Just A Bit Ruthless

Luke didn't sleep much that night, tossing and turning in bed; he awoke the next day tired and devastated, but with a determined rage running through his veins.He was going to get Roman Demidov out of his mind.

Dr. Miranda Benson is a middle-aged woman with intellectual brown eyes set off by thin-rimmed glasses.Her office is also very tastefully furnished, yet it is cozy and homey.Seeing her smile, Luke felt an instant rapport with her, and sat down at the invitation.

She listened to him for a full half an hour without interruption, just listening to him stumble and tell his own story.He told her the whole incident in its entirety.There's little point in seeing a therapist if you can't tell the truth.

Miranda was mildly sympathetic as Luke explained his situation, but to his disappointment and bewilderment, she didn't agree with him about his claims of Stockholm Syndrome.

"I agree that at the absolute disadvantage of not being able to communicate with anyone other than your captor, it's really not good for your mental health; yet you don't show the stockholm syndrome Typical behaviour," she said. "You don't exonerate your kidnapper. You don't think he's 'actually' a good guy. You also retain the drive to escape. Of course, the characteristics of each case are different, but people with Stockholm syndrome are usually not Willing to be rescued." There was no sense of judgment in her eyes, and then she added softly: "As for your disadvantaged position in this relationship, my understanding is: it stems from your personal Sexual preferences, right?"

Luke couldn't think of anything but words and blushing.He hadn't talked about his sexual fantasies and fetishes with anyone except Roman before; it was always awkward to discuss them with a woman who was old enough to be his mother.

"Are you using safe words?" Miranda said.

Luke bit his lip and nodded.

"Why do you think he didn't do whatever he wanted, but set up a safe word for you?"

Luke shrugged. "He told me that he was not interested in rapists, and I really believed him, but in fact, most of this was his intention-making me trust him."

The other party smiled. "That's what I mean, Luke: You were critical thinking when it came to your kidnapper, you questioned his motives, you didn't believe him unreservedly. That's fine, healthy."

Luke felt guilty for a moment. "But I do trust him, at least in bed. He makes me feel safe, safe enough to..." He felt hot.

Miranda looked completely undisturbed. "Play a role-playing rape game with him?"

Luke had never been so embarrassed in his life. "Well……"

Miranda showed him a very friendly expression, and a little playfulness. "Don't be embarrassed, there's nothing you're saying that I haven't heard before. Most of the time, people tend to see fantasy as something they shouldn't feel, it's taboo, and they tend to think that the content of the fantasy is abnormal Yes. Rape fantasies, or forced seduction fantasies, are actually the most common sexual fantasies that both men and women have. As long as you agree and use safe words, there’s nothing wrong with playing this kind of role-playing game,” she said. Pausing for a moment, he looked at him calmly. "The fact that you can trust your captor to carry out those activities on you is more than the average person can trust a prisoner. Can you explain why you trust him?"

Luke shrugged, assembling the sentences in his head. "I—I don't know. He did scare me a lot at first, but he was also... different from the men he had. I've always had a good eye for people. I could tell he was The kind of person who is calm enough not to resort to violence casually." He raised a hand to brush his curly hair.He didn't straighten his hair this morning, I don't know why.Luke cleared his throat and continued, "Before he came to me, the guards were always beating me up when they were drunk, almost using me as a punching bag. He stopped it and moved me to the A comfortable room, food for me, and...um."

Miranda frowned slightly. "Since then, have you regarded him as your savior?"

Luke chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that's what he's going for. I mean, he never told me how he's going to use me, but I'm pretty sure he's trying to get me to depend on him and trust him. I guess, if his purpose makes me have a sense of trust in him, then I can imagine that in the future, he has no intention of hurting me. It's a bit twisted, and I have doubts about him. , On the contrary, when I am with him, I don't have to worry about any physical harm. And..." He lowered his eyes, looked at his fingers and cleared his throat again. "I was so fascinated by him that it interfered with my ability to think. Honestly, it all felt like a gut reaction."

"I see," she said, without an iota of judgment in her tone. "Have you ever conceived the idea of ​​a romantic relationship with him?"

Luke froze.

