too embarrassing

"As long as I still love you, nothing else matters. Please look back and appreciate me as a shepherd."

--"rumor"

Guifenin: "Hi."

Niu Keqing: "Hi."

Guyvernin: "Sit."

Niu Keqing: "Yes."

"..."

Two people face each other, like a still picture, their respective hearts are tense, and the atmosphere is a little awkward.

Compared with the last time we met, Niu Keqing has cleaned himself up. He has shaved off his beard and trimmed his hair. He also has a new pair of thin-rimmed glasses on his naturally elegant face. It's gentle.

This afternoon, he arrived at the coffee shop on time, and as soon as he arrived, he saw Guifenin sitting by the window with a glass of plain water in front of him.

The man had obviously been well-dressed, his light-colored hair was shining softly, his facial features were extremely deep, and his profile was astonishingly perfect, especially those blue eyes, like two glass beads embedded in the eye sockets.

"Plop", "Plop", Niu Keqing's heart skipped a beat. After all, he is someone he likes, and he will still be moved when he sees him.

He can quite understand the crazy self a year ago. Who can fall in love with such a good-looking mixed-race handsome guy and not go crazy?It's still a good job, and it's normal to want to privatize it.

Niu Keqing opened the chair and sat down, and asked, "Did you arrive early?"

"No, I just arrived too," said Doctor Gu, who had already drank his third glass of water and arrived an hour earlier.

He looked extremely calm, but the eyes that trembled like the wind blowing the lake betrayed him. In fact, he was very nervous, and his fingers under the table were stirring up and down, wrinkling the fabric of his trousers.

Like a guy trying his best to maintain his image in front of his favorite blind date.

A waiter served two cups of coffee, which were steaming and smelled like coffee beans mixed with caramelized milk.

Niu Keqing was a little surprised, "What did you order for me?"

Gu Yifenen smiled: "Well, you can drink it as soon as you come."

He knew that Niu Keqing was a punctual person, so he ordered the coffee 15 minutes before the other party arrived, and he clearly remembered the other party's taste.

"Thank you," Niu Keqing moved his nose and sniffed it twice. It was very fragrant, and he thought it would be the smell he liked.

Guifenin was as considerate as possible, and said awkwardly: "It's a bit sweet, I ordered you some hot food, because I'm afraid you'll be cold... I'm talking nonsense again, of course you have to drink hot food in winter."

Because of his nervousness, his hand holding the cup was shaking all the time. When he brought it to his mouth to drink, he accidentally cracked his front teeth, which made Niu Keqing, the dentist, frown violently.

"..."

His hands turned into small electric motors. Dr. Gu was afraid of pouring the coffee on himself, so he put down the cup in embarrassment, and forced himself to hold his respect: "...it's hot, I'll drink it later."

This kind of him doesn't look like a man in his 30s at all, but like a high school student who is just in love, facing his first love's heartbeat, but clumsy and at a loss.

He used to be a fisherman with great skills and emotional intelligence, and he could catch a prey casually, but now, those easy-to-handle methods and calm emotional intelligence are a pair of bulls——

All invalid.

Dr. Niu breathed out his heat, took a sip from his own cup, the sweetness was moderate, and his whole body was warmed after drinking it.

He casually boasted, "It's delicious."

"Then, I'll give you this cup too," Guifenin bit his lips and smiled, pushing his own coffee to the other side.

If he had a big fluffy tail, he would definitely fly up at this moment, and the hairs that fell out would turn into dandelions all over the sky.

"No, no, no," Niu Keqing was startled and flattered, "You don't have to be so polite with me."

Guifenin restrained himself a little.He paused for a few seconds before adding, "I'm not being polite."

How could he be polite.

He just wants to use good things to please the person he likes, and he will give whatever the other party says he likes.

"Why do you keep laughing at me?" Niu Keqing blushed.

"It's nothing." Guifenin raised his glasses, unable to put down the corners of his mouth, "I'm in a good mood today."

