you are the minutiae of the world

People who have too little can't resist the temptation, and can't allocate too much energy. When my heart and eyes are full of Du Chen, my academic performance will naturally drop. I am not a smart child, but I used to be a People who work hard, now hard work is discounted. After the midterm exam, my grades have been hanging on the tail of the whole grade. The teacher referred me to the office more than once to talk alone.

I went in with a blushing face and came out with a blushing face. This incident is too embarrassing. I am a person who received government relief to study, but I use such grades to repay them. The teacher is not euphemistic, I don’t Dare to look up, dare not meet Teacher Shang's eyes that hate iron and steel, they are ashamed of me, not worthy of this society, they know that I always stick to Du Chen's side, they persuade with earnestness: "Wang Jin, you want to I understand, you are different from Du Chen. His family conditions are good. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t study hard. His life doesn’t depend on studying. But you, you can only change your life by going to university. What can you gain by playing with him? ? Temporary material needs? Wang Jin, although you are a child from the countryside, you must have your own backbone, do you understand?"

After I heard this, my head was buzzing, I wanted to refute, I wanted to tell the teacher that I didn't covet Du Chen's money, I also had my own backbone, but I couldn't say it out of my mouth, my secret thoughts I couldn't say it out loud, and I suddenly understood at that time that since the teachers looked at me like this, I'm afraid that in the eyes of other students, I would also be such a shameless, clinging dogleg image of a rich classmate.But I didn’t argue, and I didn’t want to change. Although I was extremely inferior and humble to the bone, I understood at a very young age that life is for myself to watch, otherwise I wouldn’t be shameless. The government relief fund came to this school, besides, at that time, in the whole world, there was only one person who could make me happy and sad.

I don't know how to pursue others, but I have seen how boys and girls in the class express their love to the person they like, write love letters, send breakfast, send snacks, treat guests to dinner, send flowers, etc.I don’t have much money, so I chose a method that has both heart and money in it. From the second semester of high school to the second semester of high school, I wrote a total of 120 love letters to him, and I hid them in one of my favorite books In between, the book of more than 300 pages became very thick and thick. Yes, although I wrote so many love letters, I didn't send out one. Du Chen is the person on my heart, and I can't give him Better things, but I also wanted to give him an unforgettable confession - but I got together before I could confess, because Du Chen broke up, but that was not the first time he broke up, he changed in two months I met three girlfriends. At the end of the second year of high school, he took me out of school. We changed our school uniforms and went to a bar on the other side of the city. In the noisy bar, Du Chen drank a lot. He was leaning on the sofa in the deck, puffing away while drinking, his eyes were a little dazed and a little drunk under the spotlight.It was the first time I saw him like that. I sat opposite him, my face was full of distress, and I asked him: "Du Chen, are you sad?"

He obviously didn't hear what I said, put the cigarette between his fingers, and handed me a bottle of wine: "Drink."

I wanted to shake my head, because I had never had a drink, but I couldn't bear to refuse him. Holding the bottle, I was cruel, and poured the wine into my mouth with my head raised, a lot of wine slipped out from the corner of my mouth, along the My chin slipped into my shirt, I drank quickly and hurriedly, within a few minutes, a bottle of wine was poured down my stomach, I put the bottle on the table with a bang, my face flushed, my eyes It was full of bloodshot eyes, her throat was hot, and she couldn't stop coughing.

Du Chen was sitting opposite, he had already finished smoking a cigarette, he was drinking slowly while looking at me, under the dim light, I couldn't see his expression clearly, I was a little flustered, stood up on the table and wanted to go to his side I walked, but bumped into the corner of the table, and the pain caused me to fall back on the sofa, covering my knees and crying. I must have been drunk at the time, and my crying startled him, so he went around and sat down. Beside me, looking down at me crying out of breath, he suddenly laughed, he smiled happily, the corners of his eyes were bent, his white teeth dazzled my eyes in the dark bar, I cried Weeping and staring dumbfounded, I suddenly withdrew the hand covering my knee, grabbed his shoulders, and pulled him closer to me, then I leaned forward recklessly, with four The alcohol-smelling lips pressed against each other, I closed my eyes, and the internal organs tainted by alcohol began to heat up due to the temperature on the lips, I felt so satisfied, the heat in my chest was hard to vent, I pressed against his lips fiercely.

