Black Hurricane

After a long shower, I threw myself on the bed.I've never felt so tired.Feeling a little chilly, I got into the quilt, and the feeling of the sheets sticking to the bare skin of my neck made me sigh comfortably.Finally being able to lie down felt almost as good as an orgasm.Heavy rain washed the windows and beat the roof.It was a soothing sound, and I lay still in bed and listened to the rain until my mind started thinking again.

After that little conversation, we hardly did anything serious.I followed Dean to where the others were, and Eric pulled me onto the couch.He put his arms around me and stroked my back, obviously sensing something was going on.Since the rehearsal couldn't go on, everyone watched the video of "Black Hurricane" stage performance together.Before Dean came out, he always chose girls on stage and interacted with them flirtatiously.After being forced to come out, instead of doing it again, he dances around Yoon.His gait on the stage, the style of his eyebrows, the teasing of his fingertips, the swing of his body, his every move is all fascinating.

Dean wasn't actually watching the tape.He sat between Yin and Maxim, with his chin resting on his knees, frowning at the floor.I noticed that he cast eyes on me intermittently, but the eyes never stayed.

The persistent knock on the door dragged me out of the state where I was about to fall asleep.I sat up in a daze and looked at the time: I was only confused for 5 minutes.

Another knock on the door made me crawl out of bed and find a pair of drawstring pants with holes in them.

"Here we come," I yelled.Or trying to shout, my voice was weak.

I guess Eric or Kal-El came to see me.Unexpectedly, the person standing outside the attic turned out to be Dean, who was soaked from head to toe in the downpour.

"May I come in?"

"Uh..." I rubbed my face, feeling that I was too tired to deal with him, but I let him in anyway.He took off his black overcoat and shook off his boots.Then he looked around the entire attic, looking at the small kitchen in the corner, the living area, the canvas and painting area, and finally the bed and wardrobe.Even if I am visited by a local tyrant like him, I will not be ashamed of the poverty I live in and the poverty I have.This is my own earned life.These are all mine.My heart is open and natural.

Lightning shattered the night sky, and a shiver ran through my body.I put on a red T-shirt, and Dean just stood still, looking at me.He had been in for several minutes without saying a word.The rain beat harder on the windows and the roof, and it sounded like a hailstorm.Moonlight streamed in through one of my two living room windows through thick clouds, casting a soft halo on Dean.Drops of water dripped from his wet hair, landed on his cheeks, and slid down his face.

I went into the kitchen, heated up the kettle, and pulled out a pair of mugs, a pair of spoons, and the only tea I had.When the water boiled, I turned off the heat and poured the water into the mug.

Just as I was busy, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, and my thick chest pressed against my back.The move seemed to take all the air out of me, and I just froze.We stayed like that for a while, he buried his face in my hair, hugged me tighter, and I could only focus on breathing.I should have shaken him off, but I'm so fucking tired.

Dean hugged me like this, turned me around and hugged me tightly in his arms, slowly circling with one hand behind my back.It felt so good, my body melting into his touch, my arms around his waist.Then he kissed my hair, my forehead and my cheek.My head is a mess, ready to be kissed on the lips.I even tilted my head to make it easier for him, but he just stared into my eyes in the dim light, fingers on my chin, stroking my parted lips.Then he pressed his lips to my temple again and spoke in his deep voice.

"When we made love, Jesper, it was like heaven to me. I'm so sorry it was hell to you. I didn't know exactly what to do, and I realized in hindsight that it could hurt I lost you. After we did it the first time, I felt shy for the first time in my life, so I slipped away. But I walked on clouds all the way back, and couldn't wait to see you again, though that It's going to be embarrassing," Dean said with a smile in his voice.

I was still in his arms, too tired to think, unable to refute.

"But the joy only lasts until I get home," he continued, the smile fading away. "A neighbor saw what we did and sued my dad. My dad dug through my room and found a doodle of me kissing you in my textbook. Probably because of your long hair, he Thinks you're a girl, until he sees a heart drawn under your name. There are many unisex names in the world, and 'Jesper' isn't one of them."

My breath stopped.I knew he could graffiti, he was always doodling and drawing behind the abandoned factory, but I never knew he drew a picture of me.or a heart.

His hands clenched into fists behind my back, pressing against my T-shirt.

"When I got home, my dad was like a rabid Rottweiler. He called me all kinds of things and tried to punch me straight." Dean swallowed, his voice softening a little. Some, he continued to rub my back. "I never thought I was gay. I was just a kid in love with the most beautiful boy I've ever met."

I closed my eyes for a moment, choking with difficulty, remembering the bruises on his face.

"My dad said that if he ever heard anyone talk about me being with a guy again, I'd have to get out of the house. I tried to suppress my feelings for you. I tried, but I just couldn't leave you alone. In Seeing you in the hallway and not being able to be with you is very, very painful."

"Are you telling the truth?" My voice trembled like my body.He has always been good at acting, and he has never acted so realistically.He was telling the truth, I could feel it, and hearing it all made my heart pound.