Being able to sit with the person he likes, chatting and laughing, this is what he has been looking forward to for so many days and nights, and it is difficult to hold back his displeasure for seven days and seven nights.

What's more, Dr. Niu is really good-looking, and his heart will be bright after watching it for a long time.

Niu Keqing covered his forehead with his hands, and the corners of his mouth turned up, "Okay, stop laughing, I'm going to be infected by you."

Gu Yvening forcibly retrieved some gentleness, and said solemnly: "Doctor Niu, tell me about your life this past year."

Niu Keqing then told him about the days he spent in Tibet this year.

The tone of the man's speech was very light, neither sullen nor dry, and his temperament was precipitated to be more stable, with a kind of awe-inspiring power.

Guifenin kept staring at him, unable to leave his eyes for a moment, almost greedy.

He felt that the cow was much thinner after returning, like a person cut out of a green bamboo.Those eyes seemed to have been illuminated by the sun, and became clearer, and the whole person was transparent from the inside out.

——Like a snow lotus on the plateau.

After Niu Keqing finished speaking, he asked him: "How about you? How are you doing?"

"I...have nothing to say," Guifenin revealed a bit of sadness between his brows, "My life is ordinary."

He said in his heart: It is very painful, I have lived a very painful life.

The waiting time was too painful, and he had the most difficult year.Self-blame, longing, and not being able to love, clogging his heart like dirt, is the most severe and cruel punishment.

Time flooded into my mind, and Dr. Gu gradually became depressed: "I have often thought in this year that the way of knowing may be a very important thing. If the way of knowing me and you is different, then our story will be different. Won't there be a different development?"

Niu Keqing put down the coffee cup and looked at him quietly with clear eyes.

The sunlight by the window hit his side face, giving off a faint halo, and even the fine hairs on his face were clearly visible, soft and serene.

"Sounds great," Niu Keqing thoughtfully, "If we didn't meet in that way, but met as colleagues, or met by chance..."

Guifenin took his words: "Then we can slowly understand each other, get to know each other, occasionally have some ambiguity and romance, and naturally, we will become a couple who love each other deeply."

In the past, they got along as friends with benefits, flying together like two birds without feet, just to relieve loneliness and seek excitement.

But if they just met in a normal way, and then gradually discovered the compatibility of each other's souls...

Niu Keqing seemed to have heard a daydream, and said with emotion: "Imagination is really a beautiful thing, and all the regrets in the past can be made up for by relying on brain supplementation."

What can be imagined is only imagination after all.

"Keqing, I want to do it all over again with you," Gu Yifenen said to him seriously, "We can start as friends."

Niu Keqing stared at him for a long time, and finally just smiled and said: "I don't lack a friend like you."

His micro-expression could not escape the other party's eyes, and Gu Yifenen knew that his heart was like a mirror, so he didn't go around the corner: "You can always know what I'm thinking, can't you?"

"You've poured out all your bad stuff," Niu Keqing teased the other party mercilessly: "Goodbye is also a friend? This way is outdated."

Everyone is a smart person, and he doesn't believe how pure the other's mind can be.

You come and talk to each other just to avoid embarrassment, but in fact, each other knows clearly: even if they become a pair of good friends who talk about everything, it is only superficial.

As long as their hearts are still moved by each other, they cannot become true friends.

"Yes," Guifenin admitted bluntly, "I don't want to be friends with you at all, I just want to use the guise of 'friend' to slowly get closer to you and get closer to you."

He paused, as if mustering up his courage, and said, "Pursue you."

The trick of being close to the water and towers couldn't be more effective.

Niu Keqing was stunned for a moment, his eyes widened slightly, it could be seen that he was surprised, but this kind of surprise was not to the extent of shock, it was just a small accident.

After a while, he smiled softly and said, "You have changed."

The man he knew would never say these things about love, but he still said them in such a sincere and clean tone.

Gu Yifening is indeed different. During the time when Niu Keqing left, he understood a lot of things, and all the confusion and anxiety disappeared in an instant, leaving only longing and deep love.

