam, maybe they were becoming friends.And, yes, the two had a little phone call.Cam even had the idea of ​​asking Rob out, but in the end he didn't mention it.

He didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that he didn't seize the opportunity.

"In short," he said to his sister in a deliberately relaxed tone, "it's impossible to have anything between us, don't even think about it, will it work?"

"How can you be sure? You haven't asked him out yet? Hurry up and ask him out!"

"Stop it! Seriously Ellie, I couldn't even if I wanted to—I don't want to, by the way—especially after what happened."

Eli looked at him curiously. "Why? What are you arguing about?"

Cam rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I pissed Rob off because I started selling coffee at the boathouse—"

"What?" Eli frowned. "Why on earth did you start selling coffee?"

"Holy shit, Ellie," Cam hissed. "Will it be quieter?" He glanced nervously at the bar, but thankfully Rob didn't turn and was still busy.

"Sorry," Eli mumbled. "Go on, I'm listening."

"Well, that's when the tourists are everywhere in the summer. I've had quite a few guests come in and want to rent kayaks and bikes for a few hours, but then leave because I'm busy with other people. so I figured if I could set up a few chairs outside and sell some drinks and snacks, they wouldn't mind the wait. It's not like this kind of formal cafe - there's a good espresso Coffee, boiled milk, etc.—I just bought a filter coffee machine and a kettle for making tea, and everyone can use it after filling it."

"So what happened to Rob? I guess he's mad about it?"

"Yes. He didn't say anything though. But I knew when a council officer came to the boathouse and gave me a warning that I was in breach of the planning regime because I was using the boathouse as a coffee shop without permission. Then He asked me about every law and regulation you can think of about food safety and disabled toilets."

"Damn, you must be terrified!"

"Yeah. I told the officer I was going to stop immediately - fuck it because I only spent eighty quid on equipment and goods and I really fucking need that extra source of income. I'm so guilty I feel He pities me. And then he reveals that the owner of some cafe in town reported me, and I just— can’t help it. As soon as he’s gone, I’m here to get mad and kind of—lose Take control."

"Out of control? There was a physical conflict?"

"No—but I yelled loudly." Cam closed his eyes. "I might still call him a fucking good-for-nothing, who just interferes with other people's business if he doesn't have the skills."

"Oh, that's ruthless." Yi Li paused, and then said, "I think he is a bad person when he reported you, but I can understand that he paid a lot of money to follow the rules, and you didn't... "

"I understand, I understand." Cam sighed. "After thinking about it, I realized I shouldn't have done it, but it was too late. I was too embarrassed to come here, and I knew the other residents heard about it. They almost stopped talking to me... ..."

"Oh, Cam!"

He raised his head, not even daring to look at the pity in his sister's eyes.

"It was my fault," he said.

"Why didn't you mention it before?"

Cam shrugged. "unimportant."

"Of course it matters," she replied softly, adding, "I see you were down at Christmas. When we talked about Mom and Dad—how to put it, I guess something happened."

He knew exactly what she was talking about.On Christmas Day she took him aside and asked him when he could find a place of his own so that Mom and Dad could take back the holiday cottage.If he lives in it, the two of them won't be able to use it.Cam just stared at Iri for a long time, long enough to give away the secret of his heart, and then stammered that New Year's would find a place.

Even then he already knew that the other party was suspecting something.

"Can I ask you something, Cam?" Elly asked tentatively, but she realized she was on point, and Cam knew how relentless she could be.

he sighed. "Just ask."

"Is business really okay?"

That was another thing she asked over Christmas break - he insisted everything was fine.Now, sitting in Rob Armstrong's café, he opens his mouth to tell a lie, but can't.Instead, he stared at Iri without saying a word, feeling a stone in his chest and unable to breathe.

"Cam?" His sister continued probing.Before he could speak, she said, "When you said you were selling coffee on a houseboat, you mentioned—you mentioned that you needed money..." Her voice trailed off, her tone uncertain, and Cam closed his eyes. eyes.

For a moment he didn't speak, didn't move.Just sitting there with my eyes closed and praying it's over.Then Iri's fingers touched his hand, coldly demanding an answer.

"I took out a loan to start a business," he says, distraught. "Mum and Dad's mortgage—did they tell you?"

"I thought your severance pay—"

"That's not enough," Cam interrupted. "I thought I'd pay it off - I predicted it, I thought I was conservative enough. But the bookings are more dependent on the season than I thought. The summer was okay - it was pretty good - but I have no business at all for the next few months, but I have to pay back in three weeks..." He swallowed hard, and forced himself to look at Yili.Her beautiful eyebrows were knitted together in concern.

"You said everything was fine at Christmas."

"I don't want my parents to worry."

"You owe them the truth, Cam. If they owe money on this debt, they need to know."

"I see," he closed his eyes again. "I really understand."

"They'll want to help you - they've got savings. So do I."

