There are always authors who commit crimes against the wind

Lu Cangyan felt melancholy.

Before opening his eyes today, his life was obviously still running non-stop towards the bright front.

——On that beautiful yesterday, he didn't need to be called such a stupid name of 24 pure titanium gold who pretended to lose fans and have no friends.

——On that beautiful yesterday, he didn't need to be frightened by a round of "Master Lu Shanzao" as soon as he went out, so he slammed the door and went back.

Lu Cangyan, whose original name is Yun Lan and whose pen name is Lazy Your Girl, is an X-point platinum-ranked ashes writer who lived in the era of building a well-off society in an all-round way.

As a true conscience in the Internet literature industry, Yunlan has dedicated his youth to the construction of the country's Belt and Road, and dedicated his blood to the maintenance of world peace.

He is kind, he is hardworking, he is civilized, and he is proud.He is down-to-earth and hard-working, and he is single-minded and has a breeze in his sleeves.He doesn't ask for anything else, he is simple and unpretentious. His only long-cherished wish in this life is to buy a [-]-square-meter love nest with a loan within Beijing's tenth ring road.

Not only that.

As a representative of a new generation of writers who advocate civilization and establish a new style, he does not cheat or score points.Be respectful to the editor on the top, and treat the readers like parents from the bottom.Every time the article is updated, it will be double-swiped every three months, and the words are sobbing and bloody, which makes readers feel hooked every day after the update, and they are full of praise...

This situation continued until the end of his new book, "Not Crazy".

and then?

Then?Hehe, there is no more!

Now he is in a character in "Not Crazy";

On a character remembered by many readers in "Not Crazy";

In "Not Crazy", a character remembered by many readers because of his strange way of death;

In "Not Crazy", a character who was remembered by many readers because of his strange way of death, who was loved by everyone in the early stage and trampled by people in the later stage, and finally directly developed into a synonym for the new generation of Internet swearing...

The more she thought about it, the more grief she felt from the bottom of her heart. Lu Cangyan couldn't help but look up at the sky at a 45-degree angle, silently thinking about what she did not do well enough.

——It is very common to travel through books these days, and we know that the author is a high-risk occupation!

But!

I understand when you say that there are cheating texts!I understand that there are breaks and changes!I also understand those who write negatively!

But understanding comes and goes, I just haven’t seen one that is so well written that it’s called time travel! ! !

- I'll go!Why is it that I am so perfect, a five-good young man who shoulders the most important human affairs of buying a house, buying a car, and extending generations to future generations, can still do such a substandard thing as wearing books!

...Will never come to a system and tell me to bind me with a shameless face later on!

"...Loading.

The keyword 'dead skin and face' is detected, the system self-starting condition is triggered, and the host is asked to prepare for the pick-up. "

Lu Cangyan: "...Ci'ao really dares to come!"

"—Ding Dong.

The keyword 'really dare to come' is detected, and the system self-inspection is completed.

Welcome to the new version 5.0 text editing system exclusively sponsored by Qingfengjingwang Action. "

Lu Cangyan: "Okay, come on, play it up, if you use it, you will use love to tie it up, and then you will tie it up with labor and management for fear of a kidney!!"

"—Ding Dong.

It is detected that the host has a strong desire to bind the system, and the self-binding will be carried out immediately.

(Note: Binding is deemed as abandoning the return project and accepting the request to change the article. Let us applaud the authors who actively respond to national policies!)”

"……Second-rate……

oh wait...

So you can refuse?Then I..."

"...The plug-in has been downloaded."

"Hey! Wait for me to say..."

"...The decompression is complete."

"I don't even..."

"...The intelligent body starts."

"Just stop for a moment..."

"...The language configuration is complete."

"I actually want to..."

"... Since the update is complete."

"Don't you even have a red cross?"

"...Completely intelligent control is turned on."

"Don't let me explain what I mean..."

"... Finished."

"……I mean……

Yes……

Yes……

...Ci'ao! "

The sound of cursing echoed for a long time, but it didn't matter.

Regardless of Lu Cangyan's expression of being overwhelmed by Xiang, an extremely unbeatable voice came out of his head very quickly:

"—Ding Dong.

Ahaha lazy sister, hello!I am Zhiti No. 12580, you can call me Patch 5.0, I am very happy to serve you Chirp!

...Oh, by the way, what were you trying to say just now? "

Lu Cangyan: "...haha, no more. Some words, it's too late...it's too late."

Patch 5.0 didn't notice the host's mental state at all, so he continued to say happily:

"Oh, since you have nothing to do, please take a look at the user manual of this system... After the decompression package is decompressed, the instructions are called out!"

Before Lu Cangyan could utter any words of rejection, a page of seemingly formal instructions filled his entire field of vision.

So he looked at ten lines with a wooden face.

--------------

Changed Text System Version 5.0 Instruction Manual

Please read the manual carefully and use it under the guidance of Zhiti Patch 5.0

[System common name] Change text system.

[version specification] 5.0.

[Mainly aimed at users] Fantastic writers whose online works contain indescribable aspects.