Then I was pushed away by him fiercely, and I fell down on the sofa with a bang. I saw the panic in his eyes in my drunken eyes, and I laughed. At that moment, I thought he was so cute, as if he was frightened I put my hands behind my back, and leaned my upper body towards him, narrowing my red eyes slightly, and licking my tongue deep inside. Licking my lips, I smiled and said, "Du Chen, I like you, let's be together."

He seemed to be frightened by my appearance, but not long after I finished speaking, he slowly regained his composure. He hooked the corners of his lips and did not speak, but slowly approached my direction with his head.

The music in the bar stopped and the lights dimmed. The host came onto the stage and introduced the singer who was going to sing next. Before that, there was a brief silence in the bar.

"I want to kiss you," I tried to raise my chin, and said to him boldly and reverently, "Now."

We kissed on the sofa in the corner while the music played.

We're together - I thought.

If I kiss him and he doesn't say no, it's a yes.The age of first love, the age when you blush when you hold hands, and if kissing is not considered a sure relationship, then what is it?It was only later that I realized that without commitment, it is not considered love, at least not the love of two people.

But I was already addicted to it and couldn't extricate myself.

Being Du Chen's boyfriend made me happy like a fool, and I bowed my head and smiled in class more than once.

My love letters are affectionate, sweet and warm. When I hid in the quilt and wrote them, I always imagined how he would feel when he saw them, and whether he would smile as warmly and sweetly as I do now.

After we were together, I cared more about him. I cooked and washed clothes for him, did homework for him, and took notes for him...I did everything I could for him. I did it with a happy mood. Every time he turned his head and smiled at me, the weather was fine that day, even if it was raining, it was also fine weather.

He sometimes pats my head and takes me to dinner as before. I don't drink anymore, but I will send him back to the dormitory when he is drunk.

I know his friends don't know my identity, he never said it, they think I'm just his follower, I'm his nanny, just like others, but these are not important to me, the important thing is him It is enough to be with me, he is very good, after being with me, I have never had an affair with a girl again, I thought I broke him, I even felt guilty, so I have been planning to give him a A belated confession surprise.

In a flash, we arrived at the third year of high school. The time of the third year of high school passed quickly. We didn’t have so much time to spend alone. My grades are really bad, so bad that I can't go to the same university as him. He said that he will go to the university in city A, and his father will pay him to study, and he may also go abroad.I panicked when I heard the word "going abroad", I didn't care if there were people around, I grabbed his wrist and said in a flustered tone, "Are you really going abroad? Can you..."

He lowered his head and smiled at me, with a playful look in his eyes: "Look at your performance, if the distance between us is close enough," he rubbed my hair: "Maybe I can't bear to leave you."

I firmly remembered his words.I thought about it for a long time. After the mock exam, I held the more than 100 letters and skipped class again.

I want to be close enough to him, and I want to prepare an unforgettable gift for him. I passed by a flower shop and walked in. I said that I like someone and wanted to send him a bouquet of beautiful flowers.

The clerk asked me: "Is there a girl you like?"

I shook my head and said firmly: "It's a boy, I want to confess my love to him."

The clerk was stunned, and then smiled understandingly. He said, "Then give sunflowers. Its flower language is to bravely pursue the happiness and silent love you want. I think it is very suitable for you."

I looked at the clerk gratefully, and my heart suddenly settled down. I stood in the store and watched him wrap the flowers seriously.

"It's so beautiful." I held them in my hands and admired them sincerely.

"Thank you," I paid the money and was about to go out when the clerk suddenly stopped me: "Little friend," he said, "Is there anything unhappy? I see that you are full of worries."

The clerk is a handsome little brother, he pointed to my eyebrow.

Maybe it was because I was really at a loss at the time, I let go of my guard against strangers, held flowers, and expressed my distress.

After listening silently, he came over and patted his shoulder, blinked his eyes, and said teasingly: "Little idiot, the distance is close enough, of course there is me in you, and you in me."

I am at a loss.

He laughed for a while, and said with emotion: "It's nice to be young."

I left the flower shop, but I kept his words in my heart. On the way back to school, I slowly figured it out, and then my face was as red as a big apple, and the top of my head seemed to be steaming.

But I was expecting such a distance.

I looked down at the bouquet in my arms and made up my mind.

At that moment, the moth decided to jump on the fire.

But the moth didn't understand that sacrificing himself was useless.