twin stars

Feng Xiangjie

"Meteor" was released, and I didn't expect to win the "Best Supporting Actor" award for my performance in "Meteor" at the Golden Inlaid Awards Ceremony half a year later.I was very happy. When I stepped on the podium, I seemed to be much younger.It has been 13 years since the last time it won the Golden Show Award.As I grew older, I thought I would never have a chance to win a Gold Mount again, and now the void has been filled and my wish has come true.

When filming "Meteor", I was a little touched by A Rong's words.Do you want to confess?When I was young, I was always conflicted and worried. I was afraid that I would be disgusted by Xiao Yi after confessing my confession, and I didn't even have to be a brother.But later, he didn't confess his love, and he didn't even have to be a brother.Since it's all the same result, it shouldn't change anything for me to show my love to him.

If he knew... he would probably be surprised, right?If he feels embarrassed and doesn't need him to hide from me, I will automatically disappear in front of him.Maybe... he will look at me with sympathy?Or, or would he be troubled, conflicted, even guilty?Back then Xiao Yi sternly rejected Ah Liu, but unexpectedly Ah Liu left without saying goodbye.Xiao Yi was very drunk at that time and felt very guilty.Perhaps, he also feels guilty and burdened by not being able to respond to my feelings?I have no idea!I don't need his guilt, and I don't need his sympathy.I don't want to be seen by him as weak and wretched.Maybe it's better not to say anything... But, if he understands my intentions, he probably won't be angry at me for disregarding brotherhood and always avoiding him, right?

what to do?Should I confess?

Just when I was struggling, I received a call from Zhang Dao's assistant.Not long ago, the official TV station of Hangcheng held a selection of classic movies in Hangcheng, and there was no martial arts movie directed by Zhang on the list!Zhang Dao once led the trend of Chinese martial arts movies more than 20 years ago, and his masterpieces have been well-known internationally. However, in just 20 years, audiences have forgotten his movies!Not only his films, but also many excellent works of Zhao Film Company - the former "Hollywood of the East" are not on the list.The audience is always the most forgetful, and the new generation of audiences will also chase after the new generation of idols, but the film professionals in Air City should not forget.Director Zhang's films opened up the atmosphere and trend of the times, and changed Hangcheng's films from mainly female characters to male characters, which is a source of inspiration for future generations to create.Although martial arts movies have declined, many directors active in the film industry of Hangcheng have been directly or indirectly influenced by him.His films, together with the films of the other three great directors of Zhao Film Company - Director Hu, Director Li, and Director Chu, are dormant cultural treasures that need to be studied, inherited and carried forward by future generations, and should not be forgotten by the world.

This time Director Zhang invited me and other disciples and young directors to his house, nominally to hold a small press conference for a TV series that Director Zhang supervised, but in fact he wanted to express his dissatisfaction with the official selection.In order to support Zhang Dao, I must participate, even if I meet Xiao Yi.Li Gang, Xu Ke, Asen and some other top filmmakers and directors in Hangcheng were also invited.I really want to meet Li Gang. His martial arts TV series "Nine Yin Prequels" has a unique style, and he has captured Xiao Yi's unique style, which only director Zhang has shown in his films.

When he came to Zhang Dao's house, many disciples had already gathered together, and Xiao Yi was also chatting with everyone.I was a little hesitant to go up to say hello, but he seemed to pretend he didn't see me.If I take the initiative to speak, I will probably be making fun of myself, right?Alas, anyway, I'm still both happy and nervous to see him now.

Zhang Dao is 75 years old, almost an octogenarian, with gray hair and a stooped figure. He can hardly speak and can only communicate with a pen.In these years, Xiao Yi went to Canada without Zhang Dao's knee, and I rarely visited him. On the one hand, I felt that he was surrounded by many young disciples, and I was not alone. Affection.Zhang Dao, Mr. Li Kuang, Xiao Yi and I, what a stable combination they used to be, and what brilliant achievements they made, but now it seems like a lifetime away.I am afraid to recall the past, afraid to bring up the past.