The indescribable further indescribable: mainly refers to the writing of articles that do not follow the mainstream, and contain a large number of super-class plots, pornographic plots, improper three views, too negative, human nature analysis and other plots.

[Main example] The new article "Not Crazy Demon" under the name of lazy girl.

[Functions and Indications] In order to build a civilized network spiritual home, the research team specially launched this system to assist the author in the comprehensive and advanced revision of the written text, to combat a series of disharmonious factors in the text, to strive to correct the world view, to reform the villains, and to make the full text available in the Internet. The harmonious and beautiful atmosphere came to an end.

This system is controlled by a humanized high-end quantum chip, which can effectively identify the deliberate over-the-top plots that can be completely omitted in the article, and rectify the writing style on the premise of ensuring the logic of the article story is clear.

The author will fully intervene in the plot as a character in the book, and clean and harmonize the story while ensuring that the character's OOC plot is not serious.

For the consideration of humanized design, the author's degree of completion will be displayed on a point system. Every time the author reduces the number of characters in the book who encounter indescribable situations (as shown in the above regulations), they will be rewarded with comfort points according to the severity. When the points When the 100 quota is reached, the author can start the return mechanism and submit the outline to complete the task.

[Note] The system has its own punishment function. If the author's comfort is too low, mechanisms such as restricting the author's character's shell repair and authority may be used for warning processing. Infringement must be investigated), block the full text, and return the Internet to a bright future! ! !

So please do your best.Make a good transformation, start a new life, and strive to return to society as soon as possible! !

--------------

……

... with a dazed face, dull eyes, no donkey on three papers, besieged on all sides, five thunders beating the top, six gods have no master, seven orifices are full of smoke, enemies from all directions, close to death, very collapsed, mixed feelings, once in a thousand years, ten thousand horses are galloping!

Lu Cangyan: "...hehe...I said..."

"No! No refunds or exchanges once sold!"

Lu Cangyan was still immersed in the rolling thunder.Over there, Patch jumped out of the window in an instant, with a look of being too scared to die.

—Scary ass!Who is more frightened! !And how many people have asked for a refund!

Lu Cangyan got angry and closed the pop-up window in his mind.

"...Hey, don't be in a hurry to shut it down, our specific tasks haven't been explained yet..."

turn off.

"(Crying voice) Wait for me to finish...I..."

Close again.

"It's really important! I said..."

History is always strikingly similar, thinking of Lu Cangyan just encountered for no reason, so he got angry, opened the pop-up window and cursed:

"Can you be quiet for a while! Can you remind me of my depressed life!"

Patch was shocked three times by his yelling, and hurriedly shouted: "...hey, don't be angry, don't be angry... let's not be so pessimistic... think about it, as long as we work hard together, we can still ..."

Lu Cangyan was furious: "Fuck! Who wants to be with you!! Besides, what kind of system is this grass mud horse! Banning is a piece of wool!...Ah, right...my "Not Crazy" will be released soon The entity has been blocked, what can I do with my money and my ten rings! ... and the most unbearable...

Why am I the only one who is a counterexample!How many more can you die? "

The window of the system blurred with the extreme emotional instability of the host.Patch 5.0 was so scared that the interface trembled immediately, and even the crying sound was forgotten:

"Big, big, listen to my explanation! It's because your "Not Crazy Demon" was going to be released, and it happened to hit the gunpoint of the Qingfengjingwang team... You must hold back, or a letter will kill you! You, Qian, your ten rings are finished, and my wise and powerful system will be finished with you, ahhh!"

"Shut up! It's you who deserves to be damned!"

Lu Cangyan's eyes darkened, and she was so angry that she wanted to throw this hot chicken thing off the cliff.

"...Don't say that! Anyway, he is also your future steadfast comrade-in-arms... Is it really okay to curse me to death like this?"

Patch 5.0 is wronged.

Lu Cangyan took a deep breath: "...Okay.

You don't die, I die! "

I saw him standing on the edge of the cliff with three strides and two strides like flying, his expression, his posture, depending on the situation, he was really ready to take a leap to relieve his worries at any time!

Patch was dumbfounded, and without hesitation in astonishment: "Daddy, don't be overwhelmed! Nine out of ten things go wrong in life! You will encounter ups and downs in life! Those things in the past will only make you a brighter future. !"

Lu Cang said angrily, "Shut up!"

Patch 5.0 instantly lost the sound.

"……It is quite now?"

So Lu Cangyan looked at the silent Patch 5.0, and finally took a step back and asked numbly.

"... Be quiet, be quiet..." Patch 5.0 answered in a low voice, and also comforted me by the way:

"Life is precious, do you want to think about it..."

"Okay!"

Lu Cangyan smiled happily, and squatted down directly. Under Patch's unbelievable expression, he said kindly:

"But first I have to ask you a question... What's wrong with my "Not Crazy"——

Which bastard didn't want to live and reported labor and capital! "

Seeing Lu Cangyan's aura running wild all over his body, Patch wanted to kneel to him in tears: "Big bang, bang bang, calm down!! This, this, this... No one reported you at all... You will update the full text as soon as you finish it, post it It's already blown up...does this still need to be reported..."

