Fast time travel makes me happy

My name is Lin Zhi, female.

How old is not clear, because I don't know how long I will live.

If I look back on my life in this life, I think I had a great time.

I met the person I love, and she also loves me very much.

The encounter between the two of us was actually not happy, and that was when we were in junior high school.

She is a transfer student, and it is said that she was transferred to our class because she did not listen to the teacher's discipline.

I had already read the book for a month in the first day of junior high school, and I still remember that when she was transferred, no one let go of her eyes, and she didn't listen to the teacher's words.

She was seated behind me.

When she came, the first thing she said when she came into contact with me was: "Little girl, you are pretty."

He looked like a copycat king on TV.

At that time, I was isolated by other girls in the class, and the boys would talk to me "Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

When she said that, I was taken aback.

She sat behind me, probably because of her, as long as she was with those girls, she would not dare to do anything to me.

I also learned from other people's conversations that this person beat so-and-so today, this person beat that senior in turn, and then this person became the bully of my middle school.

I actually don’t think she’s scary at all, because I’ve seen her fight, and she beat up the group of third parties who bullied the lower grades until they cried mother, and picked up the books of the lower graders.

I have also seen this person help an old man repair a tricycle that collects waste, and he also drank his own mineral water bottle and handed it to the old man.

I don't think she's bad at all.

Can academic performance measure a person's good and evil?

The teacher doesn't like her and always wants to drive her away, but does the teacher know that many of her good students scold her behind her back?

Many people have bullied me?

I know about bullying, I knew it a long time ago.

When I was young, people of my age laughed at me for not having a father, saying that my family was poor.

The female teacher who came to support teaching told me that people should be poor and ambitious, but she also left after staying for a while.

I am grateful to her. It is she who let me know that there is a kind of fairness in the world called learning, and what you learn will not lie.

I also know that if my academic performance is good, I can get the poverty subsidy from the state, and if my academic performance is top-notch, the schools that recruit me can exempt me from tuition and miscellaneous fees.

Learning let me know the only fair thing on campus.

But she doesn't like studying, but she won't be like that person when she takes the exam, asking me to copy the questions for her, and won't let other people bully me because I didn't copy the questions for her.

They won't hit me because I'm pretty, or because of a boy I don't know.

When I was in the second year of junior high school, I was blocked in an alley by a group of young girls. This man unexpectedly fell from the sky and saved me.

But she changed schools the next day.

In high school, we met again, and I used her fame in junior high school to settle those who wanted to bully me well.

And when I was locked in the toilet that day, she appeared again. She always saw me in the most distressed side, but she kept lending a helping hand.

I always knew this guy was really nice.

OK, I'm hooked on her.

Became friends with her, and then became lovers.

Me, I have never been as beautiful as you think.

One day, I was lying on the sofa with her, held in her arms, and suddenly remembered the first time we met.

I asked her, does she still remember the first sentence she said to me?

She said she still remembered, after all, it was the first time she saw such a beautiful girl.

"I knew you had been coveting my beauty for a long time."

She coughed and said, "I was just joking."

"I'm not kidding."

"Haha..." She smiled exaggeratedly, and then said seriously, "Yes, I have been coveting your beauty for a long time, I am not only coveting your beauty, I also covet your body, girl, Remember to wash it up tonight."

Provoking my chin like a big pervert, I was not angry, and replied with a smile: "You can sleep on the sofa tonight."

"Baby, I was wrong, I was wrong..." She was begging for mercy again.

Sometimes I wonder if she has two faces, the domineering one and the coquettish one.

But either way I like it.

Because of love, I never intend to let go.

It wasn't until this medical report was abnormal that I knew something was going to happen.

Will destroy everything I have now.

leukemia.

Inherited to me from a father I never met.

This is ridiculous and absurd.

How could I be sick?

I was sentenced to death.

--------

I once had a dream, back in high school, in the sea of ​​dark green camphor trees, with the rustling sound of the wind blowing the trees, and the summer sun shining brightly on the world.

On the path that must be passed every day, the sun shines through the branches and leaves of the camphor tree, and the light and shadow are mottled.

The scene changed, and I was standing outside the basketball court. Qin Junyi and Li Ziming were still dressed in high school, one with red hair and the other with blue hair.

The two are scrambling for the ball, and their playing strength is evenly matched.

The sound of the basketball hitting the ground, bouncing up and down again and again, the two boys were sweating profusely, the basketball flew parabolicly to the other side and when it was about to draw a line, one person caught it and dribbled it, the pace was in the three-pointer With a heavy step on the line, he flew up, slam dunks, and three-pointers.

Light as a bird, the white T-shirt was raised like white feathers.

Who is this person?

I knew exactly who she was, but I couldn't remember her name.

This sent me into a panic, and it scared me even more.