Some other familiar disciples came to greet me, and the people in the room unconsciously divided into two groups centered on Xiaoyi and me.I glanced at Xiao Yi out of the corner of my eye, and saw that he was still as handsome as before, talking and laughing freely.Why is it so close, but I can't even take a step, and I can't even talk like ordinary friends?Now even if I want to tell him my heart, I can't find a way!

At this time, a well-mannered young man entered the room, it was Li Gang!I took the initiative to walk up to him and shook hands with him and said, "Hello! I saw your filming of "Nine Yin Prequels", and the filming of Xiao Yi was very good!" confidence.I quickly explained: "I said that, but I didn't want to ask you to make a movie!" He reacted, nodded repeatedly, chatted with me enthusiastically, and glanced at Xiaoyi from time to time.I also want to know Xiao Yi's reaction, but I dare not look at him.

After the reporters arrived, the reception was formally held.Director Zhang asked Xiao Yi and I to speak on his behalf.Our eyes met at this moment, but we quickly avoided it.I know that Xiao Yi, like me, wanted to sternly reprimand the unfairness of the official selection, but Director Zhang told us not to be impatient, so we had to say a few opening remarks that were neither salty nor bland.Afterwards, Xu Ke and several other directors began to attack, criticizing the so-called official selection to the ground, and made a bad breath for Director Zhang, which made people very happy!At the end of the reception, Director Zhang also wrote a note, saying that he hoped to cooperate with three generations of Xu Ke and Li Gang to make a movie.Unexpectedly, he is old and unable to move, and his greatest wish is still to make movies!

When the reception was over, Xiao Yi and I shook hands politely and said goodbye without saying a word to each other.I don't know how to speak.Is his heart already cold and weak, and he doesn't care if he has me as a friend?I have been avoiding him all the time, but now I want to confess my love to him, will he find it ridiculous, will he sneer at me?

Maybe... I don't confess my love face to face, but just hint to him and let him guess my mind?By doing this, I don't need to face his surprised eyes and all kinds of embarrassments, but also let him understand my intentions, and stop being angry that I always avoid him.Yes, this is the best way!I was heartened that I had finally thought of a way to have the best of both worlds.But... how to hint?

It suddenly occurred to me that six years ago Mainland China and Hangcheng co-produced a movie "Overlord", starring Ah Rong, which won many international awards.The film tells the ups and downs of two Peking opera actors who are brothers and sisters for most of their lives.Die Yi, played by Ah Rong, is in love with her senior brother Duan Lou, but Duan Lou marries Ruoxian, a famous brothel prostitute.During the catastrophic movement in the Mainland, Duan Lou betrayed Dieyi in order to protect Ruoxian. The angry Dieyi exposed Ruoxian's identity as a gangster. In order to protect himself, Duan Lou drew a clear line with Ruoxian, which caused Ruoxian suicide.Years later, the movement ended, and the brothers once again performed the classic "Farewell My Concubine" on the same stage. After Dieyi sang the last line, he stabbed himself with a sword and died in the arms of his brother whom he had loved for decades.

This is the same as Chu Linyuan's "Moon Slave" more than 20 years ago, and it is also a tragic story of gay unrequited love.The selfishness of human nature is fully reflected in this movie, and the despair, jealousy, madness and sorrow of love also permeate the whole movie.In the general environment of the times, everyone has a tragic ending, and no one is redeemed.

Duan Lou succumbed to the world, succumbed to the environment and pressure, and made a choice against his will; Die Yi, however, persisted in his obsession, clinging to his obsession, and lived towards death.The experience of the two people is placed in the background of the times, sublimating the theme of the movie, with national and social characteristics, and it is a fierce conflict between reality and belief.Is this what the director wants to express?But for me, isn't Die Yi, who lives to death, just a reflection of me?Just like me, he couldn't let go of his obsession, and couldn't let go of that hopeless love.

I also wanted to make a gay movie.Many years ago, a reporter asked me if Xiao Yi and I would co-produce a gay-themed movie, and I refused in a panic.Xiao Yi wrote his first script, and I also objected to shooting.Now if I have the opportunity to shoot, will I be able to convey my heart to Xiaoyi?I vented to the media that I wanted to do a gay-themed film, but no director approached me.The only thing I was asked to shoot was a story about homosexuality causing family misfortune. I was not satisfied with the script, so I turned it down.

what to do?How can I let Xiao Yi know my feelings?

