Three Kingdoms: Mistakenly Becoming Liu Bei's Adoptive Father at the Start

Changan.

An urgent report from Tongguan reached Dong Zhuo's residence.

"Report! Duan Wei, the garrison commander of Tongguan, has fled upon hearing of the fall of Hangu Pass! Cao Cao's army has entered Tongguan, and their vanguard is heading straight for Huayin!"

Dong Zhuo suddenly stood up from the couch, his belly jiggling a few times, and the fat on his face contorting into a grimace.

"Useless! A bunch of useless trash!" Dong Zhuo grabbed a wine cup from the table and slammed it to the ground. "Half a day at Hangu Pass, not a single arrow fired at Tong Pass, and we're going to hand over the entire Qin region like this?"

Li Ru stood calmly to the side, waiting for Dong Zhuo to finish his tirade before slowly speaking: "Prime Minister, with Hangu Pass and Tong Pass lost, Chang'an is no longer defensible. It's time to make plans."

Dong Zhuo glared at him: "Plans? What plans?"

Li Ru said, "Abandon Chang'an and retreat to Xiliang."

Dong Zhuo was taken aback, then flew into a rage: "Retreat? My 200,000 troops, including Lü Bu, Li Jue, Guo Si, Zhang Ji, and Fan Chou, are all capable and skilled warriors! Retreat for what?"

Li Ru remained calm and composed: "Prime Minister, please calm your anger. Although Guanzhong has been lost, Liangzhou still stands. Most of our troops are from Xiliang; retreating is like fish returning to their abyss. If we remain trapped in Chang'an, surrounded by enemies on all sides, that will be our death."

Dong Zhuo paced back and forth, panting heavily.

Another urgent report came from outside the tent: "Report—the warlords of Guandong have gathered in Hanoi, passed Hulao Pass, and are approaching Luoyang!"

"Report! Yuan Shu of Nanyang, Tao Qian of Xuzhou, Kong Rong of Beihai, Liu Biao of Jingzhou, and Liu Dai of Yanzhou, a total of thirty-six warlords, claiming an army of 800,000, are marching towards Chang'an!"

"Route 36... 800,000..."

Dong Zhuo's face turned pale.

Li Ru said, "Prime Minister, these figures may be exaggerated, but the fact that the feudal lords are flocking to us is true. Our army of 200,000, how many armies can we hold off? Lü Bu could fight five generals outside Hulao Pass, could he possibly fight fifty?"

Dong Zhuo looked at Lü Bu.

Lu Bu sat to one side, twirling a wine bowl in his hand, his face expressionless.

"Fengxian, what do you say?" Dong Zhuo asked, his brows furrowed.

Lu Bu slammed his wine bowl on the table. "Wenyou is right. That day outside Hulao Pass, Liu Bei's three generals and Cao Cao's two generals surrounded me, and I fought my way out. What if there were five or ten of them? I am not afraid of death, but I do not want to go and die."

Dong Zhuo remained silent upon hearing this.

They abandoned Luoyang first, then Chang'an, and were quite unwilling to accept it.

Li Ru said, "Prime Minister, why not leave the Emperor in Chang'an and let them fight it out? Our army can retreat to Xiliang and watch them fight it out from the sidelines. Once they're battered and exhausted, we can then march out of Liangzhou and clean up the mess. Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

Dong Zhuo's eyes lit up for a moment, then dimmed again.

"Leave the emperor here? Then... am I still Dong Zhongying?!"

Li Ru said, “Prime Minister, having the Emperor in hand is a matter of title. But this title must be held in reality. In the current situation, the feudal lords are rushing to Chang'an with bloodshot eyes. We can protect the Emperor, but we can't protect these hundreds of thousands of mouths. It's better to put it aside for now and let them fight over it. Whoever gets it will be the target of everyone's hatred. When they are tired of fighting and exhausted, we can come out again... By then, the Emperor will still be the Emperor, but the feudal lords will no longer be the same feudal lords.”

Dong Zhuo stared at Li Ru for a long time, then suddenly laughed: "Wenyou, Wenyou, what's wrong with your brain?"

Li Ru lowered his head and smiled: "Ru's mind is only meant to share the Prime Minister's burdens."

Dong Zhuo laughed heartily and turned to Lü Bu, saying, "Fengxian! Wenyou wants to withdraw his father to Xiliang. What do you think?"

Lü Bu said, "Retreat is fine. But if those good-for-nothings catch up..."

Li Ru said, "Absolutely not! Their target is Chang'an, the Emperor, not us."

