lack of love

Zhong Qi suddenly left.

Yan Hao stared at Zhong Qiran's name on the contract in a daze, but there was no expression on his face.

From the moment he woke up, he felt that he had lost a lot of things.

When he was in the hospital, his attending doctor observed him for a few days, originally wanting to avoid him from discussing his condition with his parents, but Yan Hao insisted on staying.

The doctor said that his memory loss problem does not seem serious, and he may slowly remember it in a few days, but because the blood clot has been pressing on the brain nerve for a long time, although it has been removed by surgery, it still causes some irreversible damage to the brain. Injuries may leave sequelae.

Yan Hao himself didn't respond, his parents immediately asked anxiously: "What sequelae will there be?"

The doctor shook his head, and only said: "Further observation is needed." After he finished speaking, he looked at Yan Hao and asked, "Do you feel uncomfortable in the past few days?"

"No." After Yan Hao finished speaking, he added: "I don't feel it."

The strict father and strict mother didn't understand, but the doctor suddenly changed his face, "What do you mean?"

Yan Hao repeated again: "I don't feel anything."

Immediately after hearing this, the doctor arranged for a test and called in a psychologist.According to the results of the examination, Yan Hao's emotional feelings are lower than ordinary people's, which is a very dangerous level.He is the first case of "emotional apathy" caused by severe head trauma in the country.

After Yan Hao's parents heard the news, they were stunned for a long time, but they were still speechless.Because they realize that this is what doctors call irreversible damage.

Yan's mother immediately burst into tears, "Xiaohao, do you still recognize your mother?"

Yan Hao looked at her and nodded, but showed no expression.

Seeing his reaction, his parents and attending doctor finally understood that something was wrong.After Yan Hao woke up, he always looked like he didn't care about anything. Although he was not an enthusiastic person before, he was not indifferent to this level.

Yan's mother asked again: "Then... what about Zhong Qiran?"

This time Yan Hao remained silent for a while, with a look of confusion in his eyes, "Who is he?"

In his incomplete memory, there is Zhong Qiran's face, and there are fragments of Zhong Qiran surrounding him, but he can't remember the relationship between himself and him.

Yan's father and Yan's mother looked at each other, and Yan's mother tentatively said: "He is your lover."

Yan Hao reacted a little more when he heard this sentence, and he frowned, as if he didn't agree with it.

Yan's mother couldn't tell what kind of mood she was in, but she was vaguely happy, "You can't remember?"

"Ah."

"Then... let's not tell him about this, shall we?" Yan's mother looked at her son, and said, "This... isn't mother afraid that he will be sad? You can recover from your illness first. Maybe ..."

Maybe something, but she couldn't say any more.

If it was the former Yan Hao, he would definitely not agree with her words.No matter what happens, he will not leave him.But now Yan Hao, some unpleasant pasts between Zhong Qiran and his parents flashed in his mind, and he didn't feel anything.So he said, "It doesn't matter."

In this way, Zhong Qiran was completely kept in the dark.

Yan Hao lacks emotion, but he is not stupid.He made the suggestion when he realized his mother didn't want them to be together.Although his memory is incomplete, he still remembers some things.He remembered that he did a lot of things for Zhong Qiran, wanted to please him, liked to see him laugh, wanted to give him all the good things in the world, and made love to him all night.Although he knew that they had a very loving past, he couldn't empathize with them at this moment, as if he was looking at other people's affairs.

So in the days when he just woke up, he was very uncomfortable with Zhong Qiran's kiss.

Not getting used to it... He stretched out his hand and pushed the other person away.

During their four years of love, Yan Hao never refused Zhong Qiran's request to get closer to him.

So when he saw Zhong Qi was stunned, his fingertips seemed to tremble slightly.But he didn't care, he didn't even know what expression he should have when he hurt the person he loved the most.

But it is undeniable that he may have tried to regain some feeling, so he treated this person with such an attitude.

After this time, Zhong Qiran also started to visit him less frequently.

In the third week in the hospital, he accepted the arrangement of his parents and went home to recuperate. During this period, he didn't have any intention of actively contacting Zhong Qiran.He realized that he had a strange state of mind, and he wanted to use the reactions of others to realize the importance of his missing feelings.Because he can't feel it, he wants to express it to himself through other people.

