he summer winter

Why didn't you ask?

Chi Lidong is particularly willing to believe that this is because he is stupid, he is stupid, and because he knows that his EQ and IQ are not as good as Xia Yue's, so he listens to whatever Xia Yue says, and he has no idea that there are many things that need to be done. He tries to understand.

He really wants to believe that this is true.

But he clearly knew that this was not the case.

After leaving the hospital, he drove aimlessly on the road. He didn't know where to go, and he couldn't think of where to go. Unknowingly, he drove the car to the alma mater he shared with Xia Yue. He looked outside the school gate for a long time, but he didn't have the courage go in.

He passed near SOHO again, saw familiar buildings from a distance, and subconsciously turned the steering wheel.Before they separated from Xia Yue last year, they lived here for a few months. In the ten months since Xia Yue left, he never dared to come here again.

After being separated for more than a year, he would rather call the airline one by one to check Xia Yue's flight information, rather than even make a phone call, send a message, or write an email to Xia Yue.

On the day of the reunion in the cake shop, what he should do most is to hug Xia Yue hard and tell Xia Yue that he has been waiting for him, but he didn't have the courage to do that, he just watched Xia Yue go.

He is not that brave.That's the truth of the matter.

It's as if, since he was adolescence, he has had a crush on Wang Qi for more than ten years. He watched Wang Qi get married, watched Wang Qi get divorced, and then watched Wang Qi find true love. He didn't do anything for that secret love. Standing in an unobtrusive corner, I said to Wang Qi again and again, congratulations, congratulations.

It's as if when he met the dazzling Xia Yue when he was young, he couldn't help falling in love with him, but he still had to firmly and constantly hint to himself: You don't, you treat Xia Yue well, and you want him only because he looks like Wang Qi.

When he was 35 years old, Xia Yue, who had been away for 12 years, appeared in front of him, showing love enthusiastically and asking for his response. Harshly seeking proof of his own heart, in the end he was only willing to take such a small step from his emotional safety zone.

He didn't do anything for his love, all he did was wait and be silent, he didn't even have the courage to discover it and admit it.

That's why when he misunderstood that Xia Yue might not love him that much, he didn't dare to ask Xia Yue what happened in these years, whether he had loved others, whether he had fallen into the absurd depravity as others said, Is it true that all displays of love are just revenge?He never dared to ask Xia Yue if he hated him in these years.

He was afraid that the security he was guarding so carefully would be shattered.

Xia Yue did not misjudge him. He stingily handed over his love to Xia Yue because Xia Yue cut himself open first and showed him his heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys bit by bit——Chi Lidong, look Arrived, they all love you.

His cowardice made him deliberately ignore and forget Xia Yue's pain, and only immersed himself in the complacency that Xia Yue loved him so much.He even told Xia Yue himself that he didn't care at all since the past had passed.

He knew a long time ago that he was not good enough for Xia Yue, no matter in terms of face or brain.

Looking at it now, he really can't do anywhere, and Xia Yue is good at everything, but his vision is bad, it's not good to love anyone, he must love such a selfish and cowardly bastard.

After wandering outside for most of the day, he returned home before dusk.

Xia Sinian rushed over to hug his leg, and happily reported: "Grandma drew a very special picture with me today, I like it very much, come and take a look."

He was pulled in by the children, and saw the childish crayon drawing, two adults and one child, the taller adult was him, the shorter one was Xia Yue, and the child was Xia Sinian himself, a family of three holding hands, Walking on a road full of flowers.

He said: "The painting is really good, and I like it very much."

Niannian happily said: "My dad will definitely like it too."

Chi Lidong rubbed Niannian's little head, thinking vaguely that when Xia Yue first became a father a few years ago, he must have gone through the stage of clumsily learning how to be a baby daddy. Did he ever think about it at that time, One day in the future, they can still be together, and be the parents of this child together?

Later, when Xia Yue came back for the first time and "coincidentally met" Chi Lidong in the club where the gay group met, what kind of mood was he in?The reunion after more than ten years of separation, how did he restrain his emotions, and greeted Chi Lidong with a calm and breezy elite look, did he turn his back after saying goodbye and immediately lowered his flying eyebrows and turned into a little girl with red eyes? Pitiful?

When the two of them went back to school together, walking on the uninhabited path on campus, Chi Lidong was lost in the old memories, but what about Xia Yue?Did he think of his 20-year-old self who left school crying while dragging sandbags under the scorching sun?