The three of them were laughing and playing, I saw Qin Junyi's exaggerated expression, and Li Ziming gave this powerful look in recognition, but what about her?

What are they talking about?

The three of them left here, disappeared in this stadium, and disappeared in an instant, leaving me alone.

Came to the sea of ​​camphor trees again, walking forward alone.

I couldn't see her appearance, her whole body was a ball of light, I ran towards her, but I couldn't catch or hold her.

I'm getting more and more scared, I want her to wait for me, but her name can't be said when it comes to my mouth.

She's going to go away soon, and I know I won't be able to find her.

"Shen Muyun!" I called out to her with all my might.

The man stopped for a moment, why did the camphor leaves fall while they were still green?Is it because of too much wind?

She turned around, still looking like a ball of light, she was standing far, far away from me.

I want to cry because it's hard and I don't know why it's so hard.

I wanted to call out her name again, but I forgot what it was.

Why is it so cold in summer?

"I am, I am..."

Falling into a gentle embrace, I looked up and saw Shen Muyun in high school, wearing a blue and white school uniform, with neat short black hair, and the sharp eyebrows softened, the light in the eyes is a kind of vitality, piercing to the depths of the soul , to drive away all the darkness, and hug me hard.

Saying over and over again: "I am, I am..."

The next morning, at the dining table, she said that I was talking in my sleep last night, and I was calling her in my dream.But she guessed it must not be a good dream, because she saw that I was sweating and knew that I was suffering.

Wanting to wake me up, but knowing that I have been insomnia all night these days, she had no choice but to hug me hard, saying that I was there over and over again, and I gradually relaxed.

I don't know if this dream is just a sign that we will eventually separate.

--------

I always think of the days we used to get along.

I remembered a time when she was injured because of protecting others.

The old electric fan in the hospital was still spinning crazily, she said, "Lin Zhi, I think I like you."

The darkness in my heart was completely swept away.

I replied: "Okay."

Skip I like you too, skip all the multiple choice questions, and only give the only standard answer.

During the high school graduation photoshoot, she stood behind me and held my hand. When the cameraman said eggplant, she leaned into my ear and said, "Lin Zhi, let's be together."

"Okay."

The whole class said in unison: "Eggplant!"

The cameraman pressed the shutter, sealed us in our youth, and gave us a key to open our memories.

I also fixed my happiest smiling face on it. During the class reunion, someone even took out the photo and said, "Why did Shen Muyun only take half of his face, it must be too close to Lin Zhi."

I didn't tell them that this person confessed to me at the time.

The person with only half of the face in the photo had a smirk, because she not only said but also kissed my ear.

After I finished answering, three seconds after the photographer had pressed the shutter button, and when the students were about to leave, I kissed them.

This man has always been this bad.

--------

When filling out the university.

Shen Muyun's college entrance examination results were comparable to her expectations, and she also chose a key university in the south. The four seasons are like spring, which is suitable for her temperament that is afraid of the cold, and is more suitable for retirement.

I chose a northern national key university, and she said that my grades should go to this school for further study.

I talked to her about a long-distance relationship.

In the second semester of my junior year, the counselor gave me a recommended place to study in graduate school, but I didn't accept it because I wanted to be with her sooner.

I like her very much.

Much earlier than she fell in love with me.

Like I never returned her junior high school jacket, I never returned her high school t-shirt.

Shen Muyun, you are the one I like first.

I like you holding my hand and walking under the camphor tree, I like the gardenia you gave me, I like everything about you.

--------

The content of this letter of mine is very small, because I will say almost what I want to say when I am alive.

For the first time, I felt that writing a letter was such an annoying thing, because when I wrote these words, every word told me that I would not live long.

It's really too bad.

I feel the pain very clearly again, you are falling into sleep quietly, I know you sleep very little every day, you are lying on the sofa under the sun, the golden light beams, fine floating dust are shining brightly.

I looked at you who fell asleep at this moment and remembered, how long you had been entangled in the snowy night, how long you had prepared in your heart for what you were about to say, and how many rehearsals you had rehearsed.

Say what you want to say, "Lin Zhi, let's live together."

What I didn't do on the snowy night of my sophomore year, come into our home at the end of college, and get done.

Shen Muyun, I want to say: "If we had known each other earlier, then I would have fallen in love with you earlier."

A little earlier, a little more time.

......

Just write the suicide note here.

Hello, Shen Muyun!

Don't cry when you read it.

You should be like a little sun, always with a bright smile.

"My name is Shen Muyun." Just like you said your name on the podium, you proudly raised your head like a lion, not afraid of anything.

......

Shen Muyun, I really want to stay with you a little longer, a little longer, until our gray hair is no longer young.

......

But things are unpredictable.

......

I remember the clothes you raised when you were riding a bicycle, and the way you laughed under the camphor tree, clean and clear, with bright amber eyes, and shallow dimples when you smiled.

"I love you."

April 10