Zheng Wang

Guan Zan spent all three days of the Ching Ming Festival holiday in the hospital.Yuan Xin's condition is not very good, and her body is weak. Not only did her old illness recur, but she also caught a cold, which induced pneumonia, and she remained in a semi-comatose state with a low fever for a week.

After school started, Guan Zan had to go back to school to participate in the joint practice of the folk orchestra. The performance in Shanghai was scheduled for the May Day holiday. According to the past, he had to go there one week in advance to adapt to the venue.

However, he still put part of his mind on his mother. When he had no piano lessons, he would go to the hospital whenever he was free in the evening, and he could spend as long as he could with her.Yuan Xin's leaving the hospital without authorization this time gave Guan Zan a warning. He was still young, and Yuan Xin was only middle-aged. He always thought that his mother would never leave, but this time, the more he thought about it, the more afraid he became.Yuan Xin can go, she is even more fragile than others, any accident in those few hours, no matter how big or small, may be fatal to the frail mental patients.

Guan Zan was really scared.

There will be two growths in a person's life, one is to learn to love others, and the other is when parents pass away.

The latter point is more profound for the only child.Because when that day comes, the unspeakable bond of blood will be very clear, and many people even feel it for the first time in their lives—the last person in this world who is connected with you by blood is finally leaving.

Guan Yuwen left early, Guan Zan didn't have deep feelings for him, but Yuan Xin was different.During the ten years he lived under the Yuan family's dependents, he received all beatings and scolding, endured humiliation, and endured humiliation, in order to allow his mother to have the conditions to receive treatment.

Before I knew it, another weekend came, and Guan Zan went to piano lessons at night.

Xia Mingxi felt that the students were a little out of shape during this time. Considering that they were absent from class during the Ching Ming Festival, he took advantage of the break to insinuate and care.

Weekend classes are scheduled on Saturday afternoons, which will be two hours longer than weekdays, so there will be a break in the middle.Guan Zan hugged Sola and sat in the corner of the sofa. He was startled when he heard the words, and after a while, he replied lightly: "My mother is sick."

In the world of human relations, birth, old age, sickness and death are the most difficult to comfort, and it is also the most difficult for outsiders to intervene.

Looking at Guan Zan's reaction, Xia Mingxi felt that the situation should be serious, and it would be useless to say more, so he casually comforted him, thinking that he would ask Ke Jinxi about the situation later, and if he was hospitalized, he would go and have a look. A word of "don't worry".

It was only in the evening that he left Teacher Xia's house, and there were still several hours before the end of the hospital's visiting hours. Guan Zan originally planned to go to the hospital to accompany Yuan Xin, but he received a call from Xu Zhendong as soon as he left the house.It turned out that Ke Su had decided to have a physical examination today, but he had to go back to Xishan early because he had something to do. The hospital was only accompanied by the driver. He asked Guan Zan if he could go to see the old man and bring back the test results by the way.

Guan Zan thought that he hadn't seen Ke Su for almost three months, so he should be a filial piety, so he agreed and took a taxi to the Central Hospital.

When he arrived, the old man had finished the examination and was resting on the bed in the cadre ward.The attending doctor stood by and asked about some details and habits of life.Ke Su was the most tired of these doctors, who asked questions about eating, drinking and teasing, so his face was not good-looking, and his answers were very perfunctory.

Guan Zan met the driver at the door of the ward, greeted him, and then knocked on the door.

Ke Su knew that the little apprentice would come, and when he heard the knock on the door, he immediately changed his face, and looked at the door expectantly.

The eyes of the two met through the glass, Guan Zan rolled his eyes with a smile, pushed open the door and said, "Teacher, I'm here." Then he looked at the doctor and said, "Hello."

"It's almost here." The attending doctor said with a smile, "I'm afraid that if you are late, the old man will get impatient and throw me out again in a fit of anger."

Guan Zan looked at Ke Su when he heard the words, and finally looked at the doctor again, and said jokingly, "No, my teacher has a good temper, and I will definitely follow the doctor's advice."

Ke Su cleared his throat with a cough, and immediately hid his impatience like a child, and asked, "How about the piano teacher Jinxi found?"

Guan Zan went over to straighten his collar, picked up his coat and put it on the old man, and replied: "It's very good, I have good piano skills and patience, and I don't dislike me, an over-age beginner."

Ke Su nodded, seemingly quite satisfied: "I heard that she is a junior from her undergraduate degree. Later, she studied abroad for further study and developed well outside. She only returned to China in recent years." Ke Su didn't care about anything other than folk music. , so I can't call Xia Mingxi's name, but I roughly know that there is such a person.He said again: "At first I was thinking that if it doesn't work, I can change it to a better one. Now that you like it, it should be him."

