[Thunderbolt] Pindao just wants to be a quiet Taoist priest

My name is Xia Wugui, and I am a girl, an ordinary girl in modern society.

My parents are both university teachers, and they are more open-minded. They raised me in a free-range way. Therefore, my personality is very cheerful, and optimism and independence have become instinctive.

Growing up on campus, I climbed trees and fought over walls with the boys since I was a child. Generally, I can always be found among the children, like a monkey.I never cried every time I was injured or lost. Every time my mother saw that I was injured, she still smiled and said that I should have been a boy.

Since I was a child, my life has been very warm.Although the family is not very rich, compared to some other children, life is very superior. Generally, there are no worries, and everything you want is available, and I never force what I can't get.Although the family has a little quarrel, it is also considered warm and harmonious.

The thing that troubled me the most since I was a child may be that because I had too much fun with boys, my head teacher thought it was a puppy love, and I was found by my parents once.For the rest, I never worry about it, because I know how to be contented and happy, and I am very easy to be satisfied, and I live a very comfortable and happy life.

I thought that I would live happily ever after until I got married and had children, or even the end of my life.But all the good life is easily broken in front of a piece of news.

Families with only one child can have a second child.

When the rumor surfaced, arguments and cold wars broke out in the family, at first only occasionally, and later became weekly.The originally harmonious family began to break up, and the conflicts between parents also began to break out in an all-round way.

Because my mother worked hard and my father was not at home all year round, the burden of the whole family, including me, who was still a baby at that time, fell on my mother's thin shoulders.

The mother is very strong, in order to allow the father to have a stable rear when he is traveling outside, and to make the family live better, she does not say anything, but silently carries everything.

Everyone said that mother was stupid and carried everything alone.But my mother didn't care, she believed that a family should be of the same mind, so I was very obedient since I was a child, I didn't bother my mother, I took care of myself, and didn't make my mother's hard life even harder.Every time my mother sees my smiling face, she will say that I am the most worry-free and never ignorant like other children. I am also the motivation for her to persevere.And I believed it too.

When I was in elementary school, my mother was finally overwhelmed and suffered from a tumor. She needed surgery to remove her uterus and could no longer have children.

At that time, my father thought that people in his hometown could take good care of his mother, so he took her back to the countryside for surgery and recuperation, but the result was not satisfactory.Not only did the mother not receive good care, but she also got sick again because of poor medical conditions and the jealousy and ridicule of the country people.This time I learned my lesson and went back to the big city for surgery, but my health was not good enough, let alone having a baby.

So, I am the apple of the eye in our family, the only child, and a daughter.

After all, the people in the country pay more attention to boys and think that boys are the heirs.I heard that when I was just born, because I was a daughter, my grandparents once asked my father to divorce and remarry, because a family can only have one child. If the father does not give up the mother, he will only have me for the rest of his life. Daughter, that is the queen.But in the countryside, there are very few people who jumped out of the farm like my mother. She was still an undergraduate, and my father was reluctant, so I didn't leave, but the knot was planted at that time.

Although the family has been living in harmony these years, the father has always wanted a son in his heart, a son who will carry on the family line.

Later, I began to wonder what kind of thoughts my father had in the original free-range education.Back then, he was obviously a university teacher with a stable job, so how could he let go of his family and go out and go home several times a year.

Maybe everything had been foreshadowed, but I never cared about it.Everything may really be predestined.

When the policies and policies really changed, my father began to want to move; when many of my father's colleagues gave birth to second children and had sons, my father was not satisfied that I was the only daughter.

During a winter vacation, on the eve of New Year's Eve, my father slammed the door out. Since that day, he has never returned home.

I once saw my father in a teahouse. At that time, he was very high-spirited and determined not to go home. He decided to divorce, saying that it was because his mother was not filial to his parents.After hearing what he said, I sneered in my heart, anyone can talk about non-existent things.

Later, I heard him on the phone, talking to a divorced man who had a son, and said very happily, "I'm going to get a divorce too." His tone was very smug.I don't understand, what is there to be proud of when you abandon your wife and daughter, and it's worth showing off everywhere?But it is already clear in my heart that there is no possibility for my parents.

That was the last time I saw my father.Before leaving, I asked one last question: "To be honest, why did you abandon mom and me?"

My father gave me a deep look, which made me dare not recall: "Your mother is not worthy of me."

The mother looked for her father everywhere, and there were people who could help him change his mind, but all she got was ridicule from relatives: "I can't even have a son, no wonder I don't want you."

My father was divorced, forcibly divorced three years after he left.And less than a month after the divorce, he married a new wife, and his son just happened to be born, and his household registration book was registered. They are a happy family, and his father's life is complete.

My mother hated her, hated her father's ruthlessness, hated that none of her family and relatives in the country helped her when she couldn't find her father, and hated me even more for being a daughter.

"Why aren't you a boy!"

Such simple words pierced me so badly that I couldn't breathe.

The family of high-level intellectuals is the envy of everyone. How beautiful life was in the past, but how difficult life is now.

My mother can't afford to lose this person. Every time I go to work, I feel that every colleague looks at me with mockery and pity: Look, she values ​​her family and career so much. She ruined her body for the sake of the family, but her husband is otherwise It's ridiculous to marry a new person and have a son.

Maybe others didn't think so, but my mother did.

As a university teacher, my mother loves face so much.Usually, she looks so calm on the surface, but whenever someone talks about family, she will be like a beast that has touched its scales, violently killing people.

"Why aren't you a boy! I was divorced because of you!"

I dare not refute it, because it is a fact.

