I accidentally joined a group of charlatans, so I immediately called the police and handed it over t

The atmosphere in the Heavenly Court chat group was even more somber than in a funeral home on Earth.

[Barefoot Immortal]: Nothing to do today, so I went to a brothel to listen to music... No, what music? The Moon Goddess Chang'e has been keeping herself away from guests lately, saying she's researching something called "hydration and moisturizing".

[Venus]: This old Taoist priest just copied the Tao Te Ching ten thousand times, and I feel like my Taoist heart is about to shatter. Someone please save this old Taoist priest, even just to talk about how pork prices have gone up in the mortal world.

Amidst the wailing, that familiar avatar, which always brought surprises, lit up.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: Fellow immortals, I see that you are all so troubled, and I happen to have some "cultivation notes" recorded by mortal cultivators.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: Although it's just a mortal's fantasy, there's a certain heroic spirit of defying fate and fighting against heaven between the lines. I wonder if any seniors would be interested in taking a look?

The group chat went silent for a second after the message was sent.

[Lei Gong]: Cultivation notes? What good notes can a mortal write? It's nothing more than the stuff about refining essence into qi, which I learned when I was three years old.

[Nezha]: Pshaw, that's boring. You might as well give me two packs of spicy strips.

Chen Xi didn't care about these sarcastic remarks.

He understood the psychology of these deities all too well—they said no, but their actions betrayed them.

The phrase "defying fate" is particularly appealing to these people who have been working within the system for tens of thousands of years and have long lost their edge.

At this moment, inside Base 001.

Under Li Guobang's personal instructions, a special task force codenamed "Mending the Sky" was urgently established.

The members are not special forces soldiers or scientists, but rather the top online novel editors, folklore experts, and psychologists in China.

Their only task is to select the most suitable spiritual sustenance for the immortals from the vast sea of ​​online novels.

"You can't be too naive; even gods aren't stupid," an editor wearing thick-rimmed glasses analyzed.

"We can't be too cruel to the protagonist. Immortals have a lot of work pressure, and they read books to enjoy themselves."

"You also need to be able to empathize with the character," the psychologist added.

"We need to make them feel that although the protagonist in the book is weak, his mentality and shrewdness are something even they themselves are ashamed of."

After three hours of intense screening, a final document was placed in front of Chen Xi.

That was the pinnacle of the mortal cultivation genre—"A Record of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality".

Chen Xi did not release the original version directly.

He used software to change Han Li in the document to Han Paopao, slightly polished some overly modern vocabulary, and then packaged it into TXT format.

File name: "Senior Brother Han's True Record of Cultivating Immortality (Volume 1)".

[System notification: You have successfully uploaded the group file "Senior Brother Han's Cultivation Record (Volume 1)".]

After sending the document, Chen Xi tossed his phone aside and went straight to sleep.

……

The Thirty-Third Heaven, the Cloud Tower Palace.

Nezha lay listlessly on the Hun Tian Ling (a magical sash), a half-eaten spicy snack stick dangling from his mouth.

What kind of whimsy can a mortal's reflections on spiritual practice possibly have?

He casually opened the file.

Lines of text appeared in my mind.

At first, Nezha was dismissive.

A mortal boy with mediocre, even inferior, talent, who needs half a year to practice even the most basic fireball spell, is such a waste that he wouldn't even be worthy of sweeping the floor in the Heavenly Court.

But as he watched, Nezha's brows furrowed.

This kid named Han Li is interesting.

Faced with the schemes of his sect, he remained calm and secretly accumulated strength.

When faced with pursuit from powerful enemies, he never fought head-on, but instead used terrain, talismans, poison, and every other means possible.

"How insidious! How cunning! But it feels so good!"

Nezha suddenly sat up straight.

He witnessed Han Li wreaking havoc in the Crimson Forbidden Land in his quest to seize a Foundation Establishment Grass.

The tension of walking on the edge of life and death, dancing on the edge of a knife, made this war god, who hadn't fought in thousands of years, feel a long-lost surge of passion.

"Ruthless and decisive in battle! This is the true essence of cultivation! This is the true spirit of the martial world!"

Nezha was completely absorbed in it.

He forgot the passage of time and forgot that he still needed to pay his respects to Li Jing.

The same scene unfolded in every corner of the Heavenly Court.

Lei Gong stared at Han Li using the Palm Heaven Bottle to accelerate the ripening of spiritual herbs, his eyes widening like copper bells:

"This...this is the law of time?! A mortal has actually mastered a divine artifact that governs the law of time?!"

Lao Tzu, upon reading the descriptions of alchemy in the book, couldn't help but exclaim in admiration:

"Brilliant! Using the inner core of a demon beast as medicine, and combining it with a specific time and earth fire... Although the method is crude, the idea is simply imaginative!"

As Chang'e watched Han Li drift alone in the Chaotic Star Sea, forging a solitary path for the Great Dao, her eyes welled up with tears.

"The Great Dao is ruthless, the path to immortality is fraught with peril... Isn't this a description of us?"

Overnight.

This online novel, disguised as a collection of essays, swept through the entire Heavenly Court like a plague.

For the first time, the immortals experienced what it meant to "follow the updates".

The pain of seeing the climax suddenly cut short is a hundred times more unbearable than a heavenly tribulation.

The next morning, Chen Xi was startled by the frantic vibration of her phone as soon as she opened her eyes.

Upon opening it, I saw 999+ messages.

【Nezha】: @Newcomer reporting in, please protect me, come out! Don't play dead! Has Han Li successfully established his foundation?! Has the poison from that black dragon been cured?!

[Lei Gong]: I'm so anxious! I saw it disappear at the crucial moment! You're trying to destroy my Dao heart!

[Venus]: Young friend, as long as you post the following content, I will personally sponsor you a youth-preserving pill!

[Giant Spirit God]: I want to see Han Li kill someone! I want to see him play dumb to take advantage of others! It's so exciting! A million times more exciting than reading those pretentious dramas!

Even Erlang Shen, who had been lurking in the shadows for millennia, surfaced.

[Erlang Shen]: The Great Evolution Technique mentioned in the book seems to have unique aspects regarding the cultivation of divine sense. More chapters to follow.

Looking at the group of "gods" on the screen who had completely become internet addicts, Chen Xi revealed a shrewd businessman's smile.

Once you're addicted, you can decide what you want from then on.

He slowly typed out a line of text.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: Fellow seniors, even a mortal cultivator's record of notes requires considerable mental effort. This second volume...

Chen Xi paused deliberately, not finishing his sentence.

But all the gods understood.

This is an attempt to arbitrate the price!

In the past, they would have certainly cursed this mortal for being greedy and insatiable. But now, to know Han Li's fate, and for that gripping plot...

[Nezha]: Send red envelopes! I'll send them!

[God of Wealth]: It's just some material possessions, right? This god will transfer 10,000 merits to you right now! Hurry up and update! Even the donkeys in the production team dare not rest like this!

Chen Xi watched the flood of red envelopes that instantly filled her screen, then turned to look at the rising sun outside the window.

"Cultural export is indeed the most profitable business."