One Piece: Honey Badger Speedruns the World

Night falls.

The town of Qimi was shrouded in an eerie stillness.

The originally sweet scent in the air seemed particularly thick and sticky at night, as if it could choke one's throat.

Only from the distant primeval forest could one occasionally hear a few eerie buzzing sounds.

"We've arrived...we've arrived..."

Franpe floated in the air, already panting heavily from exhaustion.

She looked down at the dark forest below, then at the moon already hanging in the sky, and her spoiled nature immediately kicked in:

"Hey! It's already evening!"

Franpe, hands on her hips, shouted at Goss, who was walking ahead of her, "I want to rest! I want to sleep on the softest cloud bed and drink hot milk!"

Goss stopped and turned around. He was carrying an empty wooden bucket that could fit two people, which he casually tossed at Franpe's feet.

Clang!

"rest?"

Goss raised an eyebrow and pointed to the empty bucket: "Chief of Staff, your work has only just begun."

"We need a lot of honey for tomorrow's banquet to welcome Germa. It's a specialty of Seven Honey Town, and it can only be harvested at night when the killer bees return to their hive."

Goss found a clean, large rock, sat down, crossed his legs, and ordered matter-of-factly, "Go. Fill it up. Not a drop less."

"ha?!"

Franpe's eyes widened as she pointed at the enormous wooden barrel, her voice trembling: "Full?! That must weigh at least a ton! And..."

She pointed angrily at Goss's flat stomach: "You ate all the honey we had in stock in the square. How dare you ask me to collect it?"

"I need to correct you on one point. That was my prize, and it belonged to me in the first place."

Goss's face darkened: "What? You're already disobeying orders as soon as you take office, Chief of Staff?"

"you……"

Franpe was trembling with anger. But looking at Goss's cold eyes and the badge on his chest that was shimmering faintly, she swallowed the curse that was about to come out of her mouth.

"Fine, I'll go! Who's afraid of who!"

Franpe grabbed the barrel, turned fiercely, and charged into the dark forest.

Just you wait! After I finish collecting the honey, I'll lure the bees onto your face while you're sleeping!

Ten minutes later.

"Aaaaaaah!! Help!!"

"Get away! You ugly freaks! Don't come any closer!!"

From the depths of the forest came Franpe's heart-wrenching screams.

Immediately afterwards, a swarm of giant killer bees, each the size of a fist and with blue glowing tails, chased after Flampe and stung her like bombers.

Under such a dense barrage of attacks, her puffy dress became the perfect target.

"Waaaaah...it hurts so much!!"

Franpe fought back while waving her blowgun and fleeing in a sorry state.

And Goss? He sat on a rock at the edge of the forest, holding an apple he'd picked from who-knows-where, munching on it while watching the show.

Whenever a stray bee tries to attack him, it is stunned by the faint, yet unmistakable, aura of dominance emanating from him.

"Too slow, aide."

Goss even chimed in with sarcastic remarks: "Running around like that will anger the queen bee. Be gentle, be quiet. Look, your face is all swollen like a pig's head, you look even uglier."

"Goss!!! I hate you!!"

Franpe broke down in tears. Her once delicate face was now swollen with several large bumps, and one of her eyes was squinted into a slit, making her look both comical and pitiful.

……

Two hours later.

Midday on the moon.

Franpe dragged the wooden barrel, which was only half full of honey, and limped out of the forest.

She looked absolutely terrible—her hair was a mess, her dress was tattered, and her face was covered in red and purple marks, swollen like an over-fermented dough.

"I...I've brought them back..."

Franpe weakly put the bucket down, about to complain, when she realized—

snoring

Goss was leaning against that big rock, arms crossed over his chest, eyes closed, emitting soft, even snores.

"Sleeping...asleep?!"

Franpe saw that the culprit who had tormented her to this extent was fast asleep, and the anger in her heart instantly burst forth from the top of her head.

Kill him... I'm going to kill him...

Franpe's swollen hand trembled as she reached for the blowgun at her waist.

It contained a neurotoxin powerful enough to paralyze a giant elephant.

Just one hit on the neck and this guy will never wake up again.

Once he's dead, the position of Honey Minister will be mine again!

She quietly raised the blowgun and aimed it at Goss's throat. However, just as she was about to blow, her movement froze.

A chill ran down my spine.

Looking at Goss's angular face, which was sharp even in his sleep, Franpee suddenly recalled his emotionless eyes in the hall and his terrifying aura that could withstand even her mother's pressure.