"Of course not," he replied after a moment, his eyes still fixed on his hands.

"Luke," the other said. "I need you to be honest with me. Did you just say your truth?"

"I'm telling the truth," he said in a slightly aggressive tone.

The other party didn't say anything more.

He took a deep breath.

"Sorry," he straightened his face. "It's just...he and I...we...I always have this realization in my heart that we can't get together. There is nothing I like about him. My father is just like him: busy all day, indifferent to people , hard-hearted, and scheming. He never found time to care about me and my mother. We are like strangers to each other. I don't want to treat my children like that in the future. I want love. I want someone who knows how to love , a husband who knows how to care for others and always puts me first. I want someone who is willing to care and take care of me." He suddenly felt embarrassed when he said this call.Now, Miranda probably thinks he likes to play the "Dad Game" right?And enough of his kinky quirks were exposed.

"You mentioned that you were dating someone," she said.

"Well," Luke said, relieved by the change of subject. "His name is Dominique, and he's a nice guy. I mean, we haven't made it official yet or anything, but we've dated a few times. Our goals and interests align, and he wants the same future as I want .”

"I see." She gave a thoughtful expression. "Do you feel safe with him?"

Luke nodded. "Of course, he is always encouraging and caring to me."

"Would you say that you trust him enough for you to play a role-playing rape game with him?"

Luke's face paled instantly. "What—" He hastily coughed to interrupt himself. "I've only known him for a month, so it's a bit early to say this. We didn't do anything but kiss."

Miranda nodded with an unpredictable expression. "Okay. I think we'll call it a day, Luke."

"What?" he asked, blinking. "But—but you haven't done anything yet..." You need to fix my feelings for that person.

The other raised his eyebrows and looked at him.

"I have Stockholm syndrome," Luke said hoarsely. "Please heal me."

There was a look of sympathy on the other party's face. "As I have said, your situation cannot be identified as Stockholm Syndrome. You have maintained your sanity throughout. You have not whitewashed his motives. You wanted to escape and you escaped successfully. You are not obsessed You want to get on with your own life because of your captor. You are convinced that he has no good influence on you, and you can clearly see his flaws." She smiled slightly. "You don't need my help, Luke. You're strong."

I'm not strong, he thought to himself as he left the office.I'm really not strong.

Maybe he should have told Miranda that he'd been thinking about it after hearing Roman talk about Dominique, instead of trusting the man he was dating right away.He already didn't want to heed Roman's warning from the bottom of his heart, but he couldn't.Roman has many flaws, but he never lies to his face.Why would Roman make up lies about Dominique?What is his purpose?

With this in mind, Luke found himself at the door of Dominique's house later that day and rang the bell, even though the owner was in Japan at the time.

He looked around.He hadn't been to Dominique's house before. It was a picturesque, beautiful and unique house, and the community environment it was in was also very good.It was easy for Luke to imagine himself living here, and it was easy to imagine two lovely children playing in this garden.

The door suddenly opened.

Luke blinked.

A man—a boy, actually—was standing inside the door, and he was kinda cute.He was tall and thin, with long arms and legs, a mop of crimson hair, fair skin, and big cat-like green eyes, the longest lashes Luke had ever seen.He's okay at best, but then again, Luke himself knows all too well that people shouldn't judge by appearances.

The flash in the red-haired boy's eyes showed that he seemed to recognize the person. "Dominy isn't home," the boy said, slamming the door in Luke's face.

Luke blinked and thought for a moment before ringing the doorbell again.

"I must have mistaken his return date," he said when the door opened again, giving the boy a broad smile. "I'm Luke. I didn't know Dominique had any relatives living with him."

The boy said mockingly: "I'm not his relative, I know who you are."

Luke tilted his head to one side. "But I don't know about you, man, and it's not fair to me."

"I'm Sam," said the red-haired boy, his green eyes sparkling. "I live here."

Isn't that obvious.

"Would you like to explain it to me?" Luke said with a faint smile, but he was sure that the overwhelming hostility emanating from the boy was not his imagination.Either the kid was just naturally curmudgeonly, or he was just taking it out on Luke.Luke leans towards the latter reason.

