the city I love

14

He was lying in the arms of a man as he was when he was a child, and asked the man to cover his ears. The fireworks outside were beautiful, but too short, and he couldn't even finish his sentence. He breathed weakly and said, "I want to breastfeed." Candy, you bought it for me before, Taibaitu"

Taibai Rabbit Toffee, he used it to mock men for a long time, but now he really misses the past, the Taibai Rabbit Toffee he gave,

"I'll buy it for you when you're better. I'll buy you as much as you want. You can eat whatever you want." He tried his best to control himself, not daring to show any strangeness in himself.

"Liar..." He lost his strength, "It's been a long time... I haven't eaten..."

"I'm not lying to you, I'll buy it for you tomorrow, okay?"

"You are so stupid...you will be cheated by others." Zhang Chu said weakly, "Don't always...don't think about anything...just...promise to others"

"Chuchu..." Zhang Zhihuai tightened his arms, only to find that the person in his arms was so thin that he could hug him with just one arm.

......

Zhang Chu didn’t respond to him.

"neat..."

"I...want...to sleep for a while" the voice of the person in his arms was as soft as a mosquito

"Don't sleep, okay..." The man's voice trembled, half begging and half forceful, "Chuchu, don't sleep"

"You...so annoying...I'll just...sleep for a while" He took a long time to say a word before he had the strength to say the next sentence, "Wait for me to recover... eat... Zhang Zhihuai... I Cold...I want to go home..." The voice became weaker and weaker at the end, the hand on the waist slowly dropped, and the slow breathing stopped abruptly, he called the man's name for the first time, until the last moment He didn't even say the words I love you.

In the end, there was only silence in the room, and the fireworks outside were so lively that Zhang Chu no longer needed someone to cover his ears

The man cried silently, hugged him tightly, kissed his forehead, and rubbed his cold hands for him, but there was no response.

He cried silently, and tears wet the pillow and the plush hat Zhang Chu was wearing. His heart seemed to be torn apart, and it was terribly uncomfortable.

He kissed his eyes, nose, cheek... Finally, he tremblingly put his lips on Zhang Chu's lips, sobbing, as if saying: I love you...

Years of love has finally been answered, but that person is no longer there.

When he first found out that Zhang Chu’s feelings for him were not ordinary feelings for his elders, he panicked.

That night, when he was sleeping in a daze, he always felt that there was something on his lips. When he found out that Zhang Chu was kissing him, his head seemed to explode, and he almost wanted to jump up immediately in panic, but He didn't move, Chu Chu was too timid and too sensitive, such a big reaction from him would definitely hurt him.At that time, how will they get along with each other?

He pretended not to know anything and didn't even move a bit. He didn't fall asleep that night. When he opened his eyes after an unknown amount of time, Zhang Chu had already fallen asleep. tear stains.

Zhang Zhihuai didn't know what it was like, he was always a child raised by himself, never willing to beat and scold him, he was a child raised in his hands.Now, how could it become like this?Sighing inwardly, he gently wiped away his tears.

This is the first time he has learned about the word homosexuality. He doesn’t know whether Zhang Chu is like this in the first place, or if he has misled him. He blames himself in his heart.

Later, he began to read various books on this subject. He knew that such an environment does not have a high tolerance for homosexuality. He was worried that Zhang Chu would suffer more isolation and abuse if others found out about his situation, let alone them. Or blood related uncles and nephews...

He only hoped that Zhang Chu misunderstood his feelings only because he saw too few people and was always under his protection.

So, he began to stuff physiology books into the room calmly, and pretended to mention the girls in Zhang Chu's class casually, asking if any girls sent him love letters, and even encouraged him to hang out with friends more on weekends.He pretended to be a very open-minded parent and said that it is okay to have a girlfriend, as long as it does not delay study.

But Zhang Chu always looks like he can’t arouse any interest.Later, Zhang Chu looked at him more and more differently, obsessively and dependently, it was really easy to guess.Anyone who has experienced the relationship between personnel and affairs can tell at a glance that he feels that he can't go on like this. This kind of relationship is not correct in the first place, and he will destroy Zhang Chu......

He began to ask Zhang Chu to sleep alone, forcing himself not to look at his lost eyes, and trying to control his physical contact.Then he takes a hint from a girl and marries her.

Seeing Zhang Chuqiang holding up a smile but with sadness in his eyes that could not be healed, Zhang Zhihuai almost fled in despair. He felt that he was a hypocrite, and he wanted to return Zhang Chu to the right path he thought he had. He continued to play the role of a good uncle in a dignified manner, but forgot to ask Zhang Chu what he was thinking. He had tried his best to restrain his own feelings and was already very obedient and sensible, but he still didn’t think it was enough to get away from him. farther and farther.

Every time when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he always feels that Zhang Chu is still living in this room, and he still has nightmares, so afraid that Zhang Zhihuai has to hug him to sleep together. Later, Zhang Chu became more and more alienated from him, he was so sad and reluctant , but there is no reason to justify himself.

Now, the body in his arms is gradually losing temperature... Zhang Zhihuai suddenly wants to go back to the past, to that night.If you respond...if you don't have to worry about so many gossip...if you tell him, I love you too...wouldn't you miss so many years...

He was in so much pain that he couldn't speak anymore...