No...no...Flampe's hands began to tremble violently.

This guy is a monster Mom approves of. What if... what if this injection doesn't kill him immediately?

What if he has Observation Haki and wakes up the instant I attack? Then I'll die... He would crush me like an ant!

Moreover, even if she really killed him… Franpe bit her lip, her mind racing.

He was a minister personally appointed by my mother. If I kill him without any explanation, she'll definitely find out. Then, forget about becoming a minister; my soul might be ripped out by her!

It's not worth risking my life for such a barbarian! I absolutely cannot do this dirty work myself.

Franpe slowly lowered the blowgun, the murderous intent in her eyes gradually turning into malice.

Yeah... Why should I do it myself? I can just be a "victim".

If a powerful, short-tempered, and extremely protective person killed him, then it's none of my business.

A twisted, malicious smile spread across Franpe's lips, pulling at the swelling on her face and causing her to wince in pain, but this only strengthened her resolve.

With trembling hands, she pulled a Den Den Mushi from her pocket. She glanced cautiously at the sleeping Goss, then tiptoed to a large tree a few hundred meters away.

Blub Blub... Blub Blub...

The phone was answered after only one ring.

"Hey? This is the Cookie Minister." A deep, gruff voice with a hint of laziness came from the other end of the phone.

The moment she heard that voice, Franpe's psychological defenses completely collapsed. All the grievances, pain, and humiliation turned into a torrent of tears.

"Waaaaah!! Cracker brother!!"

……

Cookie Island, Cookie Town.

The burly, hair-like-firecracker-like Senju Cracker was sitting in a chair enjoying late-night cookies and black tea.

Upon hearing the heart-wrenching cries coming from the Den Den Mushi, Cracker instantly crushed the teacup in his hand into powder.

"Flampe?!"

Cracker abruptly stood up, his terrifying aura instantly putting the surrounding biscuit soldiers into battle mode: "What's wrong?! Who bullied you?! Don't cry, tell me!"

"Waaaaah... Brother... I'm going to die..."

The Den Den Mushi mimicked Flampe's current miserable state, its face swollen, crying with snot and tears streaming down its face: "That Goss... that barbarian... he forced me to feed the killer bees... my face is all stung raw... waaaaah..."

"He also said... that Cracker's cookies are only good for feeding pigs... that our Charlotte family are all useless people who rely on Mom's protection..."

"Brother... I'm so scared... He's going to throw me into the sea to feed the fish... Help!"

Crack! The floor tiles beneath Cracker's feet shattered instantly.

"That bastard!!"

Cracker's eyes instantly became bloodshot, and the veins on his forehead bulged.

As an extremely protective older brother, seeing his younger sister being tortured like this...

"Goss...Goss..."

Cracker chewed on the name, his fierce eyes narrowing slightly as he quickly searched his memory for any recollection of it.

A few seconds later, an image flashed into his mind.

It was an urgent report submitted not long ago by the chess soldier in charge of intelligence. Attached to the report was a photograph: a young honey badger from the Mink Tribe, casually picking his nose.

"I remember now..."

"That newcomer who just joined the Kingdom today."

Cracker remembered clearly that Perospero had mentioned this guy sourly over tea earlier that day: "That bastard named Goss, relying on his Conqueror's Haki, was incredibly arrogant in front of Mother. Not only did he refuse the marriage alliance, but he also publicly humiliated Flampe and even tricked Mother out of the Minister's badge."

"So it was that arrogant brat who didn't know his place?!"

Cracker originally thought that he was just a newcomer with a bit of personality, but he didn't expect that this guy was not only arrogant, but was actually provoking the bottom line of the Charlotte family!

"You rejected the marriage because you looked down on them? You humiliated Flampe because you thought the Charlotte family was weak?"

Cracker's grip on the sword hilt cracked, and the blade of the famous sword "Pretzel" trembled slightly from the excessive force.

……

Seven Honey Town, on the edge of the forest.

Franpe wiped away her tears after hanging up the phone, looking at Goss, who was still "sound asleep," a twisted and malicious smile spreading across her face. You're dead...you're dead, Goss! Cracker's coming to take your life right now!

However, she didn't see it. In the shadow of the moonlight, Goss, who seemed to be fast asleep, had a barely perceptible smile playing on his lips.

"That's right, Chief of Staff."