Guan Zan laughed beside him, thinking, Teacher Xia is so powerful that he doesn't accept students at all. If he didn't have a classmate relationship with his senior sister, how could he be his private tutor?

Seeing that the two had almost finished chatting, the attending doctor interrupted at the right time, and said to Guan Zan, "Since the family members have arrived, Mr. Ke should rest first, and I will talk about the results of the examination separately."

After speaking, he turned around to leave, Guan Zan understood and planned to follow.But Ke Su suddenly spoke and stopped the two of them together.

"Wait." Ke Su said, "I'm just saying here, I've been in your hospital for several years, and I don't even know what's wrong with my old bone, so I want to hear it together."

After he finished speaking, the two looked at each other calmly.

Guan Zan knew about the teacher's physical problems. If there were not many problems, Xu Zhendong didn't need to call someone over to listen to the doctor's orders.Ke Jinrui also mentioned when he first entered Ke's house in the middle of the year that the whole family was deliberately concealing the Alzheimer's matter, just because they were worried that Ke Su would cause unnecessary trouble if he knew about it.

At this point, the doctors and nurses that the hospital will directly contact have also been greeted by the Ke family to ensure that there is no leakage.

The attending doctor has rich experience in dealing with this, so he adjusted quickly, flipped through the medical records and said, "The old man is in good condition. This time, there is nothing wrong with the heart examination, and the blood pressure and blood lipids are also normal. It is just a little osteoporosis, but after all, he is old. If you are older, you will have this problem, just go back and replenish calcium.”

Ke Su asked, "Is there anything else?"

The attending doctor was very patient. Hearing this, he closed the case and asked with concern, "Ke always feels uncomfortable in other places?"

Ke Su was silent for a moment, then said, "Why don't you mention my dementia?"

As soon as these words came out, the attending doctor and Guan Zan were both stunned.

"Don't let the children talk about it?" Ke Su smiled, "But I know my body well. I can't remember things clearly, remember the wrong person, I can't remember the past, and the present is often confused. I probably looked it up. You know what's wrong with you, and you still use all your efforts to hide it?"

"Teacher." Guan Zan walked over and sat down next to him, obediently took Ke Su's arm, and comforted him, "It's for your own good, I'm afraid you will be anxious after you know."

Ke Su stared at him for a moment, then turned to the doctor and said, "You go out first, I want to talk to the apprentice alone."

The attending doctor nodded to express his understanding, and left the ward according to his words, and closed the door tightly.

Ke Su breathed a sigh of relief.

Facing Guan Zan alone, he had thousands of words in his heart, and every sentence was stabbed, making him breathless.The older you get, the more emotional you become. It seems that you have reached the age when you can see everything, but if you have a small lump in your heart, if you can't solve it or make it right, it will be blocked for half your life, and you will hold your breath until you die. go down.

Guan Zan noticed that his eyes were red, thinking that he was troubled by illness and felt uncomfortable.He quickly reached out to wipe Ke Su's tears, and said, "Teacher, don't worry too much. Just relax. If you are sick, there will be a cure. You see, we haven't known each other for less than a year. It doesn't matter how well you remember me." Forget it?"

Ke Su stared at Guan Zan's shiny black eyes, but he thought of the piano score with his name on it.

"Actually, I knew I was sick a long time ago." Ke Su held Guan Zan's hand, protected it with his cold and loose palm, stroked the soft fingers of the little apprentice with his fingers, and rubbed the new calluses on his fingertips. The more he touched, the more he couldn't bear it. , unwilling to let go, my heart hurts.

"The teacher has enough in his life. He is famous, has status, and has recognized achievements. The students I have taught are all outstanding, and they continue to spread their branches and leaves to train new people for the industry. I said that I am full of peaches and plums. It should be Is it not an exaggeration?"

Before Guan Zan could answer, Ke Suwu continued, "Now that I'm old, I can't worry about so many things. I don't care about fame and wealth, and I just think that the children can be well."

"My two children are not obedient, and they don't know how to start a family when they are on the fourth floor. I used to nagging them all, and they were annoying, but then I stopped talking." Ke Su cried, and wiped his hands indiscriminately. "I can't control the child anymore, but no matter how much they mess around, even if there are tens of millions of people pointing fingers in this world, it is impossible for me, a father, to do that one-ten-millionth .”