This is probably something that every patient will experience in the early stage, and Yan Hao is no exception.

Among all the people, Zhong Qiran's reaction was the most flat, or it could be said that he was the most helpless.But the emotion in his eyes couldn't hide it, especially when he looked at himself.

Yan Hao couldn't understand, nor did he try to understand.

He sat by the window, watched Zhong Qiran visit several times, and went back disappointed again and again.

He looked at Zhong Qiran's back, thinking coldly, this is his lover.If you can't even feel the deepest emotion, what reason should you use to bind each other?

So when his mother tentatively proposed to separate himself from Zhong Qiran, he agreed.

Now, Zhong Qiran signed and left again.

There was no feeling of emptiness in his heart, no sadness, no loss.

────

Zhong Qiran returned to the home he shared with Yan Hao.Starting today, the house is in his name.

He sat in the living room in a daze for a while, and when he came back to his senses, he realized that his eyes were blurred.He wiped his tears and sniffed his nose, but found that the tears could not be stopped.He saw a framed photo of the two of them on the living room, couldn't take it anymore, rushed into the bedroom and cried bitterly while hugging the quilt.He really didn't understand why, and he didn't know what he did wrong, but asking would only be more embarrassing than not asking.

Over the past month, he has been telling himself to hold on, to persevere, but he has been deeply hit by disappointment again and again.

After looking at Yan Hao's cold eyes again, he finally couldn't lie to himself that that person really didn't love him anymore.

He cried for a long time, cried until he fell asleep, woke up and continued to cry, and continued to sleep after crying, and the cycle continued until dawn.

The next day, he started packing Yan Hao's things.

Every piece of decoration in the house is meaningful to him, and it is the memory of their life in the past four years.He put it away and cried again, but this time he didn't break down like this anymore, and he didn't throw anything to vent. He let the tears flow down his face quietly, packed Yan Hao's things carefully, and contacted Yan's family. The butler sent someone to retrieve it.

He originally thought that Yan Hao was just talking casually, but he didn't expect that the other party really sent someone to take it a few days later.

Zhong Qiran stood expressionlessly at the door, watching the servants of Yan's family carefully move those boxes out.He didn't dare to have illusions, he just hoped that these things would not be discarded within the scope of what he could see.

In the next few days, he went to work as usual, and he was even a little thankful that he was not encouraged by Yan Hao to work in their company.He studied statistics and was responsible for market analysis in a small company. This industry can span various fields.But he still has a special liking for research. He originally planned to go abroad to study in graduate school to save money, but later he gave up further education because of his marriage to Yan Hao.

Now that he didn't have to be responsible to anyone, he remembered this matter again.But he was still hesitant, but after looking for information on the Internet, he closed the webpage again.

Three months passed quickly, during which Yan Hao did not contact him, nor did he take the initiative to find the other party.

Zhong Qiran is still looking at the materials of foreign research institutes, as if he has been unable to make up his mind.However, he has all the required documents ready and only needs to submit the application.

Half a year later, Zhong Qiranka applied for admission to the three M country colleges he was looking for at the last moment.

And at this time, the TV media began to expose Yan Hao's scandal. The reporter took a picture of him having dinner with the daughter of a wealthy businessman. The report was extremely sensational, and even compared their family backgrounds to match. In the end, I don't know what to use as the basis, but I also got a matching index of 87%.

Zhong Qiran just glanced at it, didn't take it seriously, and looked at the next news with a blank expression.

In the second half of the year, after receiving an admission notice from a certain school, he went back to his hometown to visit his parents, proposed to resign, and planned a few weeks of travel and relaxation.He has saved enough money over the years to cover his tuition and living expenses abroad, but it may not be enough. He plans to work part-time while studying.The money Yan Hao gave him has not been touched, and he has no plans to use it.

The night before he went to country M, he clicked on his cell phone address book and looked at Yan Hao's name.

One year, he gave Yan Hao one year.If the other party's memory recovers a little, even if it's just a call or message, Zhong Qi will be willing to give him another chance.But not at all, Yan Hao still ignored him.

Now he finally understands that he is doomed to be disappointed.

Some people lose their memory only for a short time, and some people lose their memory for a lifetime.But if love is gone, it doesn't seem to matter whether you remember or not.