[Journey to the West] Tucao Emperor who was delayed by Buddhism

"Shan Cai No. [-], Shan Cai No. [-], Shan Cai No. [-] calls Shan Cai No. [-]..."

The call that was sent at last fell into the sea, never to be answered again.

I lost him like I lost my name.

Am I his robbery?Wouldn't he be dead without me?I asked the Bodhisattva this way, but I couldn't get an answer.

We share the same name, calling him is like calling me, and sometimes I feel like we are one, no longer separate from each other.But now I'm the only one left, as if a part of my body has been cut off abruptly, the bleeding keeps flowing, I can't stand upright, what's more frightening is the feeling of losing a part of my body, even after the pain has long been numb, there will still be lifting The illusion of the wrist, as if that part is still there, and every time I wake up, my heart hurts.

At first I didn’t like him, I took the same name as him, as if I was a parasitic dendrobium on the tree, attached to his body, seemed to be dependent on others, insignificant, at that time I always hoped that he would die soon, I To replace him, to take the name in its entirety, to be a unique person.

But he is so cute, I am always jealous of sharing everything with him, as if he would take it away, but I still can't help but move closer to him, I know I'm risking something to lose, but I believe The sweetness of snuggling overwhelms this delicate feeling, I feel that I am not alone in this world, I am like a tree, intertwined with its roots, because we have the same name, live and die together, As if he was me.

I was not born alone, but I felt powerless to the world when I was too young, but every time I was with him, it seemed that there was a thin branch supporting me, and I finally knew that I was not alone up.

Whenever someone calls this name, I don't know whether it's him or me, the wall I've built up to hide from others suddenly collapses, and the boundaries blend into one.

I know that he is much stronger than me, and this has nothing to do with his cultivation, it's just that there is extreme fear in his deeply hidden heart.

I never, never, ever want to be alone again.

So after he left, I asked the Bodhisattva over and over again, and I kept asking the answer I couldn't get: "How can a person be wiped out? How can a good person be wiped out? He is a god, he is a practitioner. How could a hundred-year-old immortal be scattered so easily?"

The Bodhisattva looked at me and gave me a cold answer: "Because the soul is a fragile thing."

But I am still not reconciled.

I still refused to stop asking him the same question.

When the glass is broken, it will leave fragments. When the soul of a person is scattered, how can it just disappear?

I stubbornly believe that it will not, it will not be like this.

Finally, I got his answer when I questioned him over and over again.

The Bodhisattva looked at me for a long time, and finally avoided his eyes, as if he was being burned by something, he lowered his head and said to me: "We only said that his soul was scattered and he did not enter reincarnation, but he never mentioned those damaged ones. Where does the soul go. This is the biggest taboo, I tell you, you should never tell others."

I promised him that I would never open my mouth, and he said to me: "Even if a person is a good person, a good god, there is no guarantee that every piece of his soul is good. Therefore, the gods will never take him in." Broken souls, even if they were once loved and kin."

I asked blankly, "Why?"

The Bodhisattva said: "Because of the soul, it won't matter if there is one more piece; but if one piece is missing, even if it is a very small, very small piece, it may fall into the abyss and be lost forever. The key is which piece is missing."

He said it was a secret, a secret that could never be spoken.

But I don't know if he is coaxing me, just like every time they go to coax those children, give them a fairly complete fairy tale, let them sleep in it in the dark night, and only know the whole story when they grow up. Sleeping in the dark all the time, never getting away with it.

But he said to me again: "So, never give up on ghosts."

I really don't understand him more and more.

He likes to say this kind of things that I can't even understand to fool me. Sometimes he speaks so seriously that it is difficult for me to distinguish the truth from the false.

Sometimes I think he is the best person in the world, he is so good-looking, as good-looking as the beauty in the painting, dressed in spotless white clothes, like a lotus out of water.

However, sometimes I suddenly realized that he stood at the junction of light and darkness, with one foot in the bright place, and behind him represented the huge order he supported.

But I don't want to know about all that, I don't care about anything.

I just want my Shancai No. [-] to come back to me, I want to share everything about me with him, and I want to get back my lost name.

So I stubbornly and persistently asked:

How can I get back my lost soul?

If he is scattered, where will he go?

Every piece of his soul has a consciousness of its own, why not come back and see me?

He won't forget me, will he?

After all, he is a part of me.

As if I were a part of him too.

I asked too many, too many questions, and the Bodhisattva couldn't answer them at all.

He ignores me most of the time and only answers a question or two when he's vulnerable.

"Only broken souls can recognize broken souls. Complete souls cannot recognize broken souls. Monsters will recognize each other in the dark, but humans cannot."

"If he is really important to you, important enough to become a part of your life; or if you are so convinced that you are also important to him, then go to him. Call him in a dream, even Tianya will get a response .”

Did he lie to me?

I called him once, and again, and again, and the exhalation disappeared forever, never to be answered again.

It's like a broken thread that never gets a response from the other end.

But there is one exception.

Only once.Of all the calls I have sent in vain, there is but one exception.

I fell into a very deep dream, I called him in that dark and cold dream, and asked him: What does it feel like to die?

At that moment, I seemed to be him, my body gradually became cold, my beating heart stopped, and I fell into endless nothingness.

As if living in a monster's lair, in a warm and humid environment, the strange thumping sound kept ringing, as if it was far away in the sky and close in front of you.

Even if I can't see anything, I seem to have an intuition telling me: I am lying on the heart of a monster, I am extremely small in the hideous chest of this huge monster, I am wrapped in the vortex, rushing here, There is no escape.

Then, I opened my dream eyes.

A faceless monster suddenly appeared in my field of vision. He seemed to be looking at me closely, but he had no eyes of his own.But I don't know why, but I know clearly: he is indeed looking at me.At that moment, extreme fear instantly surrounded me, I struggled and screamed, and escaped from that terrible dream.

On the wet and warm heart of the monster, a faceless monster approached me, he had no entity of his own, like a human mirror, and I saw my broken self on his reflective head .

The mutilated, broken, brand new monster.

I had a nightmare. I kept this nightmare deep in my heart and dared not tell anyone.

I was terrified.It is said that I am not afraid of the sky, I am terrified.That was a completely different fear from the fear of tigers and wolves. Such a huge and pervasive fear made me unable to make a sound.

I dare not even call for help, dare not question.

I used to want to find his heart all over the world, but then I fell, and I never, dare not mention it again.