walk across the bridge of fog

18.

He Ren's stomach was ruined by eating, she couldn't remember the specific suspicious food, she didn't pay attention to what she ate.Anyway, she was lying on the bed later, feeling dizzy, and then the dizziness in the head turned into nausea rising from her stomach.She rushed into the bathroom and vomited round after round, until she vomited out all the gastric juice, and finally felt a little relieved.

He Ren collapsed and lay back on the bed, groggy, unable to wake up and fall asleep.

Duanmu's words in the afternoon hovered in He Ren's drowsy brain, and those past events with Wenxin also came to his mind, like gastric juice just spit out, with a bitter taste.

"Regret, do I regret it?" He Ren asked himself.On what basis does Duanmu judge that Wenxin's love is incomplete?Even selfish?Is it just because of that dream?

Is it because of remorse that made me brood over Wenxin's death?Duanmu's words hinted that hating the perpetrator of the car accident may be due to the reason for passing on his inner anxiety.

If Wenxin, the culprit, would not have died, and Wenxin would not have died, their love would not disappear.If love doesn't disappear, He Ren will be very happy.However, this is an illusory logical chain.Duanmu tried to cut off the middle ring.

In the first diagnosis and treatment, Duanmu already hinted that there seems to be a problem with the causal relationship that He Ren told.Whether it is the exhaustion of He Ren's writing inspiration or the loss of direction in life, it is not due to Wen Xin's death.

Duanmu was right.Wenxin refused to go out to dinner with He Ren, and refused to show her face in public. For this reason, they quarreled, begged, cried, compromised (it was always He Ren's compromise), and repeated this process again and again.

"You don't love me anymore!"

"do you still love me?"

"In order for us to be together for a long time, we have to be patient."

. . . . . .

Wenxin always defeats He Ren with tears and words of sorrow, causing He Ren to give in and compromise.

He Ren has not thought of the quarrel with Wen Xin for a long time, and He Ren feels that all these grievances are nothing compared to death and complete separation.However, Duanmu reminded her of these bitter and humiliating feelings.The old scars were uncovered, and He Ren still felt the pain.

He Ren glanced at the clock, it was almost 12 o'clock again.So she turned on the recording on her phone.

It has become a habit of He Ren to fall asleep listening to the audio recordings of the diagnosis and treatment.Duanmu's voice is sensible but soft, her pronunciation seems to have been trained, and the control of speech rate and volume is just right, which makes people feel at ease.

Soon He Ren fell into a daze, and she began to dream.

He Ren got lost in a maze-like building. She was nervous and scared, and she bumped into walls everywhere.Then she was held by someone, she couldn't see the person clearly, but she heard the voice, it was Duanmu Qian's voice, "I know where the exit is." Duanmu said.Then He Ren was guided by Duanmu to walk on the iron spiral staircase outside a building, and they kept going down and down. . . . . .endless.He Ren panicked.

"Where are you taking me?" He Ren heard himself yelling, sat up from the bed suddenly, and then woke up.

He Ren supported her forehead, she felt dizzy and her heart was beating wildly.She knew why she panicked just now, she guessed in her sleep that Duanmu was going to take her to find Wenxin.No, she doesn't want Wenxin.

The bitter taste came again.

Yes, Wen Xin loves He Ren, but also hurts He Ren.

At the same time, He Ren loves Wenxin and is also afraid of Wenxin.

He Ren collected himself, the phone next to his pillow was still playing the recording.Duanmu's voice was as steady as ever.

"I'm sorry He Ren, I just want to take a look at the scar, and I don't want to inflame your wound." Duanmu said at the end of the diagnosis and treatment.

He Ren likes this metaphor of Duanmu.

He Ren knew that it was unreasonable for her to criticize Duanmu in the afternoon, and she had to be convinced by Duanmu in her heart.And she trusted Duanmu more and more in her heart.

When she was holding Duanmu's hand in her dream, she didn't resist at all, she felt submissive and trusting, even she could feel the temperature of Duanmu's hand.

Yes, He Ren shook Duanmu's hand. From the second consultation, He Ren would take the initiative to shake hands with Duanmu every time he left.She couldn't say why, she justified herself out of politeness.But He Ren knew that women generally do not shake hands, and a more appropriate way is to hug gently.

He Ren didn't dare to hug Duanmu, nor did she dare to hug Duanmu politely, she was afraid that Duanmu would be disgusted, and she was afraid that Duanmu would see through her.So He Ren shook hands with Duanmu and said goodbye.Is that a process of energy transfer?He Ren knew that she liked that handshake very much.The attitude of Duanmu's handshake and speech is the same, soft, but clear, not sloppy, and not vague or perfunctory.

However, He Ren has always been convinced that it would feel better if it was a hug.