"Liuguang is easy to throw people away, the cherries are red, and the plantains are green." The days passed quickly in the confusion.

Suddenly received a call from the teacher's wife, Zhang Dao fell ill and was hospitalized.I hurried to visit.

Gently walked into the ward and came to the bedside.Director Zhang lay on the bed with his eyes closed, looking even thinner and haggard, like an old tree that had been ravaged by wind and frost.Hearing my voice, he opened his eyes and tried to sit up tremblingly.I lifted him up and put the pillow behind his back.

He motioned for me to get a pen and paper, and wrote down a paragraph:

"I came up with another script, still starring you and Xiao Yi, telling the story of the escort, the title is "The Bodyguard". I just thought about the outline, let Li Kuang write the script."

I was stunned for a moment, and the soreness rushed from my chest to the tip of my nose.I turned my head and wiped away the tears overflowing from the corners of my eyes, then turned my head and forced myself to smile:

"Director Zhang, that movie...we've already made it."

A luxurious restaurant appeared in front of my eyes. Zhang Dao, Mr. Li Kuang, Xiao Yi and I were chatting freely in the private room. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, we could see a golden long dragon made of lights stretching into the distance. It was a lively street in Hangcheng, with many small stalls Hawkers, busy and popular.

We chatted all over the world in the private room, talking about wine, martial arts, and heroes. I was amazed by the knowledge and knowledge of Zhang Dao and Mr. Li Kuang, and strengthened my determination and belief in being a "Xia". The script outline of "The Bodyguard" was also born in the chat.Xiao Yi has been sitting beside me, smiling.At that time, we were not only close in distance, but also close in heart.

All of that is just a dream for me now.

"Have you filmed it? Oh, I forgot. Then I'll think about it again!" Zhang Dao's mouth twitched silently, as if he was muttering "I'll think about it again".

"Director Zhang, take a good rest when you're sick, and you'll still have a lot of time to think about it slowly." Seeing that he was showing his old age, I tried to persuade him, suppressing my sadness.

"Ajie, will you come back to film my movie? Come with Xiao Yi? I haven't seen him for a long time. You are my most proud disciple and the most successful twin partner."

I couldn't bear the pain in my heart anymore, and knelt in front of Zhang Dao's bed, lowered my head and wept silently.

Dao Zhang wrote a few lines in a rustle, and put the tablet in front of my eyes: "You child is too self-denying! You have a lot of grievances, but you keep them in your heart, and you don't say them! Are you overwhelmed?"

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and nodded.

He has always been a big tree that shelters us from wind and rain, promotes us, polishes us, and makes us bear fruit, but his energy is exhausted.When he was old, we were not by his side.

"Director Zhang, it's time for you to retire. Stop thinking about movies and enjoy your old age. I'll give you money for your retirement." I earnestly suggested.

Hearing this, Zhang Dao became emotional suddenly, his fingers kept trembling: "Do you think I'm old and useless? Dislike me?" He scribbled on the paper, his handwriting was very scribbled: "You all think I'm It’s no good, I think I’m outdated, old-fashioned, old-fashioned and stubborn, thinking that I can’t make good movies anymore, don’t you? They don’t come to see me, they treat me as a burden, they think I’m a blessing, and they’re asking for trouble! "

"No, no!" I was too sad to speak.I have always regarded you as my father, how could I despise you?

"I don't want your sympathy and relief. I have been working all the time to rely on myself. Medical expenses, living expenses, I have to rely on myself. Thank you for your care!" His last sentence obviously regarded me as an outsider.I feel very wronged, I was well-intentioned, but he misunderstood me.Before leaving, I left 10 yuan to my teacher's wife. Although it is not much, it is also a heart.

A few days later, I went to the hospital to see him again.He was in good spirits, and he didn't mention the past, and he didn't know if he had forgotten it.He ate several egg tarts and said that he would be discharged from the hospital in a few days.I felt a little relieved, so I went to the mainland to film.

Unexpectedly, not long after, news came from Hangcheng that Zhang Dao died of illness!