"Yes." His mobile game came to my slightly damp hair. "I wish I could go back to that time and make all the difference. I wish I could make our first time great for you and I'd explain my dad to you straight away so I'd be different Way to be with you instead of secretly looking for opportunities to be close to you. I used to be too selfish. It never occurred to me that I might hurt you, or that it was not what you wanted at all."

Dean leaned against me, pressing his forehead against the side of my head. "I know you don't believe me, and I can understand why. All I want is a chance, if not to be your boyfriend again, then at least let me make it clear. I've missed you for a long, long time." He Swallow with difficulty.I gripped the back of his shirt tightly and pulled him closer.His warmth and his own breath enveloped me, making me dizzy.I can't seem to find anything to say, just hold him so tight. After a minute or two, Dean continued.

"My dad ended up sending me away, which is why I disappeared. I woke up one morning and he had packed my things for me and told me to go. I had to find you, I had to at least Been with you for a while, so I'll sneak out to meet you."

"You should have told me," I whispered.

"I know, I just couldn't say that goodbye. Besides, I was going to come back. I ran away from my aunt in California within a few weeks of being there. She was horrible and said she was going to send me to Utah State reform center. I didn't finish high school either, no one wanted to hire me because I wasn't old enough. I lived in juvenile detention centers, stole wallets, and even gave blowjobs for money, but never made enough money to buy A bus ticket will come back to find you."

"Did you sell yourself at that time?"

"Just blowjobs. I don't want to sell more, and besides, I'm a skilled pickpocket."

I can't help but smile to myself.Of course he is.

"Thief. You stole my heart and The Whore of Hades"

"Well, yes." He let go of his embrace, and the coolness hit my whole body again.

I put the mug on the breakfast table and remove the tea bags.Dean left his mug untouched.

"Coleman found me on the street when I was nineteen. I tried everything I could to find you, but there was no sign of you. Now I know it's because you're on the street too."

I played with the tea bag without looking at him.It never occurred to me that he, too, had a hard time.

"I've been looking for months, Jess. Months. I've lost hope. Finally, I decided to use our songs on the second album, and I thought if I didn't sign you on it, You will bring a group of lawyers to come to me to sue."

"You stole the lyrics and I'm going to sue you? What kind of logic is that?" I laughed.

"Isn't it?" He shifted in the chair, resting his arms on the table. "I've been looking for you since The Whore of Hades came out. I've been looking for you from time to time. You don't have an address, and my sources say you never paid taxes. You don't have a lease on your home, Haven't received any disability benefits either. Your parents are vague about everything, saying you live with relatives but won't say where. I'm concerned that something happened to you so I asked someone to go through the Went to all the local tabloids and even hired someone to go through hospital and police records. Nothing. I think if you saw the song and found out you weren't credited, you'd come to me."

I leaned forward, propped my chin on my elbow, and he leaned back in his chair.I couldn't find a single loophole in his words.He was right, there was no trace that would lead him to me.If he hadn't actually checked, how would he know I never paid my taxes and I didn't have a lease?It's possible that he did these things a few weeks ago, but if it's just to get me into bed, it's too much effort.

"Okay," I said with a sigh, looking up at his moonlit figure. "Maybe you had a crush on me or loved me, maybe you did look for me, but I'm no longer the original me, and you don't know anything about me now."

Dean smiled and leaned forward, his chin resting on his palm.So the distance between our nose tips is less than a foot. "So far, I like you as I see you now."

I also smiled back. "Am I a neurotic bitch with a strong desire to act and a lack of trust?"

"No," he said calmly. "You are a strong person, you know what you want, but you are a little stubborn."

I leaned over and slapped him lightly.

Dean laughed, but the laughter stopped quickly, and he bit his lower lip.

"Look, I hurt you deeply in high school. I'm not denying it. It wasn't intentional, I didn't realize I hurt you, and I was hurt." He looked up, like Meet my gaze. "I have a lot to make up for. I just ask you not to think so badly of me, don't shut me out, and at least let me talk to you."

I took a peach out of the little basket in the center of the table and wiped off the little fuzz.It never occurred to me that he, too, suffered pain.He never showed, always acted so strong.

"Are those peaches I gave you?" He raised his eyebrows, looked into the basket, then to the pile of Hershey's Kisses in my living room, and the empty Fennel on the kitchen counter. up to the bottle. "You said you threw it all away."

I put the peach back, the hair falling over the face.

"At the end of the day, it's all going to be trash, going from one form to another."

Dean chuckled. "well said."

After a brief silence, I added: "I threw the flowers away. They were beautiful, but too heavy."

"I'm sorry," he said after a moment's silence. "I didn't expect these gifts to stir up painful memories. I didn't know it before."

"I understand." I lowered my head and looked up at him.There was something wonderful about sitting quietly with him, just talking.Maybe it would be nice to have a situation like this again.

"Ok."

"Okay?" He didn't understand.

"Okay, I'll at least talk to you."

A smile slowly bloomed on his face, the kind from the heart.Then he bit his lower lip again, as if to stop looking too eager.

"Thank you."