Guan Zan's heart trembled uncontrollably, and he could hear Ke Su talking about his young son.He thought he didn't know, so he said it very cryptically, but Guan Zan knew everything, and it was even more touching after hearing it. On the one hand, he vaguely felt the difficulty of being a parent, and on the other hand, he also felt that he had failed the teacher's care.

"And you..." Ke Su's thoughts were confused, he thought of what to say, he patted the back of Guan Zan's hand, and there was an unspeakable regret between the lines, "You are still so young and haven't formally entered the industry. I'm afraid I won't be able to wait until that day, and I won't be able to see you through the last part of the journey, so I will..." Ke Su sobbed softly, "I'll be confused first!"

Guan Zan felt uncomfortable, and felt an uncomfortable soreness stuck in his throat, unable to go up or down.

Ke Su cried and said, "One is you, and the other is Jinrui."

"Don't look at me always scolding him, I scold him... that's... because... I don't want to forget him!"

……

That night, Guan Zan asked the driver to take them to Ke Jinrui's apartment.

The master and apprentice hadn't practiced the piano together for a long time, and Ke Su wanted to listen to it, so he decided to stay in the city for one night and return to Xishan tomorrow morning.Guan Zan's thoughts were complicated and his heart was full of things.But the sound of the piano was not affected by emotions, on the contrary, it was quieter and more mature than before.

For more than three hours, Guan Zan played the pieces he had learned since the beginning of school from beginning to end. Among them, Ke Su's favorite pieces were played a few more times.

After nine o'clock, Guan Zan waited for the teacher to fall asleep, but he himself suffered from insomnia.

When the old man came to live, he and Ke Jinrui slept in separate rooms, and they would not do unruly things.Right now Ke Jinrui is working on the first floor, Guan Zan couldn't sleep, so he put on a dressing gown and went downstairs to accompany him.

Guan Zan had too many things on his mind, and his mind was full of Ke Su's sad and tearful appearance. He hated the old man being wronged the most, especially the one he respected and was close to.Ke Jinrui could see that he was in a bad mood, so he deliberately stopped working and sat outside the hanging chair to chat with him.Guan Zan is like an insecure cat, hiding in the box, but stretching out its paws to hold the owner's hand, making sure that he is always there.

It was rare for the two of them to calm down and talk deeply.

Guan Zan felt so sorry for Ke Su that he didn't know how to comfort him afterwards.He recounted the conversation in the hospital in the afternoon. Ke Jinrui is a good listener, silent and serious. He will not interrupt, but gently strokes Guan Zan's hand, telling him in this way that I am listening. , you continue talking.

Finally, after Guan Zan finished speaking, he looked at Ke Jinrui with red eyes.

The man was still very silent, with a sense of distance, as if the person in the description didn't have much connection with him.But the intuitive feeling is not so indifferent. Perhaps it is more appropriate to say that it is rational.

Guan Zan is an emotional person, first Yuan Xin and then Ke Su, now family love is paramount in his heart, there is nothing that cannot be forgiven.So even though he knew that he had no right to intervene in this matter, he still vaguely felt that Ke Jinrui's attitude was wrong.

"Do you think I'm not good enough for him?" Ke Jinrui asked.

Guan Zan was noncommittal and did not speak.

Ke Jinrui still knew him well, and understood what silence meant at this moment.He himself is a person who seldom reveals his emotions, and he has never mentioned family matters to others, and he did not expect Guan Zan to be an exception.

"Zan-Zan, you have to know that everyone has a different way of dealing with problems. Now that the old man is sick, it is still such an incurable disease. When a person is about to die, he will inevitably have some reflections. Looking back on his life, think about what is not satisfactory and what is wrong with him. There is still time to make up for it, my dad is in this state."

"You asked me what I think, to be honest, I think what he is doing now is right."

"You said whether there is a gap between me and him, the answer must be yes. I don't want to mention what happened back then, anyway, it's been so long. People with blood relationship usually can't solve the problem and can't tell the difference. Right and wrong, an apology means nothing to either of us."

"I came out, he beat me, and then I didn't communicate with each other for a few years. Later, the old man had a heart attack and was hospitalized. I received the news and went home. Everything was over. He is still my father, and I am still his son. , who is right and who is wrong, does it matter?"

Ke Jinrui smiled, took a cigarette and lit it, and said with a smile while smoking: "He scolded me so that he would not forget me. To be honest, I was surprised to hear it. But compared to this, I have been obedient to his old man for so many years." Baishun, if he doesn't retaliate when he scolds, he is actually making up for his willfulness when he came out of the closet and left home."

"Zan-Zan, do you understand the relationship between us now?"