"...Is my writing not good?" Lu Cangyan interrupted Patch filled with righteous indignation, "Is it possible that my bold attempt and innovation in such an unconventional way has not won the support and understanding of the public?"

"That's not the point at all, okay..." Patch cried into a ball, "Although many people, including me, like the magnificence of the big and small full-screen horse racing...but but... your new article is really... indescribable It's..."

"Your sister can't be described!" Lu Cangyan said angrily, "The protagonist Fang Jibai has been oppressed and bullied since he was a child, and the innovative and inspirational story of a blockbuster, what can't be described?"

"Big..." Patch 5.0 cried, "What the hell are you pretending to be stupid... Yes, the protagonist in your novel has been bullied since childhood like other scumbags, but this bullying is too much... Full text [-]/[-] Everyone is abusing..."

"I call it a comprehensive foreshadowing," Lu Cangyan said straightforwardly, confidently, "The caring in the later stage will be more tender and touching, isn't it?"

"But why did the caring girl Bai Yueguang die in the end by the cannon fodder villain?"

Lu Cangyan said: "What**, this has its own shielding effect!! After all, only such ** twists and turns can temper the protagonist's will!!"

"Hehe... This is already scary enough, and the comment section has taken off from the ground, but you actually made it worse, and wrote the heartbroken protagonist who lost his identity and expelled him!!"

"This... Only in this way can we return to the next sect and continue the main line. Do you want to continue the blackening, slapping face and opening the harem?"

"For this line, as long as everyone in the lower sect turned against him, it would be enough! Wow! Why did you ask Lu Cangyan to stab him!! The image of the original mentor was overturned too quickly? I spewed out the code when I saw it at the time! "

Lu Cangyan was really sprayed with a screen of code by Patch wearing a vest, and finally remembered her own situation in anger: "It's not all because of the twists and turns of the plot!! If you really write according to your bullshit requirements, then the article will be cool Where is the speed reflected? Even if I am a stallion writer, I am also a moral stallion writer, okay?"

He gasped for a few breaths, and then complained even more: "I almost forgot if you didn't mention this size, why did you ask me to dress like Lu Cangyan, a cannon fodder? Really wanted to make me die a heroic death for other writers How about killing chickens and monkeys to make an example of others?"

"Hey, you're still pissing me off... You wrote it yourself to tell Lu Cangyan to betray Baibai, and that's why Bai Jiahei flicked to death..." Patch said sadly while eating his hands.

"...Bye bye Baijiahei... Haha... It seems that you are also my 'konjac'... Change roles and change roles! As the author, I absolutely have the right to ask cheating fans to do things! Wearing Lu Cangyan's gown, I can't get the plot right...I'm a writer, not an actor?"

"There's nothing we can do about it..." Patch 5.0 bowed his head and only said, "The author's role in the book is based on the statistics of the official reader survey, and it can't be changed at all..."

Lu Cangyan said angrily, "Wool research?"

Patch 5.0 said: "Who is the character you hate the most in the book "Not Crazy"... Oh, I didn't vote for Lu Cangyan..."

Lu Cangyan: "...hehe, thank you."

Patch 5.0 cheered up: "It's okay, this is my duty..."

Lu Cangyan's face changed with anger: "You are a big-headed ghost! I thank you and your family!"

An aggrieved face instantly appeared on the pop-up window of Patch 5.0.

However, before it could say a few more words to explain, a scrolling warning sign suddenly flashed on the screen.

The red and yellow interlaced golden light combined with the sound effect of the computer crashing couldn't be more low-key.

So the patch instantly revived with full blood on the spot.

"Ahhhh! Big big big big, the plot has started now! I'm still a little excited to see goodbye soon... Ahhh my DSLR, my mobile phone, my Weibo, my Twitter, my What about Facebook... I must... have to..."

...crackling...

Drop, drop, drop...

——What's the matter with this sense of déjà vu of disconnection?

"...Hello?" Lu Cangyan was really not used to the sudden silence, so she knocked on the pop-up window involuntarily.

——Holy shit, no response?

...I won't really go to get the equipment!I'm going to your hot chicken system, what the hell is it to leave me alone!

Thinking of a certain possibility, Lu Cangyan couldn't help but turn pale with shock, and immediately grabbed the pop-up window and shook it up and down again.

This shaking really made him shake something out.

"—Ding Dong.

(The semi-self-service factory settings hosted by the system are successfully turned on)...It is detected that the main character is approaching, and the offline mode is activated, and the host is asked to get ready.

Lu Cangyan: "..."

The author has something to say: Here is the author's own self-respect post~_(:зゝ∠)_

When I wrote the first volume, I was very happy to open a new article, so the style of writing was a bit too escaping and too spit. 233～

Moreover, in order to explain the plot system, there are too many appearances, and the plot direction is too pursuing ups and downs... In short, it is considered thunderous...

But the back is much better!Really much better!Persistence is victory, comrades! ! !