Such a him has long been different from the past.

He looked at Niu Keqing and smiled: "You have changed too, we have all changed."

It's only been a year, but they have already gained a lot of experience in their hearts, and they have all reached a reconciliation with their past selves.

Niu Keqing recalled the past, and suddenly felt a little emotional, "You said that people are fickle. Once you have experience, you can't stay the same. You can't just grow old without long experience."

"Since we are all brand new, then... can we have a brand new start?" Dr. Gu said, "I want to pursue you, can I?"

Niu Keqing didn't make any tweaks, and said without hesitation: "Yes, anyone is welcome."

In fact, he didn't know whether the other party was just a whim or if there was indeed a liking for him in his heart, what's more, how much was this liking?For this point, he seems to lack enough courage to ask.

His answer surprised the other party. There was a gleam of hope in the man's blue eyes, which was a spark that could start a prairie fire. "Really?"

"Really," Niu Keqing said generously, "because I still have feelings for you."

If these words were placed in the past, he would definitely have to be hypocritical to say them to death, but now, he said them calmly.

Because his false politeness and prudence have disappeared, and now he is very real in every aspect, not afraid to admit that he still has liking, dare to reveal his love and hate, and can express himself openly.

The sudden surprise bombarded the other party's heart, Doctor Gu was almost ecstatic, "You, you mean, you still like me?!"

I thought it was a single arrow, but I didn't expect it to be a double arrow. Happiness came so suddenly that he almost jumped on the table and performed a courtship dance.

"But—" Niu Keqing frowned and turned around suddenly.

"but what?"

"I like you now, but it doesn't mean that I will like you in the future, and it doesn't mean that I will only like you," Niu Keqing said seriously, not joking at all.

"What do you mean?" Doctor Gu, who had just gotten excited, froze, his pupils trembling violently: "...Why do I smell a scumbag?"

Niu Keqing laughed out loud, deliberately teasing him, "Isn't this normal, maybe there will be a more handsome one tomorrow, and my handsome dog will not be able to stand it."

Doctor Gu's handsome face was embarrassing like a pumpkin. He stretched out a slender finger, and wiped the back of Niu Keqing's hand flatteringly, "Just to discuss, don't fall in love with others."

"It's not certain," Niu Keqing pretended to be deep in thought, "I can also open that software to see if I can make an appointment this time, and whether it will be the same as last time. Wang Ba's grandson."

"Niu Keqing, you are so good!" Gu Yifening was so choked by him that he spit out his coffee and almost slapped the table, but he didn't dare to reply, so he had to endure it, "...you really have become handsome."

"I was pretty handsome."

Dr. Gu thought for a while, and suddenly asked, "If there really was someone more handsome than me chasing you, would you move on?"

Niu Keqing smiled slightly.

How could he empathize with others? If he could do it, it wouldn't be so painful before.

But he was neither humble nor overbearing, full of confidence, "I still have quite a lot of people chasing me. If Dr. Gu wants to chase me, he has to work harder. I'm quite a scumbag, and I won't let you easily chase me."

"Don't talk too much," Guifenin narrowed his eyes and tapped his five fingers on the table like waves, "We'll see."

Niu Keqing twitched his lips, "Let the horse come here."

A game of chasing and chasing started again, and Guifenin's eyes were unprecedentedly determined, as if saying an oath: "I will definitely do my best to pursue you."

He wants to pursue Niu Keqing, pursue this man as a part of his life, as a part of his soul, until he can never be separated again.

Niu Keqing moved his fingertips on the opponent's palm, and said with an ambiguous smile: "Then ask Dr. Gu to use all his heart and let me feel what it's like to be chased."

"Okay," Guifenin put his palms together, grabbed his fingertips, put them to his lips and kissed him lightly.

Love is a gradual process. Those who fall in love first will naturally suffer, but those who fall in love later will also have to give equal sacrifices.

Someone once missed someone he liked because of inferiority and arrogance.But fortunately, the person he loves is still willing to turn around and give him a chance with a smile.