almost lonely

Painful and at the same time starting to numb as if poisoned.Seeing that he didn't respond, Xu Ye grabbed his hand and shook it gently: "Aren't you awake?" Ning Juechen came back to his senses, a sudden sharp pain in his head, but it passed quickly.

Sister Zhou helped cook a few dishes today, and with the cooked food bought by Xu Ye, the shrunken small table on the hospital bed couldn't fit it.Xu Ye placed the cake in the middle and inserted two number candles, one 2 and one 7.Ning Juechen pulled out both sticks silently, inserted 3 and 4 in, pinched 2 and 7 in his hands, and dipped his hand in cream.Xu Ye lit a candle and grabbed Ning Juechen's hand, wrapping his clenched fist in his palm: "Make a wish, Chenchen!"

The swaying and dancing candles reflected Ning Juechen's face. He had hardly celebrated his birthday so grandly, so even making a wish seemed strange and clumsy. He just said softly, softly: "My wish is to get better soon."

After he finished speaking, he didn't blow out the candles, but asked something he hadn't asked all this time: "Do they think I'm a trouble, so they don't want to take care of me?" It was completely blank for a while, and after realizing it, he quickly denied it: "Don't think about it, I snatched you!"

"Brother Yi, you don't have to say this to take care of my mood. I've wanted to say it a long time ago. It's okay, I understand." Ning Juechen forced a smile, "I'll trouble you for so long, I will definitely do my rehabilitation. Try to hurry up, it won't drag you too long."

Xu Ye has experienced many heartbreaking moments: the day of the car accident, the day of the first ICU visit, the day that Ning Juechen became a vegetative state, the day when he learned that the two brothers had swapped souls, the day that Ning Juechen disappeared ...Every time he thought he had reached his limit, only then did he realize that there was something more painful and desperate ahead, such as Ning Juechen's smile.

—— Ning Juechen is so sure, so sure that Xu Ye doesn't love him!Whether it was seven years ago or seven years later, nothing has changed.

"Ning Juechen, you can't treat me like this..." Xu Ye's grievance, guilt, remorse, and anger burst out all at once, almost tearing him into pieces, "Every day I tell myself to hold on, hold on You will be back tomorrow. So many tomorrows have passed, I have been waiting for you for a long time. Don't say such things again, please..." The candle was half burned, and the colored wax dripped down on the white cream of the cake , merged into two lumps of abrupt color blocks.

You don't need me, but I need you, I can't do without you.

That night Xu Ye squeezed into the hospital bed like a child with a temper, lay beside Ning Juechen and hugged him tightly. Ning Juechen said that he wanted to go back to Jingcheng.

33 Thank you for finding me

Their story begins and ends in Jingcheng.Sometimes Xu Ye would foolishly think: If Ning Juechen hadn't been let go back to Jingcheng to attend some engagement banquet, wouldn't everything have happened?Those six months had exhausted all his nostalgia for that city, he didn't want to go back, and he didn't want Ning Juechen to go back, so he reasoned that at least you had to wait until your health recovered.

By the end of the spring of the second year, Ning Juechen was basically able to take care of himself, and when he proposed it again, Xu Ye had no reason to refuse.On the second day after being discharged from the hospital, Ning Juechen bought a ticket and got on the train to Jingcheng alone.

Jingcheng has changed a lot, and the station in the east of the city is also newly built. It was just put into use the year before last, and it is very spectacular and beautiful.Ning Juechen turned around to find a place to take a taxi. While queuing up, he sent a message back to Xu Ye, saying that he had arrived.Xu Ye immediately chased after the phone: "Are you tired? Just sit for a while before leaving." Ning Juechen rested against the railing and said, "It's okay."

In the evening, the taxi took him through the strange streets and alleys, and stopped at the gate of the strange community. He found the strange building and the strange house number, and tremblingly pressed the doorbell.A woman's voice came from inside: "Who is it? Wait a minute, we'll be here soon!" Then there were hurried footsteps and the sound of unlocking.The woman pushed open the door: "Who..." The following words were abruptly cut off.

Ning Juechen looked at the woman in front of him, at her sporadic white hair, at the wrinkles on her forehead and at the corners of her eyes, at her withered cheeks, at her withered fingers, and felt that she was much older than before.Ning Juechen bit his lip, but still couldn't say that title, and finally he could only hold back four abrupt words: "Long time no see."

Chen Yuhong's face turned pale in an instant, and the white porcelain bowl she held in her hand fell and shattered with a bang, and the pounded egg liquid dripped all over the floor wet and sticky.Ning Juechen bent down and picked up the egg beater and handed it to her, smiling gently: "I just came back to take a look."