"No." The door slams down on Luke's face again.

Ok.

Luke turned and walked to his car.

That night, he and Dominique had a Skype video call, and Luke decided to tell him about it.

"I got the time wrong and ran over to your house this afternoon," Luke said. "I met Sam."

Dominique still had the same calm posture, with a smile on his face, but he did show a little surprised look. "You met Sam? He didn't mention it to me when I spoke to him earlier."

"Yeah," Luke said. "You never mentioned that you don't live alone."

Dominique exhaled and observed his face. "I didn't mention it because it's not easy to explain. Some people think in the wrong direction."

Luke grinned reluctantly. "I think maybe I shouldn't count as 'some people'."

"I hope you're not," Dominique said, his lids drooping slightly, his dark eyes fixed on Luke's lips. "By the way, I like your hairstyle. I didn't even know they were curly like that."

The lust in Dominique's eyes made Luke a little uncomfortable.He told himself that when his interactions with Dominique grew beyond a few courteous kisses, the uncomfortable feeling would go away.However, when he kissed Roman yesterday, he didn't feel much guilt.This made him quite sad.He didn't feel that there was anything wrong with what he did.

"When I first met Sam," Dominique began, looking back into Luke's eyes, "he was a homeless kid who didn't eat his last meal. I took him back to the home, and I have given him a home from now on." He shrugged. "Basically that's what happened."

"Oh," Luke said. "You really are...a very kind-hearted person."

Dominique shook his head. "Don't say that. If you'd seen him then, you'd have done the same thing."

"You said that others will think things in a wrong way, what do you say?"

Dominique's handsome face twisted, revealing his difficulties. "Because some people's brains are a stinky gutter. Yeah, I know it all seems weird. He lives with me, and I'm openly gay, and I'm so much older than him. We Not a relative, I still pay for his schooling - I pay for his food and clothing - so that it won't be strange if people say something. Sammy is a straight man and a Son, I'm not a damned pedophile, but there are some people who always think that I'm his sugar daddy." Dominique chuckled, as if he had said something extremely absurd.

Luke didn't laugh with him.

"Are you sure you're not?" he whispered. "If I understand you correctly, a 'sugar daddy/sugar baby' relationship doesn't have to include a sexual element."

Dominique's smile disappeared. "I'm sure," he said, with a hint of force in his tone. "Sam isn't with me for the money. I'm his family."

"Sorry," Luke said, trying not to look surprised.For the first time since we met, Dominique put away his usual tenderness and consideration towards him. "I'm only asking because he didn't seem too pleased to see me. He looked... a little threatened."

Dominique sighed, and wiped his face with his hand. "Sammy was insecure. He thought he'd be abandoned when I started my own family," he said, looking Luke in the eye. "He was wrong. No matter what other people think, I will not let him leave me."

I understand what you hinted.

Lu Ke forced a smile and told the other party that he was tired, thus ending the call.He closed Skype and sank into a pile of pillows, frowning deeply.It wasn't something he'd imagined—Dominique had just warned him in the most unequivocal tone that even if they were together, Sam would definitely live under the same roof as them. is an indisputable condition.According to Roman's suggestion, things are not as simple as Dominic can explain.

Did you make a mistake!

Luke growled in frustration, rolled over on the bed, and buried his face in the pillow.Why didn't he believe what Dominique said, but Roman?He shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so hastily.Such an attitude could only be appreciated if Dominique went out of his way to protect the homeless teens in his shelter.This must be regarded as his shining point.This shows that he will be a caring, amazing father in the future.Dominic is perfect.How silly of him to doubt that.When Dominique came back from Japan—that is, tomorrow—Luke would tell him that he would love to have a formal relationship with him.There's no point in procrastinating any longer.

After making up his mind, he closed his eyes, hoping to stop dreaming tonight.

But the dream came again.

In the dream, he was sitting cross-legged in Dominique's fancy little garden.A child's laughter reached his ears.Luke grinned as he watched the fat black-haired doll run toward him with arms outstretched.Luke smiled and caught him, lifting the cute little boy over his head.The child screamed and laughed, bright blue eyes full of joy.