"If he hadn't come, this place wouldn't be chaotic enough..."

……

The outer seas are shrouded in thick fog.

A pirate ship turned off all its lights and, like a thief, cautiously navigated a rocky area.

"Hehehe..." Bucky, head down, lay on the steering wheel, watching the faint lights of Seven Honeytown in the distance, and let out a smug chuckle.

"See that, my men! This is my wisdom!"

"That idiot Jinbe is probably still foolishly guarding the area. Who would have thought that the great Captain Buggy would sneak in from this reef area?"

"As expected of Captain Bucky!" Mochi and Kabaji quickly flattered him.

Alvida leaned against the mast, rolling her eyes in exasperation: "As long as we don't run aground and sink..."

"Shut up!" Bucky yelled back, then rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Goss...you just wait! While you're sleeping, I'm going to steal my neck back and take all your treasure! That's what happens when you anger Bucky..."

However, just as Bucky was indulging in his dream of revenge...

Suddenly, the already dim sea became completely black. Even the faint moonlight overhead disappeared.

"Huh? What's going on?"

Bucky paused, then looked up in confusion. "Why is it suddenly dark? Is it going to rain?"

Mochi's lion, Liki, suddenly bristled, let out a terrified whimper, and lay on the ground trembling.

"Captain Bucky..."

Kabaji's voice trembled, his finger stiffly pointing to the ceiling: "No...it's not that it's dark...it's...it's up there..."

Bucky looked in the direction of the finger.

The next second, his eyeballs popped out of their sockets, and his jaw almost fell to the ground.

Above them was a mountain. No, it was a ship.

A massive, black fortress, as large as a moving island, was breaking through the fog, moving silently above them like a towering Mount Tai, exuding a despairing sense of oppression.

The enormous, snail-shaped hull blocked out the starry sky, cold mechanical lights flashing on its sides, and on its massive sails, a bright red number resembled a countdown to death—

"66".

"Germany...Germany 66?!"

Bucky let out a pig-like scream: "Why is this legendary army of evil here?!?!"

"Turn the rudder! Run! We're going to be crushed!!"

But given this size difference, it's like an ant trying to escape from under an elephant's feet.

Rumble, rumble—!!

With a tremendous roar, Germa's giant snail ship showed no sign of slowing down and simply crushed through.

Snap! Crackling sounds!

Wood chips flew everywhere. The poor boat couldn't even hold on for a second before being crushed into pieces.

"Waaaaaah!!"

Mochi, Kabaji, Alvida, and the lion, accompanied by screams, were scattered like petals in the sky, their whereabouts unknown.

……

The flagship of the Germa, the bridge of the USS Saint Germa.

The ship shook slightly.

A clone soldier wearing goggles glanced at the instrument panel and reported, "Lord Yuji, it seems the hull of the ship has hit something. It looks like some kind of small floating object, or perhaps a lost fishing boat."

The green-haired youth, Vinsmoke Yonji, who sat in the command chair with his feet propped up on the control panel, didn't even lift his eyelids.

He toyed with a mechanical part in his hand, a cold, arrogant smile playing on his lips.

"You bumped into it? Well, so be it."

"But...should we stop and check? What if it belongs to the Kingdom of Ten Thousand..."

"idiot."

Yuji coldly interrupted the soldier, his eyes revealing an air of domineering self-righteousness: "Whether it's a ship from Whole Cake Island or a pirate ship, on this sea, only others give way to Germa."

He stood up, looking at the gradually clearing harbor of Seven Honey Town ahead: "Their inability to avoid it was their fault. The weak are crushed by the strong; this is the law of this world."

"Keep moving! Don't let a few ants delay our meeting with the old lady."

"Yes! Yuji-sama!"

……

Meanwhile, on the outside of the ship's hull.

The side of the giant snail shell, more than ten meters above the sea surface.

slap.

A red-nosed man was stuck to the slippery snail shell like a piece of rice cake. Because of his body's ability to break apart, Bucky wasn't crushed at the moment of impact, but was instead embedded in a gap in the hull by the powerful force of the impact.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch..." Bucky struggled to pull the head that was growing directly onto his shoulder, spitting out a mouthful of wood chips mixed with seawater.

"My ship...my treasure...my men..."

Bucky stared at the turbulent sea below, tears welling in his eyes. Everything was gone! Six months of hard work, all gone in a single crash!

"Damn Germa... don't they watch where they're going?!"