"I shouldn't have given birth to my first child back then. It was a boy. I shouldn't have given birth to you! Waste, it's useless! The third one was also a baby boy. Why did I give birth to you!"

I gradually lost my smile, became taciturn, and my personality gradually became more like a boy, independent and self-improving, trying to make myself stronger. Now my mother is only me, and I can't abandon her. Mother is my responsibility.

Even though my father abandoned my mother, my mother still loved him in her heart. Although she didn't say anything, she always dreamed of my father and called me by my name.But at the same time, her dissatisfaction with me grew stronger and stronger.

"You are the same white-eyed wolf as your father, a white-eyed wolf you don't know well! The same bad blood!"

As long as she is not obedient, the mother will be irritable, even if she is reasonable, she will refuse to cooperate.I began to feel tired. My mother was not like this before.At that time, the mother was gentle, and sometimes she had the cuteness of a young daughter.As a young girl in the family, her mother has always pampered her growing up, and her journey has been smooth and smooth, and she has never encountered ups and downs.

I can understand, but I can't accept my mother's eyes on me as an enemy.

I started to rebel, and I ushered in my rebellious period when I was in college.

My rebellion is unusual.I put away the makeup and dolls that girls like, never touch those rouge and gouache, and start acting like a real boy.

I don't have the quietness of girls, and I don't like the activities that girls like. I started to get together with boys frequently, fight together, surf the Internet together, and climb over the wall together.All boys can play, and girls are maladjusted, I do better than boys.

I shot the most accurately in basketball; I ran with boys in races and won; I stayed up late to play games online, and I never lost in commanding team battles.I'm no different from a boy except I still have long hair.I started to downplay my gender concept.

Boys regard me as a buddy, and they will definitely call me if they have fun. They never treat me as a girl, and few people pursue me.

Girls rely on me and feel that I am strong. Some things they cannot say to others can be said to me, because I always protect their secrets and are trustworthy.

Just like that, I also forgot that I was a girl, and I didn't feel that I was any worse than other boys.

After facing my mother’s unreasonable anger every time, I learned to calm down; when faced with all malicious cynicism, I can face it calmly; even in the face of many incidents, I can calmly analyze it. Get angry.In this way, in fact, sometimes it can be said to be indifferent.

I can no longer understand some of the emotions of others.To put it simply, the emotional intelligence has become lower.

Every time I deal with something without any haste, my mother always looks at me in disbelief. She never thought that I would be so calm, as if there was no emotion of surprise.

"Poisonous woman, you have no heart at all! Just like your father, the same cold-bloodedness! It is worthy of being in the same line!"

Even if I can calmly face all the abuse, but only one person's words can really hurt me.

I thought I could calmly face the anger that my mother sometimes vented on me when she was in a bad mood, but when I really faced it, I realized that I was really vulnerable.

"People like you should be single, bad genes shouldn't be inherited! Harm to others! Even if you get married, you will be abandoned by others! Freak!"

I was so bruised and bruised that I didn't dare to fall in love because I was afraid that my mother's words would come true, I was afraid that I really had bad genes and would harm my children and grandchildren, and I was even more afraid that I would become the same as my mother now, hurting myself and being close to me irrationally people.

I began to avoid feelings. There were boys who confessed to me, but I rejected them.In my heart, I started to be afraid of getting married, even having children, afraid of repeating the same mistakes.

I use a strong and cheerful appearance to hide my fragile heart.All the people who know me say that I am strong and have no inferiority complex because of being abandoned by my father, but I am not.

I treat people with sincerity, because this is the education I have received since I was a child; I never maliciously calculate others, because I think it is immoral; I cherish all the people who cherish me, because I can’t afford to lose anymore; Pay, because it would make me bruised and bruised; I dare not accept other people's kindness, because I will feel unworthy.

I played Jiansan and built dozens of accounts, all of which are male, but my favorite is Chunyang.Chunyang is a Taoist leader, with a fairy spirit, and he doesn't have to be forced to marry, which is great.

In reality, I am a ladylike image in front of my mother, calm and calm in dealing with things; in the game, I am a "Taoist leader" who is reckless but reticent. In this team battle, I am everywhere The Taoist figure.

In the manga cosplay, I was also the most handsome Taoist Chi Ming Chunyang, coquettish in the audience.Only in this way will I forget all my unhappiness.

Until that day, I had been queuing for jjc for a whole day, but because my teammates were not good enough, I knelt for more than ten rounds in a row and lost the battle rank.I manipulated my most beloved Taoist Chunyang to jump to the Sword Discourse Arena at the back of Mount Hua, and then everything changed.

The author has something to say:

From that day on, Xuanjun gained a new life.He wants to cherish everything, forget the past, and start over.

This is why Xuanjun's character is a little strange, that is, he is a little bold and cheerful, but sometimes delicate and sensitive.

In his heart, he is already a boy, but his natural girlish personality allows him to experience some feelings that only girls can understand, but he has never thought of himself.

The master is the No.1 who brought him a real new life, so in Xuanjun's heart, the master is the relative, the most important, and then other people who treat him well.

In fact, Xuanjun also likes Tiannv, but the broken relationship between his parents has always been in his heart, so he dare not accept it.Coupled with Ji Yunzhou's small actions, he doubted whether he could respond to the sincerity of Qi Tiannv, so the result after that was a tragedy.

Xuanjun is an emotional coward, if he doesn't take the initiative to really break his heart, he will definitely not be able to catch up with him.

Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution~

Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:

Shuying Floating Life·Qimengren 1 bottle;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!