There were five or six dishes on the table, and lotus root pork rib soup was still boiling on the pot. Ning Juechen asked, "Is there any guest coming?" Chen Yuhong still looked like he had seen a ghost, and said tremblingly, "No, it's the weekend. , Lanlan came over to have dinner tonight." "Brother, is he married?" "...um." "Have you become a father?" "Well, twin sons, four and a half years old."

"It's so fast, it seems like I was still on my way to the engagement banquet yesterday, obviously I just fell asleep." Ning Juechen muttered to himself, with a childish aggrieved flash in his eyes, that kind of feeling that he was bullied and I don't know who to turn to, so I can only live alone and feel aggrieved, "Although I don't say it, I actually envy my brother. I secretly thought before, why can't it be me? Why is it not me who stays?" Is it because I was naughty when I was a child, so you don't like me? Or is it because you flipped a coin to make a decision, and it happened to be my side?" Chen Yuhong froze, tears streaming down her face.

The sound of the door opening was heard outside, Ning Juechen turned around and saw a man walking in, holding a little boy in overalls with one hand: "Mom, why don't you wipe the things on the floor at the door, you will fall if you step on it! And Xiaoya said that she will come later, the company has something to do..." Lu Juelan raised her head and met Ning Juechen's eyes.He frowned and said in a low voice: "Mom, take Haohao and Minmin to the back room to play."

Lu Juelan has a very cool short haircut and is wearing a casual suit. He is a very handsome and sunny young father; Ning Juechen has long bangs to cover the scar on his forehead, almost covering his eyes, pale and weak like a shadow .If they used to have a nine-point resemblance, now they are at most six or seven points, but they are still alike after all.Two little boys ran over wearing slippers, looked up at him curiously, and said childishly, "You and Dad look alike! Who are you?"

Ning Juechen shook his head, who is he? —he is nobody.

Lu Juelan originally thought that he would never see this younger brother again in his life, so he didn't know what to say for a while, but asked mechanically: "When did you wake up? Are you all well?" "Last year." Ning Juechen also Answered mechanically, and then stated the purpose of his visit this time, "I want to ask, did something happen after the car accident?" Lu Juelan's temples twitched suddenly: "...you don't remember?"

Ning Juechen saw that his expression changed several times in an instant, and finally he was convinced that his conjecture was correct. The clips, sounds and pictures that flashed in his mind were never dreams, they were all real. "Is it related to Brother Yi?" After asking, Ning Juechen realized that his palms were full of sweat. He didn't know whether he was nervous or afraid. He wanted an answer, but was afraid of hearing it.

"Forget it, it's good, don't think about it." Lu Juelan frowned and lit a cigarette, "Are you still with Xu Ye?"

Ning Juechen didn't know what kind of "together" he said "together". In fact, he and Xu Ye had never been "together" for so many years, and they had never been lovers for even a day.But there is no need for Lu Juelan to know these, so Ning Juechen just nodded.

Lu Juelan was silent for a while, and asked without thinking: "Is he okay?" Ning Juechen was taken aback for a moment: "What's wrong with him?" Lu Juelan paused: "He came to you six years ago I asked what was going on, but he refused to say anything." "Six years ago?" Ning Juechen's mind became even more chaotic. According to Xu Ye, he slept for seven and a half years. Including the six months after waking up, it should be eight years.

"He disappeared for a long time, and we all thought he would never come back. Until two years later, he showed up and said he wanted to pick you up." Lu Juelan took a puff of cigarette, but hesitated to speak.He wanted to say that Xu Ye really loves you to the point of madness, but he couldn't say it out. He should feel disgusted by perverts. He doesn't believe in love between men, and he refuses to admit that he is This emotion is moving.

The door of the inner room was suddenly opened, and two little boys squeezed through the crack of the door.One said: "Father, when can we eat? Haohao is hungry!" The other with a rounder face puffed up his hips: "Obviously my brother is hungry! Haohao is not hungry!"

Take a closer look at these two children, only their mouths resemble Lu Juelan's, and their noses and eyes are more like... Lu Juelan's ex-girlfriend?Ning Juechen felt that his idea was very strange. He had only met that person once, and he didn't even know the name of the other person, and he didn't know whether the current sister-in-law was the same one back then.

Lu Juelan separated the noisy two children, and suddenly said: "Actually, when I looked at them, I thought about it, if we grew up together like this..." Ning Juechen smiled lightly, as if in a short Another life flew by in a few seconds: "That won't bother you, I'll go first."

Chen Yuhong