Turn around

This semester of Lin Sen's sophomore year was not a good one. He didn't tell Si Lan that he had read the diary, and the diary was locked again and stored more secretly.Logically speaking, this kind of thing should be burned down, but for some reason, Lin Sen clamored in his heart to keep them. This is an emotion called "reluctance".

After school started, Si Lan's phone calls and text messages never stopped, but the two who went to school in the same city hadn't met each other. Si Lan didn't mention it, and Lin Sen couldn't ask him out.

Sometimes, Si Lan's normal behavior on the phone gave Lin Sen another impulse. Impulsively, he wanted to tug at Si Lan's collar and ask him, the one in the diary who loved me more than anything else, for my sake Is the person who dreams of giving up his life, is it you, is it you?

But Lin Sen couldn't ask, because he clearly remembered that Si Lan had said that he had had enough, that he was going to give up and forget about it.

So, he really doesn't care anymore, he doesn't love her anymore.

Obviously it was something to be thankful for, it was a wise choice for both Si Lan and himself, but Lin Sen was not only not at ease, but rather panicked.Now, he finally understands what suffering is, and he is constantly entangled with his brother's mind and his own.

Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, Lin Sen's professional grades soared a lot this semester, and by the end of the semester, he had become the tutor's assistant, giving invited lectures and participating in performances with the tutor.On the final report card, the instructor gave a comment, saying that Lin Sen "finally injected human emotion into the pure technique, which belongs to the emotion of an artist." Lin Sen stared at the comment for a long time, showing a wry smile .

Lin Sen had a holiday earlier than Si Lan, and after packing his things, Lin Sen made up his mind to see Si Lan.He didn't know what kind of thinking he had in making this decision, but the purpose of going here was clear: to see Si Lan and find out if he had really let go.

Is it true that he doesn't love himself anymore.

However, before leaving the house, Si Lan called. Lin Sen picked it up and said that he was coming, when he heard Si Lan's soft and soft voice saying, "Brother, I have applied for an exchange student at Waseda. I will go there for a year and a half. Brother, hurry up and congratulate me!"

Lin Sen's hand holding the phone stiffened silently, and Si Lan's brisk voice stirred Lin Sen's heart desperately, causing his heart to shrink into a ball.He tried to ask: "When did it happen, why didn't you hear about it before?"

"Ah, I don't want you to worry about me until it's settled. I've taken courses for almost three semesters this semester, and the special quota given by the professor is not my turn for a freshman. I'm so good! I told my dad yesterday. At that time, he was so happy!"

"That's it. Well, you are super powerful." Lin Sen said, his fingers softened, so soft that he almost couldn't hold the phone: "Language barrier, can you do it?"

"Don't worry, I have passed the fourth level of Japanese, and I can apply for a language school in the past."

"How long have you been planning?" Lin Sen asked softly.

There was a slight silence on the other end of the phone, and then, there was still a cheerful voice: "It's been a long time, as soon as you left, I started to make plans."

Lin Sen didn't know what else to say, as his younger brother, he was always very assertive, and he would definitely implement it after making a decision, and often only people around him would know when things were done.I shouldn't have been surprised at all, and I really wanted to be happy for him, but my heart was ruthlessly empty.

"Brother, are you listening? My parents will be here next week, and they will bring me what I need, so I'll go straight from here. There are still many things to do before going abroad, so I won't go home... "

"okay."

"Brother," Si Lan's voice on the opposite side was very small, but suddenly became firm for no reason, "Whether you want to go home first or not, when I leave, you must come to see me off, you must come."

Lin Sen heard himself say: "That's for sure, my younger brother is going abroad, how can a brother not see him off..."

After hanging up the phone, Lin Sen started to unpack the packed luggage. A few days later, his parents flew over, and the family played affectionately for a few days. Si Lan and Lin Sen didn't have a chance to talk alone. He really didn't know what he was going to say when facing Si Lan alone.

The day before Si Lan left, he didn't go back to school, so he stayed in the hotel where his parents lived. His beloved youngest son was going abroad, and the two elders had a lot of things to explain.Lin Sen asked about Si Lan's flight time the next day, jokingly told his parents to leave all the time for the youngest son, and went back to school by himself.

However, the next day, Lin Sen couldn't go to the airport to see him off. A serious car accident happened on the highway. He was stuck in a taxi and stayed at the scene. He said whatever he wanted, but the traffic police at the place where the accident happened didn't allow him to leave.Seeing the time passing by, Lin Sen called Si Lan on the expressway. On the phone, Si Lan didn't ask him why he didn't come. He said, "Brother, I'm leaving." I heard the boarding announcement at the airport on the phone.

Not long after he hung up the phone, his father's reprimanding call came after him. Lin Sen looked at the blue sky above his head and cried.