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But why is the mother so selfish? And why does such a selfish person become her own mother?

How should a person spend his short life? Zhuang Zijing has thought about this question countless times.This question had begun to haunt her even as a child.When she saw others holding the hands of her parents and enjoying the so-called family happiness, she would suffer physical pain if she was not careful. At that time, she thought maybe it was because she was not doing well enough, or maybe it was her mother who treated her badly. more demanding.How should I face it? Then work hard and try to meet the mother's requirements.

But when she got the best grades, was admitted to a good school, and won the capital for her mother to show off in front of others, she found that her mother's satisfaction with her studies did not seem to be able to change her destiny.At that time, my mother was showing off outside, but when she came home, she often said to herself that it costs money to study! What's the use of doing well in the exam, and it can't make money.

So, is the most important thing about people is money? If so, then work hard.

So Zhuang Zijing studied harder in order to get a higher scholarship. In addition, she also participated in the school’s work-study program, doing some part-time jobs on weekends to earn money, and then seriously studied economics, and used the pitiful salary and scholarships for investment... ... She lived with trepidation, and every step was like walking on thin ice.For four years in college, she didn't let her mother spend a penny on herself.

But still not recognized by the mother.She became confused.

After graduating from college, she worked hard and gave a large part of the money she earned to her mother, but what she got in return was her mother's smile when she received the money. In addition, the so-called maternal love is still as far away as the stars in the sky.

When the cold reality was slowly placed in front of her along the axis of time, Zhuang Zijing found that for the sake of so-called filial piety and to meet the needs of that poor and hateful mother, she gradually moved away from the life she wanted. It became a walking dead in the city that has been far away from its true nature.

Abandoning those empty external things, money or rights are not what you want, but what do you want? When the news of Du Lang's sudden death came, Zhuang Zijing suddenly had the best excuse to escape from that crazy life- ---No matter how life should go, at least you should live first.Live as if you are alive! Live like a tree on a green hill, free and without contention.

But when she was far away from that environment, freedom was still so rare, and her heart was still tightly bound by those nightmare-like inescapable fates that had been entangled in her heart for many years.

"Can I really give up everything, including my mother?" She often thinks about this question, but can't make a decision.

Zhuang Zijing sat on the bed of a hotel in a different place, buried her face between her curled legs and knees, the exhaustion welling up from the bottom of her heart made her feel so powerless in the face of all this.

☆、Chapter 6 Meet a cyclist on the road

What is family affection? When I knew it could be measured by money, the world suddenly became so simple.In Deqin, a small town next to Meili Snow Mountain, the sloping roads are probably the channel I am looking for to pour out the melancholy that I can't get rid of.Afterwards, perhaps I can appreciate all this with a truly free eye.

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Zhuang Sheng's Travel Notes In the early morning of the next day, Zhuang Zijing took a car to Feilai Temple early, and then walked in the dangerous Walk slowly on the road.There are many cars driving into Tibet. Judging from the license plates, they seem to come from all over the country, and many cyclists have already started their journeys. However, the Meili Snow Mountain, which is covered by clouds and mist, still does not show its true colors that people yearn for.Zhuang Zijing found a viewing platform and stopped. She was not in a hurry, or she was in a hurry just to see Meili Snow Mountain, but now that she was near Meili Snow Mountain, she had no reason to hurry.

When a cyclist came to Zhuang Zijing's side, he stopped the car, pulled off his scarf and smiled at her: "Alone?"

Zhuang Zijing nodded: "Alone."

"There are many people on the Sichuan-Tibet line, but there are very few alone, especially a beautiful girl like you." The rider was wearing a cycling uniform, tall and tall, and his face was already tanned when he pulled down the towel. But he smiled brightly.

"I don't take the Sichuan-Tibet line." Zhuang Zijing said: "And I'm not traveling alone, I just come out to see the scenery alone." Zhuang Zijing's tone was very calm, but not eager.There are always people to strike up on the road, but that's all there is to it.

"Oh, then your destination is Meili Snow Mountain?" The cyclist remained enthusiastic: "We rode the Sichuan-Tibet line. There were 16 people when we started, and only half of them were left when we arrived in Deqin. Actually, I am also thinking about it." Do you want to make this the end point?"

Zhuang Zijing is not good at chatting with strangers, but she also said the truth: "It's as long as you like it, and you can go wherever you want."

This is what Zhuang Zijing thinks now. As long as you are happy, you can be anywhere. You don’t have to go to Tibet or Shangri-La. If Deqin can make you feel happy, then Deqin is your destination .She even suddenly thought of Xiao Yang who was repairing the car.That small town left a very good impression on me. In fact, even if I let myself stay in that small town, I think it's perfectly fine.

The cyclist seemed to think about Zhuang Zijing's words, and then nodded heavily: "Yes, as long as you like it, you can go wherever you want. Why do you have to finish the Sichuan-Tibet line? Every year, many people set up a road for themselves. A grand goal, such as riding the Sichuan-Tibet line, but there are many people who have left their lives on the Sichuan-Tibet line, so far they have not been able to complete this goal in their lifetime."

Zhuang Zijing knew that the Sichuan-Tibet line was the ultimate challenge in the eyes of cyclists, but she didn't know that many people lost their lives on this road, so when she heard what the cyclist said, she looked at the cyclist in surprise, There was some regret in his eyes: "Everyone should have their own goals, but why should they set goals that they can't achieve, or that will cost a lot of money or risk? It's the same if the Sichuan-Tibet line is not finished. Live happily."

The cyclist seemed to rarely hear such remarks, and said with a smile: "The cyclist regards the completion of the Sichuan-Tibet line as an honor, as a very important thing in life, and as a way of recognizing himself."

Zhuang Zijing thought of Du Langlai: "I have a friend who regards developing the family business as his lifelong goal. He has been doing very well, just like these cyclists on the Sichuan-Tibet line, but when he was nearing the finish line, He died unexpectedly due to overwork."

The smile on the rider's face disappeared and turned into deep thought. After a moment of silence, he looked into Zhuang Zijing's eyes again: "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Zhuang Zijing smiled. She suddenly remembered that when she talked about her family with Xiao Yang, she said she was sorry when she learned that Xiao Yang's parents had died young, but Xiao Yang didn't seem to understand this polite sentence.Perhaps it can also be seen from this that the cyclist is a well-cultivated person, and Xiao Yang, of course, is that little town girl who doesn't have much culture and doesn't know much about this kind of communication.

At this time, a cyclist passed by along the road. They raised their hands to greet the cyclist beside Zhuang Zijing, and when they saw Zhuang Zijing next to them, they waved to her too.

"You should go." Zhuang Zijing said.

The cyclist laughed, "I'm not leaving."

"Oh?"

"I'm going to wait for the clouds to clear and the fog to clear, so that I can see the sunshine shining on Jinshan." The cyclist's eyes were even playful.

Zhuang Zijing also smiled and said nothing.

There are more and more people driving and cycling past on the road behind the two, and the thick fog under the mountainside makes the people standing here feel like they are in a fairyland.Suddenly, the clouds and mist on the opposite side parted, and Meili Snow Mountain finally revealed its shocking true colors at that moment.It's like a fairyland, it's hard to describe.

Not long after, the clouds and mists covered up again, so repeatedly, the amazing and inexplicable Meili Snow Mountain finally made Zhuang Zijing feel that the trip was worthwhile.