Lei Yi

I was surprised and also very angry that there was no film directed by Zhang in the selection of classic films in Hangcheng.Director Zhang has made such a great contribution to the development of martial arts movies. Many foreign filmmakers never forget his movies. From time to time, they organize groups from thousands of miles to visit him in Hangcheng. How can people in Hangcheng be so forgetful?The media in Hangcheng was also very mean to Zhang Dao.Zhou Chixing once wanted to change the way of comedy dramas and find director Zhang to make a movie for him, but the media strongly opposed it, saying that A Xing's move was "artistic suicide", and he was extremely mean and sarcastic towards director Zhang.Even if the hero is late, the world should not be so powerful, and should not lose basic respect for veterans who have made great achievements!

I participated in the small press conference held at Zhang Dao's home with a feeling of injustice.Ajie was also invited to this party.The moment he walked into the room, I tried to hold back my resentment and tried to ignore him.But it didn't take long before he couldn't help sneaking a glance at him.I secretly warned myself: don't care, don't care!But with such constant emphasis and hints, he was all in his mind.

"Hello! I saw your film "Nine Yin Prequels", and Xiao Yi's filming is very good!"

I heard the conversation between him and Li Gang, and my whole body was shocked: He, he was watching a TV series I filmed!

No avoidance, no repulsion, no rejection, he... has been watching?In his heart...still thinking about me?

There are mixed feelings in my chest, and I can't tell what it feels like.The resentment has not dissipated, but the frozen soil deep in my heart seems to be loosening, the severe cold is receding, and I seem to smell the warmth of spring.

am i happy?Because of his words, I couldn't restrain my joy, just like a puppy begging for mercy, but after receiving a little inadvertent attention from the owner, I was so happy that I forgot the east, west, south, and north.

It has been a long time since I have tasted the taste of "happiness". The pure "happiness" without any impurities and burdens is like drinking a sip of fruit wine that is naturally fermented by fruit, sweet and sour, and slightly alcoholic. Not greasy, sweet to the bottom of my heart.He just gave a ray of sunshine, and I was so happy, the solid wall built by resentment seemed to collapse at any time.

In front of him, is he so humble?I can't do anything about myself!

The reception was over, and I didn't speak a word to him.

Return to Canada, or continue to stay in Air City to make movies and TV series?

There are two "I" in the heart who are arguing fiercely.

"What else do you want him to do? Don't you think he has been hurt enough?"

"But you can't forget him at all. He is watching your TV series, which means he is paying attention to you, he has you in his heart, and you still have hope."

"But he still won't see you!"

"But you want to see him, you still love him, you miss him like crazy."

"Enough, enough! Don't say it! If he still has me in his heart, why does he torture me and make me suffer so much? I hate him, and I won't forgive him!"

"But...you still have hope..."

Is there hope?Can I see the occasional faint starlight in the long night as hope?I don't know, I'm at a loss.For the next few years, I flew back and forth between Canada and Airtown, swinging like a pendulum in both places, between hope and disappointment.

Maybe all I can do is wait...

Seeing media reports, Ajie said that he wanted to play gay.I don't understand why he says this, just to challenge the character and acting?Back then, if I had been soft on him, forced him or even tricked him into making gay-themed movies with me, maybe I would have figured out his intentions long ago and would not have missed him.But what's the use of saying this now?

Zhang Dao was hospitalized.I flew back to Hangcheng to visit, and he was still talking about making a movie on the hospital bed, told me about the Datong plan, and complained that Ajie detested him, and actually asked him to retire.The older a person is, the more stubborn he is. Movies are Director Zhang's obsession.Ahxiu and I dare not openly disobey him, and we all follow his will and talk to Huatou, only Ajie still has that straightforward temperament, he can't turn corners when he speaks, and he goes straight.

"Ajie, he...has no malicious intentions!" I couldn't help but defend Ajie.

"I know he doesn't mean anything malicious, but I don't like to hear what he says, I don't like to hear it! He always says things that others don't like to hear!" Zhang Dao wrote angrily on the paper: "When he interacts with people like this, in the future He will definitely suffer. But this kid still has a conscience, I plan to direct a movie, and he agreed to shoot it with you."