He shook his head and immediately denied it firmly. "Impossible. I can't take anything more from them. I've got it on my own—"

Eli snorted impatiently. "You never accept favors from others. No wonder Mom is so worried about you."

"What?" Cam felt a strange sting.He fervently thought of himself as the "safest" of the three McMorrows.He had better grades than both Ellie and Rose, and was the most independent.When he was in college, he worked part-time jobs in a gym for more than [-] hours a week to support himself. After graduation, he got a graduate through train position in an accounting company all over the world.

Even when he was laid off, he quickly recovered and saw the predicament as an opportunity.At that time, he realized that he did not want to be an accountant. What he really loved was the outdoors, confronting nature, and challenging the limits of his body.With severance support, he has the opportunity to build his own business, one that allows him to do what he loves every day.

"Mom said when you were young, you never let her comfort you." Yi Li forced a smile. "Remember 'The Moringa Thing'?"

Cam remembered her mother's favorite thing about her childhood, and laughed along with it.Cam was bold when he was less than three years old. He skateboarded and swooped down a steep hill, then staggered and fell.Mom ran to him and picked him up, and he just smiled and looked at her, his hands, knees, and jaw were all worn out and bleeding, and he said, "What a moringa thing, Mommy!"

He says that every time.At exams, at long hours, at coming out, at breakups, at layoffs.And now.

I'm fine.

He always thought he was a strong person, and he always felt that he didn't need anyone's help.Figuring it out himself was a deeply ingrained habit of his, and he was always in control.Well, just most of the time.The only place he could slack off—and sometimes long to slack off—was in the bedroom, but even there he found it hard to be honest about his preferences.

"Cam, listen," Irri started, her expression serious again. "Just for once, let someone else help you. We're a family—"

"I'm 31," he muttered. "I can solve my own problems by myself."

"I know you can, but the thing is you don't have to!" she exclaimed exasperatedly. "You obviously don't need to do this, why are you still struggling to rely on yourself?"

Cam opened his mouth to answer, but couldn't utter a word.Instead, he just stared at her, unable to answer such simple logic.

Eli sighed. "Sometimes you're just a big fool."

"No, I'm not," he replied mechanically, but he couldn't even convince himself.

"You are. Like when you left Scott. He was lovely and adored you. I'll never understand why you didn't try to mend the relationship between the two of you—but then again, you Don't even tell me what happened, do you?"

Cam snorted impatiently.Every time Ellie goes on and on about her little angel Scott's nonsense, Cam gets pissed off.Their breakup was excruciatingly painful, but Cam didn't want to share the source of the pain with anyone.He didn't want to feel like a fool, didn't want to be pitied.But forget it.If she wanted to know why so much—

"He's sleeping with someone else."

The words were hard, bitter and ugly.Worse, they carried a raw emotion that made him feel a shame that was intensified when he saw the desperation and—yes—sympathy in his sister's face.

"Oh, hell," said Eli at last. "I went to see him. He made me think he didn't know why you left."

Cam shrugged. "He was always good at lying."

Eli shook her head. "Anyway, I'm glad you finally told me," she said quietly. "As for the money, promise me, okay? Make sure you'll sit down with Mom and Dad and have a good talk about it."

"I have no idea--"

"Cam, you've got to tell them. You know you've got to. You can say at New Year's - you'll be back in Glasgow, right?"

"I'm actually not ready to give it all up so quickly."

"Ah! You haven't seen your Christmas present yet!" replied Ily briskly.She turned around and grabbed the bag, flipping through it quickly until she pulled out an envelope and handed it to him excitedly. "Merry Chrismas!"

Cam hooked the seal with his finger, opened it, and pulled out a card: it was a ticket.Tickets to "Glasgow's Wildest New Year's Eve Party" at Gomorrah, which he always used to go to.Tickets for this annual feast are often sold out months in advance.

Cam couldn't help chuckling: "You really bought me a Christmas present."

"Of course! I just forgot to take it to my parents' house." Yi Li smiled. "Actually I bought three. Me and Katie will be there too, but don't worry, you won't be bugged by us all night. Mark and his gang are going, so there will be quite a few of your acquaintances."

Cam felt an eerie punch in the chest - he hadn't seen his old friend in months, and the thought of being surrounded again by a crowd of well-meaning faces, drunk and laughing and dancing and having fun together -

God, he needs it so much.

He swallowed hard. "This—it's really great. There's no better gift, Ella."

She smiled, her eyes warm and full of tenderness. "We'll have a good time, baby. Then we can go to Mom and Dad's for dinner. Mom will make meat pies and muffins."

"As usual," Cam chuckled.

"Yeah - after all it's the only time of the year that Mom cooks a normal meal, so you'll have to enjoy it."

The two smiled tacitly.When the McMorrows were young children, they always begged their mum to make 'normal' meals - fish and chips, sausages - just like what their friends ate, not hers Italian home cooking.She never let them forget about it.

"After dinner," Irri continued softly, "you just tell Mom and Dad—will you?"

Cam sighed heavily. "Okay," he said. "I'll tell them."