Before Lü Bu could say anything more, Dong Zhuo slapped his thigh: "Good! It's settled then. Send down the order: the three armies should pack up their supplies and prepare for a westward retreat. Li Jue and Guo Si will cover the rear, Zhang Ji and Fan Chou will guard the supplies, and my son Lü Bu will lead the elite cavalry to accompany me first. As for... the Emperor..."

Li Ru said, "Prime Minister, rest assured, I will take care of it. However, there is one more thing to do before I leave."

Dong Zhuo asked, "What is it?"

Li Ru said, "Liu Bei has occupied Luoyang, and Cao Cao has broken through Hangu Pass. These two are currently at the height of their power. Why doesn't the Prime Minister take this opportunity, in the name of the Emperor, to promote them and bestow titles upon them?"

Dong Zhuo slammed his fist on the table in fury: "Promote those two scoundrels? Li Ru! Are you insane?!"

Li Ru smiled and said, "Prime Minister, please listen to my explanation. Liu Bei and Cao Cao are currently very powerful, and the other warlords are already envious. If the Emperor were to issue an edict to reward these two handsomely—dismissing Kong Rong and appointing Liu Bei as the Prefect of Beihai and Marquis of Yicheng; dismissing Zhang Miao and appointing Cao Cao as the Prefect of Chenliu, with the additional title of General Who Guards the East and Marquis of Feiting—Prime Minister, what do you think the other warlords would think?"

Dong Zhuo paused, then suddenly laughed: "They'll think, 'Why? Liu Bei, a weaver of mats and a sandal seller, and Cao Cao, the descendant of a eunuch, why are they granted titles and ranks?'"

Li Ru nodded: "Exactly. They won't think that this was the Prime Minister's idea; they'll only think, how could the Emperor, who is in Chang'an and being held hostage by the Prime Minister, issue such an edict? This edict must have been requested by Liu Bei and Cao Cao themselves. Or, they may be in cahoots with the Prime Minister."

Dong Zhuo clapped his hands and laughed: "Brilliant! Brilliant indeed! With the Prefect of Beihai, Kong Rong, and the Prefect of Chenliu, Zhang Miao, still alive, let them distrust and guard against each other. Once they start fighting, they won't have time to chase us."

Li Ru said, "I'll go and do it right away."

That night, Li Ru entered the palace.

Liu Xie sat on the couch, looking at Li Ru's perpetually smiling face, and felt a chill run down his spine.

"Minister Li... what brings you to the palace so late at night?"

Li Ru bowed and said, "Your Majesty, the Prime Minister has a request."

Liu Xie was taken aback: "Prime Minister...you're begging me?"

Li Ru said, "Liu Bei and Cao Cao have rendered meritorious service in suppressing the Yellow Turban rebels. The Chancellor wishes to request Your Majesty to issue an edict to commend them and demonstrate the court's benevolence."

Having said that, he took out a pre-prepared imperial edict and placed it in front of Liu Xie.

Liu Xie looked down:

"...Liu Bei, the magistrate of Anxi County, is a member of the Han imperial family and is commendable for his loyalty and bravery. He is now appointed as the governor of Beihai and enfeoffed as the marquis of Yicheng."

"...Cao Cao, the Prefect of Dongjun, was a General of Valiant Might, known for his loyalty and righteousness. He is now appointed Prefect of Chenliu, with the additional title of General Who Guards the East, and enfeoffed as Marquis of Feiting."

After reading it, Liu Xie looked up, his eyes filled with confusion.

"This...this is a reward for them?"

Li Ru smiled and said, "Yes. The Prime Minister said that these two have rendered meritorious service and should be rewarded."

Liu Xie was silent for a moment, then asked in a low voice, "What about the other lords?"

Li Ru said, "The other feudal lords... Your Majesty will have his own opportunities in the future."

Liu Xie did not ask any further questions.

He picked up the pen and stamped the imperial edict with the dragon seal.

Li Ru put away the imperial edict and said, "Your Majesty, the rebels in Guandong have already captured Luoyang and Hangu Pass, and will soon reach Chang'an. To protect the state, the Chancellor has decided to personally lead a large army west to Liangzhou to regroup and fight again. Your Majesty should remain in Chang'an and wait for the rebels to enter the city before issuing an edict to appease them and order them to fight among themselves. This is the best policy."

Liu Xie was stunned.

Stay in Chang'an?

Did it fall into the hands of those feudal lords?

Li Ru said, "Your Majesty, rest assured. Although the rebels are numerous, they each harbor different intentions. As long as Your Majesty issues an edict to let them fight each other first, they will return to welcome Your Majesty once the Chancellor has established a firm foothold in Liangzhou."

After speaking, he bowed and withdrew.

The palace doors closed, and the lamplight flickered.

Liu Xie sat in the empty hall, staring at the closed door, and chuckled twice.