"What? He agreed to make a movie with me?" I raised my head abruptly, with sparks of hope shining in my pupils.

"Yeah, I'm filming "The Bodyguard". I have written the outline. You play a wandering knight, and he plays the role of a famous disciple. He and his junior sister guard the bodyguard together. They meet you. You die to save him in the end."

I opened my mouth and couldn't speak for a long time.What he was facing now was Zhang Dao's aging face and chaotic memory.After a while, with tears in my eyes, I smiled and said, "Okay, I'll shoot with him!"

"I know that after Ajie left, you lost your backbone and lost your soul. I saw it in my eyes and was anxious in my heart. Now that he has promised to come back, we can film movies like before! I believe that the cooperation of the three of us will surely Can win the box office champion!"

I suppressed my tears, nodded and said, "Well, I will definitely do it!"

The doctor said that Dao Zhang's condition was stable and he would be discharged soon, so I flew back to Canada with peace of mind.But not long after, his condition suddenly deteriorated, and news came from the hospital: Zhang Dao passed away.

The whole funeral was arranged by me and Hugh.Almost all generations of Zhang Dao’s disciples came, as well as many old friends and industry professionals. Boss Zhao also sent wreaths.

On the day of the funeral, Ajie was not present.He said that he couldn't come back after filming in the Mainland, so he sent his son as a representative.

I spoke on behalf of my disciples, and I opened the written speech, but I couldn't read it.Looking at the portrait of Zhang Dao, the past scenes emerged: he was the one who sheltered me under the feathers, he was the one who changed the fate of my life, it was he who made me fall in love with movies and martial arts, it was he who made me meet Ajie... I still remember that not long after I became famous, I was not used to being interviewed by a large number of reporters, so I hid behind him and asked him to come forward to handle the interview for me.Now, the person who sheltered me is gone!

My eyes were blurred, I put away my speech, choked with sobs, and said, "Director Zhang confiscated Qizi, but we all regard him as our father. Now our group of disciples shout 'Old Dou' together, and see him off."

Dozens of disciples bowed together majestically and shouted: "Old Dou!"

The tears in my eyes were so hot that they seemed to scald the skin on my cheeks.

he's gone!he's gone!Ajie, why don't you come?

He occupies such an important position in our lives, but you don't even see him off for the last time?

With tears in my eyes, I saw Zhang Dao with his stomach full, a cigar in his mouth, shaking his folding fan while guiding Ajie to act.Ajie listened attentively.When Zhang Dao talked about the rise, he grinned triumphantly, showing a mouthful of yellow teeth, in high spirits.

The two of them are the two pillars in my life, supporting the whole sky for me.But now, one avoids me, and the other leaves me forever.

Ajie, I hope you will accompany me and send him off with me.I send it alone, it is really difficult, very difficult!

Why don't you come even at this time?In order to avoid me, you don't even send the person we all regard as our father?

I hate you!I hate you!

When I was holding Zhang Dao's portrait and was about to board the hearse, a reporter broke through the defense and stopped me for an interview: "Is there any special reason why Feng Xiangjie didn't attend the funeral?"

The blood rushed straight to the top of my skull, and I shouted angrily: "Don't mention his name in front of me in the future!"

The reporter was frightened by my aura and backed up a few steps, and was escorted away by the rushing security guards in a panic.

Feng Xiangjie

"Young people, you must know how to control your alcohol intake!"

Many years ago, because of a fight, I was locked up in the police station, Zhang Dao and Xiao Yi came to bail me out.I was anxiously preparing to accept Zhang Dao's severe reprimand, but he just said such a sentence lightly.

I will always remember this kindness in my heart!

he's gone!

I cried bitterly in the room.

I can not go!Because Xiao Yi was there.

Xiaoyi and I used to follow him closely like two chicks.He taught us how to fly hand in hand, took care of us and protected us wholeheartedly.

He is our common father!

What should I do if Xiao Yi is crying like me?

I would hold him in my arms, cry with him, and beg him to stay with me, beg him not to leave me alone!

The time with him and Director Zhang was too gorgeous and dazzling, like bright fireworks illuminating my whole life.But in those few short years, the happiness of my life was overdrawn!The fireworks bloom in an instant, but I have to pay back with my life!

Only Xiaoyi can bring me back to the old happiness.However, I cannot ask him for it selfishly.

So, I can't go to the funeral!When I was so sad, I didn't know what nonsense I would say to him.

Xiao Yi, I hope you can understand me, and I hope you don't get angry with me!I really have no way!I can't do it without loving you!

After the funeral, I heard rumors that he was still angry!How can I explain it?

When the reporter asked me why I didn't attend the funeral, I used the excuse that I was filming in the Mainland, and quoted two lines of poetry: "If the relationship between the two lasts for a long time, how can it be day and night".

These two poems come from "Magpie Bridge Fairy", which is about the story of Cowherd and Weaver Girl. They are also "double stars"!

Xiaoyi, there is a vast Milky Way between you and me, and there is no bridge between us, I can't cross it, and I can't meet you.can you understand

He probably... It's hard to understand, and it's hard to understand, right?well!

Not long after, I heard that a foreign film company named "Tianying" bought all the film copyrights of Zhao's film company at a high price, and all the films made by Director Zhang were among them.Tianying Company used new technology to restore Zhao's old movies decades ago, made them into high-definition Blu-rays, and released them again.Many viewers got to know Director Zhang and his films during this restoration activity, as well as the twin combination of Xiao Yi and me.Various interviews and commemorative activities came one after another.Xiaoyi also accepted many interviews.When the reporter asked about our life in Zhao's company, he said that he cooperated with me the most, and everyone was like a family at that time.Yeah, I see you as family too!A reporter also asked us about the process of filming "The Assassin". Xiao Yi said that his performance was the first time he did not use the way of getting along in life, but "with hatred, with hatred, and with love... ...".Do you know, I am the same!It's just that what you carry is brotherly love, but what I carry is love for you as a lover, and hatred that cannot be loved... When will you understand?

On April Fool's Day this year, Ah Rong committed suicide by jumping off a building!The news hit my ears like a bolt from the blue, and I was in a trance, unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality, just like when Ah Sheng died in a car accident 20 years ago.

"I won't forgive him, and I won't help him!" Ah Fa's eyes were red, and he hammered the wall angrily: "I clearly said that I am a good brother who will never leave, but he is tortured by illness, why doesn't he ask us for help?" Brother Jie, do you know that a few days before he committed suicide, he went to my house for dinner. On this day, I want my friends to treat it as a joke. I really took this news as a joke at first... Brother Jie, you said, he, he actually joked with us, joked with us..." Ah Fa couldn't control himself, Walking around excitedly with fists clenched.

I stepped forward and pressed his shoulder.He stayed for a moment, then hugged me suddenly, weeping uncontrollably.I also wept silently.This is not the first time I have lost an important "brother".

I lost Zhang Dao last year and A Rong this year. "Farewell" is always so close to me!

I learned from A Rong’s colleague, A Tang, and his family members: A Rong suffered from neurotic depression a long time ago, and the mental depression turned into physical pain and torture, which made him suffer unspeakably. The doctor's medicine didn't work.

I don't know how he got depressed.He has always pursued perfection, and has almost strict requirements for his career and work.Perhaps because of his pursuit of perfection in his career, and he has a boyfriend of the same sex, others are full of doubts and ridicule about his acting skills, which prevents him from being treated and affirmed fairly, so he can't think about it and suffers from depression.Obviously it wasn't his fault, yet he had to endure such torture...

very cold!I stood on the roof of the building and saw A Rong sitting on the edge of the roof of the opposite building, and the night wind lifted the corner of his clothes.

I suppressed my grief and asked, "A Rong, do you regret being with A Tang in the future? If you weren't together, you wouldn't be under such a great pressure!"

He smiled slightly, still so elegant: "I don't regret it! I just didn't succeed, I didn't beat them, and I didn't beat myself. Brother Jie, I hope...you can succeed!"

"But..." I choked up and said, "I failed at the beginning!"

He looked at me and smiled without saying a word.After a long time, he finally said: "Don't leave regrets for yourself, don't let yourself regret..." His words drifted to high places with the wind, to the deep night sky...

The following year, French movie fans invited me to attend the Zhao Film Festival. The French reporters were not as scrupulous as the reporters in Hangcheng, and asked me about my past with Xiaoyi.

"We used to be very good friends." After considering the words, I replied: "The media always likes to compare us and set up barriers between us. In fact, we... have no real enmity. If there is a chance, I would like to be with you. He's working together again. We were so close before that some media said we were gay."

The reporters looked at each other, probably surprised that I would take the initiative to bring up this topic. "Are you?"

"I'm not." I replied with a smile.

I have always only liked Xiao Yi, and I have never been interested in other men.Those who have had a good impression are also women.Am I gay like this?I only know one thing, whether Xiao Yi is a man or a woman, I will love him.If he turns into a girl, I can't wait for it; it doesn't matter if I turn into a woman, as long as I can be with him.What I love is his soul, no matter what gender he is, it will not affect my love.

"May I ask what Zhao's Film Company means to you?"

"It means having fun and finding answers!"

At that time, I was always looking for the answer: I wanted to know whether Xiao Yi cared about me, whether he was willing to be with me, whether being together would cause irreparable harm to him, whether I could protect him, and want to know Knowing whether the plan to quit the entertainment industry can be realized... At that time, there were too many doubts and too much hesitation.

Even now I'm still looking for answers: Should I confess my love?Should confession be made in person or by hint?

Confession in person, probably still can't be realized, right?When I saw him, I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, let alone tell him what I had been holding in my heart for a long time.I'm afraid I'll just be incoherent in panic...

Lei Yi

Ajie said, "If the two loves last for a long time, how can they be in the morning and evening", what does this mean?Is he implying that he and I are Cowherd and Vega?

In the dream, a voice said to me: "You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. The person you love is still thinking of you!"

Tears welled up in my eyes.He still misses me, but so what?He can let go, let go, and never see me, but what should I do?How do I let go, let go?

The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl still meet each other every year, but he wants to hide from me for the rest of his life!

The words in my heart have never been spoken, and many things have not been clarified, but he has already decided our life for me, has not listened to my opinion, and has not given me any chance to choose. How can I let go of this?

When he didn't see me, he just took a soft knife and cut my heart one by one. I would rather be stabbed to death by him than suffer such "lingchi"!

unforgivable!Unforgivable!

If I can't meet and speak clearly, I will never forgive him!

After Director Zhang passed away, I stayed in Hangcheng for a few months every year, in the name of filming, but I couldn't lie to myself, I was always waiting for the opportunity to meet Ajie.On April Fool's Day, Zhang Guorong committed suicide by jumping off a building. The entire Chinese community was shocked, and I also deeply regret it.He is a singer and actor I like very much, but he did not expect to choose such a path.Ajie is very familiar with him, probably will be very sad?But what was the use of worrying about him?I can't go to his side to comfort him.Alas, I am being selfish again.

Two years later, I heard that Ajie was answering fans' questions at the Zhao Fan Club. A fan said that because she and her friend liked Ajie and me respectively, the two had conflicts because of our affairs and ignored each other.Ajie said: "Lei Yi and I are inseparable. To love him is to support me!"

I didn't expect Ajie to say such a thing!

Regardless of each other...

To love me is to support him...

It's that long-lost happy taste again!

I once again fell into a contradiction, while spurning myself for being too easily shaken, while desperately resisting the attack of "joy".However, everyone hates pain, who is willing to resist "joy"?

The author has something to say:

Let me explain: the previous chapters are basically more than 3000 words per chapter, and I can guarantee that they will be updated every two days.But in the last few chapters, in order to reduce the number of chapters and make the content fuller, the number of words in each chapter is basically more than [-] words, so it is updated every six days, and I am a little busy recently, and it is very slow. Please forgive me. !There are still two or three chapters to finish, I hope you don't worry.

This chapter makes complaints: Obviously, when two people meet each other, they speak clearly, which is simple and direct.But in the end?Always say some suggestive words in the air to let the other party guess